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  1. #21
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    Nov. 2, 2001
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    Quote Originally Posted by alabama View Post
    Sorry, the guy was 39 years old. He did/does, however, have multi convictions. Not only that, but he could have gone in business with his family but decided to take a job that put him in daily contact with young children.

    I know I'm being vague but I really just wanted to express how this made me feel icky and wonder about my judgement. It was a long time ago that I was in contact with him. I guess you just never know about people. He seemed so normal.
    it's not your judgement.

    http://www.amazon.com/Predators-Pedo.../dp/0465071732
    that's a book my friend recommends about the subject. She had a rough life and read stuff like that on it's therapeutic value for her.
    it outlines how these people operate:
    being nice, indispencable, the pillar of the community and all that jazz....
    And that he took the job to be around children? I think that fits to a T!
    Like Sandusky with his charity...what a good man, no way he was this evil....all the while hunting on a baited field!

    of course cases like that make us bitter, and we tend to assume any male in the field is out for some action of the illegal kind, as it was demonstrated to me when I mentioned in another context how there are hardly any men in primary education. Guy in elementary school= pedo....which is not true, no matter what the headlines say.

    Plus, you did not keep contact, right? How could you have known?
    Quote Originally Posted by Mozart View Post
    Personally, I think the moderate use of shock collars in training humans should be allowed.



  2. #22
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    Feb. 18, 2011
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    I went on a date with a guy once-he was later convicted of molesting his 3 year old. When the charges were brought his wife burned their two children to death in their home to prevent them from testifying against him. I still feel sick thinking about having touched him...
    ~Former Pet Store Manager (10yrs)
    ~Vintage Toy Dealer (rememberswhen.us)
    Mom to : 1 Horse, 4 Dogs, 4 Cats, 1 Macaw, 6 (Former) Stepkids



  3. #23
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    Jun. 25, 2004
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    Carolinas
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    Alabama - it was a long time ago and he may not have started anything at that time. Plus these types of people are well versed at hiding their real intention from others. Give yourself a break on this one.
    "Never do anything that you have to explain twice to the paramedics."
    Courtesy my cousin Tim



  4. #24
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    Jan. 14, 2003
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    Massachusetts
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gloria View Post
    How old was the "child", and was it really a "one-sided" story? Some hormonal raging teenage girls are real evil doers, just saying. I myself wouldn't discount a friend just because he is labeled by law as such solely based on an arbitrary number as to when a female is mature enough to consent .
    Please stop for a moment and realize that "hormonal raging teenage girls" who have been brought up in healthy environments where they learn to respect themselves and learn healthy boundaries are not climbing all over older guys.

    And girls who have been sexually abused often react by becoming promiscuous so many of those "evil doers" behave that way for reasons you do not understand.

    That's the great thing about sexual abuse and rape. It's the gift that keeps on giving and the reason many men (and some women) get away with a lot of bad behaviors - because often the result is a young teen or young woman acting out in ways that people are not sympathetic to - people just clutch their husbands and boyfriends and just assume bad behavior and "low morals" on the part of the female.


    8 members found this post helpful.

  5. #25
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    Jan. 31, 2003
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    Thank you Sketcher...

    This reminds me of my then working student calling a class mate a slut. Long story short, after we discussed it and why a 15 year old girl would be promiscuous she retracted her judgement.

    And the bottom line is.. Grown men should know better. I asked Mr. Eqt about this subject once and he said young girls need older, SAFE men to practice flirting with and getting comfortable with guys.. At no time does that mean you are free to have sex with them.
    "Kindness is free" ~ Eurofoal
    ---
    The CoTH CYA - please consult w/your veterinarian under any and all circumstances.



  6. #26
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    PP, I agree that you were better off with them in a lot of ways, than 17 year old boys LOL

    But I still think they should have known better. There are maturity exceptions but there are no age exceptions, just the fact that they were willing to blow that off says a lot about their character
    "Kindness is free" ~ Eurofoal
    ---
    The CoTH CYA - please consult w/your veterinarian under any and all circumstances.


    1 members found this post helpful.

  7. #27
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    Oct. 21, 2003
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    Quote Originally Posted by EqTrainer View Post
    PP, I agree that you were better off with them in a lot of ways, than 17 year old boys LOL

    But I still think they should have known better. There are maturity exceptions but there are no age exceptions, just the fact that they were willing to blow that off says a lot about their character
    Yet we have OLD men with $$ running around with women in their early 20s and we don't have a problem with that? I can tell you I was a lot more mature at 17 than most women I know at 28.

    Just to say at some point the age thing does become kinda arbitrary...



  8. #28
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    Aug. 12, 2002
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    Calera, AL
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    I'm just sad that these were 11-12 year old gymnasts. He was their coach. I'm sorry but there just isn't enough brain bleach for me.

    And even though I always say I don't even like kids - ummm, no. Unacceptable.



  9. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by Perfect Pony View Post
    Yet we have OLD men with $$ running around with women in their early 20s and we don't have a problem with that? I can tell you I was a lot more mature at 17 than most women I know at 28.

    Just to say at some point the age thing does become kinda arbitrary...
    I really really do understand what you are saying. However... What is a mans reputation worth to him? * Not much * if he is willing to risk it for an underage POA. And that is a direct reflection on his character. Its not really about you or who you were at that age, its about him.

    Not to mention, we place all the responsibility on the girl to say no, because she is the one who traditionally "paid the price" - but that tide is turning AND men need to be given the same responsibility.

    I am no prude, trust me, but I know a lot of men who would tell you no way in hell would they ever consider sleeping with a 17 year old because, if for no other reason, they have too much to lose. And they are wise to be thinking with the head on top of their shoulders.
    "Kindness is free" ~ Eurofoal
    ---
    The CoTH CYA - please consult w/your veterinarian under any and all circumstances.


    2 members found this post helpful.

  10. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by alabama View Post
    I'm just sad that these were 11-12 year old gymnasts. He was their coach. I'm sorry but there just isn't enough brain bleach for me.

    And even though I always say I don't even like kids - ummm, no. Unacceptable.
    No one dislikes little girls that much so sad.
    "Kindness is free" ~ Eurofoal
    ---
    The CoTH CYA - please consult w/your veterinarian under any and all circumstances.



  11. #31
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    Oct. 21, 2003
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    I don't know EqTrainer, it's was Kentucky in 1988, was it illegal?

    I looked it up, the age of consent is 16 in Kentucky. Yet another illustration of how BS some of it is...



  12. #32
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    Quote Originally Posted by Perfect Pony View Post
    I don't know EqTrainer, it's was Kentucky in 1988, was it illegal?

    I looked it up, the age of consent is 16 in Kentucky. Yet another illustration of how BS some of it is...
    Well there ya go!
    "Kindness is free" ~ Eurofoal
    ---
    The CoTH CYA - please consult w/your veterinarian under any and all circumstances.



  13. #33
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    Dec. 26, 2008
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    One of DH's childhood friends did time for on-line predator type stuff ( think Dateline...). Not only did his girlfriend stay with him the entire time but NOBODY cares!!!!

    So here I am, the mother of two boys and I say he's not allowed alone with our kids under any circumstance...DH's response...He's not gay! or He wasn't in trouble for talking dirty to 10 year olds.

    My thoughts are totally different like a kid is a kid.



  14. #34
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    May. 4, 2003
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    While real predators are revolting and their behaviour unforgivable, don't be fooled that all the cases are legit. Many girls know how to make a buck with fale accusations and it has been a trend for a long time now, with over-eager prosecutors. Once a man makes an out-of-court settlement, he is tarred forever.

    I made the sexual/verbal harassment policy for Canadian Pony Club, but sadly I think it has been buried somewhere and my desire was to have it brought up as a reminder on an annual basis, where parents or children would know where to go and what to do.
    Proud member of People Who Hate to Kill Wildlife clique



  15. #35
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    Jun. 9, 2012
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    One of my best friends is registered as a sex offender. However, in his case it was consensual (believe it was with his current gf who was close in age/same age). Not sure why or how he ended up getting registered. Girls parents probably found out and freaked.

    It's never changed my opinion of him. I get kind of defensive when people judge him for it. It's just a label, and most people don't know the whole story. Now, if he had been convicted for something heinous and absolutely horrible, then I probably would think of him differently, etc.



  16. #36
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    Jan. 11, 2010
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    VA
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    I found out this summer that a boyfriend I had truly loved in college molested his adopted daughter then committed suicide the day before the news broke. I still can't wrap my head around it - he was such a nice guy.



  17. #37
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    Jul. 24, 2008
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    Quote Originally Posted by shayaalliard View Post
    I went on a date with a guy once-he was later convicted of molesting his 3 year old. When the charges were brought his wife burned their two children to death in their home to prevent them from testifying against him. I still feel sick thinking about having touched him...
    Yikes. Maybe the crazy wife made it all up? Women can be so vindictive and just.... crazy!

    It is sad about the men who are labeled as sex offenders for life when we are talking about consensual sex with someone fairly close in age.
    Jigga:
    Why must you chastise my brilliant idea with facts and logic? **picks up toys (and wine) and goes home**



  18. #38
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    Jan. 4, 2007
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    TX
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    In the 1980's, when the news started talking about pedophiles, it started with a kindergarten child molester/s in CA, that made national news, before such topic was taboo, there seem to be a witch hunt going on after that.

    I knew a fellow doing some contract work here, from a town way South, that was going thru a divorce and they were fighting about who gets control of their ten year old girl.

    Well, according to him and that is his side of the story, his wife asked him to come to the girl's birthday pool party at their house.
    After that, the police came after him, his wife had reported him as a child molester!
    Supposedly happen with a kids's friend in the pool house, where he did admit he was working on something there and the kid appeared, talked to him a bit and left, but he insist nothing else happened.

    The case went to trial and his attorney told him that, with the media frenzy about the CA case, he didn't think he would get him out.
    No one ever could find anyone else that ever said he had molested any kids, but he went to jail for two years.
    He was on suicide watch all that time, utterly ashamed of being accused and insisting he didn't and never had any inappropriate contact with any kid.

    That was his story, will never know if he was a pedophile or not, don't know where he went after that, or if he is still alive.

    While I think we should "hang", meaning put away for good anyone molesting kids or any other such assault on others, rape, etc., I would wait to see what comes out of your friend's trial, before assuming he did what he is accused of.



  19. #39
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    Oct. 25, 2010
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    A kid I was neighbors with growing up is permanently labeled as a sex offender for getting caught peeing by the side of the road in the weeds. He had no car and was walking home from work and well, had to go. I think the registration is great in some aspects but in others I think it crosses a line. His rap sheet will forever read indecent exposure.



  20. #40
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    Jan. 4, 2007
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    Quote Originally Posted by TwoBrooksFarm View Post
    A kid I was neighbors with growing up is permanently labeled as a sex offender for getting caught peeing by the side of the road in the weeds. He had no car and was walking home from work and well, had to go. I think the registration is great in some aspects but in others I think it crosses a line. His rap sheet will forever read indecent exposure.
    Does that apply to women too?
    If you just got to go and squat behind a bush, that is not as out of sight as you thought, will you too be considered mooning the public and charged with indecent exposure?



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