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  1. #1
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    Aug. 12, 2002
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    Default I found out an old friend is a child molester.



    I haven't seen him in over 20 years but I knew him to be a really good musician and a really nice guy. Geeze, this really sucks. I really don't know why it bothers me so much since I haven't kept in contact with him, but a CHILD molester? Crap. I thought he was a good guy.



  2. #2
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    Feb. 28, 2006
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    It happens.

    I do know someone who was over 21 and had consensual relations with an underage, but being underage . . . Now he could be called a child molester and he has to register as a sex offender. Was what he did OK? Absolutely not, but it colors how I think about the label. Bad, good, can't say.

    Stupid decision, definitely.
    Courageous Weenie Eventer Wannabe
    Incredible Invisible


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  3. #3
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    Mar. 30, 2007
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    I went to school with a guy named Doug who was in band and crew and is now a registered sex offender. Everyone said he was an awesome guy, from a stand-up family, and fun to be around but he went and tried to pick up middle school-aged sex partners through online teen chats.
    SPACE FOR RENT



  4. #4
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    Oct. 16, 2008
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    Central Oklahoma
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    Default

    How old was the "child", and was it really a "one-sided" story? Some hormonal raging teenage girls are real evil doers, just saying. I myself wouldn't discount a friend just because he is labeled by law as such solely based on an arbitrary number as to when a female is mature enough to consent .



  5. #5
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    The guy I knew was accused (and convicted) at 39 of molesting multiple 11-12 year old girls. Ugh.



  6. #6
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    Oct. 16, 2008
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    Central Oklahoma
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    Yike. Some dudes are really sick. I was thinking of a friend of my husband's, who is convicted and labeled a child molester when he had consensual sex with his sixteen years old girl friend. Twenty five years later you can still find his name on the list of sex offenders. He was eighteen.



  7. #7
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    Jul. 24, 2008
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    Sometimes a guy that's 21 or 22 uses really bad judgement and hooks up with a 17-year-old. Not sure that should he should be considered a child molester if it was consensual. You are correct, there are some pretty mature 16-17 year olds out there.

    However, a guy in his late 20s or 30s, that knows how old the girls are, have absolutely no excuse. They most definitely are child molesters.


    2 members found this post helpful.

  8. #8
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    Dec. 29, 2007
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    VA
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    My idiot brother's best friend from high school spent time in prison for child molestation - was a young girl under 10 over a period of years, so the "real deal" if you will. This is a small town, he's been out for awhile, and everyone acts as though he did nothing wrong. Still the idiot brother's best friend.



  9. #9
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    Nov. 2, 2001
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    the unintended fallout of well meaning laws.

    However, being the stand up guy, the likeable chum, etc, perfect covers to do these vile things.

    I think there is the difference between the young guy and his girl, and somebody getting his jollies (or hers, don't forget women do it, too!) with preteen children!
    Quote Originally Posted by Mozart View Post
    Personally, I think the moderate use of shock collars in training humans should be allowed.



  10. #10
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    Jan. 31, 2003
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    Quote Originally Posted by alabama View Post
    The guy I knew was accused (and convicted) at 39 of molesting multiple 11-12 year old girls. Ugh.
    Oh yuck, I am really sorry. You must want to scrub your brain clean right now.

    This is one issue I am afraid I have a hard time being reasonable about. One of my friends always cautions me to try to remember that most molesters have been themselves, molested. But I just want to kill them so they cannot do it again. I am a Mommy.
    "Kindness is free" ~ Eurofoal
    ---
    The CoTH CYA - please consult w/your veterinarian under any and all circumstances.


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  11. #11
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    Oct. 21, 2003
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gainer View Post
    Sometimes a guy that's 21 or 22 uses really bad judgement and hooks up with a 17-year-old. Not sure that should he should be considered a child molester if it was consensual. You are correct, there are some pretty mature 16-17 year olds out there.

    However, a guy in his late 20s or 30s, that knows how old the girls are, have absolutely no excuse. They most definitely are child molesters.
    I dated a guy in his early 30s when I was 17, he was most definitely not a child molester!!



  12. #12
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    Oct. 2, 2012
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    Quote Originally Posted by Perfect Pony View Post
    I dated a guy in his early 30s when I was 17, he was most definitely not a child molester!!
    When I was 15, 16, 17, I pursued relationships with older guys, in their early to mid twenties.

    Did anyone read the New Yorker article about Sandusky? It's truly a sickness or form of blindness. He truly believes he was doing good taking those troubled kids under his wing.

    If you were never around the guy when he was with children, you may never have seen the signs.
    A helmet saved my life.

    2014 goal: learn to ride like TheHorseProblem, er, a barn rat!



  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gainer View Post
    Sometimes a guy that's 21 or 22 uses really bad judgement and hooks up with a 17-year-old. Not sure that should he should be considered a child molester if it was consensual. You are correct, there are some pretty mature 16-17 year olds out there.

    However, a guy in his late 20s or 30s, that knows how old the girls are, have absolutely no excuse. They most definitely are child molesters.
    I don't think the law's intention was to legislate morality (well, maybe it was....)
    but it certainly is not the matter of the problem.

    39 cases is hardly a vicious teen....that is a serial rapist!
    Like I said, I have been told that part of the MO IS being the likable guy, pillar of the community and all of that. It is a scary thought!
    Quote Originally Posted by Mozart View Post
    Personally, I think the moderate use of shock collars in training humans should be allowed.



  14. #14
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    Jul. 13, 2008
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    Northern CA
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    Quote Originally Posted by Alagirl View Post
    39 cases is hardly a vicious teen....that is a serial rapist!
    Like I said, I have been told that part of the MO IS being the likable guy, pillar of the community and all of that. It is a scary thought!
    I think she meant that the guy was 39


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  15. #15
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    Jun. 24, 2006
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    A guy I was friendly with in HS just looked me up on FB... apparently he was in the army but got court martialed for a sexual crime. Not sure what it was, I didn't ask him, but pretty shocking. I couldn't imagine how taken aback I would be if I knew it was a heinous crime like the OP.



  16. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by Belair View Post
    I think she meant that the guy was 39
    Right,
    but still he had multiple convictions.
    that means more than one, not counting those who didn't come forward.
    Quote Originally Posted by Mozart View Post
    Personally, I think the moderate use of shock collars in training humans should be allowed.



  17. #17
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    Sep. 26, 2010
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    There are a lot of people that definitely deserve to be labeled as sex offenders and be on mandatory lifetime registration. Some should be locked up permanently as in Sandusky's case.

    At the same time, there have been cases where people have been required to register for things that I think are really unfortunate. I recall reading an article within the last year or so where a teenage boy (maybe 14 or 15) was required to register as a sex offender because he and a teenage girl were sexting naked photos of themselves to each other. Teenagers do silly and stupid things sometimes. It's really awful that he has to have that label for doing something silly when a proverbial hand-slap would have been more appropriate since apparently it didn't go any further. I could see registration (or a jail sentence) required if it were an adult and a minor, but two teenagers?


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  18. #18
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    Aug. 12, 2002
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    Default

    Sorry, the guy was 39 years old. He did/does, however, have multi convictions. Not only that, but he could have gone in business with his family but decided to take a job that put him in daily contact with young children.

    I know I'm being vague but I really just wanted to express how this made me feel icky and wonder about my judgement. It was a long time ago that I was in contact with him. I guess you just never know about people. He seemed so normal.



  19. #19
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    Jun. 25, 2004
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    Carolinas
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by SnicklefritzG View Post
    There are a lot of people that definitely deserve to be labeled as sex offenders and be on mandatory lifetime registration. Some should be locked up permanently as in Sandusky's case.

    At the same time, there have been cases where people have been required to register for things that I think are really unfortunate. I recall reading an article within the last year or so where a teenage boy (maybe 14 or 15) was required to register as a sex offender because he and a teenage girl were sexting naked photos of themselves to each other. Teenagers do silly and stupid things sometimes. It's really awful that he has to have that label for doing something silly when a proverbial hand-slap would have been more appropriate since apparently it didn't go any further. I could see registration (or a jail sentence) required if it were an adult and a minor, but two teenagers?
    Totally agree - what is done between two teens within 1-2 years of each other is IMO experimentation and/or consenual. What is done between an "of age"(18-21) individual and an "underage"(<16) individual is borderline. When one individual is over over 21 and the other is <17, then we have problems. Agreed some females look older, dress older and go for the older guys. But.... I have a great-niece who at 13 had the body we all want. I saw how the guys looked at her and they.did.not.care.how.old.she.was. I was doing a lot of ugly faces at the guys to convince them they didn't want to go there.
    Not a fun subject and it happens more often than any of us want to think about.
    "Never do anything that you have to explain twice to the paramedics."
    Courtesy my cousin Tim


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  20. #20
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    Jun. 24, 2005
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    Alabama
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    Pedophiles are very clever, and hide what they are very well. It doesn't mean you were a bad judge of character, and there's nothing wrong with your judgment. They are very good at hiding what they are, and getting away with it for years. That's exactly how the Sanduskys of the world, and all of the predators in the Boy Scout files got away with it for so long, and they are very practiced at deceiving the world.

    It's awful to find out something like that about someone.
    You can't fix stupid-Ron White


    4 members found this post helpful.

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