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  1. #1

    Default You might have inspired me - now help me please - Match.com

    So all the various threads on Off-Topic Day have pushed me to finally signing up for Match.com. I really don't expect to find the great love of my life there, but I do need to meet some new people. Unfortunately, I have a very limited social circle. I work 1 1/2 jobs, have a very active 14 year old who rides and between work and taking her to and from the barn and her showing schedule AND all my friends are married and have their own families.... I am not having too much luck meeting new people. Sooooo, I did it and made a very brief profile.

    Please help me with all I need to know about it. How do you meet/talk with people thru there and what are the proper protocols? I can't admit to anyone that I know that I have actually signed up for it so please give me the "Match.com for dummies" course.



  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar. 30, 2007
    Location
    Hollowed out volcano in the South Pacific.
    Posts
    11,630

    Default

    1, Don't reveal too much about yourself in your username or profile. A lot of people use the same username on most websites where such things are needed to use them and it makes you easier to find for anyone who has dark designs and you don't want that since you have a child to protect. Don't have anything in your profile that identifies where you work or who you are.

    2. Focus on telling viewers about yourself and what you think would compliment you in a partner. The worst thing you can do is rattle off a list saying "I want blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, and I'm a wonderful person who deserves blah blah, mmmkay?". Make a mention of your hobbies and interests and things you want to share with a partner. Also, put any expectations down on paper but try not to sound like a pain in the ass because a lot of people get driven away or turned off by what others demand in their profiles.

    3. Use up-to-date pictures that show what kind of person you are and what you bring to the table in terms of sharing your life with someone else. If you like being outdoors and active, use pictures that accurately portray things like that and give a sense of what makes you who you are.

    4. Don't meet in a bar and keep your first meetings casual and lite before you commit to anything date-like.

    That's all I got off the top of my head. I need to reflect further on my own experiences to say more.
    Thus do we growl that our big toes have, at this moment, been thrown up from below!


    1 members found this post helpful.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Sep. 16, 1999
    Location
    Ohio: Charter Member - COTH Hockey Clique & COTH Buffy Clique
    Posts
    9,143

    Default

    Good luck. I have no tips as I spent 3 months on Match... emailed or winked at many guys (over a dozen of each). Received a couple winks (and when I clicked on their profiles they were "unavailable"), and a grand total of 2 emails... neither of which I had winked at or emailed... and neither of which were located anywhere near me! I'm in western Ohio and the emails were from Pennsylvania and Texas! Horrible experience. Hope yours is better.
    ************
    "Of course it's hard. It's supposed to be hard. It's the Hard that makes it great."

    "Get up... Get out... Get Drunk. Repeat as needed." -- Spike



  4. #4
    Join Date
    Dec. 27, 2012
    Posts
    2

    Default

    Thanks Lex. That is the only site of that type that I have joined. My username there is totally unique from ANY other internet site that I use. My profile is very brief - probably too brief but I am a bit paranoid about giving out any info about myself. I really haven't gotten to the expectations part yet..... My two (yes, only two) pictures are completely generic and also include no identifying info about myself. As far as other pictures - I realized that I have none. Really. None on my phone, none on my camera and the only pictures on my facebook are show pics of DD. Pictures of me just don't exist..... Hmmmm.
    Haven't gotten to the actual meeting part of it yet, but will keep those things in mind.

    What do I do if I see someone's profile that I may be interested in?

    tle - Thanks, I think. I will see what happens and try it for a brief time. Good luck to you too.



  5. #5
    Join Date
    Sep. 7, 2009
    Location
    Lexington, KY
    Posts
    19,415

    Default

    My daughter met her SO on Match.com. Just be careful about giving out personal info and email addresses, phone numbers in the beginning. Meet in a public place...she had dates at the races, miniature golf, dinner, movies, etc.

    And you're really going to need a photo or two.
    "We can judge the heart of a man by his treatment of animals." ~Immanuel Kant



  6. #6
    Join Date
    Feb. 20, 2011
    Location
    Dutchess county, NY
    Posts
    922

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by MatchmyAlter View Post
    Thanks Lex. That is the only site of that type that I have joined. My username there is totally unique from ANY other internet site that I use. My profile is very brief - probably too brief but I am a bit paranoid about giving out any info about myself. I really haven't gotten to the expectations part yet..... My two (yes, only two) pictures are completely generic and also include no identifying info about myself. As far as other pictures - I realized that I have none. Really. None on my phone, none on my camera and the only pictures on my facebook are show pics of DD. Pictures of me just don't exist..... Hmmmm.
    Haven't gotten to the actual meeting part of it yet, but will keep those things in mind.

    What do I do if I see someone's profile that I may be interested in?

    tle - Thanks, I think. I will see what happens and try it for a brief time. Good luck to you too.
    Email them - don't wink, a lot of people will not respond to a wink. Keep the email brief and I'm completely honest. "I saw your profile and you sound great!"

    You won't get a response from every email you send - don't be upset about it.



  7. #7
    Join Date
    Mar. 30, 2007
    Location
    Hollowed out volcano in the South Pacific.
    Posts
    11,630

    Default

    If you do send an e-mail, make it something worth reading and replying to by putting some effort into it. 99.9% of the stuff I get is "Hi!" "Hey, hope you are doing well. Hit me back if you're interested." "Your dog is so cute!" "Just wanted to say hi. Hit me back if you wanna chat!" "Nice photos!", inane commentary from those who aren't what I'm looking for about what I put in my profile, or the occasional really weird stuff.
    Thus do we growl that our big toes have, at this moment, been thrown up from below!



  8. #8
    Join Date
    Aug. 1, 2007
    Location
    West Palm Beach, FL
    Posts
    4,465

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by LexInVA View Post
    If you do send an e-mail, make it something worth reading and replying to by putting some effort into it. 99.9% of the stuff I get is "Hi!" "Hey, hope you are doing well. Hit me back if you're interested." "Your dog is so cute!" "Just wanted to say hi. Hit me back if you wanna chat!" "Nice photos!", inane commentary from those who aren't what I'm looking for about what I put in my profile, or the occasional really weird stuff.
    Ugh. All of those and "Want to chat?" Give me a reason to WANT to chat with you, ok buddy? And put your shirt back on and straighten your hat.

    Creeps.
    People call themselves animal lovers, then let their dogs chase the squirrels. You're scaring the shit out of the squirrels, you schmuck!


    3 members found this post helpful.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    May. 7, 2009
    Posts
    45

    Default I had a great time on Match

    I went on a lot of interesting dates and met my hubby on there! I have to say I have heard a lot of girls say they never had much luck, I think the major thing is you profile. Read through some of the girls/ladies profile and see how many say stuff like "I like the movies, walks on the beach, animals...blah blah blah.." no guy worth meeting is going to care IMHO. I made sure mine was really "me", funny, outgoing and different. I went on a date or two a week and met some really great quality guys (and finally of course my wonderful husband!). Have fun with it, be careful and don't have huge expectations of each date, that way it's a win win (you will meet fun, different people you wouldn't have ever had the chance to meet otherwise!)



  10. #10
    Join Date
    Aug. 1, 2007
    Location
    West Palm Beach, FL
    Posts
    4,465

    Default

    Oh! Oh!

    For some reason, I used to also get a lot of men sending me "U R relly beutiful I am looking to find a wife do u want to meet and discuss possibly getting married?"

    No.
    People call themselves animal lovers, then let their dogs chase the squirrels. You're scaring the shit out of the squirrels, you schmuck!


    2 members found this post helpful.

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Sep. 16, 1999
    Location
    Ohio: Charter Member - COTH Hockey Clique & COTH Buffy Clique
    Posts
    9,143

    Default

    I really do wish you luck. Match just didn't work out for me I guess. Let me tell you, getting back into dating, what happened there has done NOTHING for my self-confidence. I certainly wouldn't have had (and didn't) huge expectations... but having a conversation and possibly a date or 2 were things that I did think would happen, and they didn't. It was really disappointing and a bit damaging. Life goes on and all, just makes me wonder.
    ************
    "Of course it's hard. It's supposed to be hard. It's the Hard that makes it great."

    "Get up... Get out... Get Drunk. Repeat as needed." -- Spike



  12. #12
    Join Date
    Jun. 14, 2006
    Location
    VA
    Posts
    11,372

    Default

    As far as writing a profile, be honest about who you are and what you want.

    When it comes to communication, I feel like it's a waste of time to do a lot of emailing back and forth. If there's no spark when you meet, there's no spark. Lots of great people out there, but there also needs to be a spark. AND some people post pics and profiles that are totally NOT current or accurate.

    So, what I would do is find a few people I was interested in based on profiles and a brief chat. Then meet for say, lunch. Coffee. Something short and sweet. I'd have 3-4 dates in a week, maybe 1 or 2 would go to a second "date". Then go from there rather than being a "serial monogamist"

    Usually after 2 or 3 meetings you know if it's something you want to pursue or not.

    There is nothing wrong with going on several first dates in a week. Or dating multiple people at the same time as long as you are honest about it (if that works for you)
    A good horseman doesn't have to tell anyone...the horse already knows.

    Might be a reason, never an excuse...



  13. #13
    Join Date
    Feb. 24, 1999
    Location
    MD
    Posts
    3,480

    Default

    Good luck! I met my DH on Match.

    I wasn't much for lots of emailing/chatting before meeting in person. A few intro emails, maybe an online chat but then after that lets meet in person and then see if this thing has legs.

    If you do make plans to meet someone in person, obviously do it in a very public place and make sure you know the area and can get yourself there (and home). I always told a girlfriend what I was wearing, where I was going, when I was meeting him, and what his screen name was when I went out with a guy. Then I always emailed her when I got home. I figured that if he turned into a creeper that wanted to make my bones into windchimes, she'd have a decent amount of info to tell the police.

    Be kind of bold about the whole process. If you see a guy you're interested in, wink at them or send them a message. Worst thing that happens is they ignore you. It's a superficial process, since you are pretty much judging a book by its cover, but the guys are doing the same thing so just roll with it.
    I went into it with the attitude that at worse, a date was going get me an evening of entertainment (and maybe food) and some interesting party stories to tell after the fact. At best, I was going to meet someone I wanted to keep around.



  14. #14
    Join Date
    Sep. 14, 2002
    Location
    Azle, Teh-has
    Posts
    7,803

    Default

    thus far I have liked OKCupid the best. plus it's free. Seems that it's all the same people on all of those sites. I paid for EHarmony (an entire year upfront) and chat with a single person. Biggest waste of money.

    I like to window shop. : )

    I've been on these sites for over a decade now. I did meet a keeper about 7 years ago. Ended up engaged for 2 months and ended it for no reasons having to do with an online hook up.

    So I think the sites can def bring people together. : )
    http://kaboomeventing.com/
    http://kaboomeventing.blogspot.com/
    Horses are amazing athletes and make no mistake -- they are the stars of the show!



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