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  1. #21
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    Nov. 25, 2004
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    Quote Originally Posted by mroades View Post
    Its better than when they say "just one?" which is what I get ALL THE TIME!
    My sister and I have a weekly Sunday breakfast together at a local cafe, but when she is out of town, I enjoy getting there early (around 8am to avoid the church rush) and enjoying a meal by myself. The servers are always great, but I swear sometimes I get these looks, normally from older parties, that are almost pitying.

    People, I LIKE eating by myself on the occasion. - I can linger with my coffee, eat at my own pace, and read my Kindle Fire without having to make conversation. Maybe that makes me a curmudgeon, but oh well
    Lucy (Precious Star) - 1994 TB mare; happily reunited with her colt Touch the Stars


    3 members found this post helpful.

  2. #22
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    Mar. 12, 2006
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    [QUOTE=Crackerdog;6742058]It seems a little silly to get wound up over someone just doing their job. I am always polite to the wait staff when we go out to eat and I always tell them the size of the party when they greet us.]


    I am polite to the staff and many times you are in a line so the opportunity to "march right up and state the number in your party" isn't there.

    I think it is appropriate to be mindful of how a word can change the tone of your question. Putting the word "just" in is not necessary, simply ask "Two for dinner" or "How many in your party?"
    "All top hat and no canter". *Graureiter*



  3. #23
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    Mar. 5, 2007
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    5 members found this post helpful.

  4. #24
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    Jul. 5, 2007
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gestalt View Post
    ...many times you are in a line so the opportunity to "march right up and state the number in your party" isn't there.
    Are they sneaking up on you?
    Well, then I can understand your irritation.


    6 members found this post helpful.

  5. #25
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    Jan. 10, 2002
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    Quote Originally Posted by axl View Post
    Heavens sake, they AREN'T making assumptions, they're asking. They aren't judging you, they quite frankly aren't interested in whether you have another person in your life, they just want to know if everyone has arrived and how large a table you will need.
    Well, you really can't speak for everyone, can you? I guess you've never experienced the little sad smile and look of pathos when asked, "Just the two of you?" It's unnecessary. As I said, "How many?" is a better way to ask.
    Founding member of the "I Miss bar.ka" clique
    Founding member of the "I Miss Pocket Trainer" clique



  6. #26
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    Jun. 25, 2004
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    Carolinas
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    I waited tables for my Dad for years in a short-order restaurant. We learned early on to keep an eye on the customers. Observe from a distance in case they needed more drink or condiments or etc., allow them to eat in peace and only offer to remove plates or ask about dessert once they had eaten their food.
    My complaints are about the people who don't understand their job or don't really care.

    And yeah - it is a petty 1st world problem. However we are fortunate to live in a 1st world country.
    "Never do anything that you have to explain twice to the paramedics."
    Courtesy my cousin Tim


    1 members found this post helpful.

  7. #27
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    Sep. 19, 2008
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    Quote Originally Posted by SillyHorse View Post
    Well, you really can't speak for everyone, can you? I guess you've never experienced the little sad smile and look of pathos when asked, "Just the two of you?" It's unnecessary. As I said, "How many?" is a better way to ask.
    Well, I think you're being silly. If you were alone, maybe this would make sense. People do tend to give sad looks to me when I dine alone (not that I worry about it!) but why would someone feel sorry for a couple dining together? They're more likely to be wishing they were going out to a nice dinner with their SO than thinking you two don't have any friends.

    I certainly can't speak for everyone. I believe the odds that you're misinterpreting a wistful look as someone sorry for you because you and your SO are dining together without friends are about 99 million to 1.
    Holy crap, how does Darwin keep missing you? ~Lauruffian


    4 members found this post helpful.

  8. #28
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    Oct. 23, 2004
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    Sisters, Oregon
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    A bit of a hijack, but....

    I don't like it when the waitstaff goes to clear my plate and puts the dirty silver on the table to be used for the next course.
    Kanoe Godby
    www.dyrkgodby.com
    See, I was raised by wolves and am really behind the 8-ball on diplomatic issue resolution.


    1 members found this post helpful.

  9. #29
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    Jan. 25, 2009
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    My biggest pet peeve is when a server asks me if I want change back. When I waited tables and trained servers, I always asked (and insisted my trainees) say "I'll be right back with your change". That way, they could offer to let me keep it if that was their wish, but no assumptions were made.
    A proud friend of bar.ka.


    2 members found this post helpful.

  10. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by axl View Post
    Well, I think you're being silly. If you were alone, maybe this would make sense. People do tend to give sad looks to me when I dine alone (not that I worry about it!) but why would someone feel sorry for a couple dining together? They're more likely to be wishing they were going out to a nice dinner with their SO than thinking you two don't have any friends.

    I certainly can't speak for everyone. I believe the odds that you're misinterpreting a wistful look as someone sorry for you because you and your SO are dining together without friends are about 99 million to 1.
    Now see, you're the one making assumptions, and you've made quite an incorrect assumption, that I see and hear this when I'm out with my SO. WRONG. It has happened more than once when I've gone out to eat with a woman friend. It is offputting.
    Founding member of the "I Miss bar.ka" clique
    Founding member of the "I Miss Pocket Trainer" clique



  11. #31
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    Feb. 8, 2004
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    How many of you bitching have ever worked a service position like waitressing?

    Honestly, anyone who's worked food service has a hell of a lot more compassion for the person on the receiving end of all the customer angst and anger, when someone doesn't kiss their ass the way they think it should be.

    I've been on the other side of the table and I'm always polite to the hostess, wait staff, and even the busboys. All y'all having the vapors and clutching your pearls over the way something's worded seriously need to take a chill pill.

    The world doesn't revolve around you and your precious feelings, and the only things the service people are worried about are trying to make your meal pleasant enough that you won't cause a scene and maybe leave a decent tip.
    Homeopathy claims water can cure you since it once held medicine. That's like saying you can get sustenance from an empty plate because it once held food.


    5 members found this post helpful.

  12. #32
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    Jan. 4, 2007
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    TX
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    Quote Originally Posted by mroades View Post
    Its better than when they say "just one?" which is what I get ALL THE TIME!
    To that, I respond "my and my shadow".

    Warning, not all working in restaurants have a sense of humor.

    Yes, people no matter where you encounter them deserve being treated with courtesy, no matter how they present themselves.
    Some are real grumps, at least at times, just like everyone else.



  13. #33
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    Dec. 11, 2005
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    Southern California - Hemet
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    When I eat out, I am almost always alone and usually tell whoever's seating me that it is just me before they can even ask. Most of the time I bring a book with me to read while I eat, so if they do wind up asking if it's "oh, just you?" with that "you poor thing" inflection, I cheerfully reply that I have a good book to keep me company.

    Probably the most outrageous thing that happened when I was eating breakfast alone was several young women from another table came over and asked me to come sit with them because "oh, you just look so lonely over there, no one should have to eat alone." Frankly, I was just fine by myself and declined. I'm sure their intentions were good-hearted, but the way they expressed it was pitying and kind of condescending. As an introvert, I would have been far more uncomfortable eating with a bunch of strangers who took me on as a pity case than eating by myself even if I had felt lonely that day. Being alone in public does not necessarily imply loneliness.



  14. #34
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    Oct. 16, 2008
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    Wow, you guys really look that much into what a waiter or waitress say or look? I dine alone a lot, and that bothers me not a bit - it is rather liberating, really, to be able to enjoy a book quietly by yourself, not having to try to entertain your companion. I only hear, "... One...?", or ".... two...?" you know, the number part, and skip everything else they say all together, and my answer to the question is always, "yeah, just one," or, "yeah, just two, or three, or whatever."

    I don't see any sad smile or any thing else; and to be honest, for the most part, I think they are way too busy thinking about themselves to think about you.

    At those restaurants where my husband and I frequent and where we know the waiter/waitress by first names, when I show up alone, the inevitable question is, "Just you, ma'am?" and my inevitable answer is, "YES," with happy grin, which is always received with a matching smile. Now I love my husband and we have tons of fun enjoying a meal together, but, sometimes, just sometimes, it is really fun to be alone.


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  15. #35
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    Jan. 4, 2007
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    TX
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    Quote Originally Posted by fooler View Post
    I waited tables for my Dad for years in a short-order restaurant. We learned early on to keep an eye on the customers. Observe from a distance in case they needed more drink or condiments or etc., allow them to eat in peace and only offer to remove plates or ask about dessert once they had eaten their food.
    My complaints are about the people who don't understand their job or don't really care.

    And yeah - it is a petty 1st world problem. However we are fortunate to live in a 1st world country.
    I have had to protect my plate from overzealous waitresses wanting to clear the tables asap, even in empty restaurants.

    Still, I can say that practically 100% of the time, everyone I have known have been wonderful at their job.
    Maybe that is why those rare exceptions stand out?



  16. #36
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    Sep. 19, 2008
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    Oh, in that case SillyHorse of course they pitied you. There's nothing sadder than 2 friends having an evening out

    I'm with arabhorse2. Everyone should have to wait tables for a week.

    So sorry if I thoughtlessly offended anyone with my poor word choice in the middle of my shift.
    Holy crap, how does Darwin keep missing you? ~Lauruffian



  17. #37
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    Sep. 20, 2009
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    Reminds me of when I was meeting a friend who had yet to arrive at a restaurant, I was the only person in the waiting area and the hostess asked "just one?" so I said "no, this is for 2" she looks around, gives me a look, and says "well, you two follow me right this way..." and on the way to the table asked, "how are we doing today?"


    2 members found this post helpful.

  18. #38
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    Feb. 8, 2004
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    Rolling hills of Virginny
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    How many of you bitching have ever worked a service position like waitressing?

    Honestly, anyone who's worked food service has a hell of a lot more compassion for the person on the receiving end of all the customer angst and anger, when someone doesn't kiss their ass the way they think it should be.

    I've been on the other side of the table and I'm always polite to the hostess, wait staff, and even the busboys. All y'all having the vapors and clutching your pearls over the way something's worded seriously need to take a chill pill.

    The world doesn't revolve around you and your precious feelings or the semantics of spoken words, and the only things the service people are worried about are trying to make your meal pleasant enough that you won't cause a scene and maybe leave a decent tip.
    Homeopathy claims water can cure you since it once held medicine. That's like saying you can get sustenance from an empty plate because it once held food.


    1 members found this post helpful.

  19. #39
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    Apr. 18, 2010
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    Aubrey, Texas
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    THAT is really offensive to some people? Cripes.

    I used to work as a hostess, prior to college - some 10 years ago. In my experience, we never said a word about any of our guests (that POOR, single couple!) aside from those who were terribly rude.

    I'm sure it's just their way of asking if your party is complete, and no one thought it could in any way be interpreted as offensive. When I was a hostess, my biggest complaint was diners who didn't give me all the details up front - especially on busy shifts. You'd be amazed at how many people "suddenly" have a friend show up to their party, making it hell on rotations and space. Three people can not sit at a two top and I just sat the server who had the other four top open.

    There are so many other things to be offended about. I'm honestly shocked that someone would find enough of a gripe to post about it on the Internet with this one. Not saying you're wrong, your feelings are always valid, but I can almost guarantee you it is not the hostess being malicious.

    Speaking of crappy customers, though, I have to share this story from this past Saturday. I was at the AT&T store and a woman and her husband came barging in, demanding to speak with "Steve". The woman at the front informed them that Steve was the manager and he wasn't scheduled in that day. The woman replied that she had just come from another store, that they had called ahead to reserve the last iPhone4 and Steve had it and how dare she lie to her! The hostess said she could try to call Steve, but it would be just a moment as a line was forming behind this couple and she needed to get them checked in, but shed help get to the root of their problem. The woman called the other store, and loudly went on and on about how this "lady" said Steve wasn't there and was lying to her! She put the hostess on the line, talked about how "pissed" she was and how incompetent everyone was. Ended up, the previous store had called the wrong location. The other location was holding the phone for her. The wife and husband stormed out to the other store. No apology was provided. I apologized to the hostess FOR the lady, she should have been hugely embarrassed.

    Long story short, the ridiculous things people put wait staff/customer service reps/etc is over the top. Most of the time, if you're being respectful, they'll accommodate you as best possible. And if something offends you THAT much, perhaps think of a polite way to address it ("when you say 'just' it makes it seem like date night is a bad thing!") so that the hostess can be made aware of the possible interpretation.
    Veni vidi vici. With a paint pony, nonetheless.



  20. #40
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    Jul. 5, 2007
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bluey View Post
    To that, I respond "my and my shadow".
    I can one-up you Bluey. Try this one:

    "Just me and my imaginary friend Ralph. He thinks you're cute BTW"


    2 members found this post helpful.

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