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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar. 12, 2006
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    Default "Just the two of you?"

    For some reason this question annoys me. I'm sure waitresses have said this for ages, but I only recently noticed it and now I find myself gritting my teeth when they say it!

    Why can't they simply ask "Two for dinner tonight?" When they add 'just' it's like I should have invited several more people. Trivial, I know, but it bugs me.
    "All top hat and no canter". *Graureiter*


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  2. #2
    Join Date
    Dec. 4, 2005
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    washington state
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    Default

    Or, when you hand you debit card over, they ask "Will you be using this as a debit today?"

    Why add the today? Are we perhaps jumping ahead to tomorrow without proper notification??
    The Knotted Pony

    Proud and upstanding member of the Snort and Blow Clique.


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  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jan. 28, 2003
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    Hollywood, but not the one where they have the Oscars!
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    Its better than when they say "just one?" which is what I get ALL THE TIME!
    "You can't really debate with someone who has a prescient invisible friend"
    carolprudm


    6 members found this post helpful.

  4. #4
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    Mar. 12, 2006
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by twotrudoc View Post
    Or, when you hand you debit card over, they ask "Will you be using this as a debit today?"

    Why add the today? Are we perhaps jumping ahead to tomorrow without proper notification??
    Oh thanks, now I'll notice this also and grit my teeth. I'm going to need to see the dentist sooner. Or else drink more wine!
    "All top hat and no canter". *Graureiter*



  5. #5
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    Nov. 2, 2006
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    Maine
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Gestalt View Post
    For some reason this question annoys me. I'm sure waitresses have said this for ages, but I only recently noticed it and now I find myself gritting my teeth when they say it!

    Why can't they simply ask "Two for dinner tonight?" When they add 'just' it's like I should have invited several more people. Trivial, I know, but it bugs me.
    I think it is their way of asking if you party is complete. Often one couple is meeting another couple for dinner.


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  6. #6
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    Jun. 10, 2001
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    Rising Sun, Maryland, USA
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    Default

    I've almost become immune to it... but in my case it's me and my son. As if you have to either go out in a family unit or with another woman or two and a gaggle of children. Ugh!!! One of these days I'm going to end up saying, "Yes, just the two of us, Daddy is in heaven and can't dine with us anymore." You would not imagine the number of things that people say when they just don't get it! It is also interesting how society has what they consider to be "the norm"... you never realize what it encompasses until you're 'not the norm.'
    http://www.leakycreek.com/
    http://leakycreek.wordpress.com/ Rainbows & Mourning Doves Blog
    John P. Smith II 1973-2009 Love Always
    Father, Husband, Friend, Firefighter- Cancer Sucks- Cure Melanoma



  7. #7
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    Feb. 26, 2011
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    Its not nowhere, but you can see it from here
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    Default

    I think they are just making sure your party is complete. I've had them ask will it just be the four of us before.

    One poor server made the unfortunate mistake of asking my divorced cousin and her two kids, my divorced mother and my sister and my self and daughter where all the men were. I thought it was in really bad taste. Madagascar had recently come out, so I looked up and said dead serious "We killed them and ate their livers" He slowly backed away.

    I also had a café owner once ask me who the father of my child was. He vaguely knew my aunt and uncle and we were all there eating. I told him there wasn't one. He said 'Oh, there had to be, even for 5 minutes" I told him if 5 minutes was all it took him, he had a real problem.
    I might need happy pills at some point. Or less stupid people
    From AliCat518 "Seriously, why would you NOT put fried chicken in your purse?!"


    10 members found this post helpful.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Mar. 6, 2002
    Location
    Oregon
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    5,676

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by rustbreeches View Post
    I also had a café owner once ask me who the father of my child was. He vaguely knew my aunt and uncle and we were all there eating. I told him there wasn't one. He said 'Oh, there had to be, even for 5 minutes" I told him if 5 minutes was all it took him, he had a real problem.
    I might need happy pills at some point. Or less stupid people
    What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what
    lies with in us. - Emerson



  9. #9
    Join Date
    Sep. 26, 2010
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    4,093

    Default

    I think there are a lot of people who mean well, but don't realize that what they are saying makes people feel awkward.

    @rust: your response to the server was awesome! I hope I can be as clever should I ever be put in such an awkward position.


    This reminds me of people getting congratulated on their pregnancy when they are not pregnant. Who says that kind of stuff? Happened to my sister recently (not to hijack the thread) but this woman at her office says "oh congrats on your pregnancy". My sister says some quick thing hoping the lady will drop the subject, but she doesn't. She then asks when the baby is due so my sister said "The baby was due 4 months ago", which was even more ridiculous considering my sister looks like a ballet dancer (very slender) and has noooo tummy!!!!


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  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jun. 9, 2012
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    386

    Default

    Some people just have no filters. It really surprises me how so many can say certain things (the assuming someone's pregnant is a big one) without realizing they are being rude, or it's not their place, etc.

    Makes me sooooo glad I think more than I talk! LOL! Means I have a very strong filter and don't just blurt out the thing I'm thinking or wondering.

    I work in retail, and what peeves me is people coming in and saying, "Oh, I heard you're closing" (Our shelves are pretty empty and it's *possible* we're closing...buutttt) and I'm just thinking, really? If we were closing, don't you think I would have heard that as well? We would be the first to know.
    Lately I get asked if we're closing from just about every single customer, and while I'm still polite with my answers, one must understand it's annoying to get that question 100+ times a day. Especially because we know nothing and corporate does a fabulous job at just leaving things until the last minute.


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  11. #11
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    Jul. 5, 2007
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    Beside Myself ~ Western NY
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    Default

    Gee I never have this problem. I just march right up to them and say "Hi, two please..." All they get time to say is "right this way"


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  12. #12
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    Jan. 10, 2002
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    Area VIII, Region 2, Zone 5.
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    Quote Originally Posted by SmartAlex View Post
    Gee I never have this problem. I just march right up to them and say "Hi, two please..." All they get time to say is "right this way"
    That's what I do. However, there is a better way than "Just the two of you?" to determine whether your party is complete. "How many?" gets the job done without making any assumptions.
    Quote Originally Posted by Linny View Post
    Those martingales were so taut, you could play Ode to Joy on them with a comb


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  13. #13
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    Aug. 12, 2010
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    Westford, Massachusetts
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    The wait staff standard that annoys me the most is "Are you still picking at that?", when they want to know if they can take my plate. I don't know why it bugs me, but it does...I do not pick at my food, I eat until I'm full, then I stop eating. It sounds like they are talking to a child. Just ask "Can I take your plate?", "Are you finished with that?", "Would you like me to wrap that up?", there are any number of ways to find out whether I'm done with the food or not that don't imply that I play with my food or have some issue with the food on my plate.



  14. #14
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    Jun. 25, 2004
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    Carolinas
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    Default

    I have resisted the temptation to say "we left my imaginary friends in the car tonight" just to see their reaction.

    Agree that trying to take my plate as soon as I put the fork down is irritating.
    Really irritating when they bring the main course, then return in 5 minutes to ask if we want dessert. I get tired of telling them to allow me to finish my meal, THEN I will think about dessert. UGH!
    "Never do anything that you have to explain twice to the paramedics."
    Courtesy my cousin Tim



  15. #15
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    Sep. 19, 2008
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    Half past the point of oblivion
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by SillyHorse View Post
    That's what I do. However, there is a better way than "Just the two of you?" to determine whether your party is complete. "How many?" gets the job done without making any assumptions.
    Heavens sake, they AREN'T making assumptions, they're asking. They aren't judging you, they quite frankly aren't interested in whether you have another person in your life, they just want to know if everyone has arrived and how large a table you will need.

    The 2 people rustbreeches mentioned need to be slapped. The rest of you need to relax. It's a pertinent question, not a commentary. And M.K. Smith, I'm sorry for your loss but I would be horrified if you said something to a server. You would make that poor person feel terrible when all s/he were doing was his/her job, which already requires putting up with a lot.

    I work in a crab restaurant and when I host I have to ask if people want dinner or crabs. I can't count the # of people who are irritated by that question, and all I want to do is put crab paper on the table before it's covered with drinks, apps, etc.

    Good grief.
    Holy crap, how does Darwin keep missing you? ~Lauruffian


    11 members found this post helpful.

  16. #16
    Join Date
    Jul. 19, 2007
    Location
    Michigan
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    10,326

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Marshfield View Post
    I think it is their way of asking if you party is complete. Often one couple is meeting another couple for dinner.
    This is it. A LOT of people with a larger party kind of straggle in over time. No point in sticking a two-top at a table set for six if it is just going to be the two of them.

    Also the servers and hosts/hostesses get into such a rote phrase they probably don't even think about it any more. I promise unless there's something really odd about your party they aren't making judgements or implying there's something wrong.


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  17. #17
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    Jul. 5, 2007
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    Beside Myself ~ Western NY
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    Quote Originally Posted by fooler View Post
    Agree that trying to take my plate as soon as I put the fork down is irritating.
    The proper knife and fork placement for signifying
    that one has not yet finished eating, and that
    it is not yet appropriate to clear the plate from the table


    The proper knife and fork placement for signifying
    that one has finished eating, and that it
    is now appropriate to clear the plate from the table


    I have yet to encounter a waiter who knew this. And no, I did not go to charm school. But they do publish books

    To be fair... when I was a waitress, I never met a diner who knew it either.


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  18. #18
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    Oct. 9, 2012
    Location
    Washington State
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    Default

    It seems a little silly to get wound up over someone just doing their job. I am always polite to the wait staff when we go out to eat and I always tell them the size of the party when they greet us. How else are they supposed to know?


    3 members found this post helpful.

  19. #19
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    Apr. 19, 2011
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    Madison, GA
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    Quote Originally Posted by SmartAlex View Post
    Lol, I thought I was the only person that did that anymore!

    I go to restaurants alone for lunch fairly often and get the "is it just you?" thing all the time... I like to sit and read my Kindle and it really irritates me when someone tries to talk to me the whole time because they assume I need someone to talk to because I'm alone.
    Southern Cross Guest Ranch
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  20. #20
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    Jul. 20, 2007
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    Rising Sun, MD
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    Default

    Good grief people- the host/ess isn't judging you- they are probably asking what they've been told to ask because they need to know how many are in your party. When I worked in food service, there were specific things were and were not allowed to say to customers and we were given certain phrases to use. When they say "just the two of you?" they aren't really saying- "hey loser couple, how come you don't have friends joining you?" They're saying "can I fit you in a two top or am I going to have to rearrange furniture for your vast following".
    “While the rest of the species is descended from apes, redheads are descended from cats.” Mark Twain


    2 members found this post helpful.

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