My mom had to move in with my sister due to the infirmities of old age, and I guess that is working out ok. But now, her house sits empty. Well, there is junk in it, and not clean for public view. But last night, I got to speaking to my 20 year old niece, the possibility of her moving in came up.
She is working as a photoghapher, and will soon know if the job is to be permanent. She has been living in her boyfriend's family home, with him in the basement, for about two years. Apparently, they recently told her they want $100 a month and she had a fit. Like a lot of 20 yr olds, she has no real money. She worked at a hamburger joint for years, so she is used to pocket money. My sister, her mother doesn't want her to do it. Maybe she knows how irresponsible she has been, and fears the apple won't fall far from the tree. We don't need much money, it is just mostly to get someone in the house, and pay utilities. Patty is afraid she won't pay, there will always be emergency problems-ancient car, etc. She was a monster as a child, but seems to be rounding into a decent person. She is VERY neat. She doesn't smoke cigarettes. And as far as I know, doesn't do drugs. No pets! But they do run in the family, we all have two....
If it woud help her, I would help her get organized, BEFORE she moves in. We are talking about maybe $250 a month.
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So she had no issues with sponging off someone for two years without paying, freaked over $100 rent, but you would expect her to be responsible paying 2 1/2 times that?
She may have improved from being a monsterous child, but, IMO, it sounds like she has a way to go toward being a responsible adult, and you would likely be better off not injecting yourself into that situation.
Plus utilities? No way. Even with relatives you should have lease contract,first amd last momth's rent and security deposit. Relatives can be negligent on timely payments or ANY payments because they're "relatives" and they jist expect you to cut them a lot of slack.
all those are indeed valid, but mom today said she would be in favor if she just pays utilities. I said no. [I am now POA for mom's finances btw, and sister for the medical stuff.] The Kid has been miserably spoiled, long story, her parents woul never be parents of the year. But I was thinking along the lines of helping her to become a grown up. She would NOT be allowed to move in until she had paid a deposit, and taken on utilities. I want her to learn to SAVE a bit of money which is hard to do in my family. Including me.
Patty is the one who said she freaked about the $100. She was probably thinking I got it free for 2 years and now I have to pay? Still terrible if true. But I would hold her to it, and that is what my sister is afraid of. I am no starry eyed dreamer. But I aske and this is pretty much what i expected.
The problem is, my sister hasn't worked for 4 years, and her hubby for over 10. So the kid comes by it by way of parents. Mom has been supporting sis since then to the tune of about $400 a month. My mom is a CLASSIC enabler, worse than cothers. So the kid isn't going to learn anything from them. Her boyfriend is working his first job at 20, and it is at said hamburger joint!
I would like her to GROW UP and I see no other way.
The reason I would like HER is I want no strangers! The house next door had renters twice, and the house had to be shoveled out. People are pigs. Especially when they rent. We have a vacant house. I insist she pay rent. I have a good friend that is a handy man, and we could pay him to fix stuff. I don't want to rent to a relative, but she is the best of a bad lot.
Last edited by Larksmom; Dec. 26, 2012 at 07:35 PM.
Sounds like she does not qualify as a good renter because she'd need a deposit, etc. as mentioned above. Does she know any qualified tenants, and could she be a roommate to someone who is more financially able to take on a house?
Think about who will handle maintenance, will the utilities be switched over to the new tenants, what about the cost of insurance if the property is vacant. In my experience, younger renters do better in an apartment instead of a house. Make sure you have a good written agreement, and screen any and all renters, including your relatives. I wouldn't have a problem renting to relatives if they met all of my requirements. In fact, my rental house is occupied by my son's best friend (who is like a second son to me) and a roommate, and they've been wonderful renters. They're in their mid-20's.
Sure, you could do it. Do not let her pay the utilities but instead have her pay rent equal to the cost of the utilities. Get from her first and last months rent and a security deposit. Have her sign an ironclad rental agreement and make sure that she understands that as soon as the rent falls behind by one day she will be evicted. You can hold the security and last months rent to give her to get her out when it goes off the rails. If she balks at the above then she 1) can not afford to live at your moms, 2) has no intention of paying once she is in there and is instead looking for her next free ride.
No. No. No. And regarding having a stranger rent it, well I understand but that is what screening and applications are for. I would rather have my rental house empty for six months than have crappy renters.
If she wasn't family, would you let her and her man move in?? No, no you would not. Just say no!
I just wanted to add, that my brother finally got rid of his renter that was actually one of his best friends growing up. The guy did major damage to my bros house that he had just finished top to bottom renos. On top of that he didn't pay rent, and had the house raided twice by police!! It was crazy!! So even tho this once was his good buddy, who was almost family to us he still screwed my brother big time!! Guess who's left cleaning up all the crap and bills? Not the ex-friend who's now in jail.
First, if you find she doesn't work out as a tenant, you run the risk of creating a permanent rift in the family. Second, it sounds like she's already got bad spending habits from her years of having a job without having corresponding adult expenses. Letting her move into a place better than most 20 year olds get, at below market rates, is simply going to reinforce the bad financial lessons she's already received. I assume eventually you'll need to sell the house to pay for nursing care or as part of wrapping up the estate. She'd probably have to move at that point anyhow. It's probably better for her to have financial reality bite her on the butt now than when she's 30. At least now she's still young enough to go back to college, has no pets, and has no kids.
My vote would be No as well. And as for having strangers rent, that is what interviews, references and house inspections are for. One of my best friends has a house inspection every month I think and it a "white glove" checking type thing. Tops of ceiling fans to groute in shower to the lawn being mowed. Pretty sue they get evicted if the house doesn't meet the standard.
I have renters. Great families, stable for the last several years. I am still stressed despite how good they are. I cannot imagine the stress in renting to someone who already has so many red flags. Yikes.
The thing that will help her become a "real responsibly adult" ius...moving into the real world like a real responsible adult, instead of remaining cosseted by her family. That includes getting to live on her own in a house with just paying utilities.
A real responsible adult making only very little money would realize that they may be able to afford only a room in a house with roommates, suck it up and deal, and try to find more hours or other jobs. This one is looking at having a rent-free house handed to her - how is that going to make her a responsible, self-reliant adult exactly?
Don't kid yourself, you're just as enabling if you do this.