The Chronicle of the Horse
MagazineNewsHorse SportsHorse CareCOTH StoreVoicesThe Chronicle UntackedMarketplaceDates & Results
 
Page 2 of 2 FirstFirst 12
Results 21 to 38 of 38
  1. #21
    Join Date
    Nov. 19, 2003
    Location
    New York
    Posts
    6,962

    Default

    Dear God...If this is the worst thing in your life you are incredibly lucky.

    Shrug your shoulders, blow it off and kill 'em with kindness.

    My entire immediate family is dead, including my daughter.
    After she died some oh so kind 3rd party sent e-mails detailing my husband cheating with my best friend.Divorce has already sucked up 3 years and ain't gonna happen any time soon.
    More news..he's been cheating on me for 35 years...oh freeking yay.

    I wake up in my beloved home of 35 years and wonder if he'll take that too.
    Now that's what I call Christmas drama...
    Get some perspective, please....
    *************************
    Go, Baby, Go......
    Aefvue Farms Footing Inspector


    2 members found this post helpful.

  2. #22
    Join Date
    Nov. 2, 2001
    Location
    In Trouble with Dad...
    Posts
    29,981

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Irish Ei's View Post
    Dear God...If this is the worst thing in your life you are incredibly lucky.

    Shrug your shoulders, blow it off and kill 'em with kindness.

    My entire immediate family is dead, including my daughter.
    After she died some oh so kind 3rd party sent e-mails detailing my husband cheating with my best friend.Divorce has already sucked up 3 years and ain't gonna happen any time soon.
    More news..he's been cheating on me for 35 years...oh freeking yay.

    I wake up in my beloved home of 35 years and wonder if he'll take that too.
    Now that's what I call Christmas drama...
    Get some perspective, please....

    many hugs to you.
    Quote Originally Posted by Mozart View Post
    Personally, I think the moderate use of shock collars in training humans should be allowed.



  3. #23
    Join Date
    Nov. 19, 2003
    Location
    New York
    Posts
    6,962

    Default

    Gah...sorry for the vent....

    Thanks Alagirl...
    *************************
    Go, Baby, Go......
    Aefvue Farms Footing Inspector



  4. #24
    Join Date
    Feb. 1, 2001
    Location
    Finally...back in civilization, more or less
    Posts
    11,370

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Irish Ei's View Post
    Dear God...If this is the worst thing in your life you are incredibly lucky.

    Shrug your shoulders, blow it off and kill 'em with kindness.

    My entire immediate family is dead, including my daughter.
    After she died some oh so kind 3rd party sent e-mails detailing my husband cheating with my best friend.Divorce has already sucked up 3 years and ain't gonna happen any time soon.
    More news..he's been cheating on me for 35 years...oh freeking yay.

    I wake up in my beloved home of 35 years and wonder if he'll take that too.
    Now that's what I call Christmas drama...
    Get some perspective, please....
    Grief is not a competitive sport, Irish. I am sorry for what you have gone through, and for what it sounds like you are still going through. But there is no reason to dismiss someone else's pain because you feel it is lesser than your own.

    OP, give your SO a big hug... that is really all you can do. Then hopefully you can eventually get to a point where you can shrug off the crazy relatives and have a bit of a laugh over it.
    **********
    We move pretty fast for some rabid garden snails.
    -PaulaEdwina


    13 members found this post helpful.

  5. #25
    Join Date
    Nov. 25, 2005
    Location
    MA
    Posts
    986

    Default

    Irish- we are very grateful for all of the love and wonderful people (and pets!) in our lives, whether blood related or not. I'm very sorry that you are going through a difficult time and I hope that you have some other people that you are able to lean on.

    Honestly I probably wouldn't have even posted about this, but I left my phone at my parents this AM and have been unable to vent to friends today!! My SO has found the posts here supportive, as have I, and we are thankful that others also find her behavior appalling. Unfortunately, it is not just a case of her ignoring the gift and not thanking us, but of her actually being angry at having received it.

    Again, Irish, I hope that you have some people in your live to lean on. I am divorced, and it is okay to lean on others when you need to That's what they're there for.


    4 members found this post helpful.

  6. #26
    Join Date
    Oct. 9, 2012
    Location
    Washington State
    Posts
    506

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Ruth0552 View Post
    Irish- we are very grateful for all of the love and wonderful people (and pets!) in our lives, whether blood related or not. I'm very sorry that you are going through a difficult time and I hope that you have some other people that you are able to lean on.

    Honestly I probably wouldn't have even posted about this, but I left my phone at my parents this AM and have been unable to vent to friends today!! My SO has found the posts here supportive, as have I, and we are thankful that others also find her behavior appalling. Unfortunately, it is not just a case of her ignoring the gift and not thanking us, but of her actually being angry at having received it.

    Again, Irish, I hope that you have some people in your live to lean on. I am divorced, and it is okay to lean on others when you need to That's what they're there for.
    Well, she can be angry if she wants to, although I think she is acting pretty stupidly. I don't know the family dynamics of your husband, but he does not need his mom's permission to cut dear old, nasty Sis out of your lives. Just because they share dna doesn't mean they have to have a relationship, especially since it doesn't sound like a very healthy one. You don't even have to give her a heads up that things are changing, just don't send gifts. It's very liberating to realize that you can choose the people in your life and purposely surround yourself with people that are good for you.


    7 members found this post helpful.

  7. #27
    Join Date
    Nov. 18, 2010
    Location
    california
    Posts
    3,431

    Default

    You cannot pick your family. One of my sisters ( I have 3) became angry at me when I had my daughter. She got over it until I had my son. She was not able to have children and adopted a son.

    I gave up trying to accept her, she would tell me what a horrible mother I was for having two children and working. She told me I was selfish for trying IVF (which she also tried) instead of adopting. She became one of those people that disparage others who conceived with IVF when they did not. It is as simple as that, she would refer to my children as "biological children" in cards.

    My point is, to just accept them as they are and let go of any expectations. I don't speak with that sister because I did not want my children to become a target of her anger. She is not worth it. I really don't spend time with my family and there is much less drama.

    Your nephews will live quite well with cards, maybe cash, or not. Your SIL well she will likely always be who she is right now.



  8. #28
    Join Date
    May. 8, 2004
    Posts
    4,278

    Default

    Oh, Ruth, I just read your update and wow. Here's my suggestion: send them one final, parting gift: Emily Post's book on Manners and then bid the whole bunch of them adieu.

    What a rude ingrate that sister is. Evidently she never learned the value of "it's the thought that counts." The sister's rude response has given you and your SO the ticket out of that toxic family, and the freedom to create your own holiday traditions now.

    Wishing you a very Merry Christmas from New England!


    6 members found this post helpful.

  9. #29
    Join Date
    Feb. 26, 2011
    Location
    Its not nowhere, but you can see it from here
    Posts
    3,573

    Default

    FWIW, as the mom of 2 that never stop growing, I love getting t-shirts that are a bit big. The little breeches use them for sleep shirts until they fit! SIL is a beyotch. I get piles of useless stuff every year from in-laws. They always get a thank you note, and the Goodwill gets some donations
    From AliCat518 "Seriously, why would you NOT put fried chicken in your purse?!"



  10. #30
    Join Date
    Aug. 2, 2004
    Location
    Whidbey Is, Wash.
    Posts
    9,252

    Default

    Wow Irish...

    OP, you can't pick your relative and you certainly are NOT forced to talk to them. This goes double for "family," who are in your life only because they are related to a significant other. Absolutely have nothing to do with her, perhaps call her back and leave her a VM with her own message being relayed, and then end it with "thank you for the message, please know that we won't interacting with your family in the near future until you can curb your own nastiness."

    I just did this with my mother. She would leave me message similar in tone to what the sister left your SO, basically that I am horrible and choose myself/dad/husband/life/job/oxygen over her, in language that would make a sailor blush...and then would deny ever leaving the message (there is some mental issue there, but not that much or that kind of issue). Or tell me via text when she is having a bad day that *I* am the source of everyone wrong in her life, and has told me in person she never wanted to be a parent and hated me. Took some counseling, but I've cut her out of my life and it is so much easier! I sent her a message via FB during one of her anti-me tirades (we were only communicating via FB at this point, email/phone/text was deleted immedately by me) that I hoped her decisions made it worth it, but she was now cut from my life. The only time I cry now is when I get sappy at movies.
    Aisha, my heart from 03/06/1986 to 08/22/2008.

    COTH's official mini-donk enabler.
    Odie, aka the Evil Burrito, is on Facebook.


    2 members found this post helpful.

  11. #31
    Join Date
    Nov. 2, 2001
    Location
    In Trouble with Dad...
    Posts
    29,981

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Murphy's Mom View Post
    Next year just send a card. Not a gift card, just a regular one. If you feel you just have to give a gift, donate to a charity in their name. Like the one where you can buy a goat or a cow for some poor African village (someone posted a website about that here once). Give the kids the gift of charity. They are obviously not going to learn about it from their parents.
    Heifer international?

    that certainly would teach that cow!

    the gambia donkey trust...the water thingy....
    all worthy causes.
    (and I am sure SIL would sputter with disgust)
    Quote Originally Posted by Mozart View Post
    Personally, I think the moderate use of shock collars in training humans should be allowed.


    3 members found this post helpful.

  12. #32
    Join Date
    Aug. 15, 2008
    Posts
    4,552

    Default

    OP, I have a sister in law who is very much the same way. With mine at any rate, I've sort of figured out it has mostly to do with the fact that while she's got "everything", she's pretty miserable. She's not happy. She gets upset that while we don't have "everything", we have what matters. Happiness, love, contentment and we respect each other. She's only used to dealing with jealousy when it comes to "stuff" so that confuses her greatly, I think, our having something intangible she desperately wants but can't buy.

    And she takes it out on us with issues just like yours did. Over a Christmas gift for her kids.

    I don't have any advice, but can say try not to let it bother you too much. It's her problem and very likely has nothing to do with you guys, OR the gift.
    "Aye God, Woodrow..."



  13. #33
    Join Date
    Jul. 4, 2006
    Location
    New Hampshire
    Posts
    1,369

    Default

    I've cut way back on family gifts in recent years and each year have been upping my charitable giving instead. It actually feels much better and I no longer feel disappointed by the lack of response, enthusiasm or reciprocity from my family. Now I feel like my money and efforts are going somewhere where it is needed and appreciated.
    -Debbie / NH

    My Blog: http://deborahsulli.blogspot.com/


    2 members found this post helpful.

  14. #34
    Join Date
    Feb. 6, 2007
    Posts
    1,127

    Default

    ugh I'm sorry. If I were you I'd send one of those "Adopt a whale" or some other animal cards and make sure to name it after her, but then again when someone is absolutely vile to me, I have no issue playing hardball back.

    Speaking of more drama, we (my boyfriend and I) received a very generous monetary gift from my parents (check is in my name but it's for both of us) and boyfriends crazy ex believes that she is entitled to half of it (I'm still PISSED he even mentioned it to her when he called her to talk to his kid) and is bitching up a storm bout it. She clearly doesn't understand that it's in my name, him and I are not married, so she is entitled to nothing. Just a jealous old bag that lost her free ride when my boyfriend decided to stop being a doormat and throw her ass out. She actually has to WORK now instead of just mooching off of somebody to fund her shopping sprees.



  15. #35
    Join Date
    Jan. 18, 2002
    Location
    canada
    Posts
    358

    Default

    I dont know, too big shirts and not age appropriate puzzle. I get what everyone is saying, the whole ungrateful stuff, blah,blah,blah. I wonder how you would feel, if the same thing happened to your children. Yes, parents like big shirts, so kids can grow into them, but its not about that its about picking a gift for a kid. Finding out what size, or what would be appropriate for the kid. Heck make the call and talk to the kid direct. If that is to much trouble than best to not give anything. Whatever the SIL problem is, its not your problem. Its between you and two kids, and gifts that were not appropriate. Just my take on things, and a different way to look at things. Next those two kids will be posting on some internet board, about the worst xmas present ever. LOL
    www.tayvalleyfarm.com
    My other home.



  16. #36
    Join Date
    Dec. 19, 2005
    Location
    Some where in the middle of nowhere.
    Posts
    3,482

    Default

    Family can be tough at the best of times. I find myself recenlty struggling with my own. I have one daughter she is 7 I have the best grandparents anyone could have ever asked for. Never missed a holiday birthday etc I wish I could say the same for my Mother and Father. Recently my grandparents have had some health issues (hip replacement) and my mother has moved in with them to "help". Since then contact with them has been limited at best. Today after waiting to mid-day I called them spoke to an aunt for a moment at best and never another word despite many calls back. My daughter is 7 and I feel like deserves better then to have family that can't be bothered to call or answer their phone on a major holiday. Thanksgiving was exactly the same. Its hard not to be spiteful.
    "I would not beleive her if her tongue came notorized"



  17. #37
    Join Date
    Nov. 12, 2008
    Posts
    786

    Default

    It's pretty simple, you wouldn't tolerate such rudeness from anyone else. Why does he tolerate it from her? I hate the saying, "we teach people how to treat us", however, hubbie needs to recognize this as a teachable moment right now. Not next year Write down word for word what the SIL said and send it in a letter to her with the new rules for conversing with you. If she isn't able to respect your rules, hang up, cut off contact, whatever it takes to get the message across that her actions have consequences and the next conversation can start with an "I'm sorry for what I said" or it doesn't happen.


    2 members found this post helpful.

  18. #38
    Join Date
    Mar. 8, 2009
    Location
    Montreal, Qc
    Posts
    2,830

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by texan View Post
    I dont know, too big shirts and not age appropriate puzzle.
    Really no need of being rude about those 'inappropriate' gifts.

    You say : Thank you.
    You get your kids to say: Thank you.
    and you do whatever you want with the damn t-shirts/puzzle.

    Is it worth such drama?
    Is it a crime to pick 'bad' gifts?

    It is a GIFT. That you like it or not doesn't matter. That the other person has wasted his money to buy you the gift is not your problem.

    Next those two kids will be posting on some internet board, about the worst xmas present ever. LOL
    Well, that is another reason why 'bad' gifts need to still be given!


    3 members found this post helpful.

Similar Threads

  1. Goat drama before Christmas with video. ;)
    By aspenlucas in forum Off Topic
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: Dec. 29, 2010, 12:32 PM
  2. Family Vent
    By moodymaretoo in forum Off Topic
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: Dec. 25, 2010, 05:32 PM
  3. Oh fun! Family drama! *eyeroll*
    By twotrudoc in forum Off Topic
    Replies: 22
    Last Post: Sep. 2, 2010, 02:16 PM
  4. barn drama just a vent
    By zippandrich in forum Off Course
    Replies: 19
    Last Post: Apr. 23, 2009, 02:09 PM
  5. Barn Drama -- Please Help!/Vent
    By NewAlternative in forum Off Course
    Replies: 316
    Last Post: Dec. 1, 2008, 10:04 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
randomness