[elf'o'MeghanDACVA]

Yes, I am using my SS elf alter , so one or two people might know who I am, but it's a general question for experienced online daters, I guess. I started POF a couple of months ago looking for someone that I might have something in common with (read: horseman). I found and messaged someone not terribly far away (75 miles or so) with horses pictured in their profile and actually after messaging a bit found him to be an intriguing professional horse person. I've offered to meet somewhere between our towns and he has agreed. What are your ideas for a safe but memorable first get together between 2 horse people?

[LexInVA]

I honestly have no idea who you are. Can't you give us just a little hint?

[chancellor2]

First, I make sure I tell a few people who I am meeting and when....so that if I go missing, someone will know who I was with.
Meet somewhere public.

[LexInVA]

First, I make sure I tell a few people who I am meeting and when....so that if I go missing, someone will know who I was with.
Meet somewhere public.

And go somewhere that you are familiar with...

[ybiaw]

Go for coffee at Starbucks. It's pretty universal and casual.

Tell a friend where you're going and when and what time you think you'll be done. If things go well and take longer, call the friend in charge and let them know.

Safety first!

[Renn/aissance]

Go somewhere public, somewhere you're familiar with if possible, and let people know where you are and who you're with. Use of the time honored Get Out Call, courtesy of a kind friend who can pretend to be dying at any given moment should your date be going poorly, may be advisable, particularly if your friend is in the area. Good luck!

[Belg]

Kirsten and I met over Indian food....

[MunchingonHay]

I am a seasoned pro (well, at least I think I am) at online dating.

1)always tell someone where you are going, who you are meeting all their contact info (that you have, full name, etc), what time you are meeting said person and what time you will be finished. Have a 'I will call you by this time to make sure I am OK' set up.

2) do not walk back to your car after meeting with said person.

3) park in a very well lit area (if returning to you car after dark)

4) park so you can drive straight out (back into your spot)

5)make sure other person leaves first and does not follow you

6)if they do follow you drive straight to the police station or populated area

7) never go directly home after meeting, run an errand or three

8)Have cash on you just in case

9)charge your cell phone up until the last minute so you have a full battery

that all being said, HAVE FUN! Be yourself, I always enjoy meeting someone new, don't have any expectations.

Oh and give us all the juicy details after the date

[elf'o'MeghanDACVA]

Haha Lex, you should have played Secret Santa this year

Looks like I will get to choose the place, it will definitly be public. I was hoping for some suggestion outdoors versus "meeting for coffee". How well do you want to know someone before you meet in person?

[elf'o'MeghanDACVA]

I knew I would find good advice here

[LexInVA]

At this time of year, going somewhere outdoors might not be an option unless you live somewhere sunny and warm. I would get as much about them as you can before meeting them and pay close attention to what they say to see if anything seems off. Never compromise your safety (or sanity) for a wink and a smile.

[Belg]

I am a seasoned pro (well, at least I think I am) at online dating.

1)always tell someone where you are going, who you are meeting all their contact info (that you have, full name, etc), what time you are meeting said person and what time you will be finished. Have a 'I will call you by this time to make sure I am OK' set up.

2) do not walk back to your car after meeting with said person.

3) park in a very well lit area (if returning to you car after dark)

4) park so you can drive straight out (back into your spot)

5)make sure other person leaves first and does not follow you

6)if they do follow you drive straight to the police station or populated area

7) never go directly home after meeting, run an errand or three

8)Have cash on you just in case

9)charge your cell phone up until the last minute so you have a full battery

that all being said, HAVE FUN! Be yourself, I always enjoy meeting someone new, don't have any expectations.

Oh and give us all the juicy details after the date

Also, if you're going to use....wisely... the "paranoid" route... make sure you fill your gas tank before your date, too...

[jess h]

All good suggestions! I had a protective friend on call, expecting a text check-in every couple of hours. Public place. Meet there so you've got a getaway vehicle.

I was also pretty stalker-y on Googling names, phone numbers and email addresses, looking for stuff that didn't add up. I jettisoned one very fun correspondent because I was pretty sure he wasn't anywhere close to being who he said he was (location, career, etc.). However, I used him as a learning experience by asking myself what I had enjoyed so much about interacting with him online, and looking for that in someone who seemed more to be who he said he was.

Best of luck on the meet-up! Mr. H and I were also kind of far from each other (2.5 hours by car and ferry) when we met on Match, but it was so worth the effort.

[ybiaw]

Go bowling!

[elf'o'MeghanDACVA]

Ok, since I tend to hear what I want to hear... what are red flags that something is "off"?

[LexInVA]

If they say one thing about themselves and later say something that contradicts it.

If they say "No, really it's not as bad as it sounds.." it's usually as bad as it sounds.

There's a lot of different situations where red flags pop up but you really don't know them until you see them and have some context for them.

[eponacowgirl]

Starbucks is my go-to first date because it can be as long or as short as you want it to be.

Outdoors is tough because you never know how many other people will be around. Mini golf, perhaps. Dog park?

[LexInVA]

I always go with mini-golf if possible. You can talk, it's casual, it's fun. Other people are usually around. It's a win-win.

[ybiaw]

Mini golf is great, especially when you're AWESOME AT IT, like me.

[LexInVA]

With all the mini-golf places where you live, you'd better be damn good at it.