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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan. 7, 2009
    Posts
    45

    Default Pregnant and very depressed

    Since I found out I was pregnant, I have been really, really depressed. Everyone is ecstatic (hubby/family/friends) but since I can't ride I feel like there's no point to anything anymore. It was my source of exercise, friendship, goals, etc.

    I haven't even been able to see my dr yet due to the holidays but I know she'll "forbid" me from riding just like my hubby. I'm so depressed I woke up this morning crying.

    What the hell am I supposed to do for the next 7 months? Help. :'(



  2. #2
    Join Date
    Sep. 20, 2005
    Posts
    3,504

    Default

    Why would your doctor forbid you from riding? I thought that riding was only restricted in the last trimester...Then again, I really have no idea - only what I've seen on here.

    I'm more concerned about your husband "forbidding" you from doing something when it is obviously making you extremely unhappy. As long as doctor says okay, I'd tell husband to STFU.
    "Are you yawning? You don't ride well enough to yawn. I can yawn, because I ride better than you. Meredith Michael Beerbaum can yawn. But you? Not so much..."
    -George Morris


    14 members found this post helpful.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Apr. 10, 2005
    Location
    Spring, TX
    Posts
    491

    Default

    I rode successfully with twins until 34 weeks. My doctor encouraged it, as she waterskiied until 39 weeks. Unless you are a new rider and/or have complications, I can't imagine why your doctor would forbid you to ride.


    2 members found this post helpful.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan. 7, 2009
    Posts
    45

    Default

    My dr is a mom with 2 young kids, and is extremely conservative in her approach to everything healthcare related. I haven't ridden in a month because my hubby, in his attempt to be supportive and helpful, is slightly throttling me with being healthy and "resting". I trust my horse for light flatwork and have a pro + rider lined up for all the tougher stuff.

    It's even more frustrating when people try and tell me how my riding days are over because the baby has to come first at all times....


    1 members found this post helpful.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Apr. 28, 2004
    Location
    Saratoga Springs, NY
    Posts
    4,553

    Default

    i rode till i was 7 months along or so, and only quit then because it was december, i had no indoor, and i hate the cold. as long as there's nothing else going on, healthwise, why would anybody tell you not to keep doing something you're comfortable and capable doing?
    Different Times Equestrian Ventures at Hidden Spring Ranch
    www.DifferentTimesEquestrianVentures.com


    1 members found this post helpful.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Aug. 12, 2010
    Location
    Westford, Massachusetts
    Posts
    3,764

    Default

    If you are only two months or so pregnant, why would you not be able to ride? Even with many high risk pregnancies riding that early in pregnancy is fine.


    2 members found this post helpful.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jan. 25, 2009
    Location
    Rock Chalk!
    Posts
    3,092

    Default

    I think the idea of women not doing anything physical and "resting" during pregnancy is a little out of date. I coached throughout my pregnancy and her only concern was that I not get smacked by a basketball in the belly (she was born in February - just after season ended for us). I know many women who have ridden pregnant - very pregnant in fact.
    A proud friend of bar.ka.


    4 members found this post helpful.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Nov. 2, 2001
    Location
    Packing my bags
    Posts
    31,955

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Alternate Realityyy View Post
    My dr is a mom with 2 young kids, and is extremely conservative in her approach to everything healthcare related. I haven't ridden in a month because my hubby, in his attempt to be supportive and helpful, is slightly throttling me with being healthy and "resting". I trust my horse for light flatwork and have a pro + rider lined up for all the tougher stuff.

    It's even more frustrating when people try and tell me how my riding days are over because the baby has to come first at all times....
    it might be the first child syndrome.
    The precious vessel thing.

    If the doctor smothers you, find a new one.
    And you might have to take the hormones - which are probably also feeding into your depression a bit, after all all things are topsy turvy right now - and create some breathing room for yourself.

    But it's hardly new for women to be told their lives are over now, and they are only to be mothers.
    does the kid a lot better when they are not the center of the universe, does dad a lot better if mom isn't one big unhappy crab, bored to tears, eating bon-bons all day....
    Quote Originally Posted by Mozart View Post
    Personally, I think the moderate use of shock collars in training humans should be allowed.


    8 members found this post helpful.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Mar. 10, 2007
    Location
    Montana
    Posts
    5,323

    Default

    Go ride your horse! And when you don't feel balanced and safe riding (assuming your horse is a safe one) start doing some sort of ground work or something that keeps you involved with your horse until you can ride again.

    I rode with both of my kids, the most with my daughter and I think that's why she's such a good rider now. The kids have been around the horses since before they were born and fifteen years later they're both great horse kids.

    Do NOT start making your kid and horse oppositional and don't let anyone else do it. Builds resentment up all over the place especially if DH is tangled up in it too. Better set it straight now.


    11 members found this post helpful.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Nov. 1, 2007
    Location
    ....in a classroom in Fl, by the ocean
    Posts
    3,766

    Default

    I have a friend who is a very active dressage competitor and she rode up until the 8th month.

    I see it this way,

    riding = strong core

    strong core = easier baby pushing time

    strong core = less lower back pain

    strong core = quicker recovery time after the baby is born so you can get back in the saddle.


    11 members found this post helpful.

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Dec. 30, 2002
    Location
    Ontario, Canada
    Posts
    909

    Default

    I agree that you should find another doctor and continue to ride. I don't see why anyone would forbid you if there isn't a medical problem.

    Talk to hubby and let him know how you feel. If you normally ride a very green horse or engage in a higher risk event, why not try to keep it a bit safer until baby is here? That may make him feel better about the situation.

    I understand that fathers have a say as the baby is theirs as well, but ultimately it is your body. You are the one that has to carry this child for 9 months and deal with all that goes with pregnancy. If riding makes you happy, I don't see why you shouldn't be riding.

    I felt similar during my pregnancy. I had not planned my baby and had the oddest things go through my mind. At one point I remember worrying that I would love my horse less after baby arrived.

    My daughter is now 3. She got lots of horsey stuff for Christmas (even a pair of faux breeches from H&M) and is super excited about horses. I have sacrificed a lot by having my daughter and have missed a lot of horsey time, but it is really special to see her light up when we groom my horse together and to see her run around playing with toy horses. Hopefully one day you will share that with your child.


    1 members found this post helpful.

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Aug. 2, 2004
    Location
    Whidbey Is, Wash.
    Posts
    9,781

    Default

    *trying to imagine DH telling/forbidding me riding my horse*

    *laughing*

    Seriously OP, your hubs is on the whacked side of being the protective da-da, and needs to chill. Frankly, you SHOULD be able to tell him that too. And a conservative doctor isn't always the way to go either... My doctor tells me to do stuff until it hurts, and if hurts, to self-evaluate . WHO LIVES LIKE THAT??

    Sacred vessel indeed. Reason no 237 I'm never getting pregnant. I do smothering the way cats do baths.
    COTH's official mini-donk enabler

    "I am all for reaching out, but in some situations it needs to be done with a rolled up news paper." Alagirl


    15 members found this post helpful.

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Dec. 27, 2006
    Posts
    321

    Default

    Not only is riding an excellent gentle exercise for pregnancy, as it help keeps your lower back supple, it also keeps the pelvic floor strong. I rode through 2 pregnancies and the doctors were amazed at how quickly those girls came. Your uterus will spring back to shape more quickly, and your overall health will probably be better because you are active and happy.
    Looking after children and riding was what got me off the trails and into the arena, I could get off my horse and just put it away if the kids needed me, I did a certain amount of riding with the small baby in a snugli.
    My girls grew up to be excellent riders, and we formed a bond beyond mother and children because of riding and competing together.
    Women have tried all kinds of things like falling down stairs and off of horses to terminate pregnancies, and can carry a child to term quite successfully with injuries from falling.


    7 members found this post helpful.

  14. #14
    Join Date
    Jan. 16, 2003
    Location
    Tennessee
    Posts
    2,997

    Default

    Maybe it's time to encourage your doctor to learn more about healthy pregnancies that include exercise like riding. My OB/GYN sort of had a niche practice for female athletes, and had written and presented several papers on the subject. He encouraged us to continue with whatever sport we enjoyed as long as we felt comfortable doing so and there was no medical reason to do otherwise. Healthy babies are the norm rather than the exception. Hubby needs to get a grip and STFU.
    It's 2014. Do you know where your old horse is?


    9 members found this post helpful.

  15. #15
    Join Date
    Dec. 28, 2009
    Location
    VA
    Posts
    1,729

    Default

    Continuing the level of physical activity you are currently used to is VERY helpful for you during the pregnancy and during delivery.

    I rode during both of my pregnancies until it was uncomfortable. (until Thanksgiving with the first, delivered Jan 19, 2 1/2 weeks early : until mid June with the second, delivered August 2, 2 weeks early.) Both were healthy and I had very minimal, but appropriate, weight gain. And recovered well after both.

    Being active and fit made the pregnancy and delivery easier.

    If you aren't having any major issues with your pregnancy and you take appropriate steps to help make riding less risky, then keep on keepin on.



    What worked for me:
    I quit jumping and switched back to my level headed horse and had the young girl riding with me ride the somewhat hot head. I kept trotting and cantering to the ring and only walked out on trails. These were MAJOR adjustments I made to keep my sanity and to keep the babies safe. Not riding was NOT an option I felt was reasonable for uncomplicated pregnancies.

    I know of several women who continued to fox hunt in first flight after they found out they were pregnant, but not yet showing. (Outside of my comfort zone, but each to their own.)

    It sounds to me like you need to have a discussion with your husband about expectations or its going to be rough, and this should be a happy time for you.

    I will agree with those that say that your children come first and once you have children, your life is not your own. They get sick, they do sports, school...so many things that go into raising a child. I would say that for most part, the hormone switch at birth makes it so you want to be there for all those things. But remember, you are not alone in parenting. Your husband, first and foremost, needs to have child care responsibilities, aunts, uncles, grandparents.....and if all else fails, BABYSITTERS!!! Find good ones and pay them well and if possible keep them on a regular schedule.


    1 members found this post helpful.

  16. #16
    Join Date
    Jul. 15, 2006
    Location
    VA
    Posts
    853

    Default

    I agree with everyone else, I rode through both pregnancies till about 7 months.
    My doctor just told me to keep doing what I normally do, be aware of your balance as it will change and as long as you are comfortable go for it.
    My husband was a little over protective and tried to convince her to tell me otherwise it went a little something like this.
    Hubby: How much can she lift
    Doc: What ever she normally does, 15 lbs of laundry baskets is not going to hurt
    Hubby: You do realize that she lifts 50 lb feed bags and 80 lb bales of hay right
    Doc: Oh, well then laundry shouldn't be a problem and if she is used to it, no worries.


    6 members found this post helpful.

  17. #17
    Join Date
    Jul. 20, 1999
    Location
    CA
    Posts
    3,217

    Default

    Is this a high risk pregnancy? Do you have a lot of health issues?



  18. #18
    Join Date
    Jul. 15, 2006
    Location
    VA
    Posts
    853

    Default

    Double post



  19. #19
    Join Date
    Apr. 29, 2006
    Location
    Evansville, Wisconsin
    Posts
    3,081

    Default

    I rode up until about two weeks before my son was born, and was back in the saddle about a week after giving birth.

    My doctor told me that I should stop riding because I might fall, and that I should take up biking instead. And I laughed at her, because trust me, if you'd ever seen me on a bike, you'd know I'm better off on the horse

    Though I did keep my riding relatively tame while I was pregnant. I didn't jump or start colts, but I rode all three of my own horses, and even went trail riding and horse camping.

    Not everyone rides while pregnant, but I think that's really a decision you have to make for yourself. Don't let your friends and family tell you what to do. Do get input from your doctor, but ask for a realistic assessment of the risks given your own health, not just a yes/no.
    "In order to really enjoy a dog, one doesn’t merely train him to be semi-human. The point of it is to open oneself to the possibility of becoming part dog."
    -Edward Hoagland


    4 members found this post helpful.

  20. #20
    Join Date
    Apr. 20, 2011
    Posts
    760

    Default

    another vote to keep riding and find a new doctor, as well as some xanax for your hubs!

    and in the first few months, your hormones are all wacky, which is probably contributing to your depression :-( BTDT.

    I firmly believe you should do everything pregnant that you did before you were pregnant, until you can't do them any longer comfortably.

    and after the baby is born?? you will fold him/her into your life and go on. yes, there are adjustments to be made, at least until the baby is on a good schedule, but your life does not end when baby is born!


    5 members found this post helpful.

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