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  1. #101
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    Aug. 25, 2012
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    I agree it would seem that the OP is doing nothing but saying goodbye at this point. Making arrangements for when she is gone. I can't stress enough how bad of an idea this is. There are plenty of people who care about you. However, it would seem you do not want to accept this. Perhaps someone on here lives near you and could meet with you in person to try and help you?


    1 members found this post helpful.

  2. #102
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    Feb. 5, 2010
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    OP, you're right, none of us can really know what you're going through. We can try to relate similar circumstances, but that's it.

    I will say that years ago I had to be on a few medicines that messed with my emotions in a major way--I am normally very a laid-back, even-keeled, steady eddie type and these medications gave me horrible mood swings and at times made me quite depressed. I would tell myself, "It's not you, it's the medication, and you WILL get through this just fine." I think you are in a similar situation, as your hormones are so unbalanced that you are not thinking clearly. This is not you and it's not your fault.

    I hope you will get some help from a qualified doctor and work through this. You have definitely been dealt a crappy hand of cards, but that doesn't mean you have to fold. Best of luck to you.



  3. #103
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    Apr. 20, 2011
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    I read this whole thread today with a sinking sick feeling in my stomach, and I really hope it doesn't fall into that "no good deed goes unpunished" category, but I took the chance and made some phone calls. Hoping OP gets the help she needs.

    OP, please, take the offers of help, NO ONE can do it all alone, all the time. Open yourself up to the possibility that there is a future for you, one day at a time.


    4 members found this post helpful.

  4. #104
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    Aug. 28, 2006
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    Quote Originally Posted by Coanteen View Post
    Ok OP, you know what?

    I've participated in suicide reviews. I know the stats on how few suicides are essentially "preventable" and how many are not.

    If this is some kind of prolonged goodbye and you've made up your mind, if nothing people say here will change it, do you think posting here is good for people? You have a lot of people very worried, a lot of people hurting. If you do kill yourself, all posting here will have accomplished is leaving a lot of other previously uninvolved people with pain, and possibly with guilt.

    Doesn't really apply if you are reaching out for help, but your updates seem to indicate otherwise.

    Oh yeah, well, the feelings of others posting on COTH are more important than her feelings.

    Are you serious?



  5. #105
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    May. 3, 2007
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    Flagstaff, Arizona
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    If you need or want to talk I am available and easy for you to find.
    Sending you love and light.
    www.ctannerjensen.com
    http://ctannerjensen.blogspot.com/
    Equine Art capturing the essence of the grace,strength, and beauty of the Sport Horse."


    1 members found this post helpful.

  6. #106
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    Feb. 20, 2010
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    Quote Originally Posted by grayarabpony View Post
    Oh yeah, well, the feelings of others posting on COTH are more important than her feelings.

    Are you serious?
    I am completely and utterly serious, yes. And I'd bet that I have more experience with suicide investigation than most people here.

    This isn't about her feelings vs other posters' feelings. This is about spreading sadness and guilt for no reason, if her mind is made up already and she's in the active preparation process.


    5 members found this post helpful.

  7. #107
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    Jun. 27, 2005
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    KY
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    Quote Originally Posted by Coanteen View Post
    I am completely and utterly serious, yes. And I'd bet that I have more experience with suicide investigation than most people here.
    But you know what? I bet most of us really don't care about your statistics.


    ************************
    \"Horses lend us the wings we lack\"


    3 members found this post helpful.

  8. #108
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    Feb. 5, 2010
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    Yes, we care about compassion and empathy. Not so interested in statistics.


    2 members found this post helpful.

  9. #109
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    Jan. 14, 2003
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    Quote Originally Posted by luvmytbs View Post
    But you know what? I bet most of us really don't care about your statistics.

    I don't think the point is about statistics. The point is that OP is likely in a very bad place and did not come here for help, but to spread as much sadness as possible. The ultimate, selfish pity party given by someone who is in a truly awful emotional space and probably in need of some serious medical treatment with HRT. I think it is just a caution to "guard your heart" so to speak.


    11 members found this post helpful.

  10. #110
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    Feb. 20, 2010
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    It's not about statistics, really. More about the general pointlessness of trying to convince someone whose mind is made up - you have no real name, you can't call 911 for help. You can just pour out your compassion and once OT day closes you can feel sad and worried, and maybe guilty.

    Thus far every post from OP is along the lines of "thank you, but this is what I'm doing now." Anti-depressants typically take weeks to work, and often there's a worsening period (the most dangerous time for suicide wrt SSRI's is on starting them), so the posters who are hoping for a miracle when/if OP starts meds are not grounded in huge amounts of reality.


    7 members found this post helpful.

  11. #111
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    Jun. 27, 2005
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    Quote Originally Posted by Coanteen View Post
    Anti-depressants typically take weeks to work, and often there's a worsening period (the most dangerous time for suicide wrt SSRI's is on starting them), so the posters who are hoping for a miracle when/if OP starts meds are not grounded in huge amounts of reality.
    And that fact is typically very much discussed with the patient seen by the professional.

    Most can deal with the temp down spiraling just by being aware of that it CAN happen and that it WILL change.

    For more severe cases the doc can prescribe additional temporary medication that can help elevate the mood of the patient when they feel the 'down part' coming on.

    Maybe you can resort to some statistics of people who have found their way back from the darkness. I'd think that would be much more helpful at this point.

    ************************
    \"Horses lend us the wings we lack\"


    1 members found this post helpful.

  12. #112
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    Dec. 7, 2006
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    Spruce Grove AB
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    Hi Iz, just popping in to give you and your critters a big hug.


    1 members found this post helpful.

  13. #113
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    Feb. 20, 2010
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    Quote Originally Posted by luvmytbs View Post
    I'd think that would be much more helpful at this point.
    That would depend on whether you believe uplifting stories would be helpful. OP's been given many, and her posts have gone rather steadily downhill (open them all up, from first to last, you'll see what I mean). So I disagree with you.


    OP, if she's real, might be doing merely more of this, going darker to keep the responses going, knowing that OT day is closing:
    but the couple of friends I do have here know how dark my thoughts have been. I write them on the 'puter, and I have sent out pieces, looking for feedback, and support.
    And if this is true, either her close friends lack compassion and common sense, or they know more than strangers being given a story and that's why they're not so worried that they're calling 911 on OP:
    I have been very open with my close friends about how I am feeling. They are not happy about my thoughts, but they cannot call me irrational, either.
    Tbh people who reach out either want help and do accept it, or they're saying goodbye and making very sure they can't be found. Or they're playing with their audience, which is always a very real possibility on the internet and a great reason to keep from getting emotionally entangled.


    8 members found this post helpful.

  14. #114
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    Feb. 5, 2010
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    I find some of the comments here very cold and not at all constructive. It would be a better idea to start a new thread or continue the conversation in PMs. IMO this thread should stick to offering emotional support, etc. to the OP. She might not choose to take it, but there are plenty here offering it. If individual posters choose to do so or not is their choice, but adding more negativity is not helping.


    2 members found this post helpful.

  15. #115
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    Apr. 20, 2011
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    Quote Originally Posted by Coanteen View Post
    It's not about statistics, really. More about the general pointlessness of trying to convince someone whose mind is made up - you have no real name, you can't call 911 for help. You can just pour out your compassion and once OT day closes you can feel sad and worried, and maybe guilty.

    Thus far every post from OP is along the lines of "thank you, but this is what I'm doing now." Anti-depressants typically take weeks to work, and often there's a worsening period (the most dangerous time for suicide wrt SSRI's is on starting them), so the posters who are hoping for a miracle when/if OP starts meds are not grounded in huge amounts of reality.
    you can, and I did.


    16 members found this post helpful.

  16. #116
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    Aug. 9, 2007
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    I understand what coanteen is trying to say to all. I once got deeply involved both emotionally and physically with a co-worker who just came into my office and told me he was going to commit suicide. He wanted me to save him, and we'd not been friends before this. Despite all my best efforts, he killed himself in front of his ex-wife (he left her) and his 9 yoa son on the son's birthday, six months after he told me he was going to kill himself. He had a lot of issues with his father, who gave him everything but who beat Don's siblings and Don's mother.

    Sometimes people just don't fear death as much as they fear life. And no matter what we all say, they do punish the living by committing suicide. The guilt is terrible for those left behind.

    OP, you need to go to the hospital emergency room and ask for help. Suicide is final. You will be punishing yourself more than you will punish your family and friends. The holidays can be very depressing for people with no money and no love. But to get love, you have to go out and give love. You have your horses and dogs. You have friends. You can get treatment, and get on a level playing field again. What your father did to you and your mother should not color your life. People have overcome worse things, and worse losses, with the help of therapy. And as we used to say in college, to love someone and lose him is better than never to have loved at all. While at breakup time it seems awful, there is more love out there. But you have to live to find it.


    9 members found this post helpful.

  17. #117
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    Dec. 31, 2000
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    El Paso, TX
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    I would guess the mods could track the alter, and notify police in that town, if they feel the person needs to be involuntarily committed, for a 72 hr watch.


    1 members found this post helpful.

  18. #118
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    Jan. 18, 2011
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    Quote Originally Posted by Break-away Alter View Post
    Bryndewinesfarm@gmail.com


    520 Byers Road
    Chester Springs, PA 19425
    (610) 637-1806
    Quote Originally Posted by jetsmom View Post
    I would guess the mods could track the alter, and notify police in that town, if they feel the person needs to be involuntarily committed, for a 72 hr watch.
    The email address associated with her alter is the name of a farm. That is the address of that farm.

    I got this with a simple google search. It's a unique name.


    1 members found this post helpful.

  19. #119
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    Aug. 25, 2012
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    Quote Originally Posted by jetsmom View Post
    I would guess the mods could track the alter, and notify police in that town, if they feel the person needs to be involuntarily committed, for a 72 hr watch.
    This needs to happen!



  20. #120
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    Aug. 14, 2010
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    San Francisco, CA
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    It looks like gabby.gator called 911? In which case iz is probably at the ER right now...
    Proud member of the COTH Junior (and Junior-at-Heart!) clique!


    1 members found this post helpful.

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