After the liars, the ones that just want to get in your pants, the ones that expect everything done for them and do nothing for you, the ones with no life who want to follow you around all day, to the ever popular "when are you going to get rid of those horses?" so you have more time and money to spend on him, of course! To the obsessive stalkers, the jealous ones, UGH....
I'm 46, kid is grown and gone, after the last relationship went bad I just thought, ENOUGH!! Whew. Life is great. No more complaining, no more, 'where are you going and can I go with you', no more 'i'm broke' excuses (amazing how quick they can get a real job after the break up), no more BS, etc. I could go on and on.
I decided, here I am, spending energy, time, money on some idiot, why don't I spend all that on ME and cut out the middle man. So far it works great!
Don't miss it at all!! I would be a crazy cat lady, but I'm allergic to cats, so I got rats instead. They are awesome, they do make great pets. Smart little critters too! Always up to something. Never once have they said I should get rid of the horses, so I think they can stay around!
Off to the barn, have a great day everybody!! And Merry Xmas!
Here's a related question: If you ARE dating, is it with a "goal?" I gave up when I was 24 and found myself enjoying it like a root canal. Reason being: I was NOT looking to get married and I was NOT looking to just "hook up." So I asked myself, WHY are you dating at all then? Because it's expected of you?
Stopped and never bothered again. I've had a great life, a few relationships with people I met in the course of normal activities, never anything more serious than I wanted to let it get. Great thing was I could enjoy the company of a guy for a meal or an evening out, but never kidding either him or myself that there was any more to it than that.
I never wanted to be tied down to a "destiny" determined by biology.
While I miss my husband terribly (who passed away suddenly six years ago) I am so much happier by myself. I tried dating for a bit, but I realized I just didn't want the hassle anymore.
I now have time to do the things I want to do, which I always had to put on the back burner before. I work a lot of hours and sometimes it's just so nice not to have to carry on a conversation when the day's over.
Yes, I'm a crazy cat/horse lady now, but who cares? I'm not hurting anyone and I'm quite content.
I hate dating!! Way too many expectations. I can do what I want when I want. I have my dogs and horses and am very happy!! Do I miss having someone to travel with or go out to dinner or a movie? of course. But not worth the hassle that it creates.
Last relationship ended 2 years ago. Remained friends, tried some online dating. Very small town so thought it was the best way to go. So right about the liars! I'd have to say that about 9/10 of those I've met have been full of it. Brother! Gave up the online bit and have been much less miserable. But have to admit I would prefer to be in a relationship, although only if it is mutually rewarding, and not so sure that's possible now. I found that guys our age I've met (50's) now - 1) expect to be waited on hand and foot and 2) are really even worse emotionally then fellows in our 20's and 30's. Just so surprised to see so much neediness. Yuck. Or on the other hand, they are ONLY looking for perfect 10's 15-25 years younger. Good luck with that! LOL
In the meantime, decided to really work on myself for my own happiness - fitness - getting outside more - reading - getting involved locally. Plus have now officially started my own business as of last week.
But, you do only need one good apple. Kind of hope he's out there somewhere. Just not turning over all the rocks, rather hoping to just come across his path someday.
How can there be so many currents in such a little puddle? National Velvet
I pretty much have. If I stumbled into something good, I wouldn't fight it, but I'm not looking. I like my life as is right now - I'm busy, I travel a lot, my job is going really well, I have good friends. And I love alone time. Admittedly when I'm out with friends on New Year's Eve, and everyone is kissing someone at midnight while I'm all, "ooh, fireworks, pretty!" it can tug at me a little. But that is a fleeting feeling, and I wouldn't compromise my overall happiness for that fleeting feeling.
A couple of thoughts: I think people need to be happy being single before they can be happy in a relationship. That and it is better to be single than it is to be in a bad relationship
I'd be very happy to meet someone as a friend through volunteer work or through the normal course of things and have something develop naturally. The problem is, once you are in the working world and incorporate horses in the mix, it's hard to find time just to go out and meet people just for the sake of meeting them.
The biggest problem I have with men is meeting those who seem genuinely nice and successful, who can start a relationship, but then start to get close emotionally and have to pull away with no warning, like a rubberband. I'm tired of that kind of game playing. So I just do my thing and hope maybe one day someone nice will come along when I least expect it.
I'm in good company -- thanks to all of you for sharing your perspectives! I feel exactly the same way. After being together 25 years, ex left 4 years ago and I've never been happier. Most of my friends think I should be dating, but I have no interest at all.
I gave up about 10 years ago. I wasn't enjoying dating, tired of the rejection and the disappointments (and the users), as well as the nights sitting there realizing that I would rather be almost anywhere else. As someone else said, if something good came along, I wouldn't fight it, but I just stopped looking for it a good while ago and it was a relief.
Oregon, sitting on my couch looking out the window at a mountain
Good for you guys! So many people look to be in relationships because....they can't stand to be alone, or think it is what is just "done." I TRIED to give up dating and being in a relationship, but the universe had other plans for me. I even said out loud to many people "I never want to date again and I'm definitely NOT getting married." And lo and behold I met Mr. PoPo.
Not all men are louses and have the negative characteristics noted in above posts. I got one of the good ones, so they are out there.
But cheers to those of you who are on your own path and happy to be solo!
I haven't dated in years, and I'm so much happier. My friends kept introducing me to men who either were broke, or had a ton of baggage, so I just stopped. When a friend kept trying to get me to go out with his friend, who had married and divorced the same woman at least three times, and was stone broke I simply quit, and I'm so much happier without supporting someone and paying their child support.
ME! Single and happy. My only complaint is the constant questions from the family about why I'm in my mid-30s and not married with kids. I tell them I have kids -- 8 horses, 11 cats, and 1 dog. I work 70 hours a week, plus the farm on top of that, and most guys I've met don't understand that.
I keep hoping Mr Right is out there, don't get me wrong, but I'm not going to turn over every rock in creation to find him, either. When it's meant to happen, it will. Maybe next year when I go to England on vacation . . .
i get tired of being the odd one out when I hang with friends. And I get tired of all of my friend's boyfriends/husbands always wondering why I'm single. And I get tired of everyone in my family asking me if I'm dating anyone.
i just can't seem to find anyone who doesn't annoy the crap out of me.
I just tell inquirers that I would rather be lonely than irritated.
but i love relationships and hate not having one. It is what it is and I just go on with my horses and cat.
Totally agree. The worst part is the hang-dog looks you get from others who want you "to be happy". So much better being content alone, than miserable and stuck.
My sibs are all older than I am, and all (now) happily married. So they keep trying to figure me out. I say I'd like someone else, and I would, I'm a good partner and supportive, but I'm not the type that HAS to have another in my life. I don't know if any of them, or any of several other family and friends, have ever lasted long alone. Jumping right into another relationship to keep from being alone, to me, is absurd!
How can there be so many currents in such a little puddle? National Velvet
I guess it depends on whether you're window shopping broke, or with money in your pocket. If you're broke you couldn't buy even if you wanted to so its not a choice. If you have money, but don't buy, then it is a choice.
He is total garbage! Quick! Hide him on my trailer (Petstorejunkie).