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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Nov. 15, 2004
    Location
    Nescopeck PA
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    1,839

    Default What was the darkest day in your life?

    I don't mean this to be a negative thread, though I realize it may turn into one, but what was the darkest day in your life?

    For me the saddest day was hearing the news my first daughter had died in utero. The hardest day was the following day, giving birth to her, holding her and then handing her over to the nurses.

    BUT this has made me a stronger person. Because THAT was the hardest day of my life and no matter what happens going forward I can be stronger then it. I am a changed person because of her. I love my children with a love I don't think I would have had before. I appreciate them deeply. I trust God that there is a reason for her life in my womb and her death, and because of her I'm a much stronger person, a happier person that tries to find the positive in everything.

    Has your darkest day made you a stronger person?
    Maria Hayes-Frosty Oak Stables
    Home to All Eyez On Me, 1998 16.2 Cleveland Bay Sporthorse Stallion
    & FrostyOak Hampton 2008 Pure Cleveland Bay Colt
    www.frostyoaks.com


    4 members found this post helpful.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Sep. 2, 2008
    Location
    Greeley, Colorado
    Posts
    3,869

    Default

    The darkest day in my life was when my Mom (my very best friend) died. I was 22 and an only child who wasn't super close to my dad.

    I have since grown up A LOT. I have an awesome relationship with my father and I learned that I am a lot stronger than I gave myself credit for. No matter how bad things seem, I CAN pull myself through.
    **Friend of bar.ka**

    Fils Du Reverdy (Revy)- 1993 Selle Francais Gelding
    My equine soulmate


    3 members found this post helpful.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Sep. 4, 2012
    Location
    Southeast US
    Posts
    1,304

    Default

    The darkest day in my life was the day my son died in a car accident. I don't think it made me stronger, but I was already pretty tough. What it did do is give me a whole new appreciation of how important it is to have friends and family who love you, care about you, and will always be there when you need them. And I think I'm a better friend, sister, mother, daughter, etc. now because of that.


    5 members found this post helpful.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Nov. 1, 2007
    Location
    ....in a classroom in Fl, by the ocean
    Posts
    3,814

    Default

    My sister did not wake up on my 25th birthday. She was 22.

    I have since lived like today is my last, (to a degree) I take risks, pickup and move on a whim, traveled all over Europe, enjoy every meal of delicious foods, I really do stop and smell the roses and watch the sunset.

    I squeeze my friends hard when I hug them hello and good bye, tell them that I love them.


    15 members found this post helpful.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Nov. 1, 2007
    Location
    ....in a classroom in Fl, by the ocean
    Posts
    3,814

    Default

    I feel for the parents that have lost children. I watched my parents suffer, and still suffer over the loss of my sister. They may have lost a child but I lost a sibling, a partner in crime, someone to grow old with and complain about how horrible our parents screwed us up.

    It disrupts the natural order of things when a child goes before a parent. And to all of you, jingles for your heart.


    5 members found this post helpful.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Mar. 6, 2002
    Location
    Oregon
    Posts
    5,957

    Default

    My darkest day...well, it was a dark one, and I made it dark for a lot of other people, too. I'd rather not share specifics, as we seem to have a different crowd than we used to, that I'm not as comfortable with. However, I can say that it helped me learn some valuable lessons, and I carry this blessing with me always:

    May you see God's light on the path ahead
    When the road you walk is dark.
    May you always hear,
    Even in your hour of sorrow,
    The gentle singing of the lark.
    When times are hard may hardness
    Never turn your heart to stone,
    May you always remember
    When the shadows fall-
    You do not walk alone.

    And these days, I think that even my darkest day probably isn't as dark as some of those around me. I am surrounded by a humbling group of people and am thankful that they allow me to share their burdens. My hour of darkness seems but a passing cloud in the sky to what some endure.
    What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what
    lies with in us. - Emerson


    5 members found this post helpful.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Dec. 2, 2009
    Posts
    3,550

    Default

    My darkest day was telling my beloved son that his father had died. A parent is a child's whole world, and he worshipped his Dad. Knowing that, in part, I had "allowed" it to happen by not dealing with his addicted self well, and having to face my son's grief and my own amidst well meaning people who liked to say such comforting things as "He made his own choices", felt like neither of is were allowed to grieve because he was bad. I was not allowed to grieve because we were no longer together, which only happened because of his addictions.

    I'm not sure if I feel stronger, yet. But I learned a lot. I will never forget my son's anguished screams and the helplessness I felt. But I'm so proud of him and how he is handling his life. I know his Dad would have been proud.


    4 members found this post helpful.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Nov. 10, 2008
    Location
    Gillett PA
    Posts
    247

    Default

    Mine was when the State Police showed up at my home and told me my daughter had died in a single car accident....in a car she was not suppose to be in and she was driving. It devastated me, her father and her remaining siblings.

    Our lives were forever changed. Sometimes for the better and mostly for the worse. It is something we will never truly got over or be able to let go and move on. It is easier every day but the hole in our lives will forever remain.

    My youngest was 7 when her sister died. She is now 17. The other day she posted specifically to the children who died in the latest horrific catasrophe to look for her big sister to guide them in their new home. Touched my heart.


    5 members found this post helpful.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Oct. 18, 2000
    Location
    Connecticut
    Posts
    7,965

    Default

    The first darkest day: when my father passed.
    The second: when my dearest friend committed suicide.
    These events clearly marked the times before they occured, and afterwards.
    "The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." Albert Einstein

    http://s1098.photobucket.com/albums/...2011%20Photos/


    2 members found this post helpful.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    May. 5, 2008
    Location
    Scranton, PA
    Posts
    730

    Default

    The darkest day of my life was the day my dad committed suicide. I was 16.

    I have faced trials of great size but none like that.

    Since then I have discovered my Mom was having an affair. Having an affair with the pastor of our church of many years. The paster who confirmed me into the church and taught my Sunday school class. This man is now in jail, accused of murdering both of his former wives, the first to be with the second, the second to be with my mom.
    On January 8th I will testify at his murder trial. I'm sure it too, will be an incredibly dark day as I relive the hell I went through on October 29th, 2008.

    I grew up the last of my teenage years without a father.
    I didn't have my daddy to walk me down the aisle at my weddin or dance with me.
    And my children will never know their granddad.

    Yes, there are many more dark days to come, but I face them with strength because my Dad wouldn't have wanted it any other way.


    9 members found this post helpful.

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Jun. 30, 2005
    Posts
    2,185

    Default

    The darkest day of my life was when my newborn son died on Valentines Day 1989. We should never have to bury our children.....peace to the parents of the Newtown victims!! I understand!
    RIP Sucha Smooth Whiskey
    May 17,2004 - March 29, 2010
    RIP San Lena Peppy
    May 3, 1991 - March 11, 2010


    4 members found this post helpful.

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Jun. 10, 2001
    Location
    Rising Sun, Maryland, USA
    Posts
    5,126

    Default

    Hugs and healing to everyone.

    My darkest day was the day my beloved husband died of cancer.

    Since then, I can't say it's been particularly fun or pleasant since then. There certainly are good times and our son is an amazing individual, but it's tough... I don't recommend the combination of grieving and parenting, if you can help it... stay far away ;-)
    http://www.leakycreek.com/
    http://leakycreek.wordpress.com/ Rainbows & Mourning Doves Blog
    John P. Smith II 1973-2009 Love Always
    Father, Husband, Friend, Firefighter- Cancer Sucks- Cure Melanoma


    5 members found this post helpful.

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Oct. 20, 2005
    Posts
    2,811

    Default

    4/28/08. Lost my grandfather that day, my grandmother 2 weeks later, and my uncle three days after that.
    It's a uterus, not a clown car. - Sayyedati



  14. #14
    Join Date
    Jan. 4, 2004
    Location
    Houston, Tx
    Posts
    1,028

    Default

    April 17, 2008. my 28 year old son committed suicide. It has changed me, how could it not. But, it's something I would have a had time saying "has made me a better person". Because that's some lemons, one can't make lemonade out of! I understand why our media is covering the newtown tragedy so much, why people are so confused, but some media and political types appear to be using it as an opportunity to push an adgenda and that is very very annnoying. For me, right after my son died, one of the unexpected hard parts of greiving was that everyone in my "community" knew about it, were supportive of course, but it made my pain such a public thing, when all I wanted to do was hide and not be noticed. There were countless times that when a casual aquaintence would approach me and give me a hug and say I'm so sorry (we are talking weeks after)that although I appreciated the gesture, I would think, oh crap, that's right, he's gone - for perhaps 5 seconds I hadn't been thinking about it, and you just reminded me! Cards and letters, those I loved and cherished. Rambling now...


    2 members found this post helpful.

  15. #15
    Join Date
    Nov. 15, 2004
    Location
    Nescopeck PA
    Posts
    1,839

    Default

    God bless all of you who have lost loved ones. It's amazing how strong the COTH community is.
    Maria Hayes-Frosty Oak Stables
    Home to All Eyez On Me, 1998 16.2 Cleveland Bay Sporthorse Stallion
    & FrostyOak Hampton 2008 Pure Cleveland Bay Colt
    www.frostyoaks.com


    2 members found this post helpful.

  16. #16
    Join Date
    Apr. 9, 2012
    Location
    NYC=center of the universe
    Posts
    1,965

    Default

    9-11. I worked across the street from WTC. I wouldn't say it's made me stronger. It did change me.
    Born under a rock and owned by beasts!



  17. #17
    Join Date
    Aug. 15, 2009
    Location
    Knoxville, TN
    Posts
    1,968

    Default

    My worst day was the day my husband was diagnosed with a particularly aggressive cancer - and my grandmother died that afternoon. In a way, it was easier that they happened at the same time, because I couldn't get totally bogged down in either experience, but it was an absolutely horrible time. We're almost 7 years out now, though, and dh is healthy, so no complaints here.


    3 members found this post helpful.

  18. #18
    Join Date
    Oct. 15, 2011
    Posts
    1,143

    Default

    The day I put my heart horse to sleep was my darkest day. A very, very close runner-up is when my friend was killed in a car accident my sr. year of high school.
    *Wendy* 4.17.73 - 12.20.05



  19. #19
    Join Date
    Sep. 24, 2008
    Posts
    1,672

    Default

    My worst day was when my heart horse broke his neck and died in my arms. Still makes me tear up everytime I think about it, which is a lot.
    It taught me that things can happen that change your life, in the blink of an eye.

    NJR
    Your beliefs don't make you a better person, your behaviour does.



  20. #20
    Join Date
    Oct. 25, 2010
    Location
    Good olde Hazard Co. Maryland
    Posts
    225

    Default

    My darkest day was when I brought my father home from the hospital to die at home cause cancer got the best of him. He passed away not even 24 hours later on March 17th, 2007. He was 51. I was 24 and a only child and he was my best friend. A lot was put on my shoulders. I planned his funeral and had to take care of my mother.

    It made me stronger due to the fact that I made the tough realization that I have nobody but myself. His death brought on a slew of other issues that have hurt me.

    My mother tried to commit sucide and blame it on me and the same time my bf at the time broke up with me and moved out. I also packed all my stuff and moved out by the time my mother was released from the hospital. I didn't talk to her for a year. Our relationship is back to normal now.

    I lost my family. We had a pulling tractor and my dad, myself and two uncles spent every weekend at tractor pulls. They have not spoken to me since and I don't know what I have done to them.

    And most of all I lost my best friend. This had made me only depend on myself to do things. What drove me crazy was everyone asked how my mother was but nobody asked me how I was. I still have not grieved for him.


    2 members found this post helpful.

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