My marriage is on the rocks (I'm WhoaBaby0123 from the last OT day...coming clean here!). My husband still doesn't get it.
My sister just got admitted into rehab today, and we've decided not to have Christmas this year, my DD's 1st Christmas. My father blames me for not being 'supportive' enough to her in her younger years, which has caused her to have attention seeking problems that make her self-destruct.
Willow is becoming increasingly more stressful with her testyness, and assholeyness. I leave the barn in tears every time I go.
DD is not sleeping. Just screaming. All. Day. Long.
Dixie is having all her stranger danger problems.
I HATE being stuck at home. Hate. Hate. Hate. I was recently offered a position managing a barn, heading my own lesson program, and able to bring Willow there. I had to turn it down because we're moving. I've been working towards an offer like that for over 10 years.
DH has been working 16-18 hour days for the past month, so I'm dealing with all this crap on my own.
COTH, and all y'all are such a bright spot for me everyday. Thank you all so much!! I know it's silly, but I honestly don't know what I'd do with out all of you!
So sorry you have so much stress going on. Only suggestion is to try to eliminate one thing for an hour, a day, a week. It may come back after that, but at least for that period, it's one less thing to deal with.
Hugs to you, I didn't see your last thread. But I realize the stress the military can put on life and your marriage. There is help out there, the FRG might just be the place for you. Console in the rest of us and be assured that you can make it through the tough times. My husband and I hit a rough patch when DS was about a year old and he had actually called his FSG to be moved to the dorms, we made it through and he never left our home even after the call.
If you ever need someone to vent to, I'll be here! Please, yell, scream anything, if you need to do it with your voice, I am willing to give you my cell number! Reach out (:
It's really nice to have a broad life, and parts that aren't dictated entirely by your immediate situation and the people in it.
With respect to your two mares-- Willow and DD. Can you have a heart-to-heart with them? Seriously, in your own (adult human) words. "Really? You need to act out so strongly? What is your problem, exactly and what do I need to change to fix that? And by the way, you are making this harder than it has to be." IME, if I have that actual conversation, I get some insight out of it. It's kind of mysterious, but telling the truth even to the non-speaking types helps me get clear.
With respect to the family who wants to now talk about sh!te you did wrong in 1974. Your answer needs to be "Meh. Yeah, I'll own my part in that, but what do you want to do from here?"
Super, I am so sorry things are so cruddy right now. I remember when hubby and I were first married and had a baby less than a year later and moved away from my hometown. I felt like I was all alone because his job took him away so often. (He is inthe Coast Guard). I know the weather where you are is probably cold but bundle that baby up and get out of the house. The housework can wait. Find your local YMCA and see what kind of programs they offer. Join a playgroup or hire a babysitter for an hour a few days a week and go be by yourself. Give Willow some time off and just hang out. Things will get better, repeat that to yourself every day. HUGS!
Sorry if there are typos, I'm trying to type on a tablet and my fingers are too fat.
Oy!!! Just searched out your other post. Man o man. Sounds like it's time for some couples counseling, stat. If he doesn't "get it" he needs a neutral third party to help him "get it." Will be rooting for you.
Armando del Fuego, Best Boy Ever (almost always)
Member of the Not Too Klassy For Boxed Wine Clique
Proud owner of The Roadkill Cafe
Sorry you are going thru this. Take some time off of the horses, do some grooming and ground work. One less stress until your DD is older and you can get some more rest.
As to dad's comments, well that is his problem, not yours. You are the sister, not the parent - that is his job.
This too will pass. Take care of yourself!
"Never do anything that you have to explain twice to the paramedics."
Courtesy my cousin Tim
So sorry you are going through a rough time. BTDT with a colicky baby -- that just makes everything so much more bleak.
Have you tried reflux meds? if you are BFing, elimination diets seem to help some people. What helped mine was Nutramigen. It turns out he is lactose-intolerant and breastmilk has lactose so I could eliminate everything in the world and still have a colicky baby.
Hang in there. My son was a terror his first 8 months but he turned into the sweetest, easiest child around age 1 and has been ever since. I am sure yours will do the same since you are building up a huge supply of good karma.
Ignore your dad, his comment about your sister was idiotic.
Huge hugs and I second the reflux. My daughter had zero reflux symptoms and it took her having one of her screaming episodes at the Dr. To get him to listen to me (first Time mom who didn't believe it was just colic). Three days after going on Zantac she went from the baby from he!! To a normal infant, it's worth looking into.
I hope things look up soon, you've got a lot on your plate
Intriguing about the proton-pump inhibitors. Too bad they weren't available back in the day as the saying goes. (Hell, President Millard Fillmore was actually out of office and even happily retired before I was born...)
I'm told I had GI sensitivities as a baby, and I do know that when my paternal grandmother chose to ignore my Mom's warnings and bounce me around after a sub-one year old feeding, I promptly threw up all over her back, apparently something that neither my father, nor my uncle, nor my older cousin ever did.
If I knew what I were doing, why would I take lessons?
"Things should be as simple as possible, but no simpler." - Einstein