Yes, I am hiding behind my alter, but its been a rough week so just looking for some advice.
My SO (who is wonderful) and I got into an arguement that got way out of hand. He's never struck or hurt me in any way, but it was scary bc I've nver seen him that angry.
Anyways, after we got through the whole mess, we decided he definitely needs to go get some counseling/help. He agrees and is willing to go, as he recognizes he has difficulty controlling his anger.
I want to do anything I can to support him getting better, as in all other aspects of our life he is amazing. But he definitely has unresolved issues from his childhood that I think are contributing. Has anyone gone through this before? Any words of advice? I'm confused about what type of counseling is best and what kind of qualifications we should look for.
More helpful to people in my life who had some of these issues is a program recommended by the local DV center (and no, he doesn't have to be violent first). If it uses the Duluth model, I've found it to be particularly good.
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) will help him recognize the signs of the anger coming on and help his stop the train before it runs you over.
My partner has been in therapy for two years, working hard. One of the issues was abusive anger. Actually, in her case, much of it was hormones/menopause tied in with an inherently short fuse and general lack of respect for people. It was truly awful and I was ready to walk.
Things are worlds different now. She has worked her ass off in therapy. If they are motivated to change, often all it takes is developing the self awareness and self control and it definitely can be done.
Thank you both! Sketcher, I'm PMing you for the name of your program since we are in the same state
What I'm finding most frustrating is that all of the DV programs I've contacted have been unhelpful. All of them were willing to give me free counseling until the cows come home, but none had any suggestions on how to get my SO the help he needs.