Please assure me that there is a light at the end of the tunnel, and I'll find it before she's 18!
She will. not. sleep for me during the day, which leaves me with an often over tired (read: whining) child. If her father is home, she'll go down without a peep at the allotted times and sleep for an hour or so. She'll nap for my Mom. My MIL. However, during the week (and now weekends) I have to put her down and listen to her scream while I frantically try to get something done before I can't mentally take listening to her any longer.
Then, because she is tired, the rest of the day all she wants me to do is hold her while she whines. I put her down, she screams. I try to feed her. She screams. I try to put her to bed at night. More screaming. If DH goes in, she'll fall asleep in 2 minutes or less.
Husband has been working constantly for the past three weeks. Often not getting home before 10pm, and leaving before 4 in the morning. I know that he's exhausted so I don't want to ask him for help, but mentally, I'm beyond fried. I haven't showered in what feels like days, my house has exploded. Our marriage was already on the rocks, and this isn't helping that either. When DH gets home, I trudge out to the barn to ride, but that's getting to be more of a chore.
She is almost 10 months and in the midst of teething, which I'm sure doesn't help. I've tried giving her Tylenol, Orajel, Teething tabs, frozen things, etc. Her routine is always the same, and has been since day 1. She won't even sleep if I lay down with her or rock her. Won't sleep in the car. I feel like I've tried everything.
What is her schedule when there is someone else around to get her to nap? Is it the same as when you are trying to?
My youngest son moved to only one nap a day around 9-10 months...not typical, but some kids do that. I had to rearrange the whole day to accomodate that, lost any AM time to get things done and had to save it all up for his 1:00pm-3:00pm new schedule.
My dd would only sleep in her stroller or if I rocked her, for hours. I feel your pain, it was horribly annoying and made getting things done around the house much harder than it needed to be. Like the other poster, she only took one nap a day. Can you put her in a pack of some kind and just cart her around with you while you do your stuff?
It does get better, somewhere around your final straw.
Eta: Try singing.
Last edited by Crackerdog; Dec. 15, 2012 at 11:34 AM.
Reason: added thought
Been there done that, it sucks. Find a Carrier that you both like. I highly recommend kinder packs, but before I discovered them my dd spent hours in her Bjorne. At least then you can get things accomplished and once in a blue moon they do fall asleep in them. I second the pp that advised lying down with her. What I learned the hard way is that CIO just does NOT work for some kids no matter what technique you try. Usually I could get dd to sleep by lying down with her and then sneaking away. Good luck. It does get better.
OP... my son has finally started settling down at 15mos. Until two months ago he was waking up 8-10x a night as well as napping terribly. I had to walk with him for hours, rocking would not do. He once screamed a whole car trip for 5 hours, not happening. He is the sweetest child... just awful with car rides and sleep.
Have you tried lavender oil? How many books are you reading? My younger son (3mos) loves napping with lots of background noise. I just found that my older one loves me to sing to him... You Are My Sunshine really does the trick.
I think a big part of my issues with the older one is I feel a lot of pressure to get him to sleep... not just to get personal time but because it made me feel incompetent that he would not sleep (mine wouldn't for anyone else any better than me but still). I think that tension and anxiety was something he really sensed. Now I just take our going to sleep times as a chance to cuddle and enjoy him and hope for the best. Better for both of us.
I know how you feel. Since the Samuel Jackson book was amusing, you might like this too. NSFW, so viewer beware but be ready to laugh and nod and feel a little guilty. A little lullaby for your approval. I hate to say it, but it actually helps my spawn go to sleep because I've listened to it enough when I just needed to laugh or I'd cry.
I have no advice really , since you sound like you've tried all the usual suspects. I haven't had problems with the naps, but have had problems with bed time. I finally did resort to the putting him to bed and listening to ten minutes of crying, going in, giving a little soothing, and laying back down and going away for another ten minutes. It KILLED me inside. Eventually it worked, but sounds like you aren't having luck there. Your little dolly might just not be a day napper, but GOSH, you know when they are so cranky they just need some sleep.
So, I hope she grows out of it soon and is soon a snoozer, for your sanity.
(Flame suite on cause I know someones gonna scream)
One DD had this problem but she was a bit older like 13 months, I was preggo again and just needed a NAP. I would snuggle her up to my front wrap my arms around her let her lay her head on my arm and gently keep her there, she had room to move but not leave, in 2-3 min she was out. Yes she tried to leave every day but i just gently kept her there no throwing her down or holding tight, just loose. She stayed asleep for 2+ hours after. She stopped that stuff before DS was born and napped very well til she went to Kgarten, heck she still naps well. Shes 17 now and is not in therapy so I guess it was ok. lol I think at that age they just want to gogogo and not stop to take a nap. It will be over soon and there will be a new thing. Trust me.
“Management is doing things right; leadership is doing the right things.” Peter Drucker
I have two pieces of advice (3 kids, none great sleepers):
1. It feels like this stage will last FOREVER but it won't. I promise you in a month things will have changed to something else (let's hope better!).
2. You could read this book: http://www.amazon.com/Solve-Your-Chi...sleep+problems
(Ferber, Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems). Not everyone likes it; I did it with my first son when he was 7 - 8 months old (because I felt like you -- I was losing my mind), and it worked like a charm. You time how long you let them cry, so 18 years later, I still remember it took him 17 minutes of crying the first night, and about 5 the second night, before he was sleeping straight through. Well worth it!
Having said that I tried it with my second son and the technique did not work at all :-).
OP I never had kids, but have to respond as my boss is going through this exact issue with her 2 yo right now, and I can literally FEEL the stress in her when the kid isn't taking the nap.
Obviously I have no suggestions, just to let you know, you are obviously NOT alone!
This may not seem er, proper, to some, but I find I can make her laugh even when she's at her most stressed out exhausted when I bring up the tales of mother's snapping & doing insane crazy things to their infant toddler kids.
Of course the reality is a horror, but I think reminding her that she is not ready to put her kid in a dog crate in the garage, or glue her hands to the wall (all recently in the news!) she can realize she's not going as insane as other moms have, and she CAN cope with this for a few more years. I hear the 6-8 yo kid is the most fun stage, so focus on getting there so you can enjoy it thoroughly (to prepare you for the next awful stage, which I hear is 13-17! LOL)
Thank you all! I've always been good on little sleep, but this just has me batty. I think it's the stress of everything else, on top of this, which I'm sure doesn't help her as well.
I'm going to try ALL those, one of them has got to work eventually. JD that sounds like a great idea!
I don't know, LauraKY. I thought that I was doing everything the same. Perhaps because we play so hard during the time she is awake, she thinks of me more as a fun friend? I don't know. I just know that something has to change before I go nuts.