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  1. #1
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    Feb. 23, 2005
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    Default Being in the delivery room when you're not the one having the baby

    Both my daughters are pregnant....I almost wrote in foal oops...and both have decided that since I don't have any mares in foal I should be there when they delivered.

    Things have changed since I delivered them and I'm stressing out about this. What should I expect?

    Anyone have a pregnant mare I can buy?
    I wasn't always a Smurf
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    "I ain't as good as I once was but I'm as good once as I ever was"
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  2. #2
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    Feb. 14, 2012
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    While I have not been on the human catching end, I have caught foals and birthed a baby human myself 10 or so months ago... (holy crap)

    Your experience will probably be different with each of your daughters and their experience will not be the same as mine.

    My Mom was with me, and DH. My Mom ended up stepping into DH support role when he started playing Angry Birds through my contractions (men...). She filled in holding my leg while the nurse had things to do (I kept ripping off the finger thing) and she was a wonderful advocate of the things that I wanted. She was the voice of reason for me, when they told me to stop (WTF?!) pushing, and she coached me to breathe. She was, most importantly a calm, level headed presence for me.
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  3. #3
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    Jul. 20, 2007
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    I have been in delivery room twice- once in a regular hospital birthing room and once for a water birth at a birthing center. Both of them were for my SIL and the second one she asked me to photograph. Both were absolutely amazing experiences and I would definitely be there again if asked. It's like all the emotion and amazement you have when a foal is born multiplied by 10!!
    “While the rest of the species is descended from apes, redheads are descended from cats.” Mark Twain



  4. #4
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    Jun. 19, 2009
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    Is it possible to tour their hospital birthing wing with them before they deliver? That might make you feel more comfortable.

    I think it's pretty common now to do all the baby's care in the room with the mother right after delivery (assuming all goes well). When I delivered they only took DS to the nursery for a couple of measurements, then brought him back (after the first night-he had some complications so he spent his first night in the nursery).

    During the delivery the nurses and OB/midwife will direct you-they've done it plenty of times and can tell you just where you need to be and what (if anything) you can do. Mine were very gracious and encouraging and DH (only one in the room) did great with their guidance. If nothing else you can encourage your daughters and give them sips of water when they need it. If you have any questions-just ask!

    Be nice to the nurses-it will get you far
    the "I'm In My 20's and Hope to Be a Good Rider Someday" clique



  5. #5
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    Jan. 14, 2005
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    Aiken SC / Fay NC
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    Default

    Did it for a friend and..... Eeew.

    Never again. It also cured me from ever missing taking my BCPs.
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  6. #6
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    Feb. 23, 2005
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    Quote Originally Posted by sparky6 View Post
    Is it possible to tour their hospital birthing wing with them before they deliver? That might make you feel more comfortable.

    I think it's pretty common now to do all the baby's care in the room with the mother right after delivery (assuming all goes well). When I delivered they only took DS to the nursery for a couple of measurements, then brought him back (after the first night-he had some complications so he spent his first night in the nursery).

    During the delivery the nurses and OB/midwife will direct you-they've done it plenty of times and can tell you just where you need to be and what (if anything) you can do. Mine were very gracious and encouraging and DH (only one in the room) did great with their guidance. If nothing else you can encourage your daughters and give them sips of water when they need it. If you have any questions-just ask!

    Be nice to the nurses-it will get you far
    I'm in VA, the younger daughter is in MI. She has already delivered one baby there. The older daughter is only about 2 hours away so that would be possible.

    FWIW all 3 of mine were C section back in the good old days when you were lucky to have the father in the delivery room so this will be a totally new experience for me.
    I wasn't always a Smurf
    Penmerryl's Sophie RIDSH
    "I ain't as good as I once was but I'm as good once as I ever was"
    The ignore list is my friend. It takes 2 to argue.



  7. #7
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    Feb. 27, 2004
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    I wouldn't have wanted anyone other than my DH with me. I did not go to my daughter until they came home. I was there to meet them. Partly because it wasn't close and I didn't want to make two trips. She was a bit peeved that I didn't come to the hospital but understands now (both her dad and I work in hospitals, I jokingly told her we only sit around in hospitals if we are being paid). She was mainly upset because her DH left her alone afterwards with his parents who are divorced and do not speak to each other. Very uncomfortable. I tend to be the practical one. The other daughter hasn't had a child yet but has told her DH that she is taking his phone away because she doesn't want his family descending in mass when she's in labor. I think it's a time for the parents to bond together as family. That's just my personal feelings. I'm ready to be there when they get home with new baby. That's when I wanted help.



  8. #8
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    Feb. 23, 2005
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    Quote Originally Posted by hastyreply View Post
    <SNIP> I think it's a time for the parents to bond together as family. That's just my personal feelings. I'm ready to be there when they get home with new baby. That's when I wanted help.
    That's pretty much how I feel. Plus there is no way in H3!! that I would have wanted either my mom or MIL there with me
    I wasn't always a Smurf
    Penmerryl's Sophie RIDSH
    "I ain't as good as I once was but I'm as good once as I ever was"
    The ignore list is my friend. It takes 2 to argue.


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  9. #9
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    Feb. 20, 2010
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    I did it for my best friend. Her hubby was there too, but not allowed anywhere but at her head (he nearly fainted with the first baby). I mostly held her hand and asked if she wanted anything. When the active pushing began I helped support one of her legs (a nurse had the other) and gave some commentary as long as it didn't interfere with medical staff directions, and later I took pictures of the baby and the parents.



  10. #10
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    Dec. 31, 2000
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    Default

    If your daughters insist you be there, then go. But otherwise, I think only those involved in the conception should be there other than medical staff.


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  11. #11
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    Nov. 9, 2005
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    uk
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    i have been there for the birth of both my grandsons mickey now7 and charlie 8weeks old and i can tell you its brilliant its weird feeling watching your baby giving birth you want to do it for her, but all they need is re assurance and comfort and that she doing great helping with giving gas and air, or stroking her forehead, and generally just giving the comfort she needs and that everything's going to be ok
    i will say you been there and done it- it will come natural to you to know what to do and when x and will add its an honour to be there years ago men weren't allowed to watch or take part and the whole birth thing was tramatic at times then times changed and they was, and it sort of became a private thing between father and mother, and babies ere kept in hospital up to week if all was ok, and again not very pleasent expreince for some i know i was part of that some lol nowadays its all about comfort and stress free well as much as possible yu can babies in pools or home birth or any where you feel most comfort in and the delviery rooms have all mod cons, and all sorts of things to try and make it as pleasent and pleasurable as it can which now includes other family members like yourself or me
    so if you have been asked all i can say is go you will kick tyourself if you dont and will say this to, bonds are stronger when you do go, my grandson are thought in the same manner when i had my son and daughter they are the most precious gifts i have and to be part of that new life its truely amazing

    these girls of yours are the most precious things you have and you are there mum the only have one mum they love you so much they want you to take part this will then make you the most valued member of your family both as mum and as a nan a voice to be heard and one of the most respected members your lucky take this give of opportunity and make this new world for those babies of hope---courage, and most important love


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  12. #12
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    Nov. 2, 2001
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by carolprudm View Post
    Both my daughters are pregnant....I almost wrote in foal oops...and both have decided that since I don't have any mares in foal I should be there when they delivered.

    Things have changed since I delivered them and I'm stressing out about this. What should I expect?

    Anyone have a pregnant mare I can buy?
    LOL!!

    well, you can expect to sit off to the side, unless they need you to coach....

    You may - if the fathers don't want to get more involved.

    My mom was in the delivery room with me (after I got a bit nasty as SIL, MIL and I forgot who else showed up....'I should have sold tickets!' when over like a lead balloon! )
    Quote Originally Posted by Mozart View Post
    Personally, I think the moderate use of shock collars in training humans should be allowed.



  13. #13
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    Jul. 21, 2008
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    Surrey, UK
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    Default

    My DH, mom, dad and best friend were in the delivery room with me. It was a regular birthing suite at a regular hospital.

    Best friend showed up first, parked herself in a corner with her knitting and refused to leave. She was going to be there for me whether I threw my iPad at her head or not.

    My parents showed up next. Dad was moral support for DH, whose parents are both gone, and mom was moral support for me -- watching the contractions on the monitor, asking questions I couldn't think to ask and DH was too shell-shocked to ask.

    That's nothing compared to the parade in and out of the suite after the birth was done. My *entire* family -- aunts, uncles, cousins, et al. -- plus friends I hadn't seen in weeks, months, even YEARS turned up. It was a bizarre experience and at the time I remember being a bit annoyed about it and trying to hold on to the thought that I should be grateful so many people were thinking of me.

    If your daughters have decided they want you there when "foaling", then I hope you choose to be there. My mom was my strongest advocate during the birth as DH was shell-shocked and very emotional (MIL had only passed away weeks before) and having her there was a blessing. Obviously I could have done it without my mom, but I wouldn't have wanted to.


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  14. #14

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    Just make sure you have a box of tissues. You will need them.
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  15. #15
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    Jun. 14, 2006
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    VA
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    In what capacity do they want you there?

    I think that if you can stay on the "head" end (your daughter's that is), you'll be fine. But I don't think that most people really enjoy seeing the other end unless they are either A) very medically inclined and just don't think much of it or B) are the dad--even then, lots of men have a hard time later after seeing that.

    I'd find out in what capacity they wish you to "be there"....
    A good horseman doesn't have to tell anyone...the horse already knows.

    Might be a reason, never an excuse...


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  16. #16
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    Sep. 5, 2005
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    Mass.
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    YUCK! No thank you! It was gross enough giving birth myself twice; I do NOT, EVER want to be in the same room with someone else going through it. That's what the woman's husband is for!
    I realize that I'm generalizing here, but as is often the case when I generalize, I don't care. ~ Dave Barry


    3 members found this post helpful.

  17. #17
    Join Date
    Jul. 14, 2003
    Location
    MA
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    I've been at the birth of all sorts of animals and one human. My cat had kittens in bed with me. Piglets are the most fun.

    I was present at the birth of my goddaughter along with her father. The nurses asked who I was, and I said, "the lawyer." Nobody laughed.

    It was supposed to be in one of those special birthing rooms that they had in the 80s, but in the end, the mom to be spiked a fever, the baby's heart rate got too fast, and they started to whip out the heavy medical equipment. I felt in the way. It all turned out very well in the end, but I wouldn't do it again.

    But piglets? Count me in.
    "Against stupidity the gods themselves contend in vain" ~Friedrich Schiller



  18. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by Eclectic Horseman View Post
    I was present at the birth of my goddaughter along with her father. The nurses asked who I was, and I said, "the lawyer." Nobody laughed.
    I bet.



  19. #19
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    Feb. 23, 2005
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    Quote Originally Posted by Guin View Post
    YUCK! No thank you! It was gross enough giving birth myself twice; I do NOT, EVER want to be in the same room with someone else going through it. That's what the woman's husband is for!
    That's kinda how I feel about it. I suppose I should feel "honored" they want me there but to tell the truth there is NO WAY I would have wanted anyone but Mr P there when I delivered.
    And yes, I have been present when goats, sheep, dogs and horses have delivered, and it was neat
    I wasn't always a Smurf
    Penmerryl's Sophie RIDSH
    "I ain't as good as I once was but I'm as good once as I ever was"
    The ignore list is my friend. It takes 2 to argue.



  20. #20
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    Jul. 19, 2007
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    Well, I might want one of my best friends from college there...BECAUSE SHE IS AN OB/GYN WHO TEACHES FETAL AND MATERNAL MEDICINE AND SPECIALIZES IN HIGH-RISK PREGNANCY. I'd feel quite secure with her being there in her professional capacity. Otherwise, I cannot really imagine wanting anyone who wasn't directly involved in the medical procedures anywhere near me unless I got some really, really good drugs. Well, maybe my mother. (Then again, it is technically my fault she had a c-section, so..maybe not.) But unless the painkillers were incredible, the person responsible better be far, far away (ie out of range, especially if there are any surgical implements in the room.) I cannot imagine telling someone that I would be all right being present while THEY gave birth outside of some emergency, giving birht in the elevator kind of thing. I'm not a doctor or a nurse, I'm of no practical use.



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