I saw a couple articles over the weekend - one YouTube interviewing several professionals - regarding the use of psychotropic drugs. Don't have links at the moment and can't access YouTube - but VERY interesting and disturbing about what those drugs are KNOWN to do. If anyone's interested, I will find the links and share.
So, so much good input and great things shared in this thread. Thank you all.
I have some (relatively) mild depression that I take meds for and I stigmatize MYSELF over it. Even though I was feeling horrible, tired all the time, moody, angry, detached, lonely, and it was affecting my marriage, getting to the point where I could admit that I had a problem, an illness, that needed treatment was so, so difficult. I didn't want to be "crazy". I still don't want to be "crazy". The thought of talking to a counselor or therapist makes me slam on the brakes. Even though my meds have made a HUGE difference in how I feel and my ability to maintain relationships, I still don't like to admit that I have a "mental illness".
It is so, so true, as many posters have said, that mental illness is so difficult to treat, and even to accept the need for treatment, because it affects who you believe yourself to be, your very self, your essence. It's not like a physical disease where an organ or body system is out of whack and the obvious solution is to medicate, get surgery, etc. Mental illness and having to admit that there is something wrong with your brain is DEVASTATING to one's sense of self. It's admitting that something is wrong with who you are. And I think for many people who need treatment, that is the one massive roadblock that I don't think is ever going to change.
Proud member of the "I'm In My 20's and Hope to Be a Good Rider Someday" clique
And sometimes people...I, Arabiansrock...stay because we can be happy enough. I never expected HAPPY. I thought I could define what would make me happy but I was wrong. I have learned to be happy with what I have. I would prefer NOT to be his caretaker but that's what I was dealt. My marriage has its down side and there is an upside. I just wish there had been a diagnosis/understanding of his condition a long time ago. Could have saved a lot of pain. But like Ar said, they don't think they have a problem because they don't understand us so it must be 'us' that has the problem. The few times he tried therapy were dismal failures because the professionals weren't looking under the right rock.
So you're right...no one should say whether someone should stay or go. Who's to say what unhappiness is worse than some other. No marriage is perfect or 100% happy. Besides, I took vows. That trumps just about everything!
Originally Posted by Bluey
Many people live in co-dependent relationships their whole life and are fine with that.
No one else can say how others should live.
Maybe some like to be caretakers so much it fits them to be just that and where better than with someone that needs that kind of support?
Even in the best, most well adjusted lives, there is strife of all kinds.
Relationships and families are a juggling act with or without any pathology involved.
Who is to say from the outside what is "safe" or a bad situation?
Thanks Ezduzit, its helpful to know there is someone else going thru this. My DH is a good man, he just thinks differently than others. Literally. I don't stay for money, I make more than he does, but I took vows, in the church, and that means something to me. Also, its not like his diarhhea of the mouth happens every day. It is MUCH less often now that he is on antidepressants. And like I said earlier, he doesn't drink, smoke, do drugs, cheat, gamble or hit me. MANY so called normal men find those behaviors totally acceptable. I don't believe the perfect man exists, and at least I know the problems of this one, a different man would be better in some ways and not as good in others. Only a lucky few get to have their soul mate.