Today my sister would have been 54. She didn't make it to 49, and she died a tragic death trying to escape from an abusive husband. She was staying with me at the time, and although she wasn't a horsewoman, she spent a lot of time in the barn with me during those awful weeks before her death.
One of the last things she said to me was that she finally understood why I love being in the barn and around horses so much. She told me that while she was staying with me, she found peace and tranquility in the barn that she hadn't felt in a long time, and she hoped to keep horses in her life in the future. Coming from someone who was decidedly an indoor girl growing up, that meant the world to me.
My horses helped me survive her loss, and although it has been a long, tough road since her death, my family and I are doing well. However, when I went to her grave today to pay her a birthday visit, I discovered that someone had vandalized her grave for the third time in five years. Every momento, from the smallest seashell to the pottery marker I made with her initials, to the lovely (and heavy!) cement planter I placed there to mark her resting spot because her husband refused to buy her a headstone, was gone.
What kind of monster would do this?
The desecration of her grave brought back all the hurt, anger, and loss so strong, I thought I'd just lose it today. But I spent time with my horse, grooming him, fussing over him, working around the barn. I didn't even ride, but once again, he worked his magic, calming my anger and helping me sort things out and put things in perspective. What are a few momentos...they may be gone, but no-one can touch our wonderful memories of my sister.
Many hugs to you.
Losing a sister is rough under less trying circumstances.
Animals seem to possess the eternal wisdom of peace.
maybe to garner a little corner of the tranquil universe, you want to create your little memorial garden by the barn. That way no third party can destroy it.(but unless you have a rash of vandalism in your area, I think the answer as to 'who' is very simple)
many hugs and COTH size jingles.
Originally Posted by Mozart
Personally, I think the moderate use of shock collars in training humans should be allowed.
Thanks for the kind words and I am very sorry, for your loss, Munchingon hay. I reported the vandalism to the cemetery office this morning and in a sort of scary twist, he showed up where I work this morning. I hope it was a coincidence but wow. I needed some major horse time after that and once again, they came through for me this afternoon.
What a beautiful sharing and reminder of our special gift in life, our relationship with our horse. Your horse help you stay in control of what is truly important, our heart felt memories and nothing can change those experience, because they are true and real
I'm terribly sorry. All my animals give me peace in some way, I am glad that your sister had at least a little time with you and yours. I second creating a memorial garden or other space, somewhere private and protected. Her body was just a vessel for her use on Earth, it's not necessary to be where it was placed to remember her and honor her.
I lost my sister two years ago last month, to cancer. I don't know what I'd have done without my horses. Friends and family were all there for me, of course, but -
Horses have a way of keeping one right there in the moment, don't they? They provide a wonderful healthy space where, just for a while, yesterday and tomorrow don't exist. Only right this minute is real. It's a respite from the sadness.
"We're only trying to understand what you want, people. If we're not supposed to actually lunge at you, you need to name it something else." - Dear Murray