My helmet is gray and I would like to go with a charcoal jacket and gray pants. My trainer is German and has access to a shop in Germany that does custom riding coats. My color is purple, so I wanted to incorporate it somehow, either with the velvet collar, or with the lining of the jacket. Not to much, just enough. I am also considering dark navy blue jacket with the dove grey pants. All of this is inspired by my gorgeous gray helmet. I love that thing. LOL
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I don't think you can go wrong with well coordinated greys unless you were riding a palomino or a chestnut.
The lining of the jacket idea is great. It is still conservative enough to not get you marked down, but it lets you be a little creative. I have a friend who rides saddleseat, and her day coat and jods are a very deep eggplant purple(almost black). The lining of her coat is hot pink, and when her boy is really moving out the tails of her coat flap a little and you get just a flash of color.
Never approach a bull from the front, a horse from the rear or a fool from any direction.