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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Sep. 6, 2012
    Posts
    238

    Default Rehab.....help

    Help ...we are waiting for my husband to get called to go into rehab. He needs to go and wants to go right now, but, we want him to go before the disease starts tricking him into thinking he can drink again. Things are bad. Any help on getting things going sooner, payment or just experience?



  2. #2
    Join Date
    Nov. 1, 2007
    Location
    ....in a classroom in Fl, by the ocean
    Posts
    3,760

    Default

    I do not have an advice, but I am jingling for you.


    2 members found this post helpful.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Mar. 14, 2010
    Location
    Earlysville, Virginia
    Posts
    3,256

    Default

    I really don't know either, but am jingling for you.
    Charlie Brown (1994 bay TB X gelding)
    White Star (2004 grey TB gelding)

    Mystical Moment, 1977-2010.


    1 members found this post helpful.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Aug. 30, 2011
    Location
    Massachusetts
    Posts
    1,329

    Default

    Can you get him into a holding facility? He's going to detox right?

    Sorry your going through this, alcoholism sucks.


    2 members found this post helpful.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Aug. 30, 2011
    Location
    Massachusetts
    Posts
    1,329

    Default

    Actually, I do have an idea.

    Google alcoholics anonymous and your state. Under whatever district your town is in, there will be a meeting list. Drag his ass to a meeting first thing tomorrow am and tell every one at the meeting that he needs to go to detox. Local people will help you. Really.


    3 members found this post helpful.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Apr. 10, 2006
    Posts
    7,347

    Default

    Call Crisis Services.... or get him to an ER.... either way they should be able to point him in the right direction.
    We couldn't all be cowboys, so some of us are clowns.



  7. #7
    Join Date
    Mar. 28, 2002
    Location
    East of Dog River
    Posts
    5,699

    Default

    The AA website has listings for meetiongs everywhere, so find the nearest open meetings to you and take him to them. I suggest open meetings as family is allowed to attend, closed meetings are just that, closed (both AA and Al-Anon have closed meetings). Most open meetings have a speaker or two, and just listening to their stories may well help him through until he gets to rehab. There are also people there with an 'in' to detox facilities and are able to do a hurry-up for a bed someplace.

    For you - once he starts, do Al-Anon for you. It will help you understand the inner workings of us "drunks" and how to dissassociate yourself from the stuff the partner goes through during the rehab, and long after, processes. Disassociate, not withdraw; how to support and stop enabling, pull your personal feelings out of the mix but still be supportive. Not explaining very well but the best I can do.

    29 years and counting.......it IS possible
    Founder of the Dyslexic Clique. Dyslexics of the world - UNTIE!!

    Member: Incredible Invisbles


    29 members found this post helpful.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jul. 31, 2007
    Posts
    15,224

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Judysmom View Post
    Actually, I do have an idea.

    Google alcoholics anonymous and your state. Under whatever district your town is in, there will be a meeting list. Drag his ass to a meeting first thing tomorrow am and tell every one at the meeting that he needs to go to detox. Local people will help you. Really.
    True. Most phonebooks have numbers for a local AA office. Using that or the interwebz, you can almost always talk to a live person who can help you and DH find a meeting.

    Explain what you guys have going on and they'll get it.

    Definitely try to strike while the iron is hot and see if he is willing to go to an AA meeting.... in part because that will most likely be a really important part of his recovery after he gets out of the cocoon of rehab.
    The armchair saddler
    Politically Pro-Cat



  9. #9
    Join Date
    Mar. 14, 2010
    Location
    Earlysville, Virginia
    Posts
    3,256

    Default

    Sk pacer, that deserves a major shout out. 29 years. Here's hoping that the OPs husband can have the same success.
    Charlie Brown (1994 bay TB X gelding)
    White Star (2004 grey TB gelding)

    Mystical Moment, 1977-2010.


    3 members found this post helpful.

  10. #10

    Default

    sk-pacer I'm gonna give you a thumbs up...so you know :>
    Production Acres,Pro A Welsh Cobs
    I am one of the last 210,000 remaining full time farmers in America.We feed the others.



  11. #11
    Join Date
    Mar. 28, 2002
    Location
    East of Dog River
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    5,699

    Default

    AliCat - I won't say it was easy, that would be a lie. It took a lot of hard work and support from friends. One friend was a particular help - we both quit the same day and leaned hard on each other for several years; we also did this at the track, a place where booze is so happily condoned and freely offered. Regardless of the time put in, it is still one day at a time, and sometimes down to an hour or even less. This really can only be achieved when one is sick and tired of being sick and tired; it sounds like a trite platitude at best or a catch phrase at worst but for us, it is not, it is a lifeline.
    Founder of the Dyslexic Clique. Dyslexics of the world - UNTIE!!

    Member: Incredible Invisbles


    4 members found this post helpful.

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Mar. 28, 2002
    Location
    East of Dog River
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    5,699

    Default

    Thanks, Tamara.

    Just hoping I can pass along something to help the OP and give her hope it can be done. The program states the only way it works is to pass it on, and that also is a truism for us.

    Ya know, it took me almost 20 years before I could manage a licenced dining room/restaurant with the exception of two places where the owners knew and would park me in a corner well away from the bar. Acquired a huge fondness for buzzard......er KFC over those years.
    Founder of the Dyslexic Clique. Dyslexics of the world - UNTIE!!

    Member: Incredible Invisbles


    1 members found this post helpful.

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Mar. 22, 2012
    Location
    Houston Area, TX
    Posts
    108

    Default

    I second AA for hubby and Al-Anon for you - don't drag him to AA if he won't go, but get your rear into Al-Anon for yourself.



  14. #14
    Join Date
    Feb. 25, 2012
    Location
    Montana
    Posts
    2,461

    Default

    CONGRATS sk-pacer!
    right behind you, 21 years!

    As far as rehab, great that he is on the list, and waiting for a bed date I presume.

    Certainly meetings are tremendous help and he will get support, and even though he is about to leave,a sponsor. The thing about meetings, and getting a sponsor, are that they will keep him busy and gtive him a ton of support! He will get a chip for 24 hours (and a month, six months etc, very reinforcing!) The worst thing is long periods of unstructured time! Some people find it helpful to write their list of the crap that happened as a result of their drinking, so they can be prepared when their brains tell them things like, "it wasnt' so bad", "I can handle it", "I'll just drink wine/scotch/beer/alone/with friends/after midnight..whatever", "No one will know", "It's just one" etc etc. We are all very familiar with these and the list, which he can take out of his pocket and review, can be helpful -"oh yeah, when I drink $hit happens, rather than GOOD things happen".

    I love al-anon! I think they teach people to grow up. They certainly talk about how to love people who struggle with addictions and still stay sane and keep focused on our own lives.

    ITS A TREMENDOUS JOURNEY!! Much much better than we think it will be! you will be told this again and again but its helpful to remember that you certainly did not cause his drinking, you cannot control it no matter how much you love him, and you cannot cure him. As others have wisely said, if he doens't want to go, he doesn't want to go, but YOU go anyway, to al-anon. The disease is cunning baffling and powerful (and patient)-get allthe loving support you can!!!!


    9 members found this post helpful.

  15. #15
    Join Date
    Mar. 28, 2002
    Location
    East of Dog River
    Posts
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    Default

    Congrats to you too, lilitiger2. 21 years is great!!!!!!
    Founder of the Dyslexic Clique. Dyslexics of the world - UNTIE!!

    Member: Incredible Invisbles



  16. #16
    Join Date
    Jun. 11, 2006
    Location
    Berryville, VA
    Posts
    2,849

    Default

    My DH is an alcoholic. He has been sober for almost two years and is doing fantastic. Honestly, he went through rehab three times before it stuck. There was a major event in his life between the second and third rehab (all 30 day programs). The first two times he went, he was not ready to quit (although his family sure was!). I also have professional experience with this, since I'm an RN on a Behavioral Health Unit in a recovery town. Needless to say, we serve a large addicted population. What I have come to realize, there is usually a cause that leads to the addiction. My DH was a Medic for 18 years and ended up with severe PTSD from his job (for several years, he was on the SWAT team as well). The things he has seen are things the human brain is not meant to and over time, it became too much for him. Of course, this caused problems within the family which only increased his stress levels. In a little over a month, it will be two years since his life completely fell apart. However, everything had to fall apart for it to come back together.

    He is now sober, has custody of his daughter, has a career that he loves (equine dentistry), and every day, I am grateful for the person he has become. It has not happened over-night, but I can see a huge difference from even 6 months ago. He is kind, loving, and the type of person that I hope my son grows up to be like.

    Sean would get up-set if he knew I told his life story on here, but I feel it is a story worth sharing. For the first 18 months, he hit AA literally almost every day. I went with him to the open meetings to support him. It also helped me learn a lot about addiction.

    No matter what happens, please don't give up. The hardest thing to realize is the addict must be honest with themselves and they have to be ready to change. Until they are ready, no amount of rehab is going to make a difference. I am sending you thoughts and prayers during this difficult time. If you ever need to talk, please PM me.
    Boarding for Show, Pleasure, and Retirement horses. www.LockeMeadows.com


    7 members found this post helpful.

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