Thanks everyone. I just need to hear it. My friends all believe him that he wants to be different and maybe he will be so they don't break it down. I feel like if I was talking to one of them and they were doing this I would tell them to get out. For what it's worth, I do think he's trying to be different. He goes to therapy and is open with me about some of his past decisions and regrets. His first "relationship" was at 16 with a 36 year old married woman so he's been warped for a long time. I do think there has to be something really wrong however to continue to hurt people so deeply over and over again and I just don't see me being the last person he hurts. I know some downright questionably moral people but I've never seen anyone bring down others so badly in such a horrible way. You all are right. I know I should walk away now. I do care about him but he's a really messed up person. He must be so detached to be able to hurt people like he does and has. I guess there's a good reason he doesn't have any close friends. Thanks everyone and please keep commenting as you will. I really need to hear how stupid I'm being by giving such an ass hat so much power. I wouldn't deal with such bad behavior from my friends, why would I take it from a significant other? Someone said he probably gave the same lines to the other girls about wanting to be different. I honestly don't doubt that deep down. Thank you.
Or use a fake name. Let's not be naive here. I have a good friend whose FB name is "Chive On" for whatever reason.
Totally agree with the Facebook thing. This is how I found he had a girlfriend. When we first went out he wouldn't accept a friend request from a mutual friend who is a little closer to me than him. His real gf of course had tagged him in different places so that's how he hid it. Basically saying he wasn't really on it that much, didn't pay attention to it, etc. that's how the FB thing came into play. Now he's just totally closed the account. I assume because its easier to hide.
T For what it's worth, I do think he's trying to be different. He goes to therapy and is open with me about some of his past decisions and regrets. His first "relationship" was at 16 with a 36 year old married woman so he's been warped for a long time.
Well, so he's going to therapy? And his first "relationship" was with a 36 y.o. married woman? It makes me wonder about his family history, what happened to him when he was younger, was he sexually abused?
If you really see potential in him, and he continues to go to therapy and is understanding that he has issues, then perhaps he is worth a chance. But it's a big risk. As soon as the going gets tough, as it does at some point in every relationship, he may revert back to his old behaviors.
Hopefully the therapy is 100% his decision and commitment, whether you were in his life or not, maybe that means he really hit bottom in terms of his relationships and is ready to change.
Well if you want to date a whore and hope he changes his whorish ways it's on you. At least you're jumping in with eyes open so later when he screws you, and not in a good way, you won't be surprised right?
He is total garbage! Quick! Hide him on my trailer (Petstorejunkie).
This sounds a lot like my ex who I just finally dumped. He has an addiction to cruising the internet to find women. He goes to Websites like www.justhookup.com, www.hornymatches.com or www.cougarlife.com, sets up a profile and starts erotic e-mail exchanges with women. He'd send naked pictures of himself to them. He claimed he just did it for entertainment, but he got caught meeting these women. This past valentine's day he went out with one of them instead of me and lied to my face about it. He said he went to spend time with his godson and then went home and went to bed. One time, we were out to dinner with his parents and he got caught texting a woman right in front of me.
His first sexual experience was with a hookup he met online. He went over to her house, banged her and left so it's a deeply ingrained behavior. Prior to meeting me, he admitted to having several F*&K buddies, some of whom were married. He has shown a solid pattern of behavior for over a decade.
I spent 4 years with my loser and those are years I can't get back. He will not change his behavior. He will cheat on you. If he's working with a therapist the therapist will tell him that this is par for the course in his rehab that his past will make people uncomfortable. His therapist will work with him on change. It is not your job to do that.
I'm with the folks here who are saying to cut and run. This won't end well. They never do. Easy for us to say;we went through it. And I know it's wicked hard to do it when you are the one in it. Especially if you get caught in that screwed up cycle where it becomes almost a contest between you and the other woman (or women).
He will do it again. No doubt about it. Get out now and find someone who you can feel good with, right with. You'll see the difference.