I stopped participating in "The holidays" years ago, and now I really enjoy thanksgiving- 4 whole days of doing whatever I want! but I still hate x-mas. Even if you don't celebrate it, it gets shoved in your face and messes up your life for weeks- you can't go in the stores to get things you need, like emergency duct tape, without being trapped in gigantic masses of crazed x-mas shoppers; you get carols blasted in your ears and bells rung at you until you're about ready to commit santa-cide; you can't drive anywhere because of traffic jams composed of crazed shoppers; and people insist on giving you junk disguised as gifts, which you have to pretend to appreciate, and they try to feed you unhealthy junk food and get mad when you decline, and you have to listen to your employer feed you bullshit about why they can't give you a bonus or raise yet again this year (oh, it's the economy) while you pointedly stare at the very expensive new office furniture they bought the execs this year.
I love the holidays except the family part!! My family is all over the country so I don't celebrate with them but my inlaws live here. They are nice enough people but one can only take so much. My MIL loves Christmas (and so do I) but we end up having to celebrate it 4 or 5 different days. I finally told her and my husband that she can have us one day and that is Christmas Eve. Christmas Day is ours to celebrate at home and eat what we want. She didn't like it at first but I think that she realizes that I can pull the plug on everything if I want too I like Christmas much better now!
RIP Sucha Smooth Whiskey
May 17,2004 - March 29, 2010
RIP San Lena Peppy
May 3, 1991 - March 11, 2010
I have been made to hate the Holidays basically due to the expense! I get invited to all these work/barn/ friends etc. Christmas parties and get $20ed to death! It's mostly work people but it just gets out of hand! I totaled up a few years ago all the $ it would cost to go to all these parties that did not include close friends or family and it was over $200. I JUST DON'T HAVE IT!!! for those of you who have quit celebrating how do you say NO!
I just recently told a co-worker NO to $5.00 for a co-worker that was retiring, they also wanted $5 and bring a finger food the next week for the Assistant manager who was recently promoted, and I also spent $7 for a Thanksgiving lunch for the
I used to love them, until I moved 6 hours away from my and my husband's relatives...now we are expected to schlep up there every. single. holiday. No one ever wants to put out the effort to come to us, so I've put my foot down. We'll come up for a weekend "around" the holidays, but we're not spending the extra money for a holiday travel plane ticket (we both work 60 hours weeks, so we have to fly) and when the travel happens, my husband goes to deal with his family (drama) and I hang out with mine (no drama). We see each other every day, a few days at different houses a mile a part is no big deal. We stay in my bedroom at my grandpa's house, which is pet-free (MIL has 2 cats, we're both allergic) and we'll grab breakfast in the mornings with my grandpa (because MIL doesn't roll out until 10am). It works out.
Once we have kids, it will be "come to us if you want, the holidays are here!" The only family left is my grandpa and my MIL, and the sisters-in-law...one of which already lives near us. After 15 years of doing multiple holiday dinners just to make everyone happy, I'm finally establishing some boundaries and we're happier for it.
"Look, I'm trying not to test the durability of the arena with my face!" (Because only GM can do that.)
I wish there wasn't so much pressure to have a big to-do ON the very day of the holiday. I could see MrB's family (who live an hour and a half away) semi recently, but I get the strong impression that it wouldn't "count" if we didn't go for christmas or thanksgiving... or both. And MrB is an only child and I feel guilt for taking away their son on the holiday.
I donno. I think the holidays just brings out the differences in family lives (values, traditions, our own sense of what is 'normal')....
I enjoy spending time with them, but they just aren't MY family, ya know?
(A decidedly unhorsey) MrB knocks over a feed bucket at the tack shop and mutters, "Oh crap. I failed the stadium jumping phase."
(he does listen!)
For those who have seen my other thread, we (husband, son and I) are thinking of running away this year for Christmas.
My family has totally gone crazy. Growing up and until last year Christmas was the best time of the year...very magical. All of the family came together. We ate, drank and were merry.
Then my father passed away and drama took over. Everyone is fighting over bedrooms, houses, other family members, etc. I can't believe the drama. I feel SO bad/sorry for my mom. She's right in the middle trying to keep the peace.
Husband and I are the only ones with jobs; rest are retired or unemployed. Everyone else lives fairly close; we live 2000 miles away. WE are the ones expected to travel to THEM.
We want to forget what Christmas has become and celebrate ourselves on the top of a ski slope and ski all Christmas Day.
Have not yet figured out how to tell my mom yet. We will definitely be the family outcasts and hated for some time to come.