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  1. #21
    Join Date
    Sep. 13, 2000
    Location
    Greenville, MI,
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    12,239

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    Quote Originally Posted by Lady Eboshi View Post
    Grinch here! Walked into the pet supply today and they're BLARING "Deck the Halls." I said to the checker, "You ARE aware that music can induce homicides when played a whole month early, RIGHT?"

    To me the whole idea of obligatory "joy" is right up there with "coerced volunteer." Phony city!

    The other thing I detest is all the cheap, tacky, artificial CRAP you have to wade through in every single store to get the normal stuff you need. Who BUYS this junk, really?!
    LOVE IT!!! Too true!
    "you can only ride the drama llama so hard before it decides to spit in your face." ?Caffeinated.


    3 members found this post helpful.

  2. #22
    Join Date
    Oct. 25, 2012
    Posts
    5,007

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    One thing that always strikes me as a little cross-fired is that all this "mandatory" extra work, emotional stress and arduous travel to see people whom you don't necessarily even like, comes at EXACTLY that part of the year that induces "seasonal affective disorder."

    In other words, what you WANT to do is go to bed early, sleep late, chill out, and consume excessive caffeine preferably with a side of chocolate.

    Seems every tribe has it's "reason for the season." At the end of the day, what it's REALLY about is the sun turning the corner . . .


    8 members found this post helpful.

  3. #23
    Join Date
    Aug. 14, 2000
    Location
    Rochester,NY,USA
    Posts
    7,535

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    Yep, as far as I'm concerned, holidays do not exist. It's just another day to get up, feed the horses, clean what they have done either in their paddocks or stalls, feed the dog, clean or do whatever needs to be done. Sometimes I'll just read a couple of chapters in a book or watch some TV.

    As long as I don't have to deal with famdamly, it's a great day. I gave up Christmas in '05 with the family(brother and cousins and their kids) and it's one of the best decisions I've ever made.

    Maybe I'd feel differently if any of the famdamly lived close and we got together with some frequency but none do. Some are in AL, KS, NC, and Venezuela and the only time I would see them was for X-mas. I got tired of spending thousands between gifts, air travel, hotels, meals, and paying someone to care for the horses and dog while I was gone only to receive re-gifted crap from my cousin. She used to brag about recycling gifts. Yes, I could tell easily as she and I have pretty much the same taste so when I'd get something completely off the wall, I knew it was something someone else gave her. One year she even gave me back a gift I had given her a yr before. Guess she decided she didn't like a cable knit turtleneck. I finally called her on it the last yr I joined famdamly. I suggested that she make sure she keeps the name of the person that gave her something with the item so she didn't give it back to the same person like she did with me.
    Sue
    Back in my day, we didn't have as many warning labels because people weren't so dang stupid!


    2 members found this post helpful.

  4. #24
    Join Date
    Feb. 23, 2005
    Location
    Spotsylvania, VA
    Posts
    13,650

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    Holidays are much better with BOUNDARIES.

    I participate in the holidays on MY terms and make no demands on anyone else. Well, at least none that I think are burdensome. My recently acquired son in law is from France so they came up relatively early on Thanksgiving day and we went to Wegman's for last minute supplies. He was given the menu and told to pick out wine and cheese to compliment it. He is gradually coming to the realization that it IS possible to eat according to his standards in the US. I am sorry my 4 month pregnant daughter had to drive home with the stinky cheese he bought though.

    Our other daughter and her almost 4 YO and 1 1/2 YO had to drive from MI to GA to satisfy the demands of DH's mom. She's 6 months pregnant.

    For Christmas I will not be paying a call to Mr P's brother and sister, nor are they welcome here. Because he is busy and tends to overspend I will buy gifts for them over the internet, using Cabela's points. I am resisting the temptation to be as tacky as Mr P's sister, for HIS sake, not hers. MSJ, last Christmas that SIL regifted me the tote with a golden doodle I had made for her the previous year. I have dachshunds.

    Most of the presents are purchased on line and shipped directly to the recipients. Our offspring will be here for New Years Eve and I'm considering stocking stuffers. Or not. We have given the MI crew plane tickets and anything we give them needs to be portable enough to go back with them.

    Peace over the holidays has been evolving....I think after 42 years we've gotten it right.
    I wasn't always a Smurf
    Penmerryl's Sophie RIDSH
    "I ain't as good as I once was but I'm as good once as I ever was"
    The ignore list is my friend. It takes 2 to argue.


    2 members found this post helpful.

  5. #25
    Join Date
    Mar. 12, 2006
    Location
    Ocala
    Posts
    1,305

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    I just pretty much ignore from Thanksgiving thru New Years,and I avoid going to town at all costs. I know the back way to Publix and the feed store. And I had the reason confirmed when they interviewed a bunch of people on Black Friday as to what they were buying, and they were buying things for.....themselves. Ah, the joy of giving.


    3 members found this post helpful.

  6. #26
    Join Date
    Feb. 8, 2008
    Location
    Delaware Valley
    Posts
    1,799

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    Hate is a strong word, but lets just say I would be much happier without them


    4 members found this post helpful.

  7. #27
    Join Date
    Feb. 8, 2008
    Location
    Delaware Valley
    Posts
    1,799

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    Yay, I get my first negative rating


    6 members found this post helpful.

  8. #28
    Join Date
    Oct. 30, 2012
    Location
    Central Ohio
    Posts
    20

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    What Carolprudm said about boundaries. I'm finally in the position to set some with my elderly mother now that she lives in the same town we do. This will be the first Christmas in over 30 years that she will not be visiting and therefore staying in my house. I cannot tell you how utterly relieved I no longer have her has a house guest over the holiday. Even so, she wanted to stay overnight on Christmas Eve and then all day on Christmas Day. Nope, I said. Now that you live here, it is no longer necessary.

    As my former therapist who is Jewish used to say, "You Christians are so weird about Christmas."


    2 members found this post helpful.

  9. #29
    Join Date
    Aug. 5, 2006
    Posts
    5,046

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    I don't hate them..I just don't do anything to celebrate them. This year, I'm playing in a church orchestra for their Christmas Service...and that's all I'm doing. My husband's parents are both gone now and my entire family lives 12 hours away. I stay away from stores from the day after Thanksgiving through New Years. This is the time of year where too many people become greedy assholes..all fighting over a bunch of junk. No thanks, I'll just stay home.


    4 members found this post helpful.

  10. #30
    Join Date
    Jul. 11, 2004
    Posts
    6,991

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    I don't enjoy Christmas very much. Not so much for the commercialism but the crowds and rude people. I don't have any kids in my circle of friends I buy anything for so that's simpler.

    I give gifts to people that I want to, not that I "need" to. Some friends don't give gifts and they don't get them in return. It's simple. I don't waste emotion when it's not necessary. Life's too short.
    "Sic Gorgiamus Allos Subjectatos Nunc"


    1 members found this post helpful.

  11. #31
    Join Date
    Nov. 9, 2011
    Location
    Island of Heart Surrounded by the Sea of Intuition
    Posts
    212

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    I have been made to hate the Holidays basically due to the expense! I get invited to all these work/barn/ friends etc. Christmas parties and get $20ed to death! It's mostly work people but it just gets out of hand! I totaled up a few years ago all the $ it would cost to go to all these parties that did not include close friends or family and it was over $200. I JUST DON'T HAVE IT!!! for those of you who have quit celebrating how do you say NO!

    I just recently told a co-worker NO to $5.00 for a co-worker that was retiring, they also wanted $5 and bring a finger food the next week for the Assistant manager who was recently promoted, and I also spent $7 for a Thanksgiving lunch for the
    whole unit.
    The Love for a Horse is just as Complicated as the Love for another Human being, If you have never Loved a Horse you will Never Understand!!!


    2 members found this post helpful.

  12. #32
    Join Date
    Aug. 14, 2000
    Location
    Rochester,NY,USA
    Posts
    7,535

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    Quote Originally Posted by Crazy4aOTTB View Post
    for those of you who have quit celebrating how do you say NO!

    I just recently told a co-worker NO to $5.00 for a co-worker that was retiring, they also wanted $5 and bring a finger food the next week for the Assistant manager who was recently promoted, and I also spent $7 for a Thanksgiving lunch for the
    whole unit.
    There, you see you said NO and the first few times it's the hardest. After that it's very easy to say No, Nope, Nada, etc.
    Sue
    Back in my day, we didn't have as many warning labels because people weren't so dang stupid!



  13. #33
    Join Date
    Jan. 6, 2003
    Location
    CT
    Posts
    3,551

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    Quote Originally Posted by Discobold View Post
    Yay, I get my first negative rating
    Yup... I got 4 for my "Trail Ride" comment.

    CONFORM!
    CONFORM!
    CONFORM!


    2 members found this post helpful.

  14. #34
    Join Date
    Feb. 23, 2005
    Location
    Spotsylvania, VA
    Posts
    13,650

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    Quote Originally Posted by Crazy4aOTTB View Post
    I have been made to hate the Holidays basically due to the expense! I get invited to all these work/barn/ friends etc. Christmas parties and get $20ed to death! It's mostly work people but it just gets out of hand! I totaled up a few years ago all the $ it would cost to go to all these parties that did not include close friends or family and it was over $200. I JUST DON'T HAVE IT!!! for those of you who have quit celebrating how do you say NO!

    I just recently told a co-worker NO to $5.00 for a co-worker that was retiring, they also wanted $5 and bring a finger food the next week for the Assistant manager who was recently promoted, and I also spent $7 for a Thanksgiving lunch for the
    whole unit.
    The first time you say NO often happens when you are pushed beyond your limit. For me it always seems to involve the in laws but finally Mr P is getting fed up as well.

    Be prepared to just say NO, not "No I'm sorry but...." as that opens up the possibility that you may change your mind.
    I wasn't always a Smurf
    Penmerryl's Sophie RIDSH
    "I ain't as good as I once was but I'm as good once as I ever was"
    The ignore list is my friend. It takes 2 to argue.



  15. #35
    Join Date
    Jul. 5, 2007
    Location
    Beside Myself ~ Western NY
    Posts
    7,339

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    I love the Holidays, but I admit I celebrate my own way.

    I do NOT shop. Maybe some thoughtful little gifts here and there for people who need a little uplift, but that is not much different from what I do year around. I REFUSE to get caught up in the American idea of Christmas.

    I find the "Let's put the Christ back in Christmas" a load of crap and consider these people to be ill informed on world history.

    I decorate like a mad woman with evergreen garlands and play winter theme songs. I totally get the whole yuletide and celebration of the return of light concept. I feast, I make merry, I celebrate. I mean, what else are we going to do during the darkest part of winter?
    Why is it that a woman will forgive homicidal behavior in a horse, yet be highly critical of a man for leaving the toilet seat up?
    ~ Dave Barry


    4 members found this post helpful.

  16. #36
    dghunter_Elf Guest

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    I am an elf. I love the holidays! I like shopping (luckily it is not too much of a financial strain for me, though I do tend to wince when I look at the totals). I usually don't travel, but this year my dad is 80 and he wanted me to come out, so off we go (much warmer where he lives so that is a plus). Favorite music is Celtic holiday stuff, Dave Brubeck and Peanuts Christmas. I have a Pandora station I play from today through the end of the year (but I still consider homicide over some of the stuff in stores). Not Christian, so none of that to consider, but eggnog is most excellent, little lights in the dark so pretty, and much of the real spirit still persists among those I know. I'm lucky! Hope for those of you that are stressed by the holidays, you can find ways to adjust, to say no, to compromise, and to enjoy


    2 members found this post helpful.

  17. #37
    Join Date
    Jul. 5, 2007
    Location
    Beside Myself ~ Western NY
    Posts
    7,339

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    I've been thinking about how I handle the holidays. My husband hates them. He suffers through my enthusiasm. But he's right, you just can't do EVERYTHING.

    I am an organised list maker. I have spreadsheets listing all my decorations and where they go. Schematics for putting up the outside lights efficiently. Grocery lists, and address lists and lists of cookie recipes that everyone likes. BUT, I don't do all of this every year.

    Every November I emerse myself in my spreadsheets and determine what extras I want to deal with and what will make me happy.

    Last year I put up outside lights and baked dozens and dozens of cookies for gifts, but I blew off the handmade wreath for the office door and the pets didn't get squat in their stockings (they didn't notice).

    This year, I'm ditching the outdoor lights, the cookie boxes and cutting back on the greeting cards but I'm buying a real wreath for the office. I took the time to clip some hair from my mother's ailing horse's tail, and she is getting a horsehair bracelet which will be special, but it's "from" him, not me.

    It's all about time management. I have a plan.
    Why is it that a woman will forgive homicidal behavior in a horse, yet be highly critical of a man for leaving the toilet seat up?
    ~ Dave Barry



  18. #38
    Join Date
    Apr. 15, 2008
    Posts
    3,240

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    -raises hand-

    my brother and SIL just got me and my sister TWO HUNDRED DOLLAR cases of wine for our birthdays ! A) i don't really drink and, B) i hope they realize i'm only spending $50 on them for christmas, regardless.

    they may be doing layoffs at our office next year; nobody outside of family's getting anything from me, and that under duress.



  19. #39
    Join Date
    Nov. 17, 2010
    Location
    NoVA
    Posts
    79

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    I used to love Christmas. I love time with my parents, and being together, and having Christmas dinner, and exchanging little gifts with each other. It was fun and magical with the lights and decorations, hot coco, hot cider.

    Then I was introducted to a whole other world of Christmas via my husband and his family. They have the expectation that my husband needs to spend lots of money and buy lots of stuff for them. And he grew up this way, so he obliges them So every year it's a fight with my husband not to overspend. He's become better in the sense he's not spending upwards of $300 a person anymore... now it's like $100 which I think is way way too much. To make it worse, they complain if it's the wrong present! I hate how materalistic it is...

    I absolutely hate shopping, and when we visit, that's all the family wants to do. How much stuff does one person need?!

    I just wish for a Christmas where we can just be a family, visit together, perhaps play some games and there's no snarky comments, and mean behavior.

    Which is why I try to go to my parent's house for Christmas every year


    1 members found this post helpful.

  20. #40
    Join Date
    Jun. 14, 2006
    Location
    VA
    Posts
    11,372

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    I think I started disliking Christmas especially when I no longer lived in the same state as my family AND as the oldest and the one w/ the job, became the primary shopper to everyone, from everyone, and often ended up paying for it all too. Oftentimes, getting nothing (as far as a gift) in return. AND "getting" to buy all of the food and beverage AND cooking the dinner. All of this while flying in on Christmas eve. It just got to feeling yucky to me and all about spending money and feeling harried.

    It's better now because I don't do that so much. I go home once a year in the summer if possible, throw a bit BBQ so I can see everyone at once on my time rather than trying to jet back and forth, and burgers on the grill are a heck of a lot easier and cheaper than steaks or turkey dinner.
    A good horseman doesn't have to tell anyone...the horse already knows.

    Might be a reason, never an excuse...


    1 members found this post helpful.

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