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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct. 15, 2001
    Posts
    4,701

    Angry I truly hate the holidays... anyone else?

    I mean, I seriously hate the holidays. I hate the expectations, the travel, the materialism, the "together time." In the little free time I get away from work, I'm expected to pay insane amounts of money to schlep hundreds or thousands of miles away to my mom's house or my MIL's house where there is guaranteed to be terrible cold weather, cats that I'm allergic to, doors that get left wide open in 20 degree weather so the cats came come in and out as they please, family schedules to adhere to, etc. My husband LOVES the holidays and family-togetherness, when all I want to do is have a little quiet time at home with the dog, or some spare time to spend at the barn.

    This time around, I'm 4.5 months pregnant, we are at my MIL's house, and after 2 days of constant exposure to her, last night she comes down with the death flu. High fever, chills, cough, aches, the whole nine yards. Can't wait for the joy that must be coming down with the flu during pregnancy...

    Yes, I am a grinch. I foresee a very quiet Christmas spent with the dog and takeout Chinese. I can't wait.


    16 members found this post helpful.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan. 6, 2003
    Location
    CT
    Posts
    3,414

    Default

    Couldnt' agree more. Best Thanksgiving I've ever had in my life was where I got lost in Pound Ridge Reservation on a 4+ hour trail ride.


    7 members found this post helpful.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun. 20, 2010
    Location
    Madisonville, TX
    Posts
    550

    Default

    Nope, don't hate them. I can't be bothered to upset myself over it.

    I just stopped celebrating them (for many many reasons). Wah-lah, my life is much happier and stress free.

    ~ The Goat Whisperer
    Website


    5 members found this post helpful.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Sep. 13, 2000
    Location
    Greenville, MI,
    Posts
    11,811

    Default

    I hate what the holidays have become..
    PEople insanely shopping and seeing how high they can run up their credit cards, all the while being rude and nasty, Yeah, that is the spirit of Christmas.

    Edited to add, in total agreement with Epona. I do not celebrate anymore either. For numerous reasons, and it is very nice to not feel the stress.
    I will however do things for people in a gesture of kindness.
    Last edited by Sannois; Nov. 24, 2012 at 06:20 PM. Reason: Add something
    "you can only ride the drama llama so hard before it decides to spit in your face." ?Caffeinated.


    4 members found this post helpful.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Feb. 4, 2006
    Posts
    2,954

    Default

    I have found the key is spending it with people you really like that you have no obligation to. Friends are the family you choose - my close family lives 500 miles away from me, and the rest on the opposite coast. I can rarely get away or afford to TBH...and I'm actually pretty cool with that. This thanksgiving I went to a friend's house (he's gay, and his family are crazy Jehovahs Witnesses that won't celebrate holidays). He invites anyone who wants to come to his annual misfit thanksgiving. The food was amazing, we all laughed so hard for hours. There was no crazy family, arguing, traveling, etc. IT WAS GREAT. I hope that someday everyone can put the kabosh on those obscenely stressful family gatherings for holidays and instead enjoy the kind I had.


    11 members found this post helpful.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jan. 16, 2003
    Location
    Tennessee
    Posts
    2,944

    Default

    Totally agree with you! Holidays can be wonderful, or they can be pure crap if you let them control your life. Since you are preggo, use that as an excuse to stay home at Christmas. Let family know in mid-December, and then stick to it. You're not going ANYWHERE. Hubby can go visit his family if he wants. You are parked on the couch knitting baby booties.

    I can't say I've ever really enjoyed the obligatory family gatherings, so we've opted out almost every year. Life is so much better and peaceful without driving, flying, spending, decorating and stressing.

    May you have a peaceful holiday season!
    It's 2014. Do you know where your old horse is?


    3 members found this post helpful.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jan. 9, 2009
    Location
    a little north of Columbus GA
    Posts
    1,910

    Default

    I canceled the holidays a LONG time ago. It was hard at first, my mom is really into it, but eventually I got her to stop sending stuff.

    Just say "No gifts please, we really have too much already." Over and over. If they insist, designate a charity they can donate to in your name.

    I don't go anywhere this time of year, though DH is welcome to travel if he wants to. I think he sends gift cards to his brothers' kids, but I don't get involved.

    Stress free!
    --
    Wendy
    ... and Patrick


    2 members found this post helpful.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jun. 24, 2005
    Location
    Alabama
    Posts
    8,355

    Default

    I agree with Epona. I just don't do anything at home, and find a reason not to go to other people's houses. I love the 4 days off with nothing to do, and time for me. I only do the bare minimum at work, and bought the tree and ornaments (quick deploy 3 piece prelit tree, I love those), from Walmart so we wouldn't get stuck with the moldy old stuff they have at work, and we just pop the tree together, slap the ornaments on, and toss the tree skirt around it. It looks good, dresses the place up, and takes about 20 minutes to take down, store, toss in the storage area, and move the table back. The customers care more about the candy bowls we keep year round, than the tree anyway.

    The big boss demands we do a restaurant dinner. I didn't go, and none of my co-workers did either (there are four of us at a separate location), but the big boss picked a mexican-imitation restaurant because a friend told her it was good. Never eat dinner at a place that's known for it's pool tables, and bar, and not it's menu. Everyone who went got food poisoning. This year they picked a place known for it's food, not it's bar, and I'm not going to that either.
    Last edited by JanM; Nov. 25, 2012 at 04:12 PM.
    You can't fix stupid-Ron White


    2 members found this post helpful.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jun. 14, 2006
    Location
    VA
    Posts
    11,372

    Default

    I really like Thanksgiving on MY terms. THe rest? Not so much.

    In fact, my husband is going home for Xmas and I'm staying here because i just don't want to deal with it and all that goes along.

    If I go back "home" with him, we'll be staying with his parents and my dogs will have to stay outside (in freaking DECEMBER) for 4 days ...screw that right there. THey are house dogs.

    Further, I don't want to drive 26 hours just for one dinner that I dread every year anyway. And further more? I don't want to drive back here with two teens in the car who have no sense of volume level plus 2 dogs.

    I'd be filing for divorce by the time we hit the Pennsylvania border.

    I'm staying home.
    A good horseman doesn't have to tell anyone...the horse already knows.

    Might be a reason, never an excuse...


    4 members found this post helpful.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Oct. 25, 2012
    Posts
    4,106

    Default

    Grinch here! Walked into the pet supply today and they're BLARING "Deck the Halls." I said to the checker, "You ARE aware that music can induce homicides when played a whole month early, RIGHT?"

    To me the whole idea of obligatory "joy" is right up there with "coerced volunteer." Phony city!

    The other thing I detest is all the cheap, tacky, artificial CRAP you have to wade through in every single store to get the normal stuff you need. Who BUYS this junk, really?!


    3 members found this post helpful.

  11. #11
    Join Date
    May. 11, 2010
    Location
    PA
    Posts
    856

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    In recent years, family gatherings require me to sit across from a verbally abusive family member while everyone pretends we all get along.

    This year I'm not playing that game which means I've probably pissed off my parents but so be it if it means I wont be attacked by a sibling.

    We went to a friends house for Thanksgiving and it was stress free. Good food, good people and football

    I love buying stuff for the little kids in the family, but feel it is so unnecessary for the adults to exchange. Unfortunately I'm still trying to navigate unchartered waters to get out of it without feeling bad. I'd love advice on that aspect!


    3 members found this post helpful.

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Jan. 28, 2003
    Location
    Hollywood, but not the one where they have the Oscars!
    Posts
    7,111

    Default

    Hate em....so far from what they were originally intended to be
    "You can't really debate with someone who has a prescient invisible friend"
    carolprudm


    4 members found this post helpful.

  13. #13
    Join Date
    May. 25, 2004
    Posts
    331

    Default

    I really enjoy the holidays! I didn't used to though. When I was in a bad marriage with TERRIBLE In-laws and a hubby who NEVER did my back, I HATED them. But I had a job where I would earn time and a half for working holidays. So, I made sure that I was the first to offer myself up to work those days. It was GREAT. I made more $$, lied to the family while acting all sad "Im so sorry, It sucks, but you know I have to work..." AND my coworkers LOVED me for it, as many of them wanted those days off from work. Win, win, win.


    8 members found this post helpful.

  14. #14
    Join Date
    Jan. 24, 2000
    Location
    Somewhere in the Midwest
    Posts
    2,081

    Default

    The biggest thing that bugs me about the holidays is that from Thanksgiving to New Years, it gives people an excuse to be worthless...you cannot get anything done, people don't follow up, etc....why? "I am so busy with the holidays!". What does that mean?! Busy doing what all day? It is just frustrating....I dread this time of the year.


    6 members found this post helpful.

  15. #15
    Join Date
    Mar. 4, 2004
    Location
    Louisville, KY
    Posts
    3,983

    Default

    I love the holidays, but my family all lives close, so not much travel involved. We're all pretty much adults too (only a couple of small kids on each side), with low expectations of lots of presents. In fact, we draw names on my dad's side of the family, and this year we've come up with the (I hope) fun idea of limiting the present for the other person to $20 only, and the present must come from Walgreens. So we shall enjoy our dinner and family togetherness while partaking of cheap cologne and chocolate.
    Caitlin
    *OMGiH I Loff my Mare* and *My Saddlebred Can Do Anything Your Horse Can Do*
    http://community.webshots.com/user/redmare01


    4 members found this post helpful.

  16. #16

    Default

    I hate the expectations that come with the holidays. I especially hate the fact that every effing year I'm stuck having to buy presents for my husband's large family because he's too lazy to do it. It's not the money, it's that I resent having to figure out what to buy for his relatives with very little input from him. So, today I suggested that perhaps HE put some thought into what to buy his relatives and he basically told me to shut up.


    3 members found this post helpful.

  17. #17

    Default

    They are not my thing. Hate? No. Love? NO.

    I'm not religious, and I usually end up picking up shifts from whatever place is need of me when others take time off. That's fine with me!!

    I also really dislike mindless consumerism and marketing for it all drives me batty. It's one of the reasons I stay away from tv/newspaper...but even so you still get sideswiped by advertising, whether it be junk mail or internet ads or billboards/signs. Yuck!
    “We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be.”
    Kurt Vonnegut, Mother Night


    2 members found this post helpful.

  18. #18
    Join Date
    Nov. 2, 2001
    Location
    Packing my bags
    Posts
    31,328

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Mozart View Post
    Personally, I think the moderate use of shock collars in training humans should be allowed.


    1 members found this post helpful.

  19. #19
    Join Date
    Apr. 20, 2011
    Posts
    753

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Prime Time Rider View Post
    I hate the expectations that come with the holidays. I especially hate the fact that every effing year I'm stuck having to buy presents for my husband's large family because he's too lazy to do it. It's not the money, it's that I resent having to figure out what to buy for his relatives with very little input from him. So, today I suggested that perhaps HE put some thought into what to buy his relatives and he basically told me to shut up.
    I HAVE to respond to this one, then I'll read the rest-- PrimeTime-- stop doing it!! honestly, just stop. I used to go thru this w/my hubs, and he has 5 brothers, with all sorts of extras. I drove myself NUTS because I took the responsibility on my shoulders. then I said, nope, no more. if you want YOUR family to get gifts, YOU figure it out. we've been together 25yrs now, and this was mannnnyyy years ago.... They didn't get any that year, and never since. He would never tell me to shut up, and I get the feeling you have WAY more going on, but still, tell him you're NOT doing it this year, and he better be ready to step up or explain if anyone says anything and then.JUST. DON'T. DO. IT. you will be amazed at the relief you'll feel!


    7 members found this post helpful.

  20. #20
    Join Date
    Apr. 20, 2011
    Posts
    753

    Default

    I don't really hate the holidays, I hate what it turns people into! I personally love the music, love the decorations! I went thru a lot of years when I put a ton of extra stress on my shoulders, taking on the responsibility of "just the right gift" for every single person. I would be sooooo excited when I found it, wrapped it, gave it and "oh, thanks". so I usually ended up disappointed, not only for the fact that no one did the same for me, but that what I thought was the perfect gift didn't get the response I expected.

    so I just stopped. I DON"T run around crazy anymore. I don't stay up all night making something for someone. I don't make travel plans-- if I don't want to-- some years I'm perfectly happy going out of town to be with husband's family.
    this year is going to be the best ever- I can already tell :-), we're going really small, as he's out on disability, we're only getting for the grandkids. We'll do smaller scale decorating, and I won't have to worry about lots of visitors as he can't be around any "new" germs, so that will keep away certain someones that we don't really care to visit with anyway..

    I really feel that most of the reason I hated the holidays for a while was that I put tons of expectation on myself-- I HAVE to do this, I HAVE to do that, because it's the HOLIDAYS!. like another poster said, it's all gotten so out of hand and away from the original reason for the holiday, I gave myself permission NOT TO. not to feel that I HAVE to, and I suggest you all try it.


    3 members found this post helpful.

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