Oof, my first. I had a feeling I would deliver early as NO one in my family goes full term. My sisters delivered their (big, healthy) babies at 37 and 38 weeks, and the baby born early at 34 weeks only needed a little help. My mother never went over with any of us, I informed my OB. Bah, it's your first, usually moms go over with their first.
Then at my 36 week appointment, he tells me I'm 3cm dilated and 70% effaced. I had NO idea and had felt NOTHING. Bah, he said, women can stay like this for weeks. I'm going on vacation next week, but I'll see you at your 38 week appointment. Yeah, you know where that was going--not so much.
When I was exactly 37 weeks, I felt uncomfortable cramping and went to the hospital. When I got there, I didn't really feel anything anymore and felt silly--they're going to send me home; this was false labor. Imagine my shock when they told me I was in labor and contractions were 5min apart. Whuh-HUH?
After several hours of no progress, I was offered Pitocin to augment the contractions--I could be stuck in labor like this for days. Um, no thanks, I'll take the Pit. Friends had warned how horrible Pitocin-augmented contractions were, so I was prepared--and felt nothing, really, just a metallic taste in the mouth. Hours go by, I get tired, I fall asleep, to the incredulity of my husband, nurse, and doula. I remember hearing through the fog a nurse saying, "Sleeping through Pit?? That's a first." I was still contracting, I was still progressing, and I was snoozing.
Then my water broke--and well, there was no sleeping through the contractions that came after that. Once I found a comfortable position to labor, I actually slept inbetween those horrid contractions. It was only toward the very, very end that the pain started to become unbearable; by the time I said I might be ready for some pain medication, I was told I was ready to push.
Then, apparently, I pushed too fast. Since my OB was on vacation, some other doc on call had been handling my case--but he was at another hospital. They tried to call him, but he figured I'd take a while. Um...nope. (Well, I did take a while--until the water broke.) I was pushing and making fast progress when the nurses tried to tell me to STOP pushing because they needed a doctor present. Seriously?? Hold him in? Are you nuts? I vaguely remember one nurse calling for an ER doc, STAT!, just to get someone with an M.D. in there. No can do--the nurse wound up delivering my son.
When the OB did show up, he was a bit of a jerk (to say it politely) and seemed annoyed I didn't wait for him, and seemed annoyed with the nurses they delivered my son. Jerk. Ah, but years later I learned--at least at that hospital, when an OB/GYN is not available to deliver the baby of one of their patients, and the doc on call doesn't make it there to deliver, the doc on call doesn't get paid--the assigned doc does. So Mr. Jerk didn't get paid--my OB did. (Why didn't the nurse?? She ruled.)
DD #1 took 39.5 hours. I had been stupid on Saturday night and played tag with my husband and my horse, thought my water was leaking so I went to the hospital to get it checked. Oh no, you're fine, they said. No baby for at least 2 weeks (I was 3 days over due anyway) they said. Go home. I did. Monday morning I was hurting bad, and the contractions were about 5 minutes apart. We lived with my folks, and my dh had gone to work. Mama called the dr who said it was nothing. My saint of a mother said very clearly and distinctly-you don't understand. WE are going to the hospital and YOU WILL meet us there, do I make myself clear? He met us there. Katie was not born until Tuesday afternoon. My contractions never did regulate. They would go from 5 min to 15 min then stop and start back.
DD #2 I was at the doc that morning and he said that if I had not gone by Thursday, he would meet me for an induction, and that I would have some cramping due to the check he did. Ok fine. My dh's great grandmas funeral was that day. It took 15 min for me to iron Bo's pants because of "cramping". I stayed home with my folks. Mama told Daddy to go take a nap, she figured I'd go shortly, and we could only hope Bo was home in time to take me. My 3 yr old tried to escape out the back door to her buddy next door. When I couldnt yell because the pain hit so hard, Mama did it for me, lol, yelling at Katie to get back up there right now, and for Daddy to take me to the hospital. 7 hours later, #2 was here.
#3 I had the flu, dh had pnuemonia, and spent most of the time in the waiting room. The nurses were more worried about him than me, lol..I literally coughed so hard my water sprung a leak. I took 2 doses of that codeine laced cough syrup and had a baby. 8 hours.
#4, my poor dh had just started the day before a new job. My doc had figured out that a. I hallucinate on stadol and pit b. I NEVER regulate and c. he'd best induce to get ahead of the curve. On Monday at 1 45 Jamie was head down and all looked good. At 8:30 the next morning, she had flipped upside down and put her ankles at her ears. They thought she was going to be over 9 # and since sometime in the night, I had dialated to a 5 from a 1 the day before, he was concerned. C section it was. She came out hiney first, tinkled on the doc, and weighed 7.5 #. I just looked at him hard and said I coulda coughed hard.
Son the Younger was a fast one on a very busy night - the nurses were pretty sure I would be a while, and I never felt the need for pain killers of any sort, but I had only a half-dozen transition contractions before I had to push - and I was being told not to. (And I'm with Lauruffian, by the way: how on G-d's green earth am I not supposed to push?????) They ran to grab a doctor of some kind, who managed to arrive on time to put on a catcher's mitt. Poor kid was bruised across his nose and forehead and I needed all kinds of stitches...felt like I was sitting on a hedgehog for a couple of weeks. Sad part was, they had no private room or bassinets available for my little baby, so I had to cuddle him through the night and my husband was sent home.
So, maybe not badass, but it certainly was an interesting evening.
Don't tell me about what you can't do. That's boring. Show me what you can do. - Mom
I remember a Reader's Digest story from years ago that was amusing. A lady gave birth to her baby in the hospital elevator, and she was very embarassed and crying about it. The nurse tried to comfort her by saying, "It could be worse, because last year a lady gave birth on the middle of the hospital lawn." The lady started crying harder, and said, "I know that was me too!"
And the women who give birth on the toilet or other unexpected places many times don't feel pain the way the rest of us do. I worked with a lady like that, and for her third baby they put her in the hospital for the last two weeks, because she lived far away from the hospital, and felt no pain. She actually had a major heart attack years later, and didn't know it until she had an ECG a few months later. She simply didn't feel pain very much, so she thought it was her annual bronchitis attack when she had chest problems one day, at least that was the only illness any of us could recall her having that winter.
SIL gave birth on her front lawn. On her feet. I had made a crack a couple weeks prior when she was freaking out about not knowing when she was in labor about "It wasn't like she was going to look down and go whoops there's a baby". Won't made that mistake again.
And one of the funny things about the whole situation - the hospital tried to bill the insurance company for a delivery room. My brother's response was something to the effect that if his front lawn was a delivery room he was going to start charging for the use of it.
My first took hours, so with my second, I wasn't too worried about getting into the hospital. Had breakfast, had a shower. Strolled in.
Well, then things progressed a little more quickly than anyone anticipated. I wanted an epidural but by that point it was already too late. I vaguely remember yelling at my doctor - very sincerely - CALL MY DENTIST, HE'LL FREEZE IT! CALL MY &^%^%$ DENTIST!!!!
First kid-handled the contractions just fine all day, progressing normally... DH went to bed b/c it was a Sunday night and he had work the next day. (or so he thought, really..?) Sat up timing and things were really rocking and rolling so I would call the nurses on shift at the hospital and they would have me wait until I had a contraction and talk to them. ok... and so I did and they would say "oh no, if you can talk through them that well then you aren't nearly close enough" so that went on until I decided to take a shower at about 3 am and I remember I lost my mind. I still have never been the same actually but I remember I went crazy and that was in the What To Expect When You're Expecting Book: that you'd lose your mind when it was close! So holy hannah, I got out of there and throw something heavy at sleeping DH and yelled at him "we gotta go!" and he was getting ready and all of a sudden I decided I had to bring my chickens some fresh water. Yes, I said I lost my mind. So off I go, with a big bucket of water to the chicken coop at 3:10 AM in big time labor (and DH standing by the car like REALLY???") and then I got hit with a big contraction. I dropped the bucket of water and headed for the car, chickens be damned. Got to the hospital, checked, and hello-I'm at 9.5 cm. I rose up out of my stirrups and indignantly defended myself: " I CALLED!!!" LOL Had a c-section at 7 am... surprisingly I have been hiding narrow hips under this big rear end all my life.
Kid #2 was a scheduled C that had complications and then my beloved epidural ran out. I went through the second half of the surgery with no pain relief and that was pretty crappy. We all ended up fine though and apparently I have a high pain tolerance.
Birth of my twin sons was epic. The night they were born, my husband and I had a rare dinner out and I even tried to choke down a cocktail (I know, bad, but it was a miserable pregnancy and I couldn't finish it.). Came home, extremely uncomfortable. Went to the bathroom, and blood gushed everywhere. It was an 80 percent detachment of the placenta. Ambulance called, and terrifying ride - I was in such bad shape the EMTs were trying to get IV into me during the ride. I remember them cheering when we arrived at the hospital.
My OB/GYN was pissed - it was 10pm on a Saturday night. When my husband called him, doc asked "describe how much blood - like a teaspoon worth?". My husband was like "Um... a lot of blood and placenta on the floor."
Arrived at the hospital with the staff waiting for me. I was rushed on a gurney to surgery. The nurses pushed my husband out of the room. Doc was pissed at me again when he asked when the last time I'd had anything to eat. Yep - had that dinner out a few hours early. Still they attempted to put me under. Both babies were flatlined at this point, so doc had to open me up without anathesia. Thankfully I don't remember much beyond that - they gave me a 'de-scrambling' narcotic afterwards to block the memory.
When my parents and in-laws arrived at that hospital, they were taken to the 'private' waiting room. My mother is a former obstetrics nurse, so she knew immediately what that meant - possible death of mother and/or babies. Not a good moment for her. And indeed, when doc finally went to speak with them, he said we all came within minutes of dying.
The epic part? My boys were fine and we were all released from the hospital within three days. I am a bad-ass! :-)
I was induced with Ella (membranes stripped) about a week prior to my due date. I felt contractions all afternoon but they were not painful at all. I made hubby paint my toes and shave my legs that night because I knew she was coming very soon. He didn't believe me but I made sure to drink lots of water as they have difficulty sticking an IV in me. Of course that made me pee, A LOT. Around 11pm I knew it was time, hubby wanted to sleep but every time I got up to pee the contractions were awful. Finally left for hospital, nurses didn't believe that I was in active labor so they put me in the observation room and I could barely walk. A nurse argued for me and they put me in a birthing room and admitted me. I kept telling them I was Strep B positive and needed antibiotics. No one listened. Then all of a sudden it was mad panic in my room. My water broke when the anesthesiologist sat me up to give me my epideral and I felt her head. They started pushing antibiotics in me like crazy and it burned my arm like you would not believe. My epi never kicked in and I screamed as she came out. I felt every bit of my supposed 6lb baby (measuring 2 weeks too small) who was actually 8lb 10oz and a week early. After I delivered I started shaking like crazy and would then pass out from exhaustion and then wake up a minute later. That happened for almost an hour. I recovered extremely quickly, had no tearing and was up walking around within 2 hours.
Hubby remarked that Ella's birth was a lot louder then Ethan's, my response was I felt everything and she was to be our last baby.
"The joys of motherhood are never fully experienced until the children are in bed" UK
Here's a bad-@$$ story that was on "Untold Stories of the ER".
So this woman goes into labor with her first child. Her husband drives her to the hospital in their brand new car. I'm sure you can tell where this was going. Things happen so fast that she doesn't make it into the hospital, she knows she is going to have the baby in the car in the hospital parking lot. While this is going on, her in-laws show up and the woman who is already crying says to her husband, "Why are your parents here with the video camera?!" to which her husband replies: "Well it's their first grandchild!" then she says: "Instead of helping me, you were calling your parents to come with the camera???"
The woman starts to yell and scream that she's about to have the baby in the car and she wants at least a bit of privacy and doesn't want her in-laws videotaping this whole thing. Well the baby finally pops out and the husband, instead of being excited, says "I can't believe you had the baby in this brand new car. Look at what's happened to the leather seats!"
The woman sits up and punches her husband in the face. He falls to the ground and has to be carried into the ER on a gurney.