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  1. #81
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    Oct. 15, 2011
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    Quote Originally Posted by GaitedGloryRider View Post
    Grandma? Is that you?

    I TOLD YOU! I ain't gettin' married and I ain't poppin' out no babies!

    Seriously though, what is it with people like you? You've got a good marriage, you're happy being a mother. Great for you. But why can't you accept the fact that not every person out there is going to find the same fulfillment out of the path you've taken in life?

    Believe it or not there are people out there, like me, who simply WANT to be alone. People who DON'T like kids. I sugar-coated it in previous posts but truth be told I can't stand kids. I find nothing, nothing at all, appealing about them. I'm uncomfortable around them, I have a hard time relating to them, with the exception of family I tend to avoid them.

    Some people don't need a partner in life to define their happiness either. Again, people like me. I've tried the relationship thing, tried like hell. Dated some wonderful guys along the way and I could have been married several times had it been what I truly wanted. It wasn't, I finally came to realization that I was just trying to do what was expected of me instead of following my heart. The heart wants what it wants, and mine wants to be alone.

    To me I find it pretty damn selfish (and presumptuous, and downright ballsy) for people like you to expect everyone else to follow your life plan just because that's what brought you happiness. Everyone is not you.

    If Isabeau or myself or any of the other single gals posting on this thread are truly happy with our lives just the way they are, single and sans child, then who the heck are you to tell us we don't know ourselves well enough to make that judgement call?

    I'm sure from that high horse you're riding on that makes us horrible selfish people who will live lonely and miserable existences. Oh well.

    Different strokes for different folks, ya know?

    And one more thing about your "selfish existence" comment...being unmarried and childless does not negate my or anyone else on here's ability to give back to our communities, our families and all the rest of the people around us any more that popping out some babies makes one a pillar of the community. That is the bitchiest comment I've seen in a long time on here.

    THIS!!!!
    *Wendy* 4.17.73 - 12.20.05


    2 members found this post helpful.

  2. #82
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    Oct. 15, 2011
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    You sound much better with kids than me, GaitedGloryRider. Literally the only child I am comfortable around and adore is my best friend's little girl because she's awesome. Even my relatives' kids I'm like, eh. That's nice. No desire to have my own and be a mother whatsoever. I want all kids to be treated well, raised right, and loved...but by someone else.
    *Wendy* 4.17.73 - 12.20.05


    4 members found this post helpful.

  3. #83
    Join Date
    Dec. 18, 2006
    Location
    NY
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    4,310

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    Quote Originally Posted by candyappy View Post
    This is really sad. You have no idea what a good marriage and children do to bless and add to an otherwise selfish existence. I was 28 when I married and loved my 24/7 "me time". It has been 21 years and 3 children later and I wouldn't go back to that for anything. May you be so blessed.
    Quote Originally Posted by GaitedGloryRider View Post
    Grandma? Is that you?

    I TOLD YOU! I ain't gettin' married and I ain't poppin' out no babies!


    Thanks for the laugh - this is the best post of the whole thread!



    4 members found this post helpful.

  4. #84
    Join Date
    Nov. 29, 2007
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    Virginia
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    948

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    Disco, I would have to reread the whole thread to say for sure, but I took the orig post as exaggerated for humorous effect to make a point, and also read it as OP saying her choices were pure genius, etc. for her. Some of the responses have seemed judgmental but my comment referred to what the thread should be about, I guess. And actually I really think you could start that thread you mentioned and I suspect that you would not be called sad or bizarre. Other views might be expressed, but again as I said earlier it is the alternative to the norm that is usually targeted.
    "However complicated and remarkable the rest of his life was going to be, it was here now, come to claim him."- JoAnn Mapson


    2 members found this post helpful.

  5. #85
    Join Date
    Mar. 12, 2006
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    Ocala
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    1,219

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    Quote Originally Posted by S1969 View Post
    I hope my posts are not included in those that you are considering condescending. I completely understand why people would be entirely happy without any kids, or a spouse, or whatever.

    It's the "Kids cost a bloody fortune, getting divorced is expensive, and I should get a tax credit for not adding to the country's carbon footprint by popping out more consumers of fossil fuels" part I find offensive.

    If you don't want kids, more power to you. But the assertion that kids are wasteful, marriages are failures and we should save the planet part that is annoying.

    I think that all children should be WANTED and planned for....if you don't feel like that is your destiny - thank you for not pretending.

    There are many, many happy and successful paths to life to take without asserting that someone else's choice is bad, wasteful, or stupid.
    What about that post is wrong? Kids DO cost a bloody fortune, 50% or more of all marriages end in divorce, and none are cheap, and the more people there are, the more consumers there are. So if you find the truth annoying, so be it. Doesnt make it not true. It would be lovely if all children were wanted, but it just aint so, and nothing you can say or do will make it that way.


    5 members found this post helpful.

  6. #86
    Join Date
    Dec. 18, 2006
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    NY
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    Quote Originally Posted by halo View Post
    What about that post is wrong? Kids DO cost a bloody fortune, 50% or more of all marriages end in divorce, and none are cheap, and the more people there are, the more consumers there are. So if you find the truth annoying, so be it. Doesnt make it not true. It would be lovely if all children were wanted, but it just aint so, and nothing you can say or do will make it that way.
    I didn't say it was untrue, I said it was offensive - and it was obviously written to be deliberately offensive. As I tell my kids, just because something is *true* doesn't mean it's ok to talk about openly. If a person is fat, they are fat. But we don't say "that person is a bloody fat pig". That's being offensive.

    Obviously, there are many people who think kids are worth the expense, that marriage is worth the risk. Although if you are simply concerned about the tax credit for not popping out another consumer of fossil fuels - you WOULD get a tax credit for adopting. There are many kids in need of a home, IF you actually wanted kids.

    But if not, just say so...no need to bring other people's choices and problems into the mix.


    1 members found this post helpful.

  7. #87
    Join Date
    Jun. 20, 2009
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    Hunterdon County NJ
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    2,899

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    Quote Originally Posted by Rallycairn View Post
    Disco, I would have to reread the whole thread to say for sure, but I took the orig post as exaggerated for humorous effect to make a point, and also read it as OP saying her choices were pure genius, etc. for her. Some of the responses have seemed judgmental but my comment referred to what the thread should be about, I guess. And actually I really think you could start that thread you mentioned and I suspect that you would not be called sad or bizarre. Other views might be expressed, but again as I said earlier it is the alternative to the norm that is usually targeted.
    Yes I thought the 'wink and nod' was obvious enough... but seems some folks either didn't, OR they are seriously touchy about these things!

    I think the 'bad ass birth stories thread' is peachy keen. And I don't see any need to slam anyone posting a good tale there.

    Once upon a time... in my last year of college... a girlfriend said to me "so you've been hanging out with that guy a lot. Is that The One you are going to marry?" And I was flabbergasted! "Me? Marry? Are you kidding?!?!? Hysterical. Sorry, Why would I marry anyone?" My girlfriend was embarrassed. But I thought it was pretty funny she interpreted my conversations with my male buddy as 'marriage pursuit.'

    Overall, it is sad to think that happy single ladies would be viewed as 'incomplete' or 'less' because their uterus doesn't get a 'proper' workout. Meanwhile, the bachelor lads are historically lauded for 'avoiding the trap.'

    I think the whole 50% divorce rate thing shows that lots of people are just going along with expectations, without really considering other options.

    Lucky for me, I'm not the sort to give much consideration to 'expectations.'


    6 members found this post helpful.

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