The Chronicle of the Horse
MagazineNewsHorse SportsHorse CareCOTH StoreVoicesThe Chronicle UntackedDirectoriesMarketplaceDates & Results
 
Page 2 of 6 FirstFirst 1234 ... LastLast
Results 21 to 40 of 107
  1. #21
    Join Date
    Mar. 10, 2009
    Posts
    5,362

    Default

    F**k may be overused, but it is sometimes the only thing that really conveys the meaning you NEED!

    Like when you're getting out of the car on a really windy day and the wind blows the car door back at you, almost amputating your leg at mid-shin? "Oh gosh darn it phooey" just does not provide adequate accompaniment to the one-legged dance of pain.

    Plus it's so versatile. It's a noun, a verb, an adjective, even an adverb. And you can tack all manner of suffixes on it to fit nearly any context.


    13 members found this post helpful.

  2. #22
    Join Date
    Dec. 30, 2010
    Posts
    152

    Default

    @ MVP - is that the same character as in the movie "In The Loop"? If so, that character can swear like no other.

    I usually start with "Jesus H. Christ" and go on from there. My fave: Take a flying f**k at a rolling doughnut (thank you, Kurt Vonnegut) For abject stupidity: S/he couldn't arrange a piss-up in a brewery.



  3. #23
    Join Date
    Jul. 31, 2007
    Posts
    14,936

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by DangerousDevo View Post
    @ MVP - is that the same character as in the movie "In The Loop"? If so, that character can swear like no other.
    Mmm... don't know. I'll have to check out "In the Loop." I currently have a deep reverence for scottish swearery. This Malcolm Turner character does threats particularly well, too.

    Oh, and twat was a big word for them. Even better or worse, they way they said it, Twat rhymes with Splat rather than Watt as I was taught to say it. Sounds that much more crass.
    The armchair saddler
    Politically Pro-Cat



  4. #24
    Join Date
    Jul. 31, 2007
    Posts
    14,936

    Default

    OK, I'm helping you out with this fine and minimally edited specimen I googled up for your edification.

    Check it:

    "I counselled, "Ye see, I reckon that a foul-mouth is as much o' a social skill as wiping yer arse. YOU have a serious f*cking problem pal! YOU are bereft of vocabuf*ckinglarial skills. I'm gonnae huv tae expand your consciousness."

    Do you see? This fine Scot owns language completely. He can go from friendly and colloquial helping his "pal" with a limited vocabulary, to such high-falutin but well-chosen words as "bereft," and also knows how to do neologism that mixes profanity with an non-sense and extra-fancy version of the word "vocabulary."

    It's effin' awesome. No wonder Scotland produced some fine medical schools and major students of philosophy a few centuries ago. With regard to cultural development, they were *on it*.
    The armchair saddler
    Politically Pro-Cat


    1 members found this post helpful.

  5. #25
    Join Date
    Mar. 10, 2007
    Location
    Montana
    Posts
    4,968

    Default

    I knew an old lady whose worst expletive was "CATS!!!"

    LOL!


    2 members found this post helpful.

  6. #26
    Join Date
    Dec. 27, 2008
    Posts
    273

    Default

    I was 16 before I knew that a DB wasn't a bad driver on the highway. My father who in his younger years, was a poster child for Road Rage would often say:
    CSMFSBB
    also people in Hell want ice water, but do they get it or wish in one hand sh** in the other and see which gets full first. One of my favorites that I learned in Irish Gaelic is: May the cat eat you and may the devil eat the cat... sounds really pretty when you say it. PS to the OP. Thank you for this thread, I desperately NEEDED this today.
    ....... pausing



  7. #27
    Join Date
    Jul. 31, 2007
    Posts
    14,936

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by cowboymom View Post
    I knew an old lady whose worst expletive was "CATS!!!"

    LOL!
    I'll bet it does the job the way she says it though.
    The armchair saddler
    Politically Pro-Cat



  8. #28
    Join Date
    Apr. 18, 2006
    Location
    The back woods of FLA.
    Posts
    158

    Default

    One of my clients has a word for someone who does something extremely stupid-Way to go f**ktard!
    "When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro."-Hunter S. Thompson


    2 members found this post helpful.

  9. #29
    Join Date
    Jul. 31, 2007
    Posts
    14,936

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by MadeYaLook View Post
    One of my clients has a word for someone who does something extremely stupid-Way to go f**ktard!
    Profane and politically incorrect all in one.

    But I do prefer the mixture of high- and low culture in the Scottish version. It's just more delicious. Why can't we do that here?
    The armchair saddler
    Politically Pro-Cat



  10. #30
    Join Date
    Oct. 28, 2010
    Location
    DFW
    Posts
    193

    Default

    One of my favorites is from Love Actually, Bill Nighy.... Ah, f$ck wank bugger sh%tting arse head and hole.”


    2 members found this post helpful.

  11. #31
    Join Date
    Feb. 24, 2011
    Location
    Idaho
    Posts
    151

    Default

    My favorite non-cuss cuss is "sonuva bee-sting!"

    I don't get the opportunity to use "You one-eyed son of a two-bit goat-pleasuring wh*re!" nearly often enough.
    Nanakorobi yaoki: Seven times fall, eight times rise.
    http://reveilleandrinsie.blogspot.com


    1 members found this post helpful.

  12. #32
    Join Date
    Sep. 24, 2010
    Location
    Western NY
    Posts
    1,088

    Default

    We have this great restaurant near us with to die for prime rib and entertainment in the form of the bartender/owner/husband! He has some of the wildest catch phrases, keeps you in stitches all night long. Heck, most of the time the bar tables are reserved first on a busy night!

    My faves: Could $hit through a screen door and not hit a wire...

    I'm sure I'll come up with more as the day goes on (some are pretty specific to the region or coversation).



  13. #33
    Join Date
    Jun. 20, 2009
    Location
    Northeast Ohio, where mud rules your world...
    Posts
    1,366

    Default

    I am a master of the gutter mouth. In fact, I often get snarky looks and harumphs from my dear ol' dad because of it.

    I don't smoke, take drugs, rarely have a sip of beer and am generally not a threat to the world as a whole. Cussing is my outlet. On the road, my dear mother and I have gotten to enjoy quite the free tongue. One of our favorite tension breakers for each other as a stressful horse show is to say in an overly exaggerated tone to each other Shut the F*** Up. It's an inside joke and always gets us laughing and smiling with each other.

    I have many good phrases.
    "weepy crotched old bag" - referring to particularly crotchety older folks
    "You're sucking the give a f*** out of me" - for folks who are being particularly annoying and draining
    "Jesus Jump Up Christ In A Side Car!" - for when someone's behavior is so awe inspiringly stupid, it must be addressed.

    I generally enjoy a heavy use of the f word, sprinkled liberally with several holy s***'s and fer christ sakes. I do also enjoy several labels such as f-tard, d bag, asshat, and my all time favorite crazy as a s*** house rat.
    ...don't sh** where you eat...


    2 members found this post helpful.

  14. #34
    Join Date
    Mar. 22, 2007
    Location
    Bremo Bluff, Virginia
    Posts
    1,278

    Default

    DH's father was apparently quite the creative cusser. I wish I had met him...
    "Sweet Zombie Jesus!"
    "Christ on a crutch!"
    That's a worm raper." - for a golf ball that, instead of flying through the air, goes skidding across the ground.

    I will ask about some more
    "In the beginning, the universe was created. This made a lot of people angry and has widely been considered as a bad move." -Douglas Adams



  15. #35
    Join Date
    Jun. 18, 2011
    Posts
    1,324

    Default

    I've got an Irish friend who told me of an old Gaelic insult, oh how I wish I'd written it down. It was something along the lines of:

    The saddest day for all of humanity was when you crawled from your mother's cavernous gaping.....

    It was a long one, and quite possibly one of the foulest insults I've ever heard in my life. She said it lost a little in translation too so I can only imagine how bad it was in the native tongue. Maybe I'll ring her up and get the full version from her but it was too incredibly foul to post here.


    1 members found this post helpful.

  16. #36
    Join Date
    Mar. 10, 2009
    Posts
    5,362

    Default

    One of my favorites, rarely used. . .
    "c-m- guzzling gutter slut".

    I have been known to throw out the granddaddy of all cuss words once in a while. Yes, that old show-stopper, the C-word. It is reserved for the most grievous of offenders and it gets attention for sure. If I call someone that (male or female), it's a sign that my opinion of the target can't get much lower. Part of the shock factor is that it's a woman using the term.

    For everyday use, I'm fond of "wanker".



  17. #37
    Join Date
    Jul. 31, 2007
    Posts
    14,936

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by winfieldfarm View Post
    On the road, my dear mother and I have gotten to enjoy quite the free tongue.
    You and yo' mamma bond through cussing? That's nice... some good memory-building there, I don't care who y'are.

    I should be so lucky.

    Another common phrase from "The Thick of It":

    Oh, fer f*uck's sake!
    The armchair saddler
    Politically Pro-Cat


    1 members found this post helpful.

  18. #38
    Join Date
    Jul. 31, 2007
    Posts
    14,936

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by GypsyQ View Post
    DH's father was apparently quite the creative cusser. I wish I had met him...
    "Sweet Zombie Jesus!"
    "Christ on a crutch!"
    That's a worm raper." - for a golf ball that, instead of flying through the air, goes skidding across the ground.

    I will ask about some more
    Your dad is hilarious.

    See what I mean? "Worm raper"? Awesome, and does the job nicely.
    The armchair saddler
    Politically Pro-Cat


    1 members found this post helpful.

  19. #39
    Join Date
    Jun. 18, 2011
    Posts
    1,324

    Default

    I wouldn't piss in your ear if your brains were on fire.

    ...and if butterflies had .45s the birds wouldn't f*** with them.

    Well s*** fire and save matches!

    (My crazy aunt's saying about men she finds attractive) I'd eat his s*** if it had corn and peanuts in it!


    1 members found this post helpful.

  20. #40
    Join Date
    Jul. 31, 2007
    Posts
    14,936

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by GaitedGloryRider View Post
    I've got an Irish friend who told me of an old Gaelic insult, oh how I wish I'd written it down. It was something along the lines of:

    The saddest day for all of humanity was when you crawled from your mother's cavernous gaping.....

    It was a long one, and quite possibly one of the foulest insults I've ever heard in my life. She said it lost a little in translation too so I can only imagine how bad it was in the native tongue. Maybe I'll ring her up and get the full version from her but it was too incredibly foul to post here.
    Oh, no please don't deprive us of the rest of the insult!

    Note the grandeur in it....the broad vocabulary... the time it takes to unfurl the whole thing.

    So much promise in the beginning of it. Edit as need be, but let us see the whole glorious dis.
    The armchair saddler
    Politically Pro-Cat


    2 members found this post helpful.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
randomness