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  1. #81
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    Mar. 3, 2007
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    North-Central IL
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    3,155

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    I'm really fond of 'Well f*ck me runnin' or 'Well f*ck me sideways' too...

    Does anyone know what "That dog don't hunt" means? I've heard it bandied about occasionally and I can't really assign a meaning...
    Quarry Rat



  2. #82
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    Sep. 17, 2003
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    AridZona
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    Deb on last night's Dexter when startled by the arson investigator viewing a burned out car with corpse, "Holy filet of ****!" (If you watch the show, you know Deb's favorite four letter word.)

    Trixie to an individual in a line up of prostitutes who are getting ready to go to a funeral, "Wash your ****ing mouth. You got seven kinds of **** breath!" (First is Deb's favorite word, second is the word of choice in the Deadwood universe.)
    Last edited by EponaRoan; Nov. 26, 2012 at 01:44 PM.
    Delicious strawberry flavored death!



  3. #83
    Join Date
    Jul. 31, 2007
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    14,888

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mosey_2003 View Post
    I'm really fond of 'Well f*ck me runnin' or 'Well f*ck me sideways' too...

    Does anyone know what "That dog don't hunt" means? I've heard it bandied about occasionally and I can't really assign a meaning...
    It means that the proposed argument (the dog) is not convincing or logical, and won't get the job done.

    As in: "I think you should go get a job and bring the cash to me while I sit on the couch because I'm just.so.hot."

    That dog (of a logic) don't hunt.
    The armchair saddler
    Politically Pro-Cat



  4. #84
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    Mar. 3, 2007
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    North-Central IL
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    3,155

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    Thank you, mvp! I had only heard it in relation to someone being straight at a gay bar and I couldn't quite make the connection...
    Quarry Rat



  5. #85
    Join Date
    Jul. 5, 2007
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    Beside Myself ~ Western NY
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    6,201

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    Quote Originally Posted by Rudy View Post
    Some of my favorites would have to be twatwaffle, douchnozzle, and dickweed.
    Twatwaffle really is fun isn't it?

    I've found that to curse successfully you can't just drop the words willy nilly like they're not important. For one thing, people will get tired of them. So you really need to give the words the respect that they deserve and insert them in just the right moment. Cursing in real anger becomes no one. A tone of incredulity or sarcasm always lightens the mood.

    "F@(k me" is always more acceptable than "f@(k you"

    Using all your curse adjectives in a string is always impressive: "G@d D@m^ed M^th3r f@(king $h!t Headed B@$tard Sumb!tch" usually catches people's attention.

    And dedicating a specific comment to the fact that you're cursing also lends a certain flair "Sometimes you just have to say WTF."


    1 members found this post helpful.

  6. #86
    Join Date
    Oct. 3, 2002
    Location
    Boogerville, USA
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    858

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    "Sometimes you just have to say WTF."
    New sig line, anyone? No-frills, to the point, and classic.

    A couple others I use:
    F**k Me To Tears!
    Well, Jeebus Jumped Up And Played The Fiddle!


    2 members found this post helpful.

  7. #87
    Join Date
    Aug. 15, 2007
    Location
    My Own Private Idaho (aka KENTUCKY)
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    1,004

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    My personal faves--
    1. used to describe females who are the epitomy of low-- is
    ankle--- because an ankle is 3 feet lower than a c**t.
    2.. Fukenstabben--- my own made up German word for F**kstick!!!
    The only difference between a runaway and a fast gallop is nothing but a SMILE
    Most horses cross the Rainbow Bridge, but TEDDY JUMPED IT!!!
    Member of the COTH Enabler Clique



  8. #88
    Join Date
    Mar. 8, 2012
    Posts
    402

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    http://www.cracked.com/article_16275...und-world.html

    Some of my favorites. I think it should be pretty obvious that this link is pretty NSFW...
    I like mares. They remind me of myself: stubborn know it alls who only acknowledge you if you have food.
    Hannah B. Nana: 50% horse, 50% hippo
    Fiona: can't decide between jumpers or napping



  9. #89
    Join Date
    Jan. 31, 2010
    Location
    Earth
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    2,350

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    Quote Originally Posted by glfprncs View Post
    My dad has some really good sayings that I grew up hearing. Some of his favorites:

    "Colder than a well digger's a** in the Klondike."
    "Colder than a witch's tit."

    And my favorite...
    "You couldn't hit the a** end of a bull in the barn with a banjo."
    I've always said "Colder than a witch's tits in a brass brazier in the middle of winter".
    Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.
    W. C. Fields



  10. #90
    Join Date
    Jul. 15, 2006
    Location
    VA
    Posts
    804

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    "Hotter than four hundred freshely f**ked foxes fresh outta a forest fire" ~ One of my co-workers.
    This is one of his many, colorful expressions, he speaks virginia mush mouth and could soundly be qualified as a true redneck. You know the kind that thinks game laws are more like suggestions. He drives a camo truck, makes excellent deer sausage and has a fabulous way with words. He drives me nuts with some things, but his language always leaves me laughing.



  11. #91
    Join Date
    Jul. 3, 2012
    Location
    Twin Cities
    Posts
    2,014

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    sh*tsonofab*tchpissdamnf*ck

    said quickly with no pause for breath. Learned it from a pal's boyfriend in college & have used it sporadically for years. Always gets a look & a laugh.

    I also enjoy using the term "assholery" to describe behavior. Learned it on Metafilter.



  12. #92
    Join Date
    Jul. 20, 2007
    Location
    Rising Sun, MD
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    3,472

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    My DH has some pretty creative ones.
    Like if he's working on something that isn't going well and he finally figures out the problem it's always "well sh!t and two does make eight"
    Or if it continues to not go so well the he says "it's sucking hind t!t"
    Then there's my mother who says things like
    "cheese and crackers got damp in my cellar" which I think is supposed to be like jesus christ g-dmit all to hell" or she'll tell someone to "go eat dog dirt" LOL!
    “While the rest of the species is descended from apes, redheads are descended from cats.” Mark Twain



  13. #93
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    Jul. 20, 2007
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    Rising Sun, MD
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    My DH has some pretty creative ones.
    Like if he's working on something that isn't going well and he finally figures out the problem it's always "well sh!t and two does make eight"
    Or if it continues to not go so well the he says "it's sucking hind t!t"
    Then there's my mother who says things like
    "cheese and crackers got damp in my cellar" which I think is supposed to be like jesus christ g-dmit all to hell" or she'll tell someone to "go eat dog dirt" LOL!
    “While the rest of the species is descended from apes, redheads are descended from cats.” Mark Twain



  14. #94
    Join Date
    Apr. 23, 1999
    Location
    Rosehill, TX
    Posts
    6,988

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    old british comedy "Chef" - the most creative put-downs ever
    Nothing says "I love you" like a tractor. (Clydejumper)

    The reports states, “Elizabeth reported that she accidently put down this pony, ........, at the show.”



  15. #95
    Join Date
    Oct. 3, 2002
    Location
    Boogerville, USA
    Posts
    858

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    My mother (born 1923, died 2008) would say something that I could never understand the meaning of:
    "You make my ass want chewing gum!", whenever she was tired of hearing an argument or long-winded excuses/fabrications.
    She would also call of the kids "fart-blossoms" whenever we aggravated her. I'd heard her call my dad that more than once, as well.



  16. #96
    Join Date
    May. 18, 2012
    Location
    Through the Looking Glass
    Posts
    159

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    In college I was a bartender at a restaurant with a particularly persnickety head chef/owner. Hated special requests with a passion - his favorite response if a server asked for something special for a table was "I'd rather slam my dick in a door than..."
    "I'm not strange, weird, off, nor crazy. My reality is just different from yours."
    ~Lewis Carroll



  17. #97
    Join Date
    Apr. 23, 1999
    Location
    Rosehill, TX
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    6,988

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    from Chef

    Let me explain the order of things to you. There's the aristocracy, the upper class, the middle class, working class, dumb animals, waiters, creeping things, head lice, people who eat packet soup, then you.


    Everton, please remove the maggots, rat carcasses, and corpses of shocked health inspectors and make the place fit for the preparation of sodding food!

    Somebody bring me a knife, very long and razor sharp. I need to castrate the person who made this sauce and I don't want to cause any unecessary suffering. I'm not a vindictive man, I'm not out to cause pain, but with this man's DNA in the gene pool, humanity is doomed.


    You are a pea-brained, prat-faced, pompous, pillock-headed cretin. If you took an intensive course of intelligence injections and studied till you drop, then one day you might make it to moron third class failed.


    So please go away... and please re-arrange the contents of this plate so that someone in the latest stages of malnutrition will at least take a passing interest in it.


    Everton, let me explain things to you. In the world of cooking, I am Einstein. Lucinda is Isaac Newton. And you are a mud-dwelling unicellular bit of jelly with a predilection for consuming its own excrement.
    Nothing says "I love you" like a tractor. (Clydejumper)

    The reports states, “Elizabeth reported that she accidently put down this pony, ........, at the show.”


    1 members found this post helpful.

  18. #98
    Join Date
    Sep. 24, 2004
    Location
    Piedmont Triad, North Carolina
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    2,159

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    The most effective exclamations of vulgarity are those used sparingly.



  19. #99
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    Mar. 7, 2003
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    4,057

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    Quote Originally Posted by mvp View Post
    And is it true that the Scots are the World Masters of Creative Cussing (and/or threats and describing fubar situations in all their glory)?
    My mother is of Scot-Irish heritage, and her tongue is sharp as a cutlass blade.



  20. #100
    Join Date
    Apr. 23, 1999
    Location
    Rosehill, TX
    Posts
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    more chef

    : I am not a wine expert, Alphonse, but even I have no difficulty in identifying rat's piss when I taste it and this isn't even vintage rat's piss. Were I running Gazza'a Fish Shop as so many people here seem to think I am, I wouldn't let my customers shake this over their chips. The person who thinks this is good enough to cook with, Alphonse, is a grape-brained milliwit!


    Four partridge. One "well done". Debra, ruin a partridge for me, please. Dry it out, destroy its texture, spoil its taste. Wantonly cast its very partridgeness to the four winds to satisfy this barbarian, this Visigoth, this Viking who has presumably ordered it because the knowledge that I am weeping in the kitchen brings him pleasure.

    No need to worry about the health inspector coming into the kitchen, the shock would kill him on the spot. And the bacteria under Everton's section would consume him in seconds.




    Nothing says "I love you" like a tractor. (Clydejumper)

    The reports states, “Elizabeth reported that she accidently put down this pony, ........, at the show.”



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