The Chronicle of the Horse
MagazineNewsHorse SportsHorse CareCOTH StoreVoicesThe Chronicle UntackedDirectoriesMarketplaceDates & Results
 
Page 4 of 6 FirstFirst ... 23456 LastLast
Results 61 to 80 of 107
  1. #61
    Join Date
    Aug. 2, 2001
    Location
    Ft Worth, TX, USA
    Posts
    3,938

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Mac123 View Post
    This is my new favorite song by Sara Bareilles. I sing it frequently now. It comes in handy a lot.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A_N_Fcz5Yaw
    That definitely warmed my cold feckin heart
    "Everyone will start to cheer, when you put on your sailin shoes"-Lowell George

    What's the status on Tuco?


    1 members found this post helpful.

  2. #62
    Join Date
    Jul. 31, 2007
    Posts
    15,409

    Default

    Watching the master, Malcolm Turner, I am reminded that we Americans are screwing up the Queen's English.

    The term "F Off" as he uses it means "leave." It's a specific diss and command, not a general one as we use it here in the States.

    How is one to know the right thing to do if the language is not precise?
    The armchair saddler
    Politically Pro-Cat



  3. #63
    Join Date
    Oct. 29, 2000
    Location
    Southern Pines, N.C.
    Posts
    11,588

    Default

    As you can see from my siggy line, this thread is of great importantce to me.

    Currently my most commonly used expressions are:

    "You are [that is] infuckingcredible!"

    Jesus Christ in green crocs!

    When in company, the most withering thing I usually say is:

    "Oh, bless her heart" (Said with dripping sarcasm it can mean almost anything you want it to mean.)

    I am looking for more ways to call someone incompetent or stupid. My current expressions are:

    Dumb as a box 'o rocks
    Not the brightest bulb in the chandelier.
    Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
    A few french fries short of a Happy Meal.
    The elevator does not go all the way to the top.


    I have heard more, but I forget them.
    "I used to have money, now I have horses."



  4. #64
    Join Date
    Aug. 15, 2008
    Posts
    4,587

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Plumcreek View Post
    Our past older male neighbor, still a friend:

    ""Uglier than a bucket full of assholes".

    See, I always heard it as "Uglier than a bag of smashed...."
    "Aye God, Woodrow..."



  5. #65
    Join Date
    Jun. 24, 2004
    Location
    South Park
    Posts
    3,215

    Default

    "Cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey"
    A friend told me I was delusional. I almost fell off my unicorn.



  6. #66
    Join Date
    May. 11, 2009
    Location
    Dairyville USA
    Posts
    2,979

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Helpus View Post
    As you can see from my siggy line, this thread is of great importantce to me.

    Currently my most commonly used expressions are:

    "You are [that is] infuckingcredible!"

    Jesus Christ in green crocs!

    When in company, the most withering thing I usually say is:

    "Oh, bless her heart" (Said with dripping sarcasm it can mean almost anything you want it to mean.)

    I am looking for more ways to call someone incompetent or stupid. My current expressions are:

    Dumb as a box 'o rocks
    Not the brightest bulb in the chandelier.
    Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
    A few french fries short of a Happy Meal.
    The elevator does not go all the way to the top.


    I have heard more, but I forget them.
    Several bales short of a ton
    Couple of tines short of a winrow
    etc
    Michael: Seems the people who burned me want me for a job.
    Sam: A job? Does it pay?
    Michael: Nah, it's more of a "we'll kill you if you don't do it" type of thing.
    Sam: Oh. I've never liked those.



  7. #67
    Join Date
    May. 15, 2011
    Location
    Just south of the Arctic Circle...seriously
    Posts
    334

    Default

    I personally enjoy "I wish I could light your face on fire and put it out with a chain" and "Man, I wish I could be there someday when Karma f**ks you in the a** with a cactus."
    Last edited by Wholehearted; Nov. 25, 2012 at 09:30 PM. Reason: Spelled karma wrong
    “Thoroughbreds are the best. They’re lighter, quicker, and more intelligent.” -George Morris


    3 members found this post helpful.

  8. #68
    Join Date
    May. 11, 2009
    Location
    Dairyville USA
    Posts
    2,979

    Default

    Ooh! Someone I know has a lovely curse (I suppose it loses a bit in translation from the original Arabic)

    "May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your pubic area/crotch/<insert area of choice here>"
    Michael: Seems the people who burned me want me for a job.
    Sam: A job? Does it pay?
    Michael: Nah, it's more of a "we'll kill you if you don't do it" type of thing.
    Sam: Oh. I've never liked those.


    1 members found this post helpful.

  9. #69
    Join Date
    Jan. 30, 2007
    Posts
    3,155

    Default

    I wouldn't piss on him / her if he were on fire.
    Nickel-bred piece of shit (re: a bad horse)
    Cock-knocker (I think I made that one up in the past!)
    Now I always got a laugh out of this:
    THE MANY MEANINGS OF THE WORD "FUCK"


    Perhaps one of the most interesting and colorful words in the English
    Language today is the word "F***". It is one of the magical words, which
    just by its sound, can describe pain, pleasure, love and hate.
    In language,"F***" falls into many grammatical categories. It can be used as a verb,
    both transitive (John F***ed Mary) and intransitive (Mary was F***ed by John).

    It can be an active verb (John really gives a F***) or a passive verb
    (Mary really doesn't give a F***) or an adverb (Mary is F***ing interested in
    John) and as a noun (Mary is a terrific F***). It can be used as an
    adjective (Mary is F***ing beautiful).

    As you can see, there are very few words with the versatility of "F***".

    Besides its sexual connotations, this incredible word can be used to describe many situations:

    Greetings.........."How the fuck are you"
    Fraud................"I got fucked by the car dealer"
    Dismay.............."Oh fuck it"
    Trouble............."Well, I guess I'm fucked now"
    Aggression........"Fuck Me"
    Disgust............."Fuck You!"
    Confusion........."What the fuck...?"
    Difficulty..........."I don't understand this fucking business"
    Despair............."Fucked again"
    Incompetence...."He fucked up everything"
    Displeasure......."What the fuck is going on here?"
    Lost................."Where the fuck are we?"
    Disbelief..........."Unfucking believable!"
    Retaliation........"Up your fucking ass!"
    Denial.............."I didn't fucking do it."
    Perplexity........."I don't know fuck about it."
    Apathy............."Who gives a fuck anyway?"
    Resignation......"Oh fuck it."
    Derision..........."He fucks up everything."
    Suspicion........."Who the fuck are you?"
    Panic..............."Lets get the fuck out of here."
    Directions........."Fuck off."
    Disbelief..........."How the fuck did you do that?"

    It can be used in anatomical description..."He's a fucking asshole!"
    It can be used to tell time......................."It's Five fucking Thirty!"
    It can be used in business......................"How did I wind up with this fucking job?"
    It can be used maternal..........................as in "Motherfucker"


    Dee
    Founder of the I LOFF my worrywart TB clique!
    Official member of the "I Sing Silly Songs to My Animals!" Clique
    http://wilddiamondintherough.blogspot.ca/


    9 members found this post helpful.

  10. #70
    Join Date
    Nov. 13, 2005
    Location
    Clarksville, TN
    Posts
    556

    Default

    Some of my favorites would have to be twatwaffle, douchnozzle, and dickweed.


    6 members found this post helpful.

  11. #71
    Join Date
    Jan. 30, 2007
    Posts
    3,155

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Rudy View Post
    Some of my favorites would have to be twatwaffle, douchnozzle, and dickweed.
    Or dickbreath
    Founder of the I LOFF my worrywart TB clique!
    Official member of the "I Sing Silly Songs to My Animals!" Clique
    http://wilddiamondintherough.blogspot.ca/



  12. #72
    Join Date
    Jul. 31, 2007
    Posts
    15,409

    Default

    Moving on to the venerable butt hole.

    My mom seemed to acquire a drawl when she'd say "Yeeahh.... up yours."

    And in German, you don't even have to say the whole thing. "Du kannst mir" is sufficient for the whole phrase, which is translated as "You can lick my a$$." You'll see translations into "You can kiss my a$$" but not so! The last word in sentence is clearly "lecken." That would be licking, not kissing.

    Get it right.
    The armchair saddler
    Politically Pro-Cat


    2 members found this post helpful.

  13. #73
    Join Date
    Nov. 28, 2000
    Location
    Ontario, Canada
    Posts
    10,764

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by SarahandSam View Post
    I like that. I think I'd personally wrap it up with a nice, clean, simple, "you f*cking f*ck," myself.
    I have been married to a musician for 31 years. I learned pretty much everything I know from him.
    One of his (and his friends') most usual is the simple but effective:
    "f*ck you, you f*cking f*ck"

    Our next door neighbours are fundamentalist Christians with 8 homeschooled children. When my husband and I come out to work in the yard, the mum brings her children in............

    The swearing on the Sopranos always makes me laugh. Even funnier is that the local (censorship station) bleeps out the swearing, but lets all the blood and gore be seen unchecked.

    For pure unadulturated Scottish swearing, the go-to person would have to be Billy Connolly.


    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J6f3e...eature=related

    disclaimer: you might not want to click on this at work.
    A FINE ROMANCE - JC Reg Thoroughbred - GOLD Premium CSHA - ISR/OLDNA Approved
    CSHA Brickenden Stallion Award Winner - for Performance offspring.
    Please visit A Fine Romance on FB!



  14. #74
    Join Date
    Sep. 19, 2008
    Location
    Half past the point of oblivion
    Posts
    924

    Default

    As crayons go, he's a taupe.

    Drill sergeants are just one step below Scotsmen. My enduring favorite isn't even vulgar. "That boy is a waste of oxygen." The breath-taking simplicity and complete disdain in a short phrase! It's really the most withering insult possible
    Holy crap, how does Darwin keep missing you? ~Lauruffian



  15. #75
    Join Date
    Apr. 6, 2006
    Location
    Virginia
    Posts
    1,830

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by mvp View Post

    Oh, fer f*ck's sake!
    That's currently my favorite. Not sure where I got it from but have been using it a lot lately.

    I said it recently (in public - and louder than I meant to) and one of my friends just about peed herself laughing.

    And I say F*ck Me at least several times a day. If I'm really pissed I add Hard to the phrase.

    When I was growing up my dad had several good cover ups for swearing. Two of my favorites were:

    God D...bless America!
    and
    Shiiii...nola



  16. #76
    Join Date
    Mar. 3, 2007
    Location
    North-Central IL
    Posts
    3,810

    Default

    I found out that "F*ck you, you f*cking f*ck!" loses a lot of it's bite when your phone's autocorrect changed it to "Duck you, you ducking duck!"
    Quarry Rat


    6 members found this post helpful.

  17. #77
    Join Date
    Oct. 3, 2002
    Location
    Boogerville, USA
    Posts
    858

    Default

    My favs:

    "What happy new species of f*ckery is this??"
    and,
    "You are cordially invited to perform aerial intercourse with a tumbling pastry (or: with Earth's natural satellite)."



  18. #78
    Join Date
    May. 12, 2000
    Location
    NE TN, USA
    Posts
    6,201

    Default

    "When you get home, be careful your mother doesn't crawl out from under the porch and bite your ankle."

    "If brains were dynamite, you couldn't blow your nose."
    “There are two ways to conquer and enslave a nation. One is by the sword. The other is by debt.”
    John Adams


    2 members found this post helpful.

  19. #79
    Join Date
    Mar. 1, 2003
    Location
    Happily in Canada
    Posts
    4,921

    Default

    I just realized where the best insults are: Monty Python!

    "Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries."

    There is a web insult generator to make insults just like the above (in four styles, no less!) at: www.webinsult.com
    Blugal

    You never know what kind of obsessive compulsive crazy person you are until another person imitates your behaviour at a three-day. --Gry2Yng


    6 members found this post helpful.

  20. #80
    Join Date
    Oct. 29, 2000
    Location
    Southern Pines, N.C.
    Posts
    11,588

    Default

    Just thought of another couple:

    "He's trying to win The Darwin Award"

    One my English brother in law said: "She makes the best of a bad job" (when he saw a really ugly woman in heavy makeup)

    And, if we are going multi national:\

    Gamulto Malaca (Greek for "fuck your mother") Be ready to fight if you say that in Greece. -- However, I have used it in the US and I am safe because no one understands what I am saying.
    "I used to have money, now I have horses."


    1 members found this post helpful.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •