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  1. #41
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    I shot her an email asking her to send me the whole thing earlier this morning. It is grand, the eloquence and vulgarity all wrapped up in one profanity-laced diatribe was quite impressive. It's been several years since she told me about it and even though I was incredibly drunk I still remember it as being an epic curse.

    In Gaelic it sounded so romantic. When she translated it to English I felt like I needed a shower.



  2. #42
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    Nov. 13, 2005
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    So my Dad, being British and all, uses the famous, "Oh B*oody H*ll" on a fairly regular basis. Apparently including when things go wrong at work, in jest of course, and his colleagues find it very amusing. Anyway, once one of his very southern North Carolinian nurses was in the tech room and as something was about to go wrong she comes out with, "B*oody H*ll." Of course the Drs on the operating floor heard her and apparently it provided much needed light relief! This was like 5 years ago and she still hasn't lived it down!

    ETA: MVP, "Oh fer f*cks sake" is very British. I use it and my co workers think it is hilarious.
    "Choose to chance the rapids, and dare to dance the tides" - Garth Brooks
    "With your permission, dear, I'll take my fences one at a time" - Maggie Smith, Downton Abbey



  3. #43
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    May. 15, 2002
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    I'm fond of (Brit accent) "I don't like the cut of your jib!" or "I don't like your tweed, sir!" both of which apply to appearance, the former being nautical which is always good, and the latter popularized by Professor Elemental, and ditto. Both must be said as sneeringly as possible for maximum effect.
    ............................................
    http://www.xanthoria.com/OTTB
    ............................................


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  4. #44
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    Oct. 11, 2002
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    Colorado
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    Quote Originally Posted by mvp View Post
    OK, how about expressions like "useless as tits on a boar"?

    Things that are vivid and express the point well.

    I'm sure you guys know some characters who have introduced you to useful phrases like this.
    Our past older male neighbor, still a friend:

    ""Uglier than a bucket full of assholes".
    Comprehensive Equestrian Site Planning and Facility Design
    www.lynnlongplanninganddesign.com


    1 members found this post helpful.

  5. #45
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    Jun. 14, 2006
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    VA
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    My first word was coffee. My first phrase was somebich. My grandpa loved coffee and his most famous words when getting a horse to do something were something along the lines of "G-damn son of a b!tch get over that <crick, road, >whatever was the problem.

    I can clearly remember him saying (a lot) Goddamn son of a b!tch Baldy (my BuddyRoo) get over that crick! !!!!

    I find it humorous now. They're both dead and gone. But the fact that my first main phrase was somebich is pretty funny. To me. Not so much to my mom.
    A good horseman doesn't have to tell anyone...the horse already knows.

    Might be a reason, never an excuse...


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  6. #46
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    Jun. 18, 2011
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    Okay, got an email back from my Irish friend. Girl's a cursing machine, can't remember which one I was talking about but she sent me this one which is pretty good. Not nearly as vulgar but good nonetheless:

    "the worst thing to ever happen to this world was when you dropped carpet burned and screaming from between your mother's legs and we would all greatly appreciate it if you would kindly crawl back up in there and die."

    Trying to jog her memory now for the original one.


    2 members found this post helpful.

  7. #47
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    Jul. 31, 2007
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    ^^

    "carpet burned and screaming." See, it's thoughtful details like that that add quality and depth to the insult.
    The armchair saddler
    Politically Pro-Cat


    1 members found this post helpful.

  8. #48
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    Mar. 16, 2011
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    Now, one of my favorite hobbies is to mix swear levels. Observe:
    "Must you be such a gosh-darn c*nt?"
    "F*cking a-holes."
    "Dagf*ckin'nabbit."

    Now, I'm a huge fan of interspersing "f*ck" in sentences. For further instruction on the use of this exceptionally versatile word, see this. Warning (and I'm not sure if I should have to warn this seeing the title of this thread): contains indiscreet f*ckin' language.



  9. #49
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    Jun. 14, 2006
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    Classy vid CNM. LOL
    A good horseman doesn't have to tell anyone...the horse already knows.

    Might be a reason, never an excuse...



  10. #50
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    Jan. 10, 2008
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    Western NY
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    Quote Originally Posted by cnm161 View Post
    Now, one of my favorite hobbies is to mix swear levels. Observe:
    "Must you be such a gosh-darn c*nt?"
    "F*cking a-holes."
    "Dagf*ckin'nabbit."

    Now, I'm a huge fan of interspersing "f*ck" in sentences. .
    Agree; the contrast between high language and vulgarity adds a certain piquant flavour to it... I particularly like working "f*ck" into the midst of words, as an extra syllable.

    I remember camping for a few days with some friends when I was younger, and we were out on an early morning hike, and I casually and thoughtlessly said, "What the f*ck's for f*cking breakfast?" and that was the point where I realized that we had all switched to a language that consisted almost entirely of profanity, and maybe it was time to go into the vicinity of other people.



  11. #51
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    Aug. 14, 2000
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    Rochester,NY,USA
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    Default Learned almost all of my cussing at a girl's school.

    I taught riding one year at a private girl's boarding school (grades 9-12). For example, I'd heard the expression 'Mother', but I had no idea what followed till I taught riding there.

    Now, as a result, I can string a line together better than a trooper. I know cause my next door neighbor was a member of the county sheriff's dept and he's even raised his eyebrows on occasion.

    But my actual preference is to do what I think is a parody on cussing, For example, 'That's no fig bucking deal.' Someone on COTH has another expression, 'That's nucking futs.'

    Some jerk on COTH when I used the 'fig bucking deal' called it cyber-swearing,which made me really laugh. Talk about a prude...

    As far as I'm concerned, it's no fig bucking deal, one way or the other. Now if that's not nucking futs, then nothing is!
    Sue
    Back in my day, we didn't have as many warning labels because people weren't so dang stupid!


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  12. #52
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    Dec. 30, 2010
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    Quote Originally Posted by mvp View Post
    Mmm... don't know. I'll have to check out "In the Loop." I currently have a deep reverence for scottish swearery. This Malcolm Turner character does threats particularly well, too.
    Indeed it is....http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KfiEK...eature=related



  13. #53
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    While the most frequent and foul cussing I've been around was at a racing stable, I think the most effective cussing is when it's eloquent and there are no actual curse words.

    Someone actually really crafts a curse. Like the "worm raper" earlier in this thread.
    Blugal

    You never know what kind of obsessive compulsive crazy person you are until another person imitates your behaviour at a three-day. --Gry2Yng



  14. #54
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    Apr. 1, 2006
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    This is my new favorite song by Sara Bareilles. I sing it frequently now. It comes in handy a lot.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A_N_Fcz5Yaw
    It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it. (Aristotle)


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  15. #55
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    Jul. 31, 2007
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    Quote Originally Posted by DangerousDevo View Post
    Thank you. That was a very satisfying homage.
    The armchair saddler
    Politically Pro-Cat



  16. #56
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    Jun. 18, 2011
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    Okay okay she sent me the original one I heard

    The worst day for all of humanity was when you crawled from your mother's cavernous gaping **** through a crab-infested forest to plague society with your infinite stupidity, you #$%^ #$%^ @#$%^ (insert string of vulgarities).


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  17. #57
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    I like that. I think I'd personally wrap it up with a nice, clean, simple, "you f*cking f*ck," myself.


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  18. #58
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    GaitedGloryRider, that is fantastic. Don't know if I can remember all of that, but I'll sure give it a try.
    Sue
    Back in my day, we didn't have as many warning labels because people weren't so dang stupid!



  19. #59
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    Totally wish I could take credit but it's from an Irish friend of mine, girl is a curse wizard. Some of the insults and cussing I've seen fly from her keyboard over the years have left me in awe, truly a master of her craft.



  20. #60
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    Nov. 13, 2005
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    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eN9VcCzMSqg these ladies do it best! :-P
    "Choose to chance the rapids, and dare to dance the tides" - Garth Brooks
    "With your permission, dear, I'll take my fences one at a time" - Maggie Smith, Downton Abbey


    2 members found this post helpful.

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