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  1. #41
    Join Date
    Aug. 18, 2011
    Location
    CT
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    297

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    Quote Originally Posted by SnicklefritzG View Post

    ...my little brother exclaimed loudly for all to hear upon seeing a replica of Michelangel's "David" at the top of the grand staircase at the Metropolitan Museum of Art. As he went into great detail about David's nudity and masculine parts, I took my other siblings and went into another exhibit room.
    Upon first seeing the same statue, I apparently marched up to him and politely shook his hand. Only it wasn't his hand.
    Horsey romances written by a horsey person
    www.JesseHayworth.com


    2 members found this post helpful.

  2. #42
    Join Date
    Dec. 11, 2006
    Location
    Cheesehead in Loudoun Co, VA
    Posts
    2,563

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    A friend posted this gem from her son on facebook yesterday:
    "I just want it my way all of the time!" (during a royal snit due to a perceived iPad "mis-" function!)
    I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right
    Violence doesn't end violence. It extends it. Break the cycle.



  3. #43
    Join Date
    Mar. 1, 2003
    Location
    Happily in Canada
    Posts
    5,231

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    My brother was trying to say something about the famous tennis player Goran Ivanišević, but called him "Ivan-is-a-b**ch".
    Blugal

    You never know what kind of obsessive compulsive crazy person you are until another person imitates your behaviour at a three-day. --Gry2Yng



  4. #44
    Join Date
    Feb. 25, 2011
    Location
    So California
    Posts
    3,717

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    My nephew was just talking, at that really cute age, and one day he was reclining against his mom with his hand resting on her abdomen, just below her navel. He patted her abdomen, and looking up at her said, "Mommy, you have a beautiful little belly." She was self conscious about her considerable remaining post-pregnancy weight and belly, and she told me later she was extremely touched that her child just saw her as beautiful. So she gave him a delighted kiss and said, "Thank you, Honey, you are so sweet!" He beamed at the praise, and determined to do even better, patted her stomach above her navel and added, "And Mommy, you have a beautiful Big Belly, too!"
    Last edited by PeteyPie; Nov. 24, 2012 at 04:47 PM. Reason: added a word


    1 members found this post helpful.

  5. #45
    Join Date
    Feb. 16, 2012
    Location
    TN
    Posts
    625

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    I've been cracking up, I know I have quite a few but the ones that come to mind are...

    when my cousin was little she kept pressing her parents for the difference between men and women, and why did that allow men to pee standing up? Well, coming from a pretty straight forward family they told her that men had penises and women did not, so for the next year or so every stranger she saw in the grocery store or on the street she would tap and politely ask "do you have a penis??" much to her parents horror

    Secondly one of the little girls and her brother that I nanny came with me to my duplex one day, I tried and tried to explain what a duplex was but they couldn't get why my neighbors dog was tied in my yard. Additionally they asked if my neighbor and i were married since we lived in the same house That same day when their dad got home they ran up to him super excited and said "DAD!! Stusica lives in half a house!! And she doesn't have a washer or a dryer!!" like it was the craziest thing they had ever heard of lol

    Same girl a little while later asks if I ever found a new room mate, not wanting to encourage living together before marriage and not wanting to lie I say yes. SO she asks what their name is, and I say mrstushica, so she thinks about it and says isn't that your boyfriend? oops busted. and I'm like uhh yeah, and she asks if I still live in the same place, I'm like no mrstushica bought his very own house, and you know how my last house was 2 houses in one?" she like "yeah" I'm like this house is three houses in one! It's called a triplex, she replies.... "oh, I'm so sorry!" so i'm like huh? no sweetie other families pay us to live in their own little houses in out house called apartments so we can live there for free, it's really great" at which point she replies "that's really sad, I'm sorry!" oy vey...



  6. #46
    Join Date
    Dec. 11, 2006
    Location
    Cheesehead in Loudoun Co, VA
    Posts
    2,563

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    My son used to insist that the commercial said, "Save big money at Benards" instead of Menards.

    I once called my mom, "Sister won't stop ringing the doorbell."

    Mom: "Why is she ringing the doorbell?"

    Me: "I locked her out of the house."

    Mind you, this was when we were considered old enough to stay home alone, so I had to be at least 12
    I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right
    Violence doesn't end violence. It extends it. Break the cycle.



  7. #47
    Join Date
    Nov. 27, 2011
    Posts
    246

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    When it gets too hot to ride at my summer camp we play horse jeopardy. One of the questions, for 100 points, was, "What color is a horse's blood?".

    One would think it be an easy 100 points, right? WRONG. We've have kids say purple, blue, rainbow, see-through, blue and "horses don't have blood!"


    1 members found this post helpful.

  8. #48
    Join Date
    Feb. 27, 2005
    Posts
    568

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    My little niece in the snack line with her mother at Parent's Day at pre-school: Sister: What kind of milk should I get, white or chocolate?
    Niece: (in her high pitched, loud voice): Momma, you know it's PMS week...get the chocolate.

    Same niece, when she and my sister moved in with me, post-divorce....I got up early one morning and went into the bathroom where I proceeded to blow my nose rather loudly: and this tiny voice from the adjacent bedroom says "Momma, listen! Geese!"


    1 members found this post helpful.

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