The Chronicle of the Horse
MagazineNewsHorse SportsHorse CareCOTH StoreVoicesThe Chronicle UntackedDirectoriesMarketplaceDates & Results
 
Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Results 1 to 20 of 48
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Dec. 7, 2006
    Location
    Spruce Grove AB
    Posts
    825

    Wink Kids say the darnest things! Let's hear yours.

    My 12 year old and I were watching sister wives the other day, and all the wives and husband were sitting on the couch talking with husband in the middle, when my son suddenly stated, wow he probably has a high tolerance for nagging! Lol

    Made me think that maybe I have become one! I know it takes being asked to unload the dishwasher or put the clothes away more than once.

    Another time long ago, I think my son was around 3 or 4 and we had the big TB gelding at the vets to get floated, and he had already been sedated and 'dropped' when my little guy said(and in a louder than average voice) Holy Commander has a big penis! Of course there were a couple of other clients there hanging around to watch, snickers and laughter ensued and the vet chuckled and said, yes, yes he does. Lol my face was so red.

    Anybody else have some funny stories to share?


    2 members found this post helpful.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Feb. 28, 2011
    Posts
    520

    Default

    Me to my just turned 2yo grandson Kaiden: Kaiden do you need a new diaper?

    Kaiden: patting his bum "No Gramma, I got one"


    1 members found this post helpful.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Feb. 25, 2011
    Location
    So California
    Posts
    3,256

    Default

    A friend of mine was taking a group of young children trick-or-treating. The group included her two young daughters and three little friends. It was the first time for several of the children, so when they rang the first doorbell and the homeowner peered out at the little gaggle of cuties, my friend prompted the tyke closest to the door, "Now what do you say?"

    The child responded enthusiastically, "Can I use your bathroom?"


    2 members found this post helpful.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Feb. 14, 2012
    Location
    Fern Creek, KY
    Posts
    3,010

    Default

    I used to nanny for a 3 year old. We were at her older sister's softball game, and there was a woman whose hygeine was less than steller sitting in front of us on the bleachers.

    Little girl says, rather loudly. "Superminion, that lady has gorilla armpits like my Daddy!"

    I almost died on the spot.
    Quote Originally Posted by MistyBlue View Post
    I prefer them outside playing as opposed to standing in the barn aisle playing "I can crap more than you"
    New Year, New Blog... follow Willow and I here.


    2 members found this post helpful.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Dec. 7, 2006
    Location
    Spruce Grove AB
    Posts
    825

    Default

    Ahahahahaha superminion!!!! Classic!

    I remembered another one when my son was around 2.5 years old, and my ex introduced our son to his boss, who was quite old and weathered looking(I think he was around 83!) and my darling boy asked him if he was wearing a mask!! the saving grace was that he was very,very hard of hearing and did not hear that! True story lol


    5 members found this post helpful.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Aug. 17, 2004
    Location
    Rixeyville, VA
    Posts
    6,714

    Default

    One day several of Mr IF's work colleagues came to the farm to visit. These colleagues were nice suburban ladies.

    Mr. IF and IF Jr. took them for a walk around the property. In the course of this walk, one of the ladies found a tick on her. Horror ensured. IF Jr, about 5 years of age, was not impressed. He told her, "You need to get a new skill set."

    Mr. IF was mortified, but the ladies did manage to laugh. I guess they broadened their skill set that day to include tick removal.
    Where Norwegian Fjords Rule
    http://www.ironwood-farm.com


    3 members found this post helpful.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Oct. 9, 2002
    Location
    Southern California
    Posts
    1,974

    Default

    When Boy 1.0 was potty training (just shy of turning 3), I tried the whole use-a-doll-to-model technique (you explain the doll needs to go potty, and then the toddler "teaches" the doll how to do it). I didn't have a doll, so I put some small underwear on his Elmo and urgently came up to son:

    Me: "Elmo needs to go potty! Oh no!"

    Boy 1.0, with puzzled expression: "....No....?"

    Me: "Oh yes, yes he does! Elmo needs to go potty!"

    B1: "Mommy, Elmo no can go potty. Elmo no have penis."

    Well then. Can't argue with that.

    Around when he was four or so, hubby and I overheard this from Boy 1.0's room: "Hello, underwear! You are going on my BUTT!"

    Boy 2.0 hasn't said such gems yet. So far, cutest thing he says is his version of the word "popsicle"--it's "pockawuff." D'awwwwwwww.
    SA Ferrana Moniet
    Not goodbye--just waiting at the end of the trail.
    My bloggity blog: Hobby Horse: Adventures of the Perpetual Newbie


    6 members found this post helpful.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Nov. 10, 2008
    Location
    Gillett PA
    Posts
    250

    Default

    Years ago when DH was driving truck he had a nasty nasty woman for a dispatcher. She called during hubby's scheduled hometime. At that time daughter was 3 and unfortunately got to the phone before parental units... Woman asked for her daddy and said it was his dispatcher. She politely told woman she would be her daddy...of course 3 yr old have to very loudly run screaming to daddy that his "bitch bastard" was looking for him...not really sur eif that is what daughter said but the woman on the other end took it as that is what was said.

    Needless to say she was his dispatcher very long after that. but she was a bitch and the company knew it but, boy did she make a stink.


    2 members found this post helpful.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Aug. 15, 2008
    Posts
    4,589

    Default

    I love these!

    I have a bunch that I'd written down and have lost from when I was an examiner for Pony Club ratings. The small D-1's and D-2's were always full of gems. Need to find that! I remember one was a little boy who when asked how often the farrier came to do his pony's feet replied "My dad says TOO DAMN OFTEN!".

    My niece was quite fond of "Bonge Spob" (Sponge Bob) and she didn't get the hiccups, she got the "heebops".

    Little Spot hasn't really started talking yet other than the normal early "dada" and "bye bye", but I'm pretty sure he's going to be full of knee slappers. Mr. Spot has no filter, and mine is often broken, so I can only imagine.

    Can't wait for you guys to post more!
    "Aye God, Woodrow..."


    2 members found this post helpful.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Apr. 24, 1999
    Location
    New England
    Posts
    1,281

    Default

    6 yr old son was growing weary of his big sister.
    Frustrated, he turns to me and says: "Mom - if I ever go fishing for piranha's I'm ok with using my sister for bait...."


    3 members found this post helpful.

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Aug. 10, 2010
    Location
    Western NY
    Posts
    1,698

    Default

    My granddaughter was looking at one of my violins and asked when it was made. I answered, about 140 years ago. She then said, Have you had it that long?


    4 members found this post helpful.

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Sep. 26, 2010
    Posts
    5,174

    Default

    Overheard at Home Depot:

    "Mom come and wipe me!"

    Apparently a family had lost their 2 year old, who had run over to the toilet section, unbeknownst to them, and proceeded to go potty...


    and no this is not me talking about myself in the 3rd person.lol.


    5 members found this post helpful.

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Jun. 24, 2005
    Location
    Alabama
    Posts
    9,254

    Default

    Someone needs to link the Leadline stories (in Hunter Jumper I think), because the Ho story is a classic.
    You can't fix stupid-Ron White



  14. #14
    Join Date
    Jan. 26, 2006
    Location
    Fort Worth, Texas
    Posts
    4,701

    Default

    five year old grand daughter about the burse on her forehead

    "if I hadn't been climbing over the chair like a billy goat I wouldn't fallen"


    1 members found this post helpful.

  15. #15
    Join Date
    Aug. 14, 2010
    Location
    San Francisco, CA
    Posts
    634

    Default

    Once when I was very small, I was in the 99 cent store with my mom. I saw this old woman who was a midget, and I (loudly) screeched "MOMMY!! LOOK AT THE CUTE LITTLE MAN!!"
    Proud member of the COTH Junior (and Junior-at-Heart!) clique!


    1 members found this post helpful.

  16. #16
    Join Date
    Jan. 11, 2010
    Location
    Near the beach
    Posts
    474

    Default

    My son, now 18, had some classics when he was young. When he was three, he wandered off at our tennis club. I was frantic and finally found him just outside our pro's office. I said " Son, where have you been"? He said, "I've been in talking to the brown guy". Pro was African-American - Thank God, I heard the pro laughing his ass off!
    Then he was with us at a car dealership a while later. The salesman was going through the whole "buy the undercoating package, it is worth it" shpiel. Son pipes up loudly, "Yeah, right!" - My thoughts exactly!


    1 members found this post helpful.

  17. #17
    Join Date
    Apr. 13, 2008
    Posts
    1,139

    Default

    well. little man hasnt come up with a ton of knee slappers, but, a few months ago we were out on a walk and he spied some acorns. I told him they were nuts of the tree and squirrels ate them. He picked one up and ran around chasing after saying "C'mere squirrel! I have a nut for you" Since he had just turned 2 I was amazed and in love.



  18. #18
    Join Date
    May. 11, 2010
    Posts
    939

    Default

    3 year old: it's hot as hell in here!

    Grandma: where did you hear that?

    3 year old: I cant tell you or grandpa will be in trouble


    5 members found this post helpful.

  19. #19
    Join Date
    Apr. 29, 2002
    Location
    Lots of M states...
    Posts
    1,138

    Default

    I'm a teacher in the inner city, and I taught 2nd grade last year. My favorite child quote came from a boy's writing. It was an informational piece about an animal of their choice. One boy chose wolves, and I think got a little creative with the information he found online.

    "Did you know that wolves are red, black and grey? The wolves that are red are girls. The black wolves are men. Sometimes the red wolves are mad but the black wolves like to make them happy."

    Needless to say, he got an A ;-)


    2 members found this post helpful.

  20. #20
    Join Date
    Nov. 1, 2007
    Location
    ....in a classroom in Fl, by the ocean
    Posts
    4,029

    Default

    My little brother was about 5 at the time and it was February, the same time of year Sports Illustrated starts to advertise about the swim suit issue.

    It was a cold and blustery day, (we lived in Pa, outside of Philly) raining and sleeting. My mom braved the cold to collect the mail and inside was the Highlights Magazine.

    She runs into the house, saying "DS! DS! The Highlights Magazine is here!!" He pops up off the couch, "is it the swim suit issue?"



    Same little brother, this time he is about 3-4
    We were teaching him about God and how God lives inside you. That evening while going though an encyclopedia and going thought the clear film pages (they have outlines of the nervous system, muscle groups, veins, bones internal organs) and you lay them over a human shape to see where they lie. He starts to flip them all back and forth with this questioning look on his face. We asked him what was up....and he says, "where is God?"


    3 members found this post helpful.

Similar Threads

  1. Fun things to do with 15 and 16 yr old kids?
    By Come Shine in forum Off Topic
    Replies: 20
    Last Post: May. 29, 2012, 06:54 PM
  2. Funny things kids say about riding
    By hellerkm in forum Off Course
    Replies: 12
    Last Post: Dec. 11, 2009, 12:41 PM
  3. Kids say the darndest things...
    By eponacowgirl in forum Off Course
    Replies: 12
    Last Post: Nov. 18, 2009, 08:31 AM
  4. Neighbours Do the Darnest Things
    By Treasmare2 in forum Off Course
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: Jul. 6, 2009, 11:49 PM
  5. Replies: 93
    Last Post: Sep. 29, 2008, 05:06 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
randomness