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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Aug. 28, 2007
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    Triangle Area, NC
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    6,707

    Default Undiagnosed Bipolar Relative

    If its obvious to you, and everyone else that a relative is bipolar, yet not to themselves is there a gentle way to encourage the bipolar relative to seek help? What if your relationship is on the line with this person?
    What if said relative cant afford healthcare? I know they have Medicaid.

    If this person does not seek help and medication soon, I'm going to have to emancipate myself from the relationship.

    Help!
    www.destinationconsensusequus.com
    chaque pas est fait ensemble



  2. #2
    Join Date
    Nov. 4, 2003
    Location
    Dallas, Georgia
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    16,545

    Default

    Alas, no matter what you say or how graciously you say it, unless you have a close relationship with that person, they won't hear a single word and, most likely, will just bow up and blast you back.

    Since you say the relationship is already "on the line," best to set good boundaries and back off.

    No, it's not easy because in our hearts we so want to see that person whole & happy - but until they choose to seek out healing on their own, things won't change.
    <>< Sorrow Looks Back. Worry Looks Around. Faith Looks Up! -- "When they try to tell you these are your Golden years, don't believe 'em.... It's rust."


    3 members found this post helpful.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun. 24, 2005
    Location
    Alabama
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    8,182

    Default

    You can't fix someone who doesn't want to be fixed. Unfortunately, there is no way to force someone to get help if they don't want to. You can only save yourself. I hope they will understand that you care, and that they need help, because that would be wonderful. It's truly awful to watch someone destroy themselves, and not to be able to do anything about it.
    Last edited by JanM; Nov. 23, 2012 at 05:00 PM.
    You can't fix stupid-Ron White


    2 members found this post helpful.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Nov. 22, 2012
    Posts
    8

    Default

    I have a different perspective...

    I am not bipolar, so don't have an intimate understanding of that disease... however I suffered with terrible depression after a bad car wreck for YEARS before a close friend finally said "you don't have to live like this..." and went with me to the doctor for support.

    For me, it was a HUGE relief to have that conversation, because when you are the one suffering through it your perception gets very blurred and I had never even considered that there might be a way OUT of the hole I lived in.

    She, the best friend I have ever had, saved my life, because until I was in treatment I had no real idea of how terrible a path I was really on.


    1 members found this post helpful.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Sep. 14, 1999
    Location
    Just Enough Farm, GA
    Posts
    2,226

    Default

    I agree with anon. If your relationship is on the line, then you have nothing to lose by engaging in the conversation and you may very well save their life. I don't think it's necessary, or helpful, to approach this person with a diagnosis/label. Simply make observations regarding abnormal behavior and encourage and support them in getting help. It's also not helpful to have this conversation when he/she is in a manic phase as they are least likely to hear you then.

    Best of luck, mental health issues are beyond difficult and complex. I would suspect that your relative has no idea that they aren't "normal"(whatever that means) and can't even see that there is a different life for them if they get treatment.
    If you believe everything you read, better not read. -- Japanese Proverb




  6. #6
    Join Date
    Aug. 28, 2007
    Location
    Triangle Area, NC
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    Default

    This has given me some insight to move forward. We've discussed the inappropriate behavior before. It sounds like if I approach from a caring place of "I know you don't enjoy feeling that way, have you considered talking to a physician about it?" May be the best way to move forward.

    And this isn't a second cousin or anything, this is a relative close enough that emancipation from them is VERY socially unacceptable.
    www.destinationconsensusequus.com
    chaque pas est fait ensemble



  7. #7
    Join Date
    Mar. 16, 2000
    Location
    Chatham, NY USA
    Posts
    4,100

    Default

    PSJ, good luck. Perhaps you could get a recommendation for a psychiatrist, and offer to accompany on first visit... Important for you, though, is to realize that your love and concern may be met with something less than enthusiasm. And that whatever happens after that is NOT your fault. That you did what you could.

    My in-denial, bi-polar, nurse-anesthetist nephew committed suicide a few years ago. You can only do what you can do - and not beat yourself up for what you cannot do.

    Carol
    www.ayliprod.com
    Equine Photography in the Northeast



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