Just curious - how many of you are NOT looking forward to Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow? Let's commiserate...
We were supposed to have it at our new house this year. We started planning this over the summer when we were with SIL and MIL. We've been married a few years now and haven't had a big enough house before to host a proper dinner. SIL and family haven't come to anything at our house to speak of. Our little girl was super excited to have it at our house.
Two weeks ago, I emailed (neither return phone calls well) and asked if they had anything they'd like to have/bring - that I was planning on doing turkey, etc. MIL replies that SIL was having it at her house, had invited her inlaws, etc. Hubby just asked me to go with it. So I did. Asked what I could bring. No reply. Finally saw MIL (went to her house) and asked if she knew - evidently they've got everything. Bring whatever. Really? If I bring pumpkin pie, and there are five others, what's the point?
So, we'll trek to her house, spend a few hours eating dry turkey, getting ignored by everyone and then come home. Joy. I'm planning to take something to drink.
Not so much. I lost my job very unexpectedly (company just closed) a little over a week ago. It's putting me into a terrible financial strain (the company didn't file correctly for unemployment, so there's a delay on the checks... I'm frantically job hunting with no real success yet...), and with it being just before the holidays, I'm just not in the mood. This was my first "real" job and I loved it.
Anyway, I had agreed to take some petsitting jobs over Thanksgiving because I had to work the day before and after. Planned to go home to see my family (4+ hour drive) on the weekend. Well, lo and behold, now I no longer have that job and could totally have gone home for Thanksgiving. Trying to be grateful for the income that the petsitting will bring, though.
Luckily I have 2 phenomenal friends (one a previous college professor of mine) who have invited me to have Thanksgiving with their family. But, I'm just feeling so down right now, trying to process everything and having spent ridiculous amounts of time on a job hunt/application process that I still can't quite believe I have to go through again. It's taking a huge toll on me emotionally.
But normally I like Thanksgiving quite a bit. I hope that other COTHers are having a better time of it than I am this year!
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Your husband should have nailed his bitch of a mother and sister over the insulting way they treated you and your family. "Just go with it" is great for a mommy-whipped little boy.
i suggest starting your own family Thanksgiving holiday tradition...invite friends over who may not have local family to spend the holiday with and have a great time. Why would you ever want to spend time with these two cows who don't respect you or your loved ones...and give your husband a good slap, he needs it and should remember YOU and your daughter are his family, his mother and sister are relatives....Family is more important.
Good luck, stay home, have fun, screw the evil cows.
Do your own thing. Go tomorrow, say hi, stay however long you like, go home and enjoy yourself then Friday start letting folks know casually that you and hubbie will be hosting a big Turkey Day shindig for 2013 and they are welcome to come Invite friends and singles, get a pinata and have a blast!
The Knotted Pony
Proud and upstanding member of the Snort and Blow Clique.
Alt Route, I'd stay home. Look DH in the eye with a big bright smile and tell him you feel like you caught something contagious and you're staying home. If he's used to being bossed around by them he'll take just fine to being bossed around by you. Tell them you wouldn't want to make them all sick with whatever it is you're coming down with and make the best dang Thanksgiving imaginable in your new house. Do that for your kid and yourself; DH will be glad to have the peaceful spot to go that day, and who can argue with illness.
I have inlaws just like that and what I should have done years ago was put up good fences. I went to many a family function when I was ticked off on the inside and it rarely turned out well. Do your own thing. Be polite and join in when you can but make sure you have a fun happy home to fall back on.
I'm not looking forward to it, or cringing. It's going to be like most other days. DH is a vegetarian and he actively dislikes "turkey day." So actively against it that we will never get invited to anyone's house. He can't see past it to feel thankful about anything at all. Son is autistic, and he does not "get" holidays. Can't understand why anyone would want to celebrate anything. Very strange, but we are used to it. I just tell people we have a quiet family Thanksgiving, and that's kind of the truth. I do feel thankful for my family, friends, health and horses, but I miss the big meal with family. An option would be to cook a vegetarian Thanksgiving dinner, but that's a lot of work. DH wouldn't help, and kid wouldn't eat it.
And to the OP, it's time to start your new family tradition. Stay home!
Not, first time ever. Unnecessary, stupid, family drama, relatives who aren't mine and who I don't care for coming, etc... Oh well, it will be a few hours and then I can head back home and be with those I enjoy. Mom is staying with us tomorrow night, so I'll have all my favorite people (and animals) except my young adult son who lives 1/2 way across the country and won't be home until Christmas.
Alt route: I do understand. My MIL took over our wedding and made a scene because it was not a catholic wedding. She and my FIL refused to hang our wedding pictures we sent them for that reason. My FIL has passed and my MIL is now suffering dementia, really they live 3000 miles away and although we don't get together much, it is always an ordeal when we do. I would start your own holiday tradition, maybe just show up there for pie.
Pony4me- I understand your husband. Your son is likely enjoying more than he can articulate in his life.
I live many miles away from my family and Mr. Stolen's for good reason. We celebrate Thanksgiving with friends. I enjoy our friends much more than my family. That said I bake 3 apple pies and broccoli gratin every Thanksgiving morning and Mr. Stolen feeds the horses their buckets and reintroduces himself to them, he only does this on Thanksgiving.
I hope everyone can find their own peace and joy this holiday ! We sometimes have to seek this out in our lives.
OP, time to learn to say to the outlaws, I'm sorry, we've already made plans. We'll have to catch up with you next time. (I should have learned this early on. It wasn't until the bad behavior began to impact my adult children that I finally took a stand. My life was much better after that.)
Ugh! Not looking forward to Thanksgiving at all. I hate the traveling, everyone trying their damnedest to get you to overstuff yourself, the yelling at the football game, the small talk, blech.
I'm stuck driving so I can't even inebriate my way through it.
My plans for tomorrow consist of the following:
1. Host my 1st annual 5k Turkey Trot at my house. I will be the only runner, so I get top prize!
2. Walk the dogs because tired dogs are happy dogs.
3. Surf COTH off topic day & grade a smattering of student essays (stupid me for assigning an essay due before a holiday break)
4. Read and/or channel surf
5. Let my DH figure out what we are having for dinner. If Domino's is open, I have a coupon!
Honestly, I'd just like it to be over. I am unable to make the trip home to be with my family since I'm stationed across the country from them, so I'm trying to start new traditions like a big mish mash of food with friends. I have 28 days until I get to go home for Christmas, and I just want the time to pass until it's time for that.
I made my Mother's apple pie tonight and I'll admit it's been an emotional week, and I ended up in tears when my crust started falling apart.
I was also supposed to get test results back today about possibly having mono, but apparently everyone left early so I get to wait until monday.
Riding with my newly widowed mother tomorrow in hopes it will take the sting out of her first holiday "alone". For the last two decades, since my parents' divorce and subsequent remarrying, the big Thanksgiving dinners have always been held at my father's house. His wife has children (adults now with their own broods), mom's now-deceased husband had none. As a result sis and I always spent holidays at dad's while mom and hubby enjoyed alone time, a tradition that continued into our adulthood.
Mom's family is batsh!t crazy and she doesn't want to deal with the drama-fest holiday dinners turn into with them so we're going to load up the horses early in the morning and go out for an all-day ride.
After the ride my father and his wife have ever-so-graciously asked me to bring mom by for a visit and some turkey. Step-siblings, spouses and kids will all be there of course. All of dad's family (5 sisters with hubbies plus mom and countless cousins/kids etc) will also be there. There were some strained relations between the sisters and mom during the divorce but since that is decades behind them we're hoping all will go well. I asked step-mom tonight what if...she said if anyone has a problem with my mom being there to hell with them.
With step-mom welcoming mom into her home on Thanksgiving I have a feeling it will be a great meal. Everyone respects her so I'm sure there will be no cross words from anyone.
Afterwards it's back to mom's where we're going to grill a prime rib with green beans, twice-baked potatoes and white chocolate creme brulee. Not traditional Thanksgiving fare but it seems appropriate since this Thanksgiving is about breaking tradition and moving forward with her life.
It'll be tough on her with the still-fresh loss weighing on her mind but I hope with the trail ride, the loving support of my dad, step-siblings and especially my step-mom plus an awesome meal prepared by her personal chef (moi) we can get her through it!