[Tiffany01]

how do you handle a broken thanksgiving when your parents are split up??

[tradewind]

Usually it means the day is split up. One friend of mine cooks a Thanksgiving breakfast for her mom who has alot of relatives, and then goes and cooks Thanksgiving dinner over at her dads. Its tricky and exhausting, but seems to keep both parents happy. Best of luck.

[MoonoverMississippi]

It's not easy, unfortunately.
Are they located close enough that you could spend time with each?
Or spend Thanksgiving with one and Christmas Day with the other.

I hope you are able to have a nice Thanksgiving and figure out what works best for everyone.

[SmartAlex]

Whatever you do , do not attempt to eat three full meals. It hurts.

My solution, either everyone comes to my house and plays nice for a day, or I eat somewhere else and do pie with each parent.

After a few years it becomes more normal and you can switch off year to year. Or, Tday with one and Christmas with the other.

[AppendixQHLover]

Well considering your an adult...it is much easier.

Spend Thanksgiving with your dad since you don't live with him.

[Tiffany01]

Well considering your an adult...it is much easier.

Spend Thanksgiving with your dad since you don't live with him.

I would but he his going to my aunt's house so problem sloved.

[Canaqua]

It really depends on the relationship between the ex spouses. Many years ago, when I was recently divorced from my first husband, but we were on pretty good terms, ex would come with me and our son to my parents house for holidays. As ex became more independent of me, our son would split the day...my family ate early and ex's friends (his family lived far away) ate late, so DS had two meals. When everyone started moving further away from each other, we alternated...one year Thanksgiving with me, XMas with Dad, the next year the reverse.

[tryintogethere]

From a divorced mom's POV this is what I do for my daughter...granted she is only 9, but I see no reason why this tradition won't continue as she grows up. She spends Thanksgiving with her dad and grandparents, then when she comes home over the weekend, she celebrates with me and my parents. I think that while a holiday is nice there is no reason not to celebrate on a different day.
We do something similar for christmas. She spends Christmas eve with her dad and family and then comes home around 9 or 10 pm and is home with me for Christmas day (honestly she wants to be with me because I give better presents lol). The next day she goes back to her father for a day or two and opens her presents. It works well for all involved.

[BuddyRoo]

Honestly, it's no different than Thanksgiving or any other holiday with a big family when you're married or have a SO. YOu either juggle dinners on the same day or you plan to do holiday dinners on off dinner days to accommodate people.

In my family, we tend to move our holiday dinners to off days so that no one has to gorge themselves or dine and dash. Heck, most of us aren't even in the same state or in the same country half of the time.

One great tool is to plan thing yourself! YOU host a dinner. LEt everyone come to you! (that's my best trick!)

[fordtraktor]

One great tool is to plan thing yourself! YOU host a dinner. LEt everyone come to you! (that's my best trick!)

Ditto this, though I live a day's drive from my folks so I alternate hosting. Dad for Thanksgiving, Mom for Christmas this year (and they stay for about a week usually.) In-laws are always invited but never come so that makes it easy.

[Emryss]

You know, my Mom is a wise woman. She came to the conclusion that it is not the calendar date that is important, but the day with the family that is important. She held her own Thanksgiving last weekend - we "kids" all brought something to eat and enjoyed the day with one another. Today, she is in Oregon visiting her brother. She drives north while the weather is clear, and will drive back home when there is another break in the weather. (She won't do snow. Can't say as I blame her.)

Our family celebrates birthdays and Christmas and other days the same way. I'll have as many as four different birthday dinners spanning three months. We never celebrate Mother's Day on Mother's Day - I hate an overpriced, mediocre dinner at an overcrowded restaurant - we just get together when we can and enjoy each other.

Life is a series of moments to be enjoyed, and it's best if we realize that those enjoyable moments do not necessarily happen when the calendar dictates.

[Louise]

I think you have a very wise family, Emryss.

[threedogpack]

Our families have never been traditional. My ex and I divorced when the kids were young, but I work for a 24/7 organization so I often worked the actual holiday. That meant it was easier for the kids. I got the inch+1/2 and they got an uninterrupted holiday day with each of us.

It has continued to be this way even now that they are grown. I am off today but the youngest is working, the middle is out of state and the oldest is spending the day with the ex.

We will have our day together on Saturday.

It's all ok with us, they have to juggle so many things now that I want it to be as easy as possible. As Emryss said....it's about gathering together, not when you do it.