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  1. #21
    Join Date
    Nov. 13, 2004
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    City of delusion in the state of total denial
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    8,503

    Default

    I think the question, MissMyst, was whether your dad wanted to die because he taught you the word.
    "I'm not always sarcastic. Sometimes I'm asleep."
    - Harry Dresden

    Horse Isle 2: Legend of the Esrohs LifeCycle Breeding and competition MMORPG


    2 members found this post helpful.

  2. #22
    Join Date
    Nov. 17, 2006
    Posts
    3,704

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    What funny stories. I want to "appreciate" each and every one. I think I may have! Hope to read more.
    “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”
    ¯ Oscar Wilde



  3. #23
    Join Date
    Sep. 2, 2008
    Location
    Greeley, Colorado
    Posts
    3,763

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    These stories are priceless!!

    When I was 3, I rode my trainers GP horse in lead line dressed in full jumper attire. I told the judge that I was riding a "grand pee" horse. Everyone died laughing.
    **Friend of bar.ka**

    Fils Du Reverdy (Revy)- 1993 Selle Francais Gelding
    My equine soulmate


    12 members found this post helpful.

  4. #24
    Join Date
    Jul. 3, 2012
    Posts
    1,841

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    Words to live by!


    Quote Originally Posted by llsc View Post
    There was a little girl in line next to one of my daughters and the judge was asking all the kids, "What is the one thing your mom or trainer always tells you about your riding." Every kid answered, "Look up." "Put my heels down." ETC. This little girl answered, " To make sure I go to the bathroom before I get on." We were all dying laughing.


    1 members found this post helpful.

  5. #25
    Join Date
    Jul. 3, 2012
    Posts
    1,841

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    I've been in Morgans for 35 years and I can verify that sometimes "Ho Bitch" is the only thing that works.

    Great thread. I shared a few on FB, especially with my Morgan friends!


    5 members found this post helpful.

  6. #26
    Join Date
    Jul. 29, 2001
    Location
    we've got sand and rocks, and rocks and sand...
    Posts
    1,334

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    When I was a little girl my mom often put me in the leadline classes. I liked it, they gave out a piece of candy with your ribbon. At one show I was asked what I liked the best about riding. My very honest answer was: "The LOLLYPOPS!"

    I've got the photographic evidence from that show right here:
    https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?f...8&l=6a7fea1f7f


    Honestly, my opinion really hasn't changed that much over the years!
    The ninja monkeys are plotting my demise as we speak....


    7 members found this post helpful.

  7. #27
    Join Date
    Oct. 4, 2006
    Posts
    79

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    Very small local show and a very small 5yo was riding 14hander in a flat class. Well horse got to the gate and dropped his shoulder and ducked out, depositing the poor little kid in the dirt. Judge ran over and picked up the tearful little girl and said "Isn't he a naughty boy." Angelic child looked up at the judge and loudly pronounced "Daddy said he is a ef*%7%ing old bastard!"


    30 members found this post helpful.

  8. #28
    Join Date
    Oct. 13, 2006
    Posts
    3,505

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    The old bastard one finally got me! lol

    A friend of mine told me as a child her mother TIED YES TIED her to her saddle to do a walk jog class and the mare of course (barrel horse) took off with her in the class. I asked, "What happened!!????" She rolled her eyes and laughed, "She found the closest barrels of course. She ran me out of the arena flopping like a tiny rag doll and ran the friggin pattern around the trash cans in the parking lot and back to the trailer."
    ~~Member of the TB's Rule Clique ~~
    http://www.off-breed-dressage.blogspot.com/


    6 members found this post helpful.

  9. #29
    Join Date
    Jun. 5, 2009
    Posts
    175

    Default LOVE the little ones !

    I was leading a shy one whom the judge asked what is your pony's name ? Child mumbles " I'm not really sure..." When asked to put down his reins he quickly did, when asked if he could pick them back up correctly, he said "Not today"... !!!


    9 members found this post helpful.

  10. #30
    Join Date
    Dec. 22, 2000
    Location
    NY
    Posts
    14,886

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    Quote Originally Posted by NOMIOMI1 View Post
    A friend of mine told me as a child her mother TIED YES TIED her to her saddle to do a walk jog class and the mare of course (barrel horse) took off with her in the class. I asked, "What happened!!????" She rolled her eyes and laughed, "She found the closest barrels of course. She ran me out of the arena flopping like a tiny rag doll and ran the friggin pattern around the trash cans in the parking lot and back to the trailer."
    Hey, the horse was just doing the job she was trained to do!


    1 members found this post helpful.

  11. #31
    Join Date
    Sep. 26, 2010
    Posts
    4,048

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    please stop these funny stories. I'm too old to pee in my pants from laughing this hard.


    3 members found this post helpful.

  12. #32
    Join Date
    Aug. 15, 2008
    Posts
    4,577

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    Just told my husband the "whoa, bitch!" story and he's laughing so hard he's crying.
    "Aye God, Woodrow..."


    6 members found this post helpful.

  13. #33
    Join Date
    Aug. 16, 2012
    Posts
    66

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    A little girl at my barn was parading around in a walk class, and when asked to line up, the announcer said the judge would ask some questions.
    "What's the pony your riding's name?"
    "Gussy"
    "And how high is he?"
    "Well, his price was way too high?"
    That got the judge laughing


    2 members found this post helpful.

  14. #34
    Join Date
    Sep. 19, 2008
    Location
    Half past the point of oblivion
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    924

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    I put my *tiny* 4yo sister in a walk-jog class on my perfect 14hh pony. I figured, he listens to the announcer anyway so she'd be fine.

    He took very good care of her, but he was pretty lazy, so he walked and jogged in little circles around the judge instead of staying on the rail
    Holy crap, how does Darwin keep missing you? ~Lauruffian


    5 members found this post helpful.

  15. #35
    Join Date
    Feb. 24, 1999
    Location
    MD
    Posts
    3,379

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    When I was a junior, the little sister (who was probably like 4) of one of my barnmates went into a leadline class before a Grand Prix, back in the day when Seaworld sponsored a jump with the big Shamus for standards. The pony took one look at the Shamus and spun, causing the child to fall off. Child is okay and gets back on her pony for the class (in which they stayed as far away from the whales as possible).
    After the class, someone asked the child what had happened. Small child says, very seriously, "Millie spooked at the Shampoo jump and I fell off!" From that day forward, those whales were known to us as Shampoo.


    8 members found this post helpful.

  16. #36
    Join Date
    Dec. 22, 2000
    Location
    NY
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    14,886

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    Indy, that is hilarious!!



  17. #37
    Join Date
    Sep. 5, 2004
    Location
    Charleston, SC
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    1,272

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    We had a tiny student in the lead line class. The judge asked her how old she was "four years old" she replied. The judge then asked how many years had she been riding "6 years" she replied". The judge was cracking up....
    Fullcirclefarmsc.com


    5 members found this post helpful.

  18. #38
    Join Date
    Dec. 19, 2009
    Location
    Pennsylvania
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    1,287

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    Quote Originally Posted by llsc View Post
    There was a little girl in line next to one of my daughters and the judge was asking all the kids, "What is the one thing your mom or trainer always tells you about your riding." Every kid answered, "Look up." "Put my heels down." ETC. This little girl answered, " To make sure I go to the bathroom before I get on." We were all dying laughing.


    At my age, this is absolutely the BEST advice!


    3 members found this post helpful.

  19. #39
    Join Date
    Aug. 26, 2012
    Location
    MO
    Posts
    49

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    I led a friend's angelic little girl at a local show. She was on the old handmedown pony that several generations had learned on. He was less than enthused and she kicked her little legs off trying to keep him going.
    When the judge asked her the pony's name she said "His real name is Batman but today it should be Butthead". That of course got a laugh from the judge.

    As they were handing out the ribbons old Batman was perfectly happy to stand still and no amount of tugging from me and kicking from her was untracking him. She climbed down out of the saddle and disgustedly walked over to get her ribbon. As she walked past the judge she said "I have to pee, I can't wait for Butthead".


    11 members found this post helpful.

  20. #40
    Join Date
    Jun. 6, 2008
    Posts
    118

    Default

    These are priceless.



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