LOL I can so relate! I got a gorgeous double bridle for crazy cheap at the Dover tent sale. On the drive home i hung it on my knee, took up the reins and started "riding" my upper level movements, talking to Grace, my horse, the whole time (her one temps were spot on btw ;-) (Yes, DH was driving!)
Back in the pre-retirement days when I actually worked for a living, I had brought a well-worn bridle in to work to lend to a friend who had just purchased a hunter for his daughter (she had previously ridden stock seat). It had always been kept oiled and was very soft and pliable.
As I was explaining to him how to adjust the bridle, a young employee (20s) stopped, admired it, and began playing (actually, fondling would not be an improper description here) with the reins. She asked how I kept them so soft, so I explained all about glycerine saddle soap, Hydrophane, etc., etc. She thanked me and walked off.
Our project aide (also 20s), who'd been watching the whole show, leaned real close to my friend and I and whispered, "You do know she's into bondage, don't you?"
“There are two ways to conquer and enslave a nation. One is by the sword. The other is by debt.”