Job-haters unite! (possibly just a vent, but feel free to join in)
I hate my job. There, I said it. I don't appreciate it. I'm not grateful. I'd rather be dead in a ditch with the water washing over me. This job has made me cry at my desk. It's given my IBS. It's trained me to shake like Pavlov's dog when the phone rings or when an email appears on my desktop.
I could go on. Boy, could I go on. But it kind of repeats after a while and then I start frothing and I scare my dog. So please feel free to add your own complaints about the scum-sucking hell that is gainful employment (and gainful is a joke here).
I just quit my job last week. I'd hoped to have something lined up before quitting, but it had just gotten to the point where I. Could. Not. Do. It. Any. More. Period.
Best Move Ever. My skin has cleared up, I've lost a few pounds, and I'm no longer experiencing crazy vertigo--which are all things I was NOT blaming on my job. All the stress and worry that I knew about is also gone! (Of course! Yay!)
Are you looking? Are you interviewing? Do you need help reviewing your resume or finding things to apply to? Because I bet all of us here at COTH could help you with that, too
I work with special needs kids, and while mostly I like my job...there are days when I wake up and think, "I'd rather shoot myself in the foot/stab a rusty fork in my eye/throw myself down the stairs and pray I break something" just to avoid going to work that day.
There are only some days that you can be called every nasty name (literally EVERY nasty name), sworn at by a sailor trapped in a 5 year old's body, hit, kicked, and screamed at. Most days I'm good...but there are some (such as today!) where I'd do pretty much anything to avoid going in!
The money isn't even worth it! I've cried over these kids, I've been made to bleed from these kids and the physical aspects of this job have worn my body down that of someone 20 years older than I am.
Wow. Sorry Vacation1. I've definitely been there. And find myself there pretty regularly.
You are not imagining anything about this. Your job is making you sick. That's the place to draw the line. Are a lot of other people stressed, unhappy, or unhealthy at your job? If it's just you, are you doing something that really doesn't "fit" you and your personality?
I worked for years in a workplace that was attractive for the benefits it offered. But somewhat ironically a lot, like A LOT of people there developed weird maladies and many were shameless stress snackers. Ultimately I got to a point where I was suffering incredible headaches and cried at my desk often. What you wrote about phones ringing or emails is dead on where I was. When I finally made the decision to leave I was pretty surprised by the reactions of my coworkers. Basically, I was like the Buddha and had magical powers for being strong enough to leave it all behind. Looking back, I don't know why anyone would do that job and can't believe this square peg tried to cram herself into that round hole for so long.
But...the problem also lies with me and that may be the case with you, too. Some people end up in the wrong job for them but soon enough stumble upon the right fit and say incomprehensible things like "I can't believe I get paid to do what I love." and "It doesn't feel like work. I love everyday that I'm here." Yay for them. Maybe that will be you. But if you are like me at all in this, you may find that you will struggle to ever be happy in your work. I had occasion today to read O Magazine and in it was a questionnaire for Highly Sensitive People. I already know I am one by all the times that book has been recommended to me so I didn't answer the questions but I did read the paragraph at the end that mentioned such people typically change careers many times and struggle with job satisfaction because they are easily overstimulated and have a greater need than most to find meaning and challenge percieved injustices (my words). Sort of how we sometimes hear the advice to hold our noses and vote in an election I am learning to hold my nose and go to work - while still respecting myself, my values, my physical and emotional health and the signs that the place where I need to draw the line has been reached. Which is where you are.
So, now that we all seem to be in agreement on that point, what's your exit strategy? What options do you have? Can you take a sick week? Can you leave before having something else lined up? Will you want this employer as a reference and is leaving on a good note something you can do? If you are or get to a point that you are basically a wreck and really can't function at work I think you need to respect that. When a person pushes past that point (especially without an exit plan in place) bad things happen in the brain (how's that for simplified neuroscience?).
Anyway, good luck and keep us posted. "Gainful employment" tends to get me frothing, too. I'm not really built for it Feel free to PM if you need any extra support when the phone rings at you, etc.