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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan. 16, 2003
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    Tennessee
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    Default Family Friend got bankrupted by her kids but now needs assisted living. Need ideas.

    An elderly friend of ours contacted us recently because she couldn't afford vet care for her dog. We got the dog vaccinated, etc. but then found that her problems went much deeper. Through a series of very bad decisions on her part, she has no house, no assets, etc. She is in poor health, and really needs to be in assisted living, but with only a monthly Social Security check, that's unlikely in our community. She is currently living with a grandkid, but it's not a good situation. We've called a few social service agencies and while they are sympathetic, they have no answers. We asked if she has relatives or friends in an area with a lower cost of living, but she does not. None of her bad decisions (like deeding her house to her son, and then he sold it, took the money and disappeared) can be reversed, but we did get her a new bank account and moved her Social Security direct deposit so the grandkid didn't have access to it. She really needs to be some place with handicapped access, properly prepared meals, and supervision so she takes her meds correctly. Any ideas would be appreciated. Thanks!
    It's 2014. Do you know where your old horse is?



  2. #2
    Join Date
    Oct. 30, 2008
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    Default

    No ideas, but that's just awful. Poor lady...
    Flip a coin. It's not what side lands that matters, but what side you were hoping for when the coin was still in the air.

    You call it boxed wine. I call it carboardeaux.



  3. #3
    Join Date
    Apr. 1, 2008
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    4,537

    Default

    can you help with one good meal a day?



  4. #4
    Join Date
    Sep. 5, 2007
    Posts
    946

    Default

    No idea where you are located, but see if you can get her set up with meals on wheels. Also, try the DHS and see if she can get some kind of aid. She needs to be evaluated to see what she qualifies for. Most places that are assisted living will take most of her SS check, and give her a tiny bit of spending money every month. They usually provide meals.

    That is just awful that her son did that to her. I can't imagine doing something like that. Horrible!



  5. #5
    Join Date
    Sep. 13, 2006
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    At the back of the line
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    Default

    I used to work for a county run agency for older folks, they had meals and programs to help with bathing/dressing/cooking. Check with co and see what is available. Our state has an office to help connect you--if you cant find co agency call them.
    “Management is doing things right; leadership is doing the right things.” Peter Drucker



  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jan. 24, 2000
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    Somewhere in the Midwest
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    2,097

    Default

    She would qualify for HUD income based housing. Rent is based on income so in her SS is $500 a month her rent would be about $100 a month. They are not assisted living but many have senior services available. Can she take care of herself at all? She will also qualify for home health aids probably that come in and help a few hours a day. Google the HUD web site for rental properties, look for Senior properties.


    1 members found this post helpful.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    May. 15, 2006
    Location
    Eastern WV Panhandle
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    1,246

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by pony4me View Post
    None of her bad decisions (like deeding her house to her son, and then he sold it, took the money and disappeared)
    Isn't there a five-year "lookback" on that kind of transaction when applying for Medicaid? So, she may not even be eligible for Medicaid for quite a while if that happened recently.



  8. #8
    Join Date
    Oct. 14, 2006
    Location
    Canada
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    426

    Default

    I have no help to offer but wanted to say thank you to you for doing what you can for her.
    I cannot believe a son could do that to his own mother



  9. #9
    Join Date
    Dec. 31, 2000
    Location
    El Paso, TX
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    12,594

    Default

    Try to see if you can get her qualified for Medicaid (not medicare). They will pay for assisted living. Look into various assisted living centers. I was really impressed with the Good samaritan centers. They are not preachy/religious places. I checked them out for some elderly friends of mine. They allow pets. There is one in TN
    http://www.good-sam.com/index.php/locations/#



  10. #10
    pony4me is offline Grand Prix Premium Member
    Original Poster
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    Jan. 16, 2003
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    Tennessee
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    Default

    Thanks for the links and advice. The one HUD elderly housing complex in our city has a three year waiting list. Closest Good Samaritan facility is about a hundred miles away. We also asked if she had friends/relatives in any other cities in case they had more options. No luck with that either. If she didn't truly need assisted living I think she could find an apartment that would be affordable on her social security. Next step would be to see if locally available services would be sufficient for her to not need assisted living. Thanks!
    It's 2014. Do you know where your old horse is?



  11. #11
    Join Date
    Sep. 5, 2007
    Posts
    946

    Default

    I would definitely look into getting her into some kind of affordable apt for her, and see if she qualifies for some in-home care. I know a lot of the "assisted living" places around where I am aren't any better than having a small apt with an in-home care provider coming in to help her bathe, clean up and remind her to take her meds.



  12. #12
    Join Date
    Sep. 7, 2009
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    Lexington, KY
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    Default

    You're a good person OP. Karma will reward you. We should all pay it forward.
    "We can judge the heart of a man by his treatment of animals." ~Immanuel Kant



  13. #13
    Join Date
    Sep. 16, 1999
    Location
    Ohio: Charter Member - COTH Hockey Clique & COTH Buffy Clique
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    9,143

    Default

    Is there a REASON she has to stay local to family? You said the nearest GS facility is 100 miles away, but with the way her family is treating her (THEY should be taking care of this, not you), would it really be THAT bad if she went there... or anywhere else?
    ************
    "Of course it's hard. It's supposed to be hard. It's the Hard that makes it great."

    "Get up... Get out... Get Drunk. Repeat as needed." -- Spike



  14. #14
    Join Date
    Jul. 13, 2011
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    East Longmeadow, MA
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    Default

    I could be wrong but the last time I checked Medicaid would NOT pay for assisted living. Nursing home, yes. Assisted living, no. And depending on when she deeded the house to her son they might seek to reverse that transaction. What a cretin the son is.
    What's wrong with you?? Your cheese done slid off its cracker?!?!



  15. #15
    Join Date
    Feb. 3, 2000
    Location
    Nokesville, VA
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Capall View Post
    No idea where you are located, but see if you can get her set up with meals on wheels. Also, try the DHS and see if she can get some kind of aid.
    Just curious why you suggest the Department of Homeland Security?
    Janet

    chief feeder and mucker for Music, Spy, Belle and Tiara. Someone else is now feeding and mucking for Chief and Brain (both foxhunting now).



  16. #16
    Join Date
    Nov. 8, 2005
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    NC
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    Default

    Human Services, I'm betting
    If I knew what I were doing, why would I take lessons?

    "Things should be as simple as possible,
    but no simpler." - Einstein



  17. #17
    Join Date
    Jul. 20, 2010
    Location
    Texarkana, AR
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    Default

    She could possibly be eligible for Medicaid, depending on the level of care she needs. Mediciaid does have a 5 year "take back" for deeded property so they might seize the house or put a lien on it. Check with your state or local Department of Human Services. They should have services for the elderly, that may include some type of home health or assisted living situation. You don't even have to go to the local office, just check their website. If she is being exploited by the grandchild, ie her SS check is being used for the grandchild's needs instead of her own, Adult Protective Services may be able to help.



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