[msj]

I know that I'm thrilled with the fact that we live quite a distance away and usually only converse once/wk on the phone.

I used to do X-mas with him and the relatives (cousin and Aunt and cousin's grown children) but dropped that in '05. Reason for dropping in '05 was my very generous contribution to Red Cross for not only the tsunami in Indonesia early in '05 but an equally generous one for Katrina. I told the family I was using X-mas $+ for donation and asked them to do the same. The following year I had a horse develop RAO (heaves) and to find someone to come in and do normal chores with horses, dog and cat PLUS soak hay for both horses as they were out together was just not possible. I offered to do a summer get-together but no one was interested. My Aunt has since died and she was the primary reason I did X-mas with the family in the first place.

Finally in 2010 I no longer had horses that needed soaked hay and I was interested in joining the family for X-mas. I was told they were heading to Mexico for the holidays. I saw no reason to support the Mexican economy when our economy was in such terrible shape, esp. after the BP oil disaster, so I opted out.

I've learned I much prefer to spend the holidays with my 4-legged friends than family. I have no desire to spend thousands of dollars on gifts for people I see once/yr and do not maintain contact with throughout the yr. I've tried to keep in touch with cousins-sending emails but rarely get much response so I'm learning not to bother....Also with the cost of airfare to meet them somewhere, hotel costs, and the cost for someone to come do farm chores while I'm gone, I've decided it's just not worth it to me. I have nothing in common with any of the relatives and really do not enjoy being around 4 screaming little children (cousin's grandkids) ages 3-10. I've already posted on that thread about not liking to be around kids. Call me selfish if you want to but if I'm going to spend the money for a 'vacation/get away', I want to be able to enjoy it with people I enjoy.

I suppose some would consider that sad, but I certainly don't. Life is too short to spend time with people you don't enjoy being around.

[Milocalwinnings]

I have an uncle who is a high school teacher, so he's not making loads of money. He has two college aged kids and he complains all the time about not being able to afford to put them both through school. But instead of saving money, he spends it like there is no tomorrow.

His son goes to a $40,000/year school and his daughter is at a slightly cheaper school of $30,000/year. Both kids could have gone to a community college to cut down on bills but instead they are going to have thousands in student loans.
Meanwhile, he bought both kids brand new cars, right before college. Then he sold one of them because it wasn't suitable for the weather conditions. Then he bought another new one, of the same make and model, 6 months later. He also continues to trade in his cars, that are only a few years old, and buy new ones periodically every few years.

Oh, then there is the spur of the moment purchase of the camper. But wait, they never used it "because the family didn't want to camp in a pop up with no electricity" so they bought a full size camper. That they used once. And then sold a couple years later. And then they bought a boat... but they don't live anywhere close to somewhere to use it. I'm not sure whether they still have it or not. The latest was a time share... that they never use but say they will...

It just makes me cringe.

[hastyreply]

Gee, makes me appreciate my enigmatic brother we never see or hear from except when he wishes. It's been 16 yrs since we've seen him (when parents died) and 10-12 since I've spoken to him. I asked him one time about it and he replied " I think about you all often and think I should call, then decide to do it tomorrow". As we know tomorrow never comes. I occasionally can get cryptic replies to emails, after I figured out what his work email might be. But other than leaving a small sad hole in my heart he doesn't really interfere with us or cause us problems. He'll just appear again one day... or not.

[IveGotRhythm]

I think I will save this thread forever and even print it out and carry it with me as a response to the folks who think I need to provide my only child with a sibling.

[tradewind]

My brother has an IQ that is in the stratosphere, seriously...He has zero common sense at all. I love him to death, but he can make me absolutely nuts with his inabillity to comprehend the simplest of social graces or scheduling needs.

[Chall]

Y'all (and I'm not a southerner), I hope non of this is genetic

[MistyBlue]

As the baby in a family of 6 with 2 older brothers...if your brothers have never sat on your head and farted, you got nothing to complain about.

[Chall]

Rolled you up in a rug and sat on it or showed you how a match could burn twice.
Luckily, we all love each other.

[Diamondindykin]

Oh man my step-son is an idiot too!!!! He has straight A's so far this year but he can't do simple things we consider common sense The kid drives me absolutely bonkers sometimes and sadly his parents just make it worse by doing everything for him. He is 15 years old and at the rate he is going he will be like this forever and will most likely have to live at home forever

[alliemare]

Ughhh...I feel for you!!

My brother and I are extremely close -- age wise, but that is about it. For as long as I can remember, he has been the immature one. He has repeatedly screwed up. He totaled my parents car, got caught with drugs, and almost flunked out of college his first year. He drinks too much, gets black out drunk, and then doesnt move from his bed for 48 hours.

Recently, he seemed to get his sh*t together. After living with my parents for 2 years after graduating college, he got a job, met a girl, and moved out.

I, on the other hand, lived on my own after college, only to decide I wanted to go back for my second degree, and therefore it was financially responsible I move back home () I work full time, go to school at night, and take care of 5 horses in my "free time."

Well, about two weeks ago, brother dearest and his GF, came home to do some laundry, and hang out at my parents house (they were on vacay.) No biggie, Im hardly there any way. WELL, somehow, my dog got let out. And being the smart one she is, took off. I am at the barn doing stalls when I get a nasty phone call from brother dearest exclaiming that my dog got out and took off...and he was not going to be the one to catch her. She is "my responsibility." OK fine. But even if drop what Im doing and drive home, Im 30 minutes away. Can you please *try* and catch her? (she tends to take off if given the opportunity, but if you call her name, she is back in under 5 minutes.)

His answer? NO. Not my dog, not my responsibility.
OK, I understand that, but you did let her out, and I cant get home for 30 minutes. Can you please just try? NO.

And I quote, "Its not my dog, not my responsibility, why dont you stop being so immature, grow up, and take care of your problems. Everyone thinks you are immature, and I am not catching your dog. Deal with it yourself."

OK, WHAT??!?! He hangs up.

I start to pack my stuff up, to drive home and catch my dog. Im half way down the barn driveway when I get a text saying, dog came back.

Phew. I turn around, finish up the stalls. Two hours later, I am pulling into the drive way when my dog goes sprinting in front of my car. I slam on the breaks, almost hitting her.

So you mean to tell me that my dog came back, and you didnt lock her up? It takes two seconds to at least throw her in the fenced in back yard! But no, send me a text and say she came back, but dont do anything about it. When I inquired about it, the response I got was, not my dog, not my problem. Grow up and learn some responsibility.

WTH! UGHHH. Brothers can be SO infuriating!

(I know this is a trivial story compared to some of the others mentioned, but sometimes the ones we love just make us want to PULL OUR HAIR OUT)

[msj]

Ughhh...I feel for you!!

My brother and I are extremely close -- age wise, but that is about it. For as long as I can remember, he has been the immature one. He has repeatedly screwed up. He totaled my parents car, got caught with drugs, and almost flunked out of college his first year. He drinks too much, gets black out drunk, and then doesnt move from his bed for 48 hours.

Recently, he seemed to get his sh*t together. After living with my parents for 2 years after graduating college, he got a job, met a girl, and moved out.

I, on the other hand, lived on my own after college, only to decide I wanted to go back for my second degree, and therefore it was financially responsible I move back home () I work full time, go to school at night, and take care of 5 horses in my "free time."

Well, about two weeks ago, brother dearest and his GF, came home to do some laundry, and hang out at my parents house (they were on vacay.) No biggie, Im hardly there any way. WELL, somehow, my dog got let out. And being the smart one she is, took off. I am at the barn doing stalls when I get a nasty phone call from brother dearest exclaiming that my dog got out and took off...and he was not going to be the one to catch her. She is "my responsibility." OK fine. But even if drop what Im doing and drive home, Im 30 minutes away. Can you please *try* and catch her? (she tends to take off if given the opportunity, but if you call her name, she is back in under 5 minutes.)

His answer? NO. Not my dog, not my responsibility.
OK, I understand that, but you did let her out, and I cant get home for 30 minutes. Can you please just try? NO.

And I quote, "Its not my dog, not my responsibility, why dont you stop being so immature, grow up, and take care of your problems. Everyone thinks you are immature, and I am not catching your dog. Deal with it yourself."

OK, WHAT??!?! He hangs up.

I start to pack my stuff up, to drive home and catch my dog. Im half way down the barn driveway when I get a text saying, dog came back.

Phew. I turn around, finish up the stalls. Two hours later, I am pulling into the drive way when my dog goes sprinting in front of my car. I slam on the breaks, almost hitting her.

So you mean to tell me that my dog came back, and you didnt lock her up? It takes two seconds to at least throw her in the fenced in back yard! But no, send me a text and say she came back, but dont do anything about it. When I inquired about it, the response I got was, not my dog, not my problem. Grow up and learn some responsibility.

WTH! UGHHH. Brothers can be SO infuriating!

(I know this is a trivial story compared to some of the others mentioned, but sometimes the ones we love just make us want to PULL OUR HAIR OUT)

OMG! I feel for you. My brother may not have any common sense and is an AH quite frequently, had he pulled that, he'd be out on the street in a NY minute, maybe even less time!

I just talked to brother yesterday and told him to plan to bring warm clothes, hat, gloves, and boots. Maybe even long johns and I recommonded corduroy pants/jeans. He's used to warm temps all winter being from AL and NY in Dec can be pretty cold. He said he didn't have boots, long johns or corduroy jeans. I said go buy them and suggested LL Bean or Land's End.

I also told him he could NOT use my computer even to check his emails for the 3 days he's here as last time I had a devil of a time getting the damned porn off my puter and I didn't put it there. He about had a fit and I simply said, "My house, my rules, you don't have to come."

[SuperAlter]

This is why I question the trend of company’s requiring degrees for employment. Working in academia, I see book smarts Vs. Common sense every day.

While the kids are the same way, it’s the adults around here that make me feel like I’m brain dead on a daily basis. And you are teaching our future leaders.

Most of these people couldn’t manage to find themselves out of a paper bag.

A degree means absolutely nothing.

[wireweiners]

I'll trade the OP her technology challenged, scatterbrained brother for my bi-polar verbally and almost physically abusive brother. At least her brother is only mildly annoying, mine is threatening. I'll through in my nasty, condescending idiot sister for free.

[alliemare]

I also told him he could NOT use my computer even to check his emails for the 3 days he's here as last time I had a devil of a time getting the damned porn off my puter and I didn't put it there. He about had a fit and I simply said, "My house, my rules, you don't have to come."

Yep, my bro pulled the "porn on my brand new computer" thing as well. When I was going into HS, my parents graciously bought me a new desktop computer. Not even three days later, I was having all sorts of problems with it. The reason? Porn. Tracked it to the SAME DAY I got the computer. Seriously? Had to wipe the hard drive clean and start over.

Oh...and there is more to the dog story (I left it out because I figured that story was long enough...NOPE!) Earlier that week (again, parents on vacay) Him and his GF decided to stop home on a thursday night...oh, and throw a huge party. None of his friends work full time, most are servers, so they have the "luxury" of drinking heavily on a Thursday night. I get home from the barn around 8pm, ready to crash, and there are 15 people drinking and making loud noises. EVEN BETTER, my brother dearest passed out at 8pm, because he started drinking at 5. So I am left with a house full of his friends carrying on, when I have to be up at 5am. Awesome.

I didnt say anything. I let it slide, because I dont think its worth the fight. And he did clean up the next day.
But he couldnt let my dog in. AWESOME.

[Equibrit]

What d'ya expect. He is a brother. I have five !

[subk]

I have 4 of them. At any given time at least one of them is an idiot--one more often than the others. When he called last year to say he was coming to visit for Christmas, I told him I was looking forward to spending time with him and his family, and asked what hotel they were staying in.

[Tiger Horse]

No brothers, but 3 sisters. Two I have not spoken to or seen (both local) in two years. They both really dropped the ball when my parents were on the decline and dying. Third sister is physically handicapped and lives in a nursing home approx 5 min from me - I see her at least three times a week (I take care of her laundry, etc.) They speak to and/or visit my handicapped sister 1 or 2 times a year - usually at Thanksgiving or Christmas. The topper - they would not bring my sister to my husband's wake (I just didn't have the energy to do it myself) because they didn't want to upset me! Oh lordy - it's hard to imagine we grew up in the same house, raised by the same parents. I don't anticipate ever having any kind of relationship with them again. Sad really, but that's how it is.

[msj]

I'll trade the OP her technology challenged, scatterbrained brother for my bi-polar verbally and almost physically abusive brother. At least her brother is only mildly annoying, mine is threatening. I'll through in my nasty, condescending idiot sister for free.

I don't think you really want to trade. My brother is not only bi-polar but manic/depressive as well. When he's on his meds, he's not too bad, but he goes off meds for month's to yrs at a time and then the manure hits the fan and he's ended up the hospital a couple of times! You would think he would learn or even know better considering his degree is Psych.

One yr when he was really bad and still teaching, he called and left a message on my answering machine that he was going to jail. Turns out he didn't get his grades in on time and he thought the University was going to send him to jail.

I honestly try to be understanding but........

[Rubyfree]

Since we still have OT day and I'm still raging from my most recent brother encounter, I figured i'd come vent amongst sympathizers.

We went to dinner last night for my Mom's birthday. It was the first time my SO has met my Father and I was a wee bit nervous; I adore my Dad, but he can be a tough guy. Blessedly, Dad & SO got on like gangbusters. Yay! *Phew*

Unfortunately, my bro was in all his jackassy glory. SO has met him before and my parents & I are reasonably capable of ignoring him, but his ability to compromise even the most mild, pleasant social occasion with his drama is just MADDENING to me.

- He's awful to servers and spent the whole of the meal ordering our poor waiter around, barking requests, nary a thank you forth coming.

- I made my Mom a small cake to take home; that was her gift from SO & I. When we arrived, bro was in the bathroom. I gave her a hug, handed her the cake, introduced SO, typical arriving at dinner stuff. We sat down and Dad & SO were chatting a bit, getting to know each other. Bro returned from bathroom, never said hello. Picked the container the cake was in up from the table, said "What the hell is this?". Mom told him. He unceremoniously deposited it on the floor under the table & dramatically produced a few packages from under his seat, arraying them on the table in front of my Mother, and said loudly "I'm giving Mom her gifts, could you guys please pay attention?". Every gift required elaborate explanation of where it came from, why it was better than other items of similar type, and a photo op.

- SO is from NYC originally. Dad asked a few questions about how SO's neighborhood fared during Sandy; you know, topical ice breaker stuff. SO was answering, but bro, who of course knows everything about everything, loudly answers OVER SO to scoff at my Father's line of questioning. "Jeez, Dad, that part of the city got it BAD. It was all over the news!" SO & Dad maintain decorum and carry on their conversation. My bro, offended that they did not acquiesce his expertise on the subject and defer all further queries to him, thumps his elbows on the table, puts his head in his hands, and "stage whispers" to my Mother some bit about how my father "thinks he's so smart but pays no attention to the news". Loud enough that I & certainly SO could hear, although my Dad may not have caught it.

- Bro had a Halloween party on actual Halloween. I received a FB invite that I didn't respond to; for those of you not in the FB loop, it is not unusual to not respond to every freaking event invitation you get. He knew I was working that night. End of the meal, he turns to me and says "What did you do on Halloween & the saturday before?" I told him I was working. "And the saturday before?" Well, I was working.... "Why?". I was seriously confused as to why he so badly needed to know my previous week's schedule; he was being quite aggressive in the questioning. "Well, I HAD invited you to my place for a party. Guess you had better things to do." These were the only statements he directed to me all night.

Oh! And the entire reason we went to dinner last night & not sunday, my Mom's actual birthday? Well, bro never reregistered to vote in our city, despite living here for well over a year now. He "Didn't want to." He is still registered in my parent's home town, over an hour away. He lost his license a few months back. Rather than reregister NOW or get an absentee ballot (Something else he "didn't want to" do), he decided that my parent's should come pick him up last night, drive him back to hometown, he'd vote today & then they could drive him back to the city. Somehow, that was the most reasonable solution to him. Rather than drive up 3 days in a row, my parents moved bday dinner to last night. The very best part of this is that after dinner, My Mom called me to mention something she'd forgotten, and said that bro had decided he didn't want to leave his cats alone all night, so he was going to stay in the city & my parents could just come back & pick him up today.

Why my parents put up with his abuse, I just don't know.

[msj]

Rubyfree, we need to get our brothers together and maybe, just maybe, they will do serious bodily harm to each other. Either that or pay to send them to Siberia!

When I mentioned to my next door neighbor that my brother was coming, he said he had an extra room! I might just take him up on it and move there for the 3 days bro will be here.