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  1. #21
    Join Date
    Jul. 24, 2006
    Location
    Seattle, WA
    Posts
    5,485

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    Quote Originally Posted by caffeinated View Post
    I think it's a total myth that working moms can "keep it all together" - there just aren't enough hours in the day after commuting, unless you're also one of those people that doesn't need sleep.

    I think the biggest thing is to pick and choose what you can have control over and deal with. I let a lot of stuff slide these days and sometimes I hate looking at the dust bunnies and feel bad that SO does the vast majority of the cooking but it's what gets us through the day. Funny thing is, as crazed as I feel, I'm sure someone somewhere is looking at me going "wow she really has it all together!!" while they are feeling equally crazed and tired.

    And I only have one. hahahaha.
    I love this post. It's so true.

    I have a full time (and then some) job, ride 3 horses a day, show through the show season, and have 2 small(ish) kids (4 and 8). People tell me that they think I have things SO together all of the time. I say they just don't know me that well!

    My house is always a mess, I don't cook (thankfully DH likes to cook and takes over that responsibility), and I think the balance of housework really goes 60/40 with DH doing more than I do (he also works full time).

    I feel like I'm going about 18 different directions at all time. But I just got off of 3 years of commuting to the SE on a weekly basis and so EVERYTHING seems easier now than it did up to this point. I think it's all about perspective and you just have to find where you're comfortable and let everything else slide. And I do let A LOT slide.

    The funny thing is that the people who tell me that I have everything so together are usually the ones that *I* think really have everything together!
    __________________________________
    Forever exiled in the NW.



  2. #22
    Join Date
    May. 8, 2006
    Location
    Northern Indiana
    Posts
    765

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    Can I just say, on behalf of your children, and as the daughter of a mother that's always been the breadwinner as well as the real parent growing up - thank you. I know it's crazy for you all (I can't even imagine), but watching my mother work 60+ hours a week, then come home, cook, clean, and take care of my ailing father while raising 6 kids (we're all grown now) was really eye-opening. Not only that, she was the parent that supported me through everything (including driving 3 hours to Michigan hauling my horse even though she had never driven a truck/trailer just so I could show).

    I pray all of your children see the wonderful and amazing sacrifices and things you're all doing for your families and thank you accordingly in the future
    To be loved by a horse should fill us with awe, for we hath not deserved it.



  3. #23
    Join Date
    Nov. 1, 2005
    Location
    Bonsall, CA- with my horses finally home again!
    Posts
    2,165

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    I have found that the single biggest thing that allowed me to fit the pieces of my life more successfully together was to change into a job that had a lot less travel (from about 30% to 15%), and allowed me to work from home 2-3 days a week. the amount of time saved commuting, and the ability to take a few minutes here and there to get a few household chores done during the day (versus waiting until night, when they collide with dinner, baths, bedtime) has just made a huge difference in my stress level.

    I echo a lot of what has been said here- I get the house cleaned, I will make double meals and freeze stuff, the Costco prepared meals are actually pretty good (and if you justify it by what you would otherwise spend on takeout, you come out ahead ), and you generally have to just figure out what is important to you, and what can slide until you have more time to address it.
    ~Living the life I imagined~



  4. #24
    Join Date
    Jan. 19, 2000
    Location
    Ellijay, GA
    Posts
    6,040

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    I am hoping to be able to quit my current job and work from home once #2 comes along. Our goal within the next 7 months is to pay off our house which would take the full time working burden off of me...I could work from home or even closer to home for less $$ and be ok.

    I was super lucky in being able to find the perfect lease situation for my horse...I get weekly pictures and I can tell he is so loved. Once I got used to the idea I realized that having him leased was a good thing for both of us...the guilt of not being able to keep him in work was gone but knowing he is still mine keeps me semi sane.

    By the end of the day I just feel unraveled. I get home around 6ish and its a mad rush to get the kidlet fed, bathed (which doesnt happen every night)...and in bed by 8...and I hope he isnt having a mommy melt down which involves him throwing a fit when I try to do anything but hold him...must be some seperatation anxiety going on. My husband doesnt get home until 8 most nights so he is just not there to help...closests friend is an hour away and closest family is over 100 miles away.

    Some days I feel like super mom and get everything and then some done...and days like last yesterday I feel like EVERYTHING is on MY shoulders and its slowly crushing me!
    Busy Bee Farm, Ellijay, GA
    Never Ride Faster Than Your Guardian Angel Can Fly
    Way Back Texas~04/20/90-09/17/08
    Green Alligator "Captain"



  5. #25
    Join Date
    Oct. 8, 2002
    Location
    Maryland
    Posts
    9,744

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    Quote Originally Posted by relocatedTXjumpr View Post
    I was super lucky in being able to find the perfect lease situation for my horse...I get weekly pictures and I can tell he is so loved. Once I got used to the idea I realized that having him leased was a good thing for both of us...the guilt of not being able to keep him in work was gone but knowing he is still mine keeps me semi sane.
    I really wanted to do that with mine but the liability issues (he is prone to being ridiculously, dangerously girthy. I can deal with it but don't want other people to) made that impossible. So I am *almost* at peace with him living the life of a retired horse at 10. He likes it, and is doing well, so I guess it should be OK, but... ugh.
    "smile a lot can let us ride happy,it is good thing"

    My CANTER blog.



  6. #26
    Join Date
    Feb. 18, 2009
    Location
    far side of the moon, Utah
    Posts
    104

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    I've given up any resemblance of control. House looks like a cross between my favorite tack store and Cabelas right now due to hunting season. The yard is a mess. I'm good at keeping up with the laundry, but cleaning, especially dusting is so behind you can almost grow a garden on any surface. I would like to have a housekeeper every 2 weeks, but the budget wont allow it. I've decided that the baby and my husbands new mule are the priority and everything else can wait. Oh, yeah and my husband is out of town until Thanksgiving to boot.



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