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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Dec. 4, 2005
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    Question Is it ever rude to say hi at work?

    My new job (that I love) is at a community colleges military site. My position was brought in because the military site failed an audit and, under the lone direction of someone who should have been monitored and replaced eons ago, managed to have about as much fraud, irregular conduct, and illegal/unethical work situations as you could possibly get under the roof. That director was forced to retire and many were happy. There is a group that is not. They do not want change and do not want "new" nosy people from "the district" poking around telling them what to do. And I am the "new" Fiscal Sup who is from "the district" poking around pointing out what is and is not legal/ethical/state or federal mandated. So, while I have made new friends, I also have about 3 or 4 women who don't much care for me. It's not personal, it's my position, and I know that.

    One thing I always do is greet my staff. Even though my office is upstairs, I always stop in first and last to say hello/goodbye. Now, one gal, let's call her Sandy, has made a comment already (at a large staff meeting) that she does not like to be distracted and if she is looking at her computer screen to not bother her. She does registration so she and two or three others are front and center in a large area that accommodates students, etc., it is not a quiet area by any stretch of the imagination. She always gets the crankiest, most annoyed look on her face when I come in and, of course, say good morning or good afternoon to all of them. I am thinking she is going to complain about it, she loves to complain, try to get the other gals fired up and then have a "meltdown" at work about it. So, I'm trying to think of a way to head that off at the pass.

    I don't yell or holler, I just say hello, so nothing out of line. I know she is just being a stinker because she hates change and wants to make the "new" "district" person look bad. I would like to eventually win her over but I have also informed her sup that if any more public meltdown hissy fits occur that I would be having a firm discussion about inappropriate work behavior with her staff.

    Ideas?
    The Knotted Pony

    Proud and upstanding member of the Snort and Blow Clique.



  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun. 14, 2006
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    VA
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    Default

    She should probably get over herself given that her SUPERIORS are greeting her.

    I have one like that at my office. I don't know why she sitll has as job. She is just sour.And frankly, I can program her right out of a job tomorrow. She's useless too. But anyway....

    Your subordinates should greet youback and not be douches about it. End of story.
    A good horseman doesn't have to tell anyone...the horse already knows.

    Might be a reason, never an excuse...



  3. #3
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    Thankfully, she does not report to me. MY staff is uber-fabulous and I plan to get them both on track to being promoted within a year. But, she and the others are on the way to where my staff are and I'm not going to go walking by and not greet people. That, to me, is rude and cold and that is not the image I want.

    They all report to the VP and Director of the Military Program, while I report to Finance which ultimately reports to the Foundation and WA State, that too makes her and her buddies mad *eyeroll*
    The Knotted Pony

    Proud and upstanding member of the Snort and Blow Clique.



  4. #4
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    Feb. 2, 2003
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    Iowa, USA
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    there's nothing you can do to make that one happy. She doesn't have to like you, or her job, or that you say hello, but she does have to act like a professional. And a routine greeting as you pass through the office is not a disruption nor anything that she can reasonably protest against. Just ignore her stink-eye faces, and let her look ridiculous. I can almost guarantee that most of the ppl who work there are sick of dealing with that battleax also. They're not going to run up and pat you on the back, but believe me they're watching to see how you handle her (and rooting for you).


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  5. #5
    Join Date
    Sep. 5, 2007
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    I'd just keep saying hi! If she's going to throw a hissy fit over it, she's the one that's going to look like a royal freaking idiot. She'll probably get laughed at over it too.

    Maybe if you dropped off doughnuts or something once in awhile when you said "good morning" she'd be less likely to be a cranky bitch. Hey, you never know, some of the most sour horses can be won over with a treat!


    1 members found this post helpful.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Feb. 20, 2011
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    Dutchess county, NY
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    Can you take her at her word, that she is working and doesn't want her concentration broken? Then when by chance, you pass her when she is not actively concentrating, smile and a quick hi



  7. #7
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    And I know you are right Hippo! I just really, really want to make sure to extend kindness to her when possible and not shut her down too fast, KWIM? I have learned to speak in kind, tactful ways at work but my biggest area of opportunity is my blunt, almost aggressive way of saying and doing. It gets me where I need to but I make folks cry, I have made men cry at work (and got my butt chewed on for it by my semi-irritated and much amused AGM).
    The Knotted Pony

    Proud and upstanding member of the Snort and Blow Clique.



  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by dudleyc View Post
    Can you take her at her word, that she is working and doesn't want her concentration broken? Then when by chance, you pass her when she is not actively concentrating, smile and a quick hi
    I don't go say hi to her directly, it's a large lobby area, think college registration area, that I walk through and she and a few others sit at the counter. I say hello to all as I walk by. Unfortunately, I know she is full of it because she is interrupted by students all day-it's her job LOL!!
    The Knotted Pony

    Proud and upstanding member of the Snort and Blow Clique.



  9. #9
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    Sep. 28, 2010
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    Oh, my goodness, sounds like someone was trying to get your position and didn't make the grade.

    Never lower yourself to someone else's level, rise above them. I'd say "Good Morning" to everyone and continue to my desk. She doesn't have to acknowledge you and you shouldn't expect that she does. You obviously are a much more caring person than this grump. Just think how unhappy she must be all the time. Such a sad little person.



  10. #10
    Join Date
    Oct. 7, 2006
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    I think I would just quit saying Hi to that one. She might start feeling left out and come around, or she might not. Maybe you could make a point of saying Hi if you meet her in the hall, rest room, kitchen/lounge, etc., where she isn't concentrating on her computer screen.

    We have people like that at work. I make a point of saying Hi to most, but there are 2-3 so rude that I make a point of ignoring them.

    Of course, I'm not anyone's supervisor ...
    Founder of the People Who Prefer COTH Over FB Clique
    People Who Hate to Rush to Kill Wildlife Clique!
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  11. #11
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    Mar. 4, 2004
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    Take doughnuts? Maybe she's food motivated?
    Caitlin
    *OMGiH I Loff my Mare* and *My Saddlebred Can Do Anything Your Horse Can Do*
    http://community.webshots.com/user/redmare01



  12. #12
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    If she hissy-fits again, have her written up. I find written warnings do wonders for attitude (also in a military setting, also a new boss, and also forcing necessary changes on established practices).



  13. #13
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    Oh, I am but we have a little different progression to discipline. The job is union (another thing that was blatantly ignored out there!) and there is a set way to do it. I will have a discussion with her, her sup (the VP) and email a summary to all three and HR, further incidence will be a Letter of Counseling, etc.
    The Knotted Pony

    Proud and upstanding member of the Snort and Blow Clique.



  14. #14
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    If you didn't greet her, she'd be making comments about what a snob you are.



  15. #15
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    This is true, Mara. LOL!!
    The Knotted Pony

    Proud and upstanding member of the Snort and Blow Clique.



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