[Aggie4Bar]

My roommate happens to be ex military. No way I'd date him.

You have a male roommate? Not to burst your bubble, but most guys are going to assume there's more to your roommate than just "roommate". That alone will complicate your efforts to date.

[SaturdayNightLive]

You have a male roommate? Not to burst your bubble, but most guys are going to assume there's more to your roommate than just "roommate". That alone will complicate your efforts to date.

This must be generational, because I know plenty of people living with roommates of the opposite sex, and I've never known it to complicate their dating lives. I would also never assume that someone was having sex with their roommate. I'm in my mid-twenties and a couple years out of undergrad, if that helps...

[Natalie]

This must be generational, because I know plenty of people living with roommates of the opposite sex, and I've never known it to complicate their dating lives. I would also never assume that someone was having sex with their roommate. I'm in my mid-twenties and a couple years out of undergrad, if that helps...

I second this. Living with a male roommate is only weird if you make it so, if you know what I mean. It's not all that uncommon amongst people in their 20's and 30's, at least in my area.

[LexInVA]

Yeah, it's pretty normal to have 20-something co-ed living arrangements in urban areas these days.

[danceronice]

I might be stalking Mike if he lived near me.

Hey! Take a number there! (Sorry, Mike. We're not REALLY stalking you. Probably.)

[Jazzy Lady]

While it's normal for co-ed roomies these days, if your neighbour has seen him in and out of your house, and you and him haven't had a casual conversation in which you've indicated that he's only your roommate, it's possible for your neighbour to think that he is your SO and not your roommate. All the more reason for you to ask him out.

[tle]

Yeah, it's pretty normal to have 20-something co-ed living arrangements in urban areas these days.

So I guess this does make me odd -- 43 (I think he's mid-30s) and rural.

Yes, he's male. He's a decent guy that I've known for about 7 years now. I wouldn't say he was at the top of my list of people I know for roommates.... but he certainly wasn't at the bottom. And there is and never has been any attraction there AT ALL. Honestly, if someone I meet is going to assume that after talking to me that something has to be going on, then that is someone I probably wouldn't get along with anyway. Assuming before, I get. But being so hung up on it that it "complicates" basic dating? Sounds like someone has more issues than I do already! LOL

[tle]

While it's normal for co-ed roomies these days, if your neighbour has seen him in and out of your house, and you and him haven't had a casual conversation in which you've indicated that he's only your roommate, it's possible for your neighbour to think that he is your SO and not your roommate. All the more reason for you to ask him out.

Yes, we've had that conversation. He was even introduced to roommate one day.

[Renn/aissance]

You have a male roommate? Not to burst your bubble, but most guys are going to assume there's more to your roommate than just "roommate". That alone will complicate your efforts to date.

Maybe not- my roommate (also one of my closest friends) is male and it usually goes the other way, where his dates think there's something else going on. I've never run into it as a problem. It's the neighbors (and some of my kookier family) who think it's weird.

[Aggie4Bar]

This must be generational, because I know plenty of people living with roommates of the opposite sex, and I've never known it to complicate their dating lives. I would also never assume that someone was having sex with their roommate. I'm in my mid-twenties and a couple years out of undergrad, if that helps...

Or maybe geographical. I'm 32... hardly old. I refused to go out with a guy once because he had female roommate. It was too weird to me. A guy I did date (briefly) gave me no shortage of hell for even having male friends. He was absolutely convinced that any male friend was "with benefits", which I assumed had to do with his own hook-up lifestyle and my lack of interest joining it. I've yet to meet anyone with a roommate of the opposite sex that hasn't had some sort of something going on - currently or formerly - with that person unless they're related or batting for the same team. So that's the perspective from which I commented. There are men out there who will rule a girl out for a male roommate and vice versa.

[tle]

I've yet to meet anyone with a roommate of the opposite sex that hasn't had some sort of something going on - currently or formerly - with that person unless they're related or batting for the same team.

Well, now you have! Definitely not batting for the same team (in fact, roomie currently has a GF that he acquired AFTER he moved in, I've yet to meet her)... not related... and absolutely nothing going on. You're welcome for expanding your horizons/world-view.

[LexInVA]

That's what I love about being without roomies. No woman is gonna rule me out for living with my dog, especially since he's so cute and cuddly and I get nothing but compliments about him from the women who meet him.

[SaturdayNightLive]

I would find it very strange if one of my friends told me they ruled someone out because of a co-ed roommate. But that's different life experiences for you.

While I have not had a roommate of the opposite sex (with the exception of current SO), I do have several close (straight) male friends. Those friendships have never affected my love life, or, to my knowledge, theirs.

[Renn/aissance]

That's what I love about being without roomies. No woman is gonna rule me out for living with my dog, especially since he's so cute and cuddly and I get nothing but compliments about him from the women who meet him.

Well sure, but does he pay rent?

(Actually just had that conversation with my roommate and his dog... "If we are leaving the heat on because you think the dog gets cold, the dog needs to chip in on the electric bill.")

Closer on topic, the male roommate thing has actually worked for me dating-wise... the guy I'm currently dating is a former coworker of my roommate's and he was the one who set us up. Sadly, none of my friends are his type.

[Snowflake]

That's what I love about being without roomies. No woman is gonna rule me out for living with my dog, especially since he's so cute and cuddly and I get nothing but compliments about him from the women who meet him.

Now see, I have two cute dogs who have actually put a damper on my dating life because it means I go home right after work to let them out instead of starting date night right away. Dudes seem to take issue with me not being at their beck and call.

[thatmoody]

Now see, I have two cute dogs who have actually put a damper on my dating life because it means I go home right after work to let them out instead of starting date night right away. Dudes seem to take issue with me not being at their beck and call.

then they aren't very adaptable, now, are they? I would much prefer someone who understood dogs and the way they need to be cared for than someone who expected to be cared for LIKE a dog . Unfortunately my chihuahua (who came as a really poorly socialized mess) is NOT conducive to a decent love life. He is, in fact, an active deterrent, as sweet as he is towards me. Ah well, he is good company, and is slowly getting better.

[fluffy_pony]

Why don't you ask him if he just wants to get coffee sometime? No heavy dinner date formality or pressure. Just coffee! Good luck!

That, or even better, ask him to help you with something in the house! Something to fix, or something heavy to move... Great way to talk to him without having to invite him for anything. And then you can always offer to "return the favor" or invite him for coffee to say thank you

[Mike Matson]

Hey! Take a number there! (Sorry, Mike. We're not REALLY stalking you. Probably.)

Call me, maybe.

[thatmoody]

Mike, did you ever see the video for that song and how it turned out? You might want to reconsider

[JGHIRETIRE]

Honestly?? I'd say Why. But that's just me LOL

I guess this whole post is going to come down to "How??" A co-worker says I need to talk to more men when I'm out... except that the eventing/dressage/HJ shows I go to don't HAVE any men (or at least none of the available variety). this is the same co-worker that tells me all the time about how girls are asking him out. Totally inappropriate girls (for him) but still. Last date I went on was XH in 2005.

I signed up on Match.com a couple months ago and haven't even gotten a wink from someone that isn't 800+ miles away (and yet I've sent out a dozen winks and just as many emails). Talk about an ego buster. I do like my neighbor across the street - turns out we graduated from the same high school (he's 2 years ahead of me). VERY nice guy and a great neighbor, but so far nothing in the way of asking me out or anything.

Not sure if I'm asking for advice, or just support. I'll take what I can get, cuz I sure ain't getting dates.