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  1. #1
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    Default Another "Kids" Spinoff Thread

    I would just like to get some feedback, both from people who aren't fond of kids and people who are.

    What would you do? How would you feel?

    Went to church tonight for supper and instead-of-Hallowe'en program. I was chatting with one of the staff members who had her almost-one-year-old child with her. Child had a NASTY cough. The sort of loose, yucky cough that last winter had the local public library posting signs that said "If you're too sick to go to school/work, please don't come here." This kid seems to have chronic respiratory problems but I don't know if they're contagious or not, I just know that when the kid gets one the whole family gets it, or the others get it and then the child does.

    Anyway, I went on in to supper and was sitting happily alone eating my supper when the church secretary came in with the kid. i like this woman, we have gotten to be sort-of friends, and I enjoy our occasional suppertime visits.

    Not this time. She sat down across from me, set the kid down on top of the table, and proceeded to baby-talk him and also chat with me. Kid didn't exactly reach out to grab my food, etc., but he was so close I was dreading the germs he might be breathing all over my food and me. I said something about his bad cough; secretary ignored remark. A few minutes he gave one of his horrible ugly coughs and she said, to him, "Oh, my that IS a bad cough." I remarked that I HOPED IT WASN'T ANYTHING SERIOUS. She just kept him sitting on the table breathing.

    I finished half my supper, said I was going to go get a to-go box and take off, tried to be very friendly and polite, but what I wanted to say was "Get that kid away from me, I can't afford to get sick."

    I thought she was WAY out of line to set the child on the table and then to keep him there after I mentioned his bad cough and she saw/heard it for herself.

    Feedback, anyone?

    Come to think of it, I'd have been just as put off by an adult with such a cough, but for some reason some people seem to think kids have unlimited rights to all available space no matter how off-putting/downright nasty they are at the time.

    At least this child was clean and not smelly!
    Founder of the People Who Prefer COTH Over FB Clique
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  2. #2
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    Sep. 26, 2010
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    Default

    I don't have kids, but I have plenty of nieces and nephews and friends with kids. I do like children, but am amazed by how many parents don't supervise their children properly. Things like:

    1) parents gabbing with friends in Starbucks while the infant in the stroller screams bloody murder. I love kids, but I want to enjoy my drink and so do the other patrons. Please go outside until your kid quiets down.

    2) Parents who let their child kick the seats on an airplane. This is particularly annoying on a 6+ hour flight from one coast to the other.

    3) Parents who let sick kids cough all over the place. Please stay home. I don't want to get that bug either.


    I think a lot of this stems from self-centeredness and sense of entitlement.


    Really, I do love kids, but when I was growing my parents insisted that I behave and I did. These days, many kids seem to lack discipline and manners.


    6 members found this post helpful.

  3. #3
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    Jan. 16, 2011
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    Default

    I don't think she got what you were saying unfortunately but I agree. I keep my sick kid home unless it is essential and he HAS to come, for example grocery shopping when DH is out of town. I wouldn't want those germs either!



  4. #4
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    Dec. 31, 2000
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    I probably just would have asked if she could not put her little darling on the table while you are eating. Or grabbed a chair for mom and him and said something like "let me get you chairs so he isn't on the table where people are eating".


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  5. #5
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    Mar. 4, 2007
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Wellspotted View Post

    I finished half my supper, said I was going to go get a to-go box and take off, tried to be very friendly and polite, but what I wanted to say was "Get that kid away from me, I can't afford to get sick."

    I thought she was WAY out of line to set the child on the table and then to keep him there after I mentioned his bad cough and she saw/heard it for herself.

    Feedback, anyone?

    Come to think of it, I'd have been just as put off by an adult with such a cough, but for some reason some people seem to think kids have unlimited rights to all available space no matter how off-putting/downright nasty they are at the time.

    At least this child was clean and not smelly!
    Wellspotted, I'm with you. I don't have kids, but my sibs do and they keep them home when they're ill.

    I would have had to say something, half-jokingly, "wow. that sounds nasty. I'm going to take my weanie immune system home, because I catch everything that comes within 10 feet." And gotten out of there.


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  6. #6
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    Jul. 3, 2012
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    Default

    I don't like kids in general, but I am starting to think it is more that I dislike parenting approaches.

    My friends came out to visit my horse, they bring kid, who actually rides in a therapeutic riding program (he has minor leg handicap), so I thought he would be interested. All he did was complain the whole time, he was incredibly rude to me & everyone else at the barn.

    At one point punched his mother in the leg (he is TEN) & she goes into this whole spiel: "why did you hit me? what are you trying to tell me?" fine, ask him that after you tell him that he is a 10 yr old & needs to stop acting like a whiny spoiled asshole. She certainly isn't doing him any favors.


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  7. #7
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    Feb. 16, 2012
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    TN
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    I’m hugely immuno-compromised,(er sp?) It’s something people don’t seem to get and I’ve gone from friendly to joking to almost rude in some people opinion. I don’t care if Jesus himself walk into a room and merely sniffles I IMMEDIATELY get up and apologize that I can’t stay because their a hazard to my health and I don’t feel like spending a few weeks in the hospital because my ulcerative colitis went crazy because of the common cold… my boyfriend is then trained to explain that for some people a cough is just that but it may make me sick for months.

    Am I an extremist? Yeah. I don’t think I’m quite that much of a fragile flower but I haven’t gotten sick and at this point I can’t afford to

    And fwiw I think sick kids are beyond nasty I can handle pussing bleeding horses but green kid snot.. no way.


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  8. #8
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    Oct. 1, 2004
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    Small kids are like little mobile petri dishes. Once they start daycare or school, they swap microbes and bring everything else home. So I don't fault you at all for being icked out by someone else's crusty cougher. Even people with kids are grossed out by other peoples' kids. And I prefer dog/horse germs, too.

    The situation you encountered was a parenting issue. It's difficult to have adult conversations and (much needed!) adult interaction with a needy baby/toddler in tow, but at the same time, it's just gross to put a kid on a table or counter. I fuss at the kids at home for sitting on the countertop, and I know them. The unknown, diapered child or hygienically-challenged young boy sitting on an eating surface is murder on the appetite. It's why I'm strict about covering noses/mouths when sneezing or coughing, taking only what they touch, keeping hands to themselves, etc.... I'm not a fan of other peoples' kids, so it's important to me that mine be pleasant and likable. But I think less germaphobic individuals just don't consider that others may be grossed out or view their perfect children as something less than precious and endearing.
    Jer 29: 11-13


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  9. #9
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    Jul. 19, 2007
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    Michigan
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    Kids are always walking germ factories. I got used to getting sick working around them. I'd be less worried about one with a chronic/recurring thing than one with a fever and more acute symptoms. You can't really keep kids home all the time when they're just mildly sick (heck, sets them up for real life when most are not going to have the luxury of lots of sick days. I certainly don't. And I'm in food service again. If you're wondering, by the way, the health laws are such that the ONLY times an employer has to forbid an employee handling food is if they have vomiting/diarrhea, if they have a known food-borne illness like salmonella or E. coli, or if they have Hepatitis A which is about the ONLY case where you can put someone on leave or terminate them for being sick. There are no other diseases where you HAVE to send an employee home. I'll be at work tonight with body aches and a headache and chills, because if I don't go, I don't get paid.)



  10. #10
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    Feb. 14, 2012
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    Default

    I have a kid, and that's gross. Granted I'm not a huge fan of other people's kids, but when DD is sick I stay home with her unless it's something that I can't get around.

    My MIL recently had my nephew over night when we planned to make a trip down there. Nephew had been running a fever, and drooling like a fiend (he's 3). She didn't say anything to us because she was afraid that we'd reschedule our trip. I suspected something was up with him, and we left early. She called DH after we got home and said that my nephew had hand, foot, and mouth and we should keep an eye on DD. Sure enough the next morning she had a temp of 104. It was awesome... I was so pleased. *eyeroll* It was the worst week of my life...they sent the poor kid to daycare on Monday too, so his mother wouldn't miss work.

    I don't really understand why people insist on bringing their sick/angry children out in public if they don't have to. I'm mortified if DD starts so much as fussing when we're out and I like to keep the plauge contained into our own home... not to mention she's more likely to get even sicker once her immune system is already compromised.
    Quote Originally Posted by MistyBlue View Post
    I prefer them outside playing as opposed to standing in the barn aisle playing "I can crap more than you"
    New Year, New Blog... follow Willow and I here.



  11. #11
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    Sep. 16, 1999
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    Default

    1) a child does NOT belong on the table when other people are eating. I feel the same way about people who plop down little poopsie on the counters at fast food places. Either be agile enough to hold the kid AND conduct the transaction, or set the kid DOWN (meaning a stroller, high chair or on their own 2 feet). I DETEST having to go to the counter after a kid has been sitting on the counter. EW!! Cough or not, I would have said something. You're EATING for gods' sake!!

    2) Bringing sick kids to healthy places. UGH! Where do I start? Perhaps with the story of an office I shared with 1 coworker... we're talking maybe a 12x12 room? Her kid was too sick to go to school so she brought him (9yo I think) to the office. Yes, he was quiet. He slept most of the day curled up on a blanket on the floor. But he was SICK and in my office!! Did I mention we had no windows we could open for fresh air?

    Sorry, I know people have to work. But really? If I get sick, I have to miss work too. AND there's no one to take care of me or my other responsibilities. I know I can't possibly dodge all the sickness but it's not like I go looking for it either so please... if your kid is sick, keep him home. If it means you have to miss work or reschedule or something... sorry... your problem. If you had said kid and thought they'd never require you to take a day off work, then you're beyond naive and probably shouldn't have had them in the first place.
    ************
    "Of course it's hard. It's supposed to be hard. It's the Hard that makes it great."

    "Get up... Get out... Get Drunk. Repeat as needed." -- Spike



  12. #12
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    I would not have been pleased either.
    Quarry Rat



  13. #13
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    I am not fond of kids, but I actually find that irrelevant here. I am very, very careful to avoid getting sick. I work for a public health agency and everyone is pretty good about handwashing, using sanitizer, exiting the bathroom by using your paper towel to open the door, etc. Because it's drilled into all of us at work, I'm doubly pissed when people come to work/meetings coughing, sneezing and blowing their noses all over the place. Last Wednesday, both the person sitting next to me and the person across the table from me were sick. There was a dial-in number for the meeting and they could have used that if they didn't want to miss it. Grr.

    The only thing worse than being sick is having to take care of horses in crappy weather while working full time---while sick.
    Life would be infinitely better if pinatas suddenly appeared throughout the day.



  14. #14
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    Not to mention, if the kid as that sick, it probably wasn't helping it to get better being out among people, going from chilly outside to warm inside, etc. while it's immune system is already battling infection. Yep, some GREAT parenting there...if you can't stay home with the kid get a sitter or drop off with a friend relative for a few hours. They tell you to stay home when you're sick for two reasons: one, you don't want to pass it around, but also two, your body will fight the infection better with rest and limited exposure to other factors.

    OP was nicer than I probably would have been. I probably would have gotten up, explained that even when they are not sick, children are not centerpieces and do not belong on dinner tables, especially children that are not reliably toilet-trained, and possibly even commented that she should pay for me to get another meal because I would now be going without the one I paid for because of her little snot muffin.

    I also agree with Snicklefritz and would like to add parents that let their kids dictate what they do all the time...um, no that isn't how it works. You aren't going to scar little Poopsie for life if you say "no" once in a while and mean it. She is, however, going to be one screwed up adult if she is brought up to believe she should get her own way all the time.



  15. #15
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    Nov. 24, 2006
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    Yes, sick kids shouldn't be out there exposing their germs , I totally agree. I have a thing for people who blow their noses at the table while others are eating so that would totally just gross me out to see a sick kid like that. But i will add, that as soon as you're a mom- your kid could have the Plague and you don't worry about catching it- you want them right there, in front of you, and will willingly do all the nasty cleanup the kid needs without worry. I would never have thunk it either, prechild ;-)
    Kerri



  16. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by SnicklefritzG View Post

    1) parents gabbing with friends in Starbucks while the infant in the stroller screams bloody murder. I love kids, but I want to enjoy my drink and so do the other patrons. Please go outside until your kid quiets down.

    2) Parents who let their child kick the seats on an airplane. This is particularly annoying on a 6+ hour flight from one coast to the other.

    3) Parents who let sick kids cough all over the place. Please stay home. I don't want to get that bug either.


    I think a lot of this stems from self-centeredness and sense of entitlement.

    Meh, in my momma's case, sick kids in public came from poverty. School was cheaper than daycare on the fly, you dig?

    It sucked rocks as a kid to go to school sick. Maybe, however, it was character building for me and contributed to my git-r-done work ethic.

    The rest of it she would not have done.
    The armchair saddler
    Politically Pro-Cat


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  17. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by kasjordan View Post
    But i will add, that as soon as you're a mom- your kid could have the Plague and you don't worry about catching it- you want them right there, in front of you, and will willingly do all the nasty cleanup the kid needs without worry. I would never have thunk it either, prechild ;-)
    I get that. But it still doesn't mean OTHER people want to be around your little puke machine.
    ************
    "Of course it's hard. It's supposed to be hard. It's the Hard that makes it great."

    "Get up... Get out... Get Drunk. Repeat as needed." -- Spike


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  18. #18
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    It depends on what was the reason for the cough. Kids have allergies just like adults do . They have drainage and can't blow their noses like adults do, so you get that croupy,wet cough. I am more concerned with his butt on the table. My kids were rarely sick and if they were either my husband or I stayed home with them on Sundays.



  19. #19
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    And another thing!

    Hey, all you adults with free will, car keys and your own personal immune system. Don't you carry around your own personal set of antibodies with you? I sure do. Oh, and if I'm not rested, eating badly and get sick, well, I'm part of the equation that produces my own suffering. But remember that most of us don't go as far as the Japanese, wearing their masks if they are sick and must be out in public.

    Back to the easy-peasey personal responsibility part: If you think kiddo is passing the pestulence, get out of the way! Be a bizatch about it on the way out if you like.

    My point is "Do you want to be happy, or do you want to be right?"
    The armchair saddler
    Politically Pro-Cat



  20. #20
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    Nov. 24, 2006
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    Quote Originally Posted by tle View Post
    I get that. But it still doesn't mean OTHER people want to be around your little puke machine.
    Did you read the first 2 sentences? I totally agree.

    My "but i will add" is more towards the mothers frame of mind.
    Kerri


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