[Mara]

Yes, that one. Who's there? Who is approaching?

I'm 44 and some of the signs definitely indicate that the old baby factory (never used) is finally giving up and putting up the "Out of Business" sign. I've had a few night sweats and some changes to my cycle.

Honestly, I am sort of looking forward to it, as my uterus has never been anything but a nuisance to me. I asked my mom yesterday how her menopause was, and she said it was more or less a non-event. Said she didn't even have hot flashes, and that she found that sort of disappointing since she's always cold! Good news, since apparently menopausal symptoms seems pretty consistent within families.

Drawbacks? Pros and cons of hormone therapy? I guess my biggest worry is thinning hair, though that wasn't a problem for Mom either.

[Bluey]

Hormone therapy for menopause is generally to control severe symptoms.
If you don't have any, you don't need to mess with any hormones.

If you get sick and your hot flashes are debilitating, I had a friend that had those, yes, hormone therapy is a real life saver.

For most women I know, if they had children or not, it also was very much a non-event, as your mother reported.

I think 44 may be a bit early for peri-menopause?

I would check with your Dr, to be sure all is ok.

[BuddyRoo]

My mom has had issues but not til she was in her early 50's. She's 62 now and still dealing with it. She has had the hair loss too btw.

Me? I started having hot flashes and night sweats about a year ago and I'm now 34. I mean I literally soak my clothes at night, then freeze. Last week, most nights, I changed clothes in the middle of the night more than once.

It blows. I have not looked into hormonal creams or pills yet because for most of the last year, they thought this was related to my lupus.

I don't think it is.

My uterus has gone unused and while my husband and I have talked about having kids, due to his vasectomy 12 years ago, our only shot is IVF and the price tag is comparable to a nice imported and well trained warmblood gelding. I think I'd rather have the latter than an infant at this point.

Good luck OP.

[gabby.gator]

I'm on the other side now, probably started @ 44 or 45. it wasn't as bad as for some of my friends..... I only had one really bad "P", and then, done. Haven't had one for almost 3 yrs now.

the night sweats are the WORST! I wake up some nights and have to change head to toe and the blankets and sheets! Actually now I sleep on a small fleece throw or something like that so I don't have to wake up hubby to change the sheets on our bed. I just get a dry layer, lol, and change my clothes.

other than that, it hasn't been too bad. I didn't really have lots of mood swings, and no other symptoms. My hair has def. not thinned! :-)

don't do hormorne therapy unless the symptoms really disrupt your life.....

[candyappy]

If not too bad I would pass on taking hormones. I had problems that required a partial hysterectomy at 42. I still have my ovaries and have had an occasional night sweat/ hot flash here and there over the last 7 years but hopefully that will be as bad as it gets.

BuddyRoo-- 34 is really, really young! What does your doctor say?

[trubandloki]

I do not think mid 40s is way too early. It is on the young side but not really young.

The hot flashes and night sweats suck. Period.

[BuddyRoo]

Candy, I don't think it's actually that uncommon! I have a colleague at work who hit the same wall at 35. She does the hormone cream.

I have not discussed it much w/ my doctors beyond the Lupus as for the longest time, they though it was all related. But since I started keeping a log, it does appear that it is related to hormones more than anything. I don't always have a lupus flair up at the same time.

So we shall see. But there is no mistaking night sweats if you have them. That is for sure. Miserable stuff. I haven't slept more than 4 hours in a row any night in probably over a year as a result of night sweats. Totally totally sucks.

[Mara]

Other signs I've had (and I did discuss this with my GP recently. She agrees it's probably peri-menopause):

-No more pre-menstrual alerts. No sore boobs, mucus changes, nothing. It just starts.
-Cycles are either very heavy and short, as in I start thinking I may completely exsanguinate out my hoo-hah in 3 days, or light and long. Think 9+ days of mild/moderate bleeding. The cramps are really bad during the "light" months, too. All in all I prefer the short intense ones. I've bought 2 weeks' worth of black underwear, because I am tired of ruining my nice ones.
-No longer am I every-28-days-like-clockwork. 5-6 weeks seems to be the norm now.

[BuddyRoo]

Welcome aboard Mara. Welcome aboard.

I'm not particularly fond of being part of this club, but it's a good club nonetheless. Just think....after 10 years or so of this, we won't have to worry about BC anymore.

Oh wait. I don't have to now. So what's the upside?

Take care. Talk to your docs. I've heard good things about the soy supps but haven't tried them yet.

[stolen virtue]

My screen name is the horse I did not buy to do IVF. She was such a sweet mare and went great for me but I did elect to do IVF.

Buddyroo-hope all is going well for you.

PS: Yes, the hot flashes suck especially when you are meeting with a bunch of 20 something staff. I'm taking flax seed oil and it has helped, my hair has thinned a bit but it is really thick to start with.

[Calhoun]

I went through menopause in my mid forties. My number one piece of advice is, if you are overweight before menopause, it's going to get worse after you finish. You will wake up one morning and 10lbs of fat will suddenly attach itself to your belly, and it's not the solid kind, it's fluffy fat that jiggles and falls over the side of your breeches. I am shocked at how fast it came on; have always been careful of my diet and never worried about excess weight. Besides weight gain, my worst symptom was insomnia.

[MistyBlue]

Menopause can vary wildly from woman to woman.

Usually your immediate female family members are indicative of what you'll probably go through. Including start time and length.

Please be aware that for some it's almost a complete non-issue, for some it's horrendous and life altering and for most it can be anywhere in between. With fluctuations being normal too...go from easy-peasy to HOLY WTF and back again.

And often when you think it's "over"...it restarts for shits and giggles.

Those who have not had children may experience a rougher than average time of it.

I'm 43 and now considered Done. Well, Post Menopausal. More than a year since the last cycle. Started late in my 36th year. Which is quite early in general, however in my family it's normal. So far the oldest woman to finish it in the family was 45.

BTW, finished means no more periods. (and Hell Yeah to the Heavy/Exsanguinate 2-3 day cycles...laughed my ass off because it's SO true!) It does not automatically mean no more other symptoms.

According the latest I've heard from my Ob-wan-gynobi on hormone therapy:
Long term therapy is what has been studied and found to be dangerous. Short term to control symptoms has yet to prove an increased risk, but also hasn;t really been studied either. Long term is considered 2 or more years.

I guess the biggest issue with HRT was/is that women would automatically go/be put on it and stay on it for the 5-10 years menopause can take. That turned out to be a Bad Idea.

HRT may not (maybe) be a risk if it's short term and you carry no predisposition to cancers, etc.


Many people get relief from mild to moderate symptoms with OTC stuff like black cohosh or other supplements high in soy. Soy can carry other problems.

All in all it boils down to:

Most scientists must be male. Because for a decade now we've made sure there are pills that can grow hair and give a 4 hour boner to an 80 year old man but can't find relief from an actual condition without causing cancer in women.

If your mom, grandma, etc didn't have a huge problem with the change, you most likely won't either.

For a few it can also trigger chronic pain, FM is most common in women during menopause IIRC.
No matter what, have your Vit D and Calcium monitored. The earlier you start and go through menopause, the more bone loss you'll experience over time. Often the drop in Vit D is what causes chronic soreness.

[dbtoo]

Night sweats for a couple years, no hot flashes, no mood swings, really a non -event except so so glad to be finished with those god awful cramps!

[sk_pacer]

I wish you a happy non-event like your mother had which seems to be the same kind I had. I wouldn't know a hot flash if it came up and introduced itself and showed all its credentials to prove it, same with hormonal mood swings. It was as simple as my cousin said it would be - one month a period and then absolutely nothing, no problem AND the bonus of a few bucks saved every month on 'sanitary' supplies.
I never knew night sweats were unusual because I have had the odd episode of that my whole life and any mood swings I have are directly in sync with chronic pain level - if I hurt bad, I am grumpy, if not, just my usual self.

MistyBlue - preach it, sister, about scientists being men. It's the ONLY logical conclusion that can be drawn for the complete lack of help for those women who need it. Hell, if MEN hadda go through the monthy mess, there would have been a damned cure for it!!!!LOL

[tradewind]

Mine has not been fun at all. I had a hysterectomy but they left my ovaries due to the type of breast cancer my mom had. I can not take hormones at all. I have had the most miserable hot flashes on the planet...I have made some dietary adjustments and it has helped some, but still not fun. I hope you do indeed take after your mom and have a non event. My hysterectomy was totally worth it, so I am just taking menopause one step at a time.

[JohnDeere]

Yes, that one. Who's there? Who is approaching?

Glad to hear this topic, I am nearly 47. I sometimes get hot at night (wintertime) but are those nightsweats? Or is it sleeping next to the human furnice? Ive had hot flashes before but they were from medicine. Does it really feel like a burner inside your body? Im really regular and it never changes. Im thinking Im not quite there yet. What else can I watch for?

Female relatives (I have a lot) are either dead (gmas) or had surgery young so no one to ask.

[BuddyRoo]

Glad to hear this topic, I am nearly 47. I sometimes get hot at night (wintertime) but are those nightsweats? Or is it sleeping next to the human furnice? Ive had hot flashes before but they were from medicine. Does it really feel like a burner inside your body? Im really regular and it never changes. Im thinking Im not quite there yet. What else can I watch for?

Female relatives (I have a lot) are either dead (gmas) or had surgery young so no one to ask.

Maybe it's different for different people but for me and the friends I have who have them, night sweats involve literally drenching clothing in the middle of the night. Usually with no complication other than you wake up FREEZING because you're WET. I quite literally (I am not exaggerating) change clothes twice over the night at times. But what wakes me up is the fact that I am freezing my ass off and find myself in wet clothing.

I don't even sweat like tihs when exercising. It's crazy.

[Canaqua]

I turned 50 last summer and not much has happened yet. The occasional night sweat, cycles are shorter (21 days), but still very regular and periods are short (3 days), with one heavy day, the others light. This has been going on for a year or so with no change.

I'm kind of surprised at how long it's taking to get there...my mother was DONE, as in no more periods at all, at 46. I didn't start my period until 16.5 and was told that the later you start, the earlier you finish...guess not in my case.

[catknsn]

I'm 45 and I can't wait for it to be over. The last few years, I finally understand why some women are literally bedridden during their periods. It's taking more and more painkillers to get through that time of the month and I am usually, like most horsepeople, pretty tough about pain. I don't care if menopause sucks, I'm still hoping it hurries up and gets here!

[JohnDeere]

Maybe it's different for different people but for me and the friends I have who have them, night sweats involve literally drenching clothing in the middle of the night. Usually with no complication other than you wake up FREEZING because you're WET. I quite literally (I am not exaggerating) change clothes twice over the night at times. But what wakes me up is the fact that I am freezing my ass off and find myself in wet clothing.

I don't even sweat like tihs when exercising. It's crazy.

Nope dont sweat. Stick a leg out from undercovers and Im good. Great another adventure-wait and see.