I am having one of those weeks where I'm not sure why I gave up Breyers and moved on to the real things.
As is well-documented here, the OTTB has been lame for a month. Chiro and farrier come out tonight, and farrier and I will hopefully have a heart-to-heart about the foot soreness, since the vet sees no reason why my delicate snowflake should be so sore after a trim. I have plans to change farrier next round.
But now my Appy is giving me palpitations. I discovered he's been turned out on a different field by himself (WHY???- I'm still working on this with the BO, because there's NO reason for him to be turned out alone), and last night, he had a little gas colic as a result.
He's also got a giant crack in his hoof that may or may not be a blown abcess, but doubtful. Can't rightly say, because he becomes suddenly semi-feral when you ask him to do things he doesn't like. (You remember that scene at the end of Men In Black, where Will Smith is taming the alien ala rodeo? That's what it was like getting banamine in him last night. I've only had full ownership of him since the summer, so this is something we're working on.) Anyway, he seemed NQR Tuesday night, so I lunged him, and sure enough, he was off on that foot.
So that's two gimpy horses, one with an upset belly, and the other with undiagnosed ouch. I can say with confidence that the vet has diagnosed the OTTB sound in all four legs and feet. That's just a fantastic bonus, but I'm really starting to question my sanity. I'm prone to anxiety anyway, and this ain't a helpin!
Anyone else have those moments where you just want to face palm and reconsider your decisions? I will say, I absolutely ADORE my horses- this is not about me wanting to euth them or sell them or walk away from them. It's just a matter where I'm trying to remember where the joy is, after all the months of sleepless nights worrying about my boys. It will come back, right?
Im going through the same thing. Cant find a boarding situation that doesnt make my face break out, sleepless nights, heart palpitations, stomach in knots, and lack of concentration at work. Its not worth leaving because its damned if you do, damned if you dont. Id leave one place only to face different circumstances at another. At least once a day I think it would be so much easier if I just sold my horse and just took lessons until we can afford to own a farm-ette of our own where I can have a set up thats actually safe. Gaaah.
Last edited by BeanCounterPony; Oct. 4, 2012 at 11:27 AM.
EW: Sorry to hear of your horses' problems, but YES, the joy will come back. I won't go into details, but I am going through some similar issues now. One thing that helped me was to remember that horses have long lives and that it is really about our relationship with each other. They NEED me to take care of them, they depend on me to be their advocate with vet, farrier, etc. Other times, I need them. Just their smell can lift my spirits, their warmth under my hands. The fact that they give themselves up to me and cover my mistakes. Allow yourself to remember all the good and trust that it will continue.
Every time I walk into the stall and get horsie snuffles, I remember why I'm there. The OTTB likes to rest his head on me and just "be." It's just this health stuff- I would love to be able to drive to the barn without the whole drive being a panic attack about what I might find.
I keep thinking that just two months ago, I was thinking about finding a leaser for the Appy because I don't have time to ride both of them every day. I didn't want them to solve that problem for me by becoming lame!!
Horseless doesn't help. I spent about a year after I rehomed my mare that hated my guts without a horse and somehow the money got spent anyway and I was just miserable. Sorry to hear you're having a rough time