[2DogsFarm]

My housecast has Super Powers that alert her when my breathing changes from Sound Asleep to Almost Awake.
That is her cue to start walking on me - I swear she wears teeny high heels! - with especial attention to the stomach/bladder region.
Guaranteed to get me up.
I am allowed to pee, but accompanied by her constant yeowing meant to alert me to the fact that feeding her ASAP is far more important than what I happen to be doing.
Then she has to sit in the guest bath calling for me to come turn on the faucet "Just So" so she can drink from the trickle. The acoustics in there work best to be heard from any point in the house.
Too strong a drip and I get The Look of Disgust only a cat can give.

In the Land of Have You Ever:
Woken up with 90# of lab-mix stretched out between you & DH in a double bed?
On his back?
Head on the pillow?
Snoring?
With DH shaking dog gently saying "wake up"?
Since the alternative was 90# of dog leaping awake, I guess DH had it right.

[Guin]

Have you ever scrunched yourself into a teeny-tiny ball on one corner of your queen sized bed,because your cat has strategically curled up just so that you can't move without disturbing them?

I go to bed first and if it's cold, Mr. Kitty comes with me. DH often ends up sleeping in the guest room because Mr. Kitty is on his pillow and "I just didn't want to disturb him."

[Guin]

Bathroom Persons: Do you not have DOORS in your homes? I am aghasted at all these toilet tales!

[Bluey]

Bathroom Persons: Do you not have DOORS in your homes? I am aghasted at all these toilet tales!

Doors?
Moot point.
There is no way to beat "them" to the bathroom.
I don't know what would happen if that door was closed with a human in there.

I also have a little dog that thinks human sitting on toilet is great for petting and bringing something to throw, for her to retrieve and bring back and drop in your lap, time and again.

[ChocoMare]

Of course we have doors... but when I'm home alone, why bother? Besides, how else could the kitteh's get in their daily "Annoy Mama" quota?

While we're at it: Anyone else have a cat that sings to.... nobody?

I have an orange tabby (Pumpkin) that will walk into the kitchen, sit in the middle of the floor, and meow/sing while looking up at the ceiling (We say she's praying to Ceiling Cat ). It's not just a two-tone/syllable simple meow. It's Meeeeeeee-owwwww in varying tones & pitches. If you walk in there and look at her, she's like "What?"

That cat is seriously weird.

[lovey1121]

Have you ever been awakened by your inner RUT-ROH to feel something wet under your fingers?

And upon finding a plate-sized pile of daaark brown liquid, leap/fall out of bed, and whip off the covers, only to reveal DH laying corpse-like, hands clasped at his chest, covered from crotch to ankles and in between with more of said daaark brown ick?

Did OH NO HE DI-INT race through your mind as you reluctantly, resolutely bend down to sniff....praise the heavens, just dog puke. Did guilty JRT peek out from under the covers from your relatively clean side of the bed?

Did you then relish the look of confusion, horror, and fear on DH's face as you woke him up and you just said "LOOK DOWN THERE"????

NYUCK NYUCK NYUCK

[Long Spot]

I don't know what would happen if that door was closed with a human in there.

I do and it's just as tragic and upsetting as you might think!

I often see cat paws poking questioningly under the door as if to say "I say, man, are you OK in there?!?". It's always the best actually lean over and poke one of those paws. All hell breaks loose on the other side of the door, the dog, the husband and possibly the neighborhood are alerted that something is going pear shaped in cat town.

[solara]

One cat likes to accompany me to the bathroom, walk past me and rub herself all over me, and then hop up onto the tub (which is next to the toilet) and demand pets. The other one will just rub against me. But if I close the door? TRAGEDY. They mew and beep and whine and stick their pitiful little paws under the door and even manage to watch me from under it, while whining, with their little paws scrabbling at the floor because I've neglected them.

I don't let them sleep with me because my boyfriend can get allergic (only when they're near his face though) so I get full-on headlong charges into my door by my 9 and 12 pound cats. They also like to claw at said door, stick their eyes under, and throw their toys into my room. They generally quiet down when I turn off the light to sleep, but if I want to sleep longer than they consider necessary? Yep, more forceful, headlong charges into the door.

I love my cats.

[Mosey_2003]

Bathroom Persons: Do you not have DOORS in your homes? I am aghasted at all these toilet tales!

In my defense, I didn't realize that the second bathroom door in friend's house was open. Probably because I was staying there after imbibing adult beverages so as not to drive impaired.