[Guilherme]

Same, same, perhaps she is concerned about whether she will continue to have you as a riding buddy when your horses' spine gets sore.

Even a blind hog finds an acorn every now and then.

I don't understand why anybody rides with an annoying person for an extended period of time and then whines on the internet for an even longer period of time that they don't know what to do. Is their brain made of silly putty?

For God's sake be an adult. If you want to ride "treeless" then do it. If you want to hang out with annoying people then do it. But maybe growing up is a better idea.

G.

[Behind the 8 Ball]

I told her I wanted to ride my horse alone as I felt he was too reliant on other horses. I gave them a 10 or 15 minute head start before I headed out. I never saw them on the trail. I loved being able to pick the pace and which trail or non trail to ride on. It was so nice and relaxing.

That sounds lovely! IIRC you were nervous about hacking out alone so this was a great day, yes?

[dacasodivine]

That sounds lovely! IIRC you were nervous about hacking out alone so this was a great day, yes?

Yes, a great day. And yes, I was nervous about hacking out alone. I'm a worrier. Fortunately there was nothing to worry about. The weather was perfect and my horse was great. And he makes great company.

[dacasodivine]

Even a blind hog finds an acorn every now and then.

I don't understand why anybody rides with an annoying person for an extended period of time and then whines on the internet for an even longer period of time that they don't know what to do. Is their brain made of silly putty?

For God's sake be an adult. If you want to ride "treeless" then do it. If you want to hang out with annoying people then do it. But maybe growing up is a better idea.

G.

"Mostly this is a vent, but if she doesn't lay off soon, I am going to have to stop riding with her."

That was at the bottom of my very first post. It's called venting.

[cowboymom]

He's a man-he doesn't understand!

Sounds like you've made good progress, D!

[GotMyPony]

He is a man... who, in my admittedly limited experience on COTH, often gives good responses but sometimes tends toward the sanctimonious. I believe this was one of those times. Just sayin'

[debbg281]

Just so others know, I am an opinionted horse woman, and of all the horse ladies I know, they all have their own opinions when it comes to the subject 'horse'. what i also will say here, is I'm very disappointed, and obviously now aware that the person who posted the way she 'feels' about me did not have the decency, or what ever you want to say,to say these things 'to' me, instead of 'about' me. I am someone you either like me or do not like me, as I am VERY direct. Iam senior' in age i guess you could say, but despite my years I have always been of the type that I do not put on any 'airs' when it comes to interacting with people. I would not try to intentionally hurt someone, so obviously, I have. With me, what you see is what you get. Danette might have added that I have happily shared many books on various horse subjects, to include saddle fitting. I have gone thru many saddles myself and worked with a chiropractor/acupuncturist to come to the knowledge I have on the subject. But it is 'my' opinion, which is based on my experience and research. I do not require nor expect anyone to agree with 'anything' I say, but what I do expect from people I associate with to be 'honest;'. So, if I say something about someone it is something I would say to their face. Thing is in the horse world, it is a very small world. I've been registered here for months, but do not frequent this. But someone who is 'honest' with me, felt I was done a disservice by danettes comments on me here. I'm sorry you feel that way danette, I've always come when you called to ride, always on time (which both of us appreciate) and I tried to be a sharing/caring friend to you since I've known you. I've shared my tack many times as you were 'experimenting' with what would work for your horse, as I have many different applications horse in my quest for knowledge and what works best for me. I do not insist anyone agree with me, but i will say I will participate in the conversation horse, especially if I feel someone can benefit from it. I do not 'know it all', I never tout that I do, I tell everyone, this is just my opinion on the subject, and give reference to why/how I came to feel that way. I shared my pain free back fitting book of which does not support treeless particularly, so danette read it to say somehting different than what i read, but my feelings on the subject arent just from that book, but in addition another book of which led me to discuss via phone w/two saddle makers on the subject that feel the same. Danette I do not care that you do not agree with me, obviously it angers you I do not agree with you, and if I my comments/opinions offended you in a personal way I apologize, but now knowing you are the type person that would 'vent' on someone you ride regularly/weekly with, without saying something to them first, I just have to say I really dont care to associate with someone that would be so dishonest with someone. So good luck with your endeavors, but dont bother calling me again, with friends like you, who needs enemies? debb

She is absolutely against treeless saddles! She "thinks" she read in a book on saddle fit that the author was against treeless saddles because they slip and cause back problems. She loaned me that book and I didn't read it the same way. The only thing it really said was that you needed a treeless pad. I did not get the feeling the author had any problem with treeless.

I have just recently purchased a treeless saddle. If it slips, it's because it's a treeless according to her. I couldn't possibly be that the horse is known to blow up his belly so the girth is now loose. Oh, and I'm a heavy rider. Under those circumstances, any saddle will slip a little when I'm mounting or dismounting.

I used it on my mare the other day. One of the people riding with us that day is a horse chiropractor. She checked my mare after the ride and all was fine. I told my riding buddy this and she responded that some horses don't show any problems right away but atrophy over time.

I'm not getting rid of this saddle. It is so comfortable and my hard to fit horses seem to like it.

I ride with her regularly because most people in our area ride slower horses. We are both on gaited horses.

Mostly this is a vent, but if she doesn't lay off soon, I am going to have to stop riding with her.

[PRS]

Just so others know, I am an opinionted horse woman, and of all the horse ladies I know, they all have their own opinions when it comes to the subject 'horse'. what i also will say here, is I'm very disappointed, and obviously now aware that the person who posted the way she 'feels' about me did not have the decency, or what ever you want to say,to say these things 'to' me, instead of 'about' me. I am someone you either like me or do not like me, as I am VERY direct. Iam senior' in age i guess you could say, but despite my years I have always been of the type that I do not put on any 'airs' when it comes to interacting with people. I would not try to intentionally hurt someone, so obviously, I have. With me, what you see is what you get. Danette might have added that I have happily shared many books on various horse subjects, to include saddle fitting. I have gone thru many saddles myself and worked with a chiropractor/acupuncturist to come to the knowledge I have on the subject. But it is 'my' opinion, which is based on my experience and research. I do not require nor expect anyone to agree with 'anything' I say, but what I do expect from people I associate with to be 'honest;'. So, if I say something about someone it is something I would say to their face. Thing is in the horse world, it is a very small world. I've been registered here for months, but do not frequent this. But someone who is 'honest' with me, felt I was done a disservice by danettes comments on me here. I'm sorry you feel that way danette, I've always come when you called to ride, always on time (which both of us appreciate) and I tried to be a sharing/caring friend to you since I've known you. I've shared my tack many times as you were 'experimenting' with what would work for your horse, as I have many different applications horse in my quest for knowledge and what works best for me. I do not insist anyone agree with me, but i will say I will participate in the conversation horse, especially if I feel someone can benefit from it. I do not 'know it all', I never tout that I do, I tell everyone, this is just my opinion on the subject, and give reference to why/how I came to feel that way. I shared my pain free back fitting book of which does not support treeless particularly, so danette read it to say somehting different than what i read, but my feelings on the subject arent just from that book, but in addition another book of which led me to discuss via phone w/two saddle makers on the subject that feel the same. Danette I do not care that you do not agree with me, obviously it angers you I do not agree with you, and if I my comments/opinions offended you in a personal way I apologize, but now knowing you are the type person that would 'vent' on someone you ride regularly/weekly with, without saying something to them first, I just have to say I really dont care to associate with someone that would be so dishonest with someone. So good luck with your endeavors, but dont bother calling me again, with friends like you, who needs enemies? debb

I don't know either one of you ladies....however I HAVE ridden and worked with opinionated folks before and it can be frustrating having to listen to them when I don't particularly care about their opinions. As I can be opinionated myself I have to constantly remind myself to not offer UNSOLICITED opinions. I remind myself that if someone wants to know what I think they'll ask me. At least now you know about a facet of your personality that bothers at least one person....if you care enough to examine it.

[katarine]

Just so others know, I am an opinionted horse woman, and of all the horse ladies I know, they all have their own opinions when it comes to the subject 'horse'. what i also will say here, is I'm very disappointed, and obviously now aware that the person who posted the way she 'feels' about me did not have the decency, or what ever you want to say,to say these things 'to' me, instead of 'about' me. I am someone you either like me or do not like me, as I am VERY direct. Iam senior' in age i guess you could say, but despite my years I have always been of the type that I do not put on any 'airs' when it comes to interacting with people. I would not try to intentionally hurt someone, so obviously, I have. With me, what you see is what you get. Danette might have added that I have happily shared many books on various horse subjects, to include saddle fitting. I have gone thru many saddles myself and worked with a chiropractor/acupuncturist to come to the knowledge I have on the subject. But it is 'my' opinion, which is based on my experience and research. I do not require nor expect anyone to agree with 'anything' I say, but what I do expect from people I associate with to be 'honest;'. So, if I say something about someone it is something I would say to their face. Thing is in the horse world, it is a very small world. I've been registered here for months, but do not frequent this. But someone who is 'honest' with me, felt I was done a disservice by danettes comments on me here. I'm sorry you feel that way danette, I've always come when you called to ride, always on time (which both of us appreciate) and I tried to be a sharing/caring friend to you since I've known you. I've shared my tack many times as you were 'experimenting' with what would work for your horse, as I have many different applications horse in my quest for knowledge and what works best for me. I do not insist anyone agree with me, but i will say I will participate in the conversation horse, especially if I feel someone can benefit from it. I do not 'know it all', I never tout that I do, I tell everyone, this is just my opinion on the subject, and give reference to why/how I came to feel that way. I shared my pain free back fitting book of which does not support treeless particularly, so danette read it to say somehting different than what i read, but my feelings on the subject arent just from that book, but in addition another book of which led me to discuss via phone w/two saddle makers on the subject that feel the same. Danette I do not care that you do not agree with me, obviously it angers you I do not agree with you, and if I my comments/opinions offended you in a personal way I apologize, but now knowing you are the type person that would 'vent' on someone you ride regularly/weekly with, without saying something to them first, I just have to say I really dont care to associate with someone that would be so dishonest with someone. So good luck with your endeavors, but dont bother calling me again, with friends like you, who needs enemies? debb

and you could have told her this privately. With friends like you...

[IrishWillow]

Well, part of growing up as a horse person is learning to accept everyone's thought processes, especially if they differ from your own. Dealing with the "know it all" horse person is all about not playing the game. Dont let her bother you, and just respond with "my horse, my saddle" and move on.

[debbg281]

I responded to the comments you have made Danette. I have to say I am really surprised at all you are saying about me. If you really didnt like me that much, why did you contact me about riding each week? You say many dont like to ride with me, and that may be true. I dont know, and I will not lose any sleep over it. I ride close to home because I'd rather ride on the horse then spend allot of time riding to a location. Plus in the summer I feel like its too hot to travel. I am posting again only because I realize how much and to how 'many' you have run your mouth about me to? I told someone that I would not be riding with you anymore, and was surprised their response was they were glad because they really didnt like to ride with you. I have much to complain on you as well, but have no need to go into it especially in a public forum.
I'm sorry you thought I was such a horrible person to hang with. In talking with a friend today, they informed me much to their surprise as they know we ride together regularly, that all you did was bad mouth me to them recently. Their take on it was they figured if you rode with me so often, as they knew you did, and talked so badly about me, that you would do that to them also. I am not in high school. So this is ridiculous to me that I'm even having a conversation online like this, but I guess what bothers me about it all is probably no one here online even knows me, other than what danette has told you? And who is danette? do you really even know her?
I learned allot today. I learned Danette doesnt even like me, even though we've been riding for months, and she's touted many times how much she does like riding with me. I learned that Danette has said really negative things about me not only in this forum but to others we're both aquainted with as well. All I can say is this line of banter is unproductive, and I'm sorry you think I'm so ignorant. I will say everything I believe, or share is either from my own personal experiences, or research on a subject. I do not expect everyone to believe like I do. I guess I'm just going to be more careful about who I call a friend in the future. When I was younger, I only hung out with guys, cause I really didnt like the 'cattyness; women bring to the picture. But as I've aged I've come to realize there is allot to be gained for women to support one another. I guess I need to scrutinize who i 'hang' with from now on. So, Danette you can keep on talking, but you might be surprised to find that there really are some people who do like me despite your comments that no one does. And whether they do or dont that doesnt matter.
I'm getting quite a few phone calls from all of this. Again, yes this is NOT the correct format to have this conversation, but of course I wasnt the one dissing someone online. I have no desire to 'talk' to Danette, nor will I continue this line of banter online. its really not worth my or your time.

She is absolutely against treeless saddles! She "thinks" she read in a book on saddle fit that the author was against treeless saddles because they slip and cause back problems. She loaned me that book and I didn't read it the same way. The only thing it really said was that you needed a treeless pad. I did not get the feeling the author had any problem with treeless.

I have just recently purchased a treeless saddle. If it slips, it's because it's a treeless according to her. I couldn't possibly be that the horse is known to blow up his belly so the girth is now loose. Oh, and I'm a heavy rider. Under those circumstances, any saddle will slip a little when I'm mounting or dismounting.

I used it on my mare the other day. One of the people riding with us that day is a horse chiropractor. She checked my mare after the ride and all was fine. I told my riding buddy this and she responded that some horses don't show any problems right away but atrophy over time.

I'm not getting rid of this saddle. It is so comfortable and my hard to fit horses seem to like it.

I ride with her regularly because most people in our area ride slower horses. We are both on gaited horses.

Mostly this is a vent, but if she doesn't lay off soon, I am going to have to stop riding with her.

[Shermy]

Hmmm, a few points...

I do NOT know either of you. None of us do. She kept it very vague. YOU used HER name. She just came to vent. It happens. Again, YOU made it personal by adding the names, not her.

You keep saying stuff like WE are saying stuff about YOU. Again, We do not know YOU!

I am sure we can all relate to her vent tho. WE all have lots of different types of people we ride w/or are around because of horses.

Did you make your opinions known more than once?? Did you keep it up AFTER she had already made up her mind and got her Treeless saddle??

If the answer is YES, the I would NOT want to ride w/you either!!

Also, HAVE you ever used or ridden in a Treeless saddle?? If not, then you have NO personal experience w/them. IMO, I wouldnt really care to hear your opinion at all, let along, more than once.

Just in your comments, perhaps, you SHOULD look in a mirror a bit. You do seem a little meladramatic, totally a victim, and kinda selfish. Everything is about YOU.

Perhaps you should reread what you wrote, ask yourself, do I come off as a fun riding buddy??

If you control the pace, place, and talk to the point of not letting other people chat, AND offer lots of "advice" on things that you really have NO personal experience, then you are NOT a fun riding buddy.

Again, I do NOT know YOU, but your two posts kinda paint the picture a bit for me on what type of person YOU are

Also, may I ask.....

If treeless saddles are sooo bad for your horse, then why are they used so much for Endurance? In case you didnt know, in Endurance, people ride their horses LOTS of miles. At a ride, a Vet checks your horse before, during, and after the ride. Along w/many things, your horses back is checked for discomfort.

Let me tell you, if a saddle was causing problems, it would NOT be used. You lose points, so again, the health of the horse is tied into how well you do in the ride.

Seems to me, THAT is worth more quite a bit, more than just one book and your opinion........

[dacasodivine]

Debb, I am so sorry you found my vent. Or rather that you had to find out my frustration this way. I shouldn't have vented on a public forum. I did not want to hurt your feelings. As frustrated as I have been lately, that is the last thing I wanted to do.

I really did used to enjoy riding with you. Why the negativity has gotten to me lately, I don't know but it has.

"She is a nice lady that means well. Our horses are well suited and she also shows up on time. She also would give me the shirt off her back if I asked. She does know she rubs people the wrong way but just can't seem to help herself."

That is a direct quote from out of one of my posts.

If you think about the rest, it is true. You have VERY strong opinions. You do spend the ride talking and it is often negative. Sometimes it's nice to just ride.

As for people not liking me, it's really no big deal to me. You can't get along with everyone. I do try to get along with most people but know I rub some people the wrong way. I KNOW I do and I can't help it.


I'd also like to point out that not once did I call you by name. I do realize that people from this area might (probably would) recognize who was who, but I did not give your name.

One last thing, you are the one that told me people won't ride with you because of how opinionated you are.

[grayarabpony]

Awkward.... and sad.

[dacasodivine]

I have gone and removed most of my posts. I have also posted on Facebook a public apology to her.

Nothing I wrote was untrue so not trying to cover up anything.

[Snowdenfarm]

I have gone and removed most of my posts. I have also posted on Facebook a public apology to her.

Nothing I wrote was untrue so not trying to cover up anything.

You are a class act. BTW, as a result of this thread, I have stopped being available for the self-absorbed, non-stop talker in my riding circle. I realized two things, 1. I am not the selfish person, they are; and 2. Life is too short and riding is meant to be fun.

p.s. I am looking for a W/T/C, weekday trail buddy, lol. No. Seriously.

[dacasodivine]

I am not a class act. It was a crappy thing to do.

I'm glad you did get something out of this thread though.

[debbg281]

if it were just a vent in poor taste that would be bad enough. but I now have learned you have gone to many people on various rides and said horrible things about me. it appears this is more about a person that someone can't trust, as now that others are calling they're telling me this is what you do. I'm really sorry danette, I really appreciated when you called me months ago cause you saw i hadnt been riding lately and told me 'you wanted your riding buddy back'. (i hadnt been riding because of the heat) I met you about a year ago i think it was, and in the beginning i'd shared everything i had, books tack etc because you were trying to figure out what kind of saddle you wanted. You asked for that help. that was a year ago, and when you got this treeless all i said to you about it was 'you know how i think on treeless', other than that when you told me the other day that you thought you were going to put two saddle blankets on with it becuase it didnt fit your horse. I did remind you that the book's take on that was if the saddle doesnt fit it wont fix it long term with adding more pad. The 'vent' as you called it here went on and on about how horrible I am. I told you when we first met I am a compulsive talker, that if it bothered you to just tell me, you laughed and said you're mom was like that, so you would just ignore. But I feel what you've done is more than that, you've talked down on me to people you barely know on rides, but they know me. I have been reminded of some very valuable things with all this, i hope you've learned too that its not kosher to talk about others behind their backs. I do not know why you posted on rockin riders, I had no intention of taking this anywhere else. I have no intention of having anything to do with you anymore. I guess you needed to do that for your own guilty consciounce? I know someone who does this has low self esteem, i feel sorry for you, and wish you the best.

This was just a vent and in poor taste.

[cowboymom]

Well this does all serve as an example of just how far into the ditch poor communication can take a person...

DD, you didn't name names, you just expressed your frustration. Many people would have found out you did that and stopped to think about how their own behavior contributed.

I can completely sympathize with your initial frustration and feeling too overwhelmed to broach the subject.

[tabula rashah]

p.s. I am looking for a W/T/C, weekday trail buddy, lol. No. Seriously.

Where in SE PA are you? PM me if you want