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  1. #41
    Join Date
    Oct. 15, 2001
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    4,712

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kryswyn View Post
    When I was a legal assistant, an unmarried secretary began an affair with her legally separated boss, a partner in the firm. He was verbally warned by the PTB to stop seeing her until the divorce was final. He didn't, the administration placed her with another attorney (how uncomfortable that must have been for HIM), and when the divorce was final he married her. And was promptly told he shouldn't EVER bring her to a partners' dinner. He left the firm taking her with him.
    That situation was completely bungled by the managing partners. If he was already legally separated, it wasn't an "affair." He married her and was told not to bring her to firm events? Good for him for leaving, and taking her and his multimillion dollar book of business with him.

    I personally have no problem with people dating in the workplace, provided it remains professional and they both act like adults if things go south. Given the kind of hours people work these days, I sometimes don't know how they are even supposed to meet people outside of work.



  2. #42

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    If they are both adults, don't worry about it.



  3. #43
    Join Date
    Oct. 28, 2007
    Location
    Pacific Northwest
    Posts
    633

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    If the BO is running a business, then the BO needs to set some kind of employee rules relative to this. Personally, I think it can be problematic at a minimum. Does the groom give better service to this one horse owner in preference to the others? Are they making out around the barn where families come for social interaction and for instruction for their children. Etc., Etc. Best to instruct all employees, no fraternizing with the customers. Particularly, tell the young male grooms to stay away from the well to do owners daughters and wives. No reason for the BO to loose a good customer because the dad/husband who is paying the bills gets mad about something the BO was not totally in control of.



  4. #44
    Join Date
    Oct. 28, 2007
    Location
    Pacific Northwest
    Posts
    633

    Cool

    Quote Originally Posted by wanderlust View Post
    That situation was completely bungled by the managing partners. If he was already legally separated, it wasn't an "affair." He married her and was told not to bring her to firm events? Good for him for leaving, and taking her and his multimillion dollar book of business with him.

    I personally have no problem with people dating in the workplace, provided it remains professional and they both act like adults if things go south. Given the kind of hours people work these days, I sometimes don't know how they are even supposed to meet people outside of work.
    But the situation described is that they were both employees, and an employer is allowed to have rules concerning such. If the employees don't like the rule, they are free to work elsewhere. But the post is about an employee and a customer.



  5. #45
    Join Date
    Oct. 28, 2007
    Location
    Pacific Northwest
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    633

    Cool

    Quote Originally Posted by SwampYankee View Post
    How 'bout this? Over the years I've had to have several quite sharp conversations to the effect that I have no intention of dating or becoming romantically involved with my help! For some strange reason, the odd horse dentist, backhoe driver, or farrier seems to think I'm fair game . . . and believe me I never led them on. I guess they must just dig old bats!
    must be those pheromones....



  6. #46
    Join Date
    Oct. 23, 2004
    Location
    Ft. Lauderdale, FL
    Posts
    1,096

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    Who gives a rats ass?? Get a life, work without stirrups, and focus on becoming a better rider than becoming the next Rona Barrett/ Hedda Hopper!!!!
    Aefvue Farm Ft.Lauderdale



  7. #47
    Join Date
    May. 23, 2009
    Location
    Texas Hill Country
    Posts
    609

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    I say more power to'em. Dang, when I was a hot young future-crone, one of the best things about riding was flirting with the hot young grooms. There's nothing quite as irresistible as Forbidden Love, especially when your objet d'amour has hay-bale-totin' biceps.



  8. #48
    Join Date
    Oct. 1, 2002
    Location
    Cow County, MD
    Posts
    7,083

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    Quote Originally Posted by wanderlust View Post
    That situation was completely bungled by the managing partners. If he was already legally separated, it wasn't an "affair."
    Depends on the divorce laws of the state. I think that here in Maryland, you are not supposed to date while legally separated and moving toward divorce proceedings. I'd say that's roundly ignored, but for a lawyer to testify in his divorce proceedings that he's not dating, while everyone knows he's schtupping his secretary...well, that could potentially get the firm in a pretty awkward place. Never mind the potential sexual harassment case if the relationship hadn't worked out and the secretary claimed that her supervisor had forced her int the relationship.

    Yep, I can understand why the partners kicked them both to the curb.
    Life would be infinitely better if pinatas suddenly appeared throughout the day.



  9. #49
    Join Date
    Aug. 2, 2004
    Location
    Golden State
    Posts
    466

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    I don't really care what they do .. on their own time, elsewhere. A number of trainers started out or worked as grooms and later have gone on and opened their own business ( some even taking the client they are dating).
    Gal grooms have dated and ended up married to fairly well off customers too.. Can't stop people with similar interests from deciding they like each other and spending time together..
    I can explain it TO you,but I can't understand it FOR you



  10. #50
    Join Date
    Oct. 13, 2003
    Location
    Eastern Pacific coast
    Posts
    3,714

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    Quote Originally Posted by Couture TB View Post
    Ok I will be the one person to say I as the Trainer, would not like it. My employee should not date at the end of the day, my boss.
    Exactly. Not many businesses would allow such a relationship.
    -Amor vincit omnia-



  11. #51
    Join Date
    Oct. 4, 2010
    Location
    Eastern Ontario
    Posts
    681

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mardi View Post
    Exactly. Not many businesses would allow such a relationship.
    But clients are NOT your boss. They pay you yes, but they don't employ you. They sign a contract (most of the time) with you NOT the other way around.

    Many jobs I've worked have said no inter employee relationships. Nothing about employees and customers..

    At my barn my friend started dating a barn hand. They are still together years later, though he has moved on from the barn. I HATED it as did my trainer and BO. But all they can do is assure that it doesn't interfere on either end (groom playing favourites, rider preventing groom from doing work.)

    If both are consenting adults, though I understand why it can suck, one really shouldn't be able to do anything about it.



  12. #52
    Join Date
    Dec. 2, 2002
    Location
    Berlin, Germany
    Posts
    2,537

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    Quote Originally Posted by SSacky View Post
    But clients are NOT your boss. They pay you yes, but they don't employ you. They sign a contract (most of the time) with you NOT the other way around.

    Many jobs I've worked have said no inter employee relationships. Nothing about employees and customers..

    At my barn my friend started dating a barn hand. They are still together years later, though he has moved on from the barn. I HATED it as did my trainer and BO. But all they can do is assure that it doesn't interfere on either end (groom playing favourites, rider preventing groom from doing work.)

    If both are consenting adults, though I understand why it can suck, one really shouldn't be able to do anything about it.
    Of course one should. You should be allowed to refuse service to people that disrespect your business' boundaries. The job of a groom is absolutely skilled labor. Depending on how long a groom has been working for a barn, he (or she) can be hellish to replace. If I were a professional running a business that required spending a lot of personal time with my clients (on the road, etc), and one of those clients found it appropriate to begin fraternizing with one of my employees, I would take it up with the employee first, but I would absolutely question to integrity of that client.

    Like the previous poster said, firing a groom has an impact on every single client in the barn and can affect the bottom line in a massive way. Asking a client to leave affects the bottom line until you can replace that client, and allowing a client to stay whose integrity might be out of sync with your own puts more at risk to the business.

    Of course, everything above assumes that the groom/client relationship is in some way interfering with the business. This type of relationship happens all the time, and often has no impact whatsoever on anyone in the barn.
    Here today, gone tomorrow...



  13. #53
    Join Date
    Sep. 4, 2012
    Location
    Del Mar, CA
    Posts
    57

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    I can't stand the person who feels the need to "rat" someone out rather than just letting the truth come forward on it's own. Worry about yourself and let others worry about themselves. If your BO did not establish rules regarding this situation that is their problem, not yours. You have nothing to do with this situation unless it's effecting your time at the barn, which I doubt it is other than you being concerned with someone else's dating life. I don't mean to be outrightly rude but this is just ridiculous.



  14. #54
    Join Date
    Sep. 19, 2008
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    Half past the point of oblivion
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    925

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    You know, I had my reservations about the OP when I first opened this thread, but I think s/he has made it abundantly clear that she was curious ONLY about what other trainers/BO would do in the situation. S/he has clearly stated that s/he doesn't give a rat's ass about class or race, nor was s/he gossiping or meddling in the business of the couple that sparked the question. While none of this was apparent in the first post, it has been clarified and I, for one, think those of you who continue to be rude to the OP should read for content and get a grip. I am offended on his/her behalf at this point.

    In fact, I think it's more likely that the OP was considering dating someone at his or her own barn than that s/he had any prurient interest in that couple. There's certainly more "evidence" to that than to the contrary.
    Holy crap, how does Darwin keep missing you? ~Lauruffian



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