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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Apr. 20, 2009
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    Raeford, North Carolina
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    2,879

    Default A COTHer parody - Grand finale, post #107

    It's miserable raining and I'm bored (also a little punch drunk from sleep deprivation). Anyway, I thought it might be fun to have a little COTH family roast imagining what it would be like to all walk XC together.

    Please, NO OFFENSE INTENDED! It's all in good fun and feel free to add on. There are lots of folks not mentioned, only because I ran out of energy

    Join us now as we observe this herd of COTHers in their natural habitat. It is unusual to see such a large grouping, let’s listen in . . .

    Fence 1:
    ACME: Must wear gloves, must wear gloves, must wear . . . squirrel!

    Janet: Has the TD inspected this jump? The rules are very clear about the spread and I think we may be over.

    Riderboy: Only the best dressage test ever, now my helmet cam can capture the win.

    JER: Sorry I’m late, I bumped into Mick Jagger on my way home from Capoeira club and we just couldn’t stop reminiscing. He is such a card.

    Yellowbritches: I may use the full cheek, mid port, double rein kineton on this course. I’m sure I have one in the barn.

    Fence 4:
    Carol Ames: Did you .

    Reed: I had my students calculate the thrust velocity required for the parabola of the inverse proportion of Pi. Unfortunately they forgot to account for the negative trajectory that occurs when the flux capacitor is in hyperdrive.

    Riderboy: “Good boy!!” What? I’m practicing.

    Deltawave: I’m gonna have to see some research to support the design of this trakhener. A blind sheep could see the data has been obscured by the marketing ploys of corporate sales.

    Carol Ames: What we’re missing is the long format.

    Fence 12a:
    JER: Are we almost done? I’m going to be late for my Sign Language for Sharks class, and you know how much the Cousteau’s hate to be kept waiting. Besides, I have to swing by Madonna’s place; she keeps borrowing my hairdryer and I’ve just had enough.

    Glenbaer: JMP and I love these fences.

    ACME: Has anyone seen my gloves? Oh wait, they’re in my . . . Squirrel!

    Gryhrs: Corner. It had to be a corner.

    Judybigredpony: I’ve got 15 chestnuts in my barn that would eat this for breakfast.

    Riderboy: Let’s just call it a day and go kick CMP’s ass.

    SwampYankee: Whipper-snappers! Get off my lawn!!!

    Vineyridge: I volunteer for jump judge. What? I get to watch the action and drink wine. Win win. (and I’m out of motrin)

    Last:
    Reed: I found the study. Now if we’ll all turn to page 14 . . .

    Gryhrs: What do you guys like for muscle soreness?

    Scubed: I have some links I can share, great products at a reasonable price.

    Lori B: Can’t beat a nice Tb for a course like this.

    Retread: Amen sister! Give me an OTTB any day.

    Riderboy: Sorry guys, I was kicking CMP’s ass. What’d I miss?

    Flightcheck: Testing, testing, 1,2,3. Hey, a helicopter!

    JER: Gotta go, there’s my ride.
    Last edited by ACMEeventing; Sep. 22, 2012 at 06:58 PM.
    "Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing" - Robert Benchley
    Cotton would fight.
    http://buildingthegrove.blogspot.com/



  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jul. 19, 2003
    Location
    Middleburg, VA
    Posts
    13,105

    Default

    The only thing more appropriate would possibly have been dw reminding me to stay on at the last fence.



  3. #3
    Join Date
    Aug. 15, 2008
    Posts
    4,586

    Default

    Good stuff, Acme.
    "Aye God, Woodrow..."



  4. #4
    Join Date
    May. 23, 2007
    Location
    Southern Indiana
    Posts
    2,542

    Default

    Ha! That was great! We all need to be on some kind of team to go kick some European bootie.



  5. #5
    Join Date
    Apr. 17, 2012
    Posts
    1,961

    Default

    Awesome!!! Post of the Year!!!



  6. #6
    Join Date
    Sep. 5, 1999
    Location
    Central FL
    Posts
    4,430

    Talking




  7. #7
    Join Date
    Aug. 4, 2009
    Location
    MD
    Posts
    4,111

    Default

    actually 3 chestnut geldings 17.1-16.2



  8. #8
    Join Date
    Nov. 15, 2005
    Location
    Midwest
    Posts
    607

    Default

    You rock ACME!!!!!!!! This is hilarious!!!

    Ok....I'll play.....

    ACME: I've got to get shoes on this damn horse.

    Riderboy: (saying to Gryhrs) I am sitting up!!

    Gryhrs: (saying to Riderboy) I am looking up!!



  9. #9
    ACMEeventing is offline Grand Prix Premium Member
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    Apr. 20, 2009
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    Raeford, North Carolina
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    Default



    and Gryhrs, you forgot to add "now where's my damn beer?!"
    "Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing" - Robert Benchley
    Cotton would fight.
    http://buildingthegrove.blogspot.com/



  10. #10
    Join Date
    Aug. 17, 2001
    Location
    Hangin' on by a thread...
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    3,327

    Default

    Sigh. I feel like I'm in high school over again and I'm STILL not part of the popular clique.

    Sorry - whine over. Very clever, Acme!
    "Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work." - Thomas Edison

    So, the Zen Buddhist says to the hotdog vendor, "Make me one with everything."


    1 members found this post helpful.

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Nov. 19, 2005
    Location
    Lost in the Sandhills of NC
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    2,575

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by eventer_mi View Post
    Sigh. I feel like I'm in high school over again and I'm STILL not part of the popular clique.

    Sorry - whine over. Very clever, Acme!
    Hey - you and me both. And I'm her neighbor. Heading out to drive . . .


    1 members found this post helpful.

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Jan. 16, 2002
    Location
    West Coast of Michigan
    Posts
    36,321

    Default

    Guilty. I do hate trakehners. (the jump, not the breed)

    Click here before you buy.



  13. #13
    Join Date
    Apr. 15, 2003
    Location
    Northeast MA
    Posts
    4,064

    Default

    FANTASTIC, ACME!!!

    Next installment will include (I hope):

    Gnep: When I was growing up in Germany, we did these courses blindfolded and backwards on our horse. And now that I'm in America, I can do them in a blinding snowstorm.

    RiverBendPol: It doesn't mean anything because its short format!

    Denny: Back in the day, the water would be twice as deep and the riders three times as tough. Where are those riders today?

    XCountrygirl: Are any of these OTTBs?

    Frugalannie: Who has the frozen margarita machine? How close are they to the finish line?
    They don't call me frugal for nothing.
    Proud and achy member of the Eventing Grannies clique.



  14. #14
    ACMEeventing is offline Grand Prix Premium Member
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    Raeford, North Carolina
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by pegasusmom View Post
    Hey - you and me both. And I'm her neighbor. Heading out to drive . . .
    I'm leaving room for a sequel!!!!

    Besides, the I know you two. Not the same as assigning dialogue to internet profiles
    "Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing" - Robert Benchley
    Cotton would fight.
    http://buildingthegrove.blogspot.com/



  15. #15
    Join Date
    Feb. 22, 2000
    Location
    passepartout
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    10,111

    Default

    I was like, 'Mick Jagger? Never met him. Hair dryer? Never owned one.'

    Then I looked at the thread title and saw 'parody'. Oh.

    Very clever, ACME.



  16. #16
    ACMEeventing is offline Grand Prix Premium Member
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by frugalannie View Post
    FANTASTIC, ACME!!!

    Next installment will include (I hope):

    Gnep: When I was growing up in Germany, we did these courses blindfolded and backwards on our horse. And now that I'm in America, I can do them in a blinding snowstorm.

    RiverBendPol: It doesn't mean anything because its short format!

    Denny: Back in the day, the water would be twice as deep and the riders three times as tough. Where are those riders today?

    XCountrygirl: Are any of these OTTBs?

    Frugalannie: Who has the frozen margarita machine? How close are they to the finish line?
    I love it! More, More!!!

    Pegasusmom: When I was organizer a woman could find a drink around here!

    EventerMi: (to self) "get it together, woman. For God's sake you deal with hormonal high schoolers all day. How bad could the Novice ditch be?"
    "Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing" - Robert Benchley
    Cotton would fight.
    http://buildingthegrove.blogspot.com/



  17. #17
    Join Date
    Aug. 17, 2001
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    Hangin' on by a thread...
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    Default

    <sighs with happiness>
    You really DO love me. Guilty as charged.
    "Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work." - Thomas Edison

    So, the Zen Buddhist says to the hotdog vendor, "Make me one with everything."



  18. #18
    Join Date
    Jan. 16, 2002
    Location
    West Coast of Michigan
    Posts
    36,321

    Default

    I love the Eventing board. If this were to take place on Horse Care we'd have all manner of death threats, police action, and hissy fits going on.
    Click here before you buy.



  19. #19
    Join Date
    Jul. 10, 2001
    Posts
    6,711

    Default

    Do you even know me?! Have you done ANY research? Next time check the facts before posting.



  20. #20
    Join Date
    Jun. 25, 2004
    Location
    Carolinas
    Posts
    4,879

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by eventer_mi View Post
    Sigh. I feel like I'm in high school over again and I'm STILL not part of the popular clique.

    Sorry - whine over. Very clever, Acme!
    Me three

    by the way very clever ACME
    "Never do anything that you have to explain twice to the paramedics."
    Courtesy my cousin Tim



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